Closer

Chapter 5 – Christmas

Playing catch-up for Botan proved to be more demanding than she'd expected. Her list of things to do was far longer than ever before, but she refused to give up. Having fully recovered from her flu she threw herself into her work enthusiastic ally and had even stayed up over 24 hours at one point until Kurama dragged her from Reikai himself and ordered her to take a break.

Admittedly, she was relieved when he had. She'd desperately needed at least a day of rest. And in a deep, dark, almost shamed way, she loved how he'd seemed almost…possessive when he had taken her back to Ningenkai. She'd been talking animatedly with a few other ferry girls in the prince's palace when he'd entered, surprising her. His name had only just left her lips when he wordlessly gripped her hand and led her out. Under his strict ordering, once they'd gotten to his apartment, she stayed home to rest.

She found it strange, but also comforting, that Kurama's apartment felt more like home than her actual home in Reikai. Perhaps it was due to their comradery and the ease of simply being with one another, coming home after a day's work to someone. Whenever her mind wandered to what it all meant she had to shake herself free of those thoughts. There was no use in poking a good thing and possibly ruining it. Though she was normally a brave woman she was afraid of what consequences might come from disturbing their peace.

Botan recognized that her feelings were moving beyond the veil of friendship and it terrified her.

Kurama had asked if she wanted to go to bed one evening, held out his hand, and graced her with a heady gaze, and she'd hesitated. She wanted to take his hand, without a doubt, but her fear of things moving too quickly led her to politely decline. He hadn't asked her again since. She did wonder if she'd hurt his feelings and had been agonizing over it ever since.

But she never brought it up. She couldn't tell if he felt anything towards her, at least not in a romantic sense. If he were to admit that he too had feelings for her what would happen? Would they begin dating? Would they just move right into a long-term relationship? What would that even entail? Whatever his feelings might be she couldn't tell anyway, his actions could be read as chivalrous and platonic, but they could also be romantic and intense. The in-between was aloof and sometimes distant.

It was best to leave things alone and enjoy their time together, or so she would always tell herself.

Yet her steadfastness would waver when Kurama would stand behind her while she was cooking or reading and would peer over her shoulder. In those moments she would tell herself that it was because he was tall and she was much shorter, he was just curious. But then he would use his hand to sweep her hair aside and his fingers would touch the skin on her neck, making her shiver right down to her core and her knees would quiver. She knew he was doing it on purpose, sometimes he would even chuckle and apologize even.

But the truth was she didn't want the interactions to stop. In fact, she found herself craving his touch late at night and she would blush darkly at the thought. Yet it never moved past that, and that was perfectly fine or so reminded herself.

000

Somehow, amid everything, Christmas had happened upon them and Yusuke had invited everyone to the temple to celebrate with video games and KFC. She had worked most of that day and hadn't seen Kurama, but it had been expected, and the night before they'd agreed to just meet at the temple. She was excited to give out the gifts to all of their friends and ready to see them all. She was even looking forward to the drinking games Shizuru always managed to win and that Botan always managed to lose.

Rather than fly straight to the temple, Botan took a detour to visit Genkai's grave. She cleared it of snow, set new winter flowers in front of it, and finally brought out a bottle of Reigen sake. "I hope you get to actually try this, Genkai," she said aloud, clasping her hands together to pray. "We miss you. I'll do my best to keep the boys from destroying the temple tonight. Merry Christmas."

She stood in silence for a few minutes, looking up into the cloudy dark sky. More snow was going to fall, she knew, but it was nice to tidy Genkai's grave regardless.

The temple was not too far and so she decided to walk. On her way there she bumped into Seaman, who was also heading to the temple.

"Merry Christmas," he greeted shyly. "I hope you're doing well. I heard you were sick."

"Merry Christmas!" She replied happily, "I was sick, but I'm better now. All healed up, thanks to Kurama."

Seaman frowned momentarily, "Oh. Did he…help you?"

"Mm-hm," she hummed while they continued walking towards the temple, "he's a whiz when it comes to herbal remedies." She avoided mentioning anything else. "How have you been?"

"Uh," Seaman chuckled a bit, "pretty good, all things considered. When I heard you were sick I was worried about you."

She could sense a tinge of something in his voice, but something in her gut told her not to prod. There was a strange vibe in his energy and it reminded her of some of the would-be-suitors from Reikai. The marriage mania had not dwindled, another reason Botan chose to stay in Ningenkai more often than Reikai these days. For that reason, she chose to pretend not to hear the last part of his sentence.

"Oh look, we're already here!" Botan exclaimed when they'd reached the temple steps. "I'm going to fly up on my oar…would you like to join me?"

Seaman shook his head, "Uh, no thanks. I'll see you inside."

"Okie Dokie, then. See you there!"

The cold, biting wind blew away the dread she'd been wearing from their brief encounter. As she landed in front of the temple she could hear the cacophony of cheer within. The warmth was like an embrace and she sighed as she entered, greeting everyone happy and glad to leave the encounter behind her.

There were some youkai, former opponents and now friends and allies, friends from long ago, and a few new people she didn't recognize but they all seemed to be spiritually aware of some sort. Kurama managed to find her among the crowd, gripping her elbow gently and leading her to a quiet spot.

He handed her a plate of food, "I saved you some. Everyone is drunk so it was growing scarce."

Botan squealed in happiness, "You're my hero, I'm starved."

There was an uproar of cheers as Seaman walked in, "Oh, I didn't realize he'd be here." Botan stood on her tiptoes to try and see who he was referring to. "It's Seaman."

"Oh," she said a little glumly.

Kurama chuckled, "Well that sounds cheerful. Coming from the woman who broke her back and ribs saving him a couple of years back, I'm surprised."

She elbowed him playfully, "I bumped into him on my way here. It was kind of awkward."

"Awkward how?" Kurama raised a red brow, not bothering to hide his knowing smirk.

She glared at him, "What do you know?"

"Nothing, nothing," the kitsune assured half-heartedly. "But he did seem quite eager to speak with you while you were sick."

"Ugh," she groaned. "I really hope he doesn't try to ask me out. I'm so sick of being bothered about dating."

That caught Kurama's undivided attention.

"Have you been asked out again?"

She nodded through a bite of chicken, "There were a few notes on my apartment door. One of them had a ring in it." Kurama frowned.

"A stalker?" She shook her head.

"No, they were from a few different people."

He stepped in front of her at that, "What?"

The words caught in her throat. His eyes were sharp and pointed as if he were angry. There was a thin, almost indiscernible line of gold around the edge of the emerald. Her mouth opened and shut a few times and before she could find the words, Shizuru called out to both of them.

"Come play King Cup!"

Thus both Botan and Kurama were pulled into a circle consisting of Shizuru, her new boyfriend, Seaman, Chu, Shishiwakamaru, Yanagisawa, and a few others. There was merriment and much drinking, Botan lost the first round but thankfully it didn't seem to hit her very hard because she noticed a shift in Kurama's mood. Whereas he'd seemed interested and playful before, he was now disinterested and cool. She noticed his eyes fell to a bottle of whiskey next to Chu, but before she could get his attention to ask what was going on, the game changed at the suggestion of Chu. Following that, everyone seemed to drink to their liking. At a certain point, Kurama managed to sit out the remaining games and chose to drink whiskey, stealing the bottle he'd been eyeing and slipping away from the crowd.

Finally, a game of Truth or Dare was started by spinning a bottle, and Yusuke and Kuwabara joined. Yusuke spun the bottle and it landed on Seaman, much to the sandy-haired man's chagrin.

"Alright," Yusuke said loudly, "Truth or Dare?" He wiggled his dark eyebrows suggestively, throwing a knowing glance at Botan.

"Dare," Seaman replied quietly, cheeks tinged pink.

"Okay, I dare you…." Yusuke said slowly, "to take the girl you like outside and confess to her!" There were oohs and ahhs from the crowd. Yusuke grinned cheekily at Botan and she glared back.

She glanced around the room, realizing all eyes were either on her or Seaman. Her face flushed and a pit of despair pooled in her stomach.

And then suddenly, Seaman was standing before her, hand outstretched toward her. She took another long glance around her, expectant faces grinning at her. She wished suddenly that she'd had more to drink.

"Er," she finally let her eyes fall to his hand before hesitantly accepting.

Hoots and hollers followed them outside and became muffled when the sliding door closed behind them. They stood in their socks on the engawa, Botan shifting beneath Seaman's stare.

"Um," Botan started, clearing her throat.

"I'm in love with you," he said bluntly.

She stared blankly, unsure of what to say. Wondering what she had done to encourage this.

"I'm…I'm flattered," she eased. "Truly. And I think you're wonderful. But I…I'm…I'm not…"

"It's that fox demon, right?" Seaman finished for her. "You and Kurama. You're…you're together, aren't you?"

She shook her head in denial, "No, that's not-"

He continued, "Y'know, I saw you two in that coffee shop and then under the umbrella. Kurama said you two are just friends. But, anyway, I don't think he's good for you. I could treat you better. I can treat you right."

Silence hung in the air for a long while.

Botan sighed heavily, "Kurama and I are not a couple. We're just close friends." She shifted her feet, "You're a great guy, but I'm just…not dating right now. I don't have time."

She prayed to herself silently, hoping that was enough to steer him off. But if he was anything like the guys in Reikai it wouldn't be.

"I don't mind waiting," he said decidedly. "I don't mind waiting until you have a free day." He shoved his hand in his pocket and fished out a small piece of paper and stepped close. He took her hand in his, his face scrunched in determination, and placed the paper into her palm, closing her fingers gently around it. "I'll wait for you."

"I-I…" she stammered, unsure of what to say next. She wanted to give the paper back to him, wanted to summon her oar and fly far, far away but most of all, she wanted to go home with Kur-

"There you are." Botan's thought was interrupted by the kitsune's voice as he stepped onto the engawa, leaving the door open. He was still holding the bottle of whiskey in his hand, though it was mostly hidden beneath his coat that was folded over on his arm. The corners of his mouth were turned up in mirth, yet his emerald eyes were alit with something akin to…anger?

"Here we are," Botan confirmed with a sigh of unmistakable relief, yet she couldn't help but shiver from the piercing glare of Kurama's.

Seaman stepped back with his cheeks red. "Well," he stated, "I guess I'll head back inside. I'll talk to you later, Botan"

"Y-yeah," she hummed, giving him the least forced smile that she could muster, just wanting the awkward situation to pass as quickly as possible.

Seaman smiled genuinely and turned from her, he walked past Kurama in silence, and as he stepped into the threshold of the sliding door Kurama spoke.

"Better luck next time, Seaman."

The silence of the cold night grew heady and seemed to stretch on for an eternity.

Seaman finally shut the door behind him, not saying a word nor looking behind him as he rejoined the fun.

"Wow," Botan said flatly as Kurama walked towards her. Wordlessly, he handed her the bottle of whiskey to hold and placed his coat over her shoulders.

"It's freezing out here," he murmured, using his long, calloused fingers to adjust the collar higher up on her neck.

She mumbled a thank-you, frowning, and glanced down at the half-full bottle of whiskey in her hands. Frowning further, she realized the whiskey was far from human, "This is youkai liquor?"

"Yes," he responded flatly, reclaiming the bottle and taking a small sip.

She finally looked up at him, realizing his cheeks were tinged pink. "You're drunk."

"Probably," he said.

She huffed, "Is that why were you mean to Seaman just now?"

Kurama gave a breathy chuckle, "I'm not sure what you mean by that."

A blue eyebrow raised, "' Better luck next time?'"

"Mere words of encouragement."

"Not if they're said sarcastically!" Botan scoffed, incredulous.

They stared at each other for a long while in silence. The tension had grown thick when Kurama finally asked, "What did he give you?"

She blinked before looking down once again to open the small piece of paper, revealing Seaman's phone number. Kurama began to shake in silent laughter, and Botan playfully punched his arm. "Stop it!" She hissed with each punch, fully aware that it didn't hurt him in the least despite him shielding himself from her hands.

He settled down from his snickers and sighed.

"Seaman is an idiot," he said after a moment. She shot him a questioning glare and he raised one long, elegant finger and pointed above them. Her pink gaze followed and she realized they were standing underneath the mistletoe.

She glanced back down and locked eyes with Kurama, who was grinning serenely.

"As I said," he started, "he's an idiot."

She blew a raspberry, earning a chuckle.

Despite wearing his coat she shivered, and he pulled her closer. Very close. It occurred to her that they were extremely close. She could feel his breath upon her face, smell the strong liquor on his breath and it was surprisingly sweet and pleasant. His hands were on her hips beneath the coat, his thumbs rubbing against a small sliver of skin that was exposed between her pants and sweater.

Her flesh broke into goosebumps.

"Are you alright?" He whispered. She nodded, averting his gaze. His voice was far too deep and there was a pool of heat building at her core, if she looked up she might…

She didn't know what she might do, or what he would do for that matter.

"Botan," he said gently, "Look at me."

'I can't,' she thought but the words wouldn't come out. His cool finger lifted her chin, forcing her finally lock eyes with him. 'Crap.'

He was searching her face, but for what she couldn't fathom. He was so, so close. Her heart was beating so loud, could he hear it? Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips almost as if in anticipation.

Was he going to kiss her? Did she want him to kiss her?

'Yes,' she thought. She did. Oh, she wanted him to kiss her desperately. She found her body moving of its own volition, leaning into him, raising her hands to his chest, curling her fingers into his sweater to pull him nearer. But he was drunk, she rationalized, and she wanted it to be real. And this was not real.

At the very last second, she turned her face and kissed him on the cheek, allowing her lips to linger before pulling away. She could feel his brow furrow and wondered if he was angry. But she didn't wait to find out and pulled away from him.

"We should head inside, it's cold." She said and released herself from his arms to walk away. She did not get far, however, as Kurama pulled her back.

One hand gently pulled her by the arm, spinning her to face him, and the other cradled the back of her head. He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on the edge of her mouth, holding her close to him

She could have melted in his arms and let her eyes drift close to enjoy the intimate moment.

She could feel his heart beating slowly, as it was for all youkai, but harder than usual. His warmth and embrace were so very soothing, she didn't want to be released from his hold.

And yet, she knew it had to end. And when he finally pulled his lips away, his gold-tinged eyes moved over her face before finally saying, "Let's go."

Botan nodded mutely and followed him inside, taking off his coat and handing it to him. They joined the others, splitting off as Kurama joined Yusuke Kuwabara while Botan joined the ladies.

She was not present with her friends. A million questions ran through her mind. She wanted to ask him what this meant most of all. She did her best to join the night, imbibing more than what she normally might if only to forget even the tiniest bit. But when she caught him smiling at her from across the room she went back to those feelings.

At the end of the night, they all went to separate rooms there at the temple, Kurama and she walked alone a little and bid each other a quiet goodnight. And as she snuggled into her futon she decided it was best that all her questions remain unanswered. Because she was sure that the answers, whatever they might be, were going to break her heart.

Yet again she reminded herself, "Being friends is enough."

OOO

A/N: Thank you all for your patience! This chapter was inspired by a Japanese doujinshi I read about a love triangle between Seaman, Kurama, and Botan. It was warm and fuzzy and so good, it inspired me. I hope you all liked the chapter!