Alright, before we proceed into the fifth chapter, I know I have really bad grammar and I am sorry for that..its quite embarrassing to me. But, I don't really do my fanfics in Word, I do them in Dreamweaver MX (for some weird reason ...I have an attachment to Dreamweaver). There is a spell check in Dreamweaver, how ever...

It sucks.

Yeah, and add my ADD and mild Dyslexia in there...and you got my lovely english...Even though I got C's in English.

So, once again, I am sorry. But its very difficult to write because I do jumble up my words and write backwards sometimes and there is also a mass confusion of what past hence to use or what punctuation to use because I am more focused to try to write even the smallest word right now...So, I am soo sorry. Sometimes its a struggle to even write a small sentence. This time I am using Word to proof read my fanfic...And someday, I go back and fix the errors on these chapters and re-upload them.

Author's dumb plea: READ "In Search of Dracula" or "Dracula: Prince of Many Faces". They will make you look at Dracula in a whole new way and this is where I get the majority of the historical flashbacks.

Till then, pretend the legal disclaimers and shit are up here (even though you really don't need them since there is a disclaimer around FF.net somewhere, but hey.) and I do not gain any profit from these fics....go me.

"I hope then you understand who you really are then, Seras. Until then, I can't tell you what mistakes to make. But you do mean something to me."

Silence.

Seras was left starring at the wall from which he left. She mentally never remembered him leaving...Just starring at the green wall ...Wondering..

Wondering what he meant. As in what carnage was left behind him? Surely it wasn't the mass atrocities he committed from the time she saw in Hellsing. It was something else she never knew of. Seras however, wanted to know what he was talking about in order to get to know him better. Maybe ...Because she wanted to so much she could...be closer to her master. Her eyes finally parted from the wall towards the door. Seras walked over and stretched out her hand to grasp the handle of the door, but paused. The sudden whirlpool she found herself in and her own personal desire to know the past of her eternal master left a deeper pain and suffering than before. Seras looked at her bare hand for a moment and thought to herself. "Is my desires causing my pain?" It made it worse for her each day, the days she been in the Hellsing organization trying to adjust were getting difficult each day.

"I need to get out of here," she finally muttered and took the door handle firmly and proudly step out her room. But she stopped in the hallway, looking around making sure he wasn't around..

"I...just need to relax," She said lithlessly to herself. "I can walk to the old libary...yeah I can do that." Seras then slowly headed towards upstairs out of the Hellsing basement.

"So what now, police girl?" Alucard thought to himself in the basement as his mind watched her..

It wasn't too bad. Only ten minutes past seven. The sun was long gone and the streets were scarce with human people walking. Seras calmly walk through the neighborhood towards the old library nearby the Hellsing mansion. "Heh," she said smiling sarcastically. "I can read 'Harry Potter' there." She said looking down at her old brown shoes and dark denim flair pants she hadn't got the chance to wear. It was still breezy, so the dark blue sweater came in handy. But alas, no hat. The wind brought a cold grasp around her face and ears, but her face remained an icy pale color. Seras turned down the block pass an old house..probally from the Victorian age. And she stopped near an old neighborhood and read a plaque to herself..

"Carfax Abbey".

"Hmm?" Seras questioned the plaque and its familiarity."Didn't Walter mention this to Master?" She said leaning over it. Seras studied it for at least thirty seconds and pulled away looking down at the covered figure of the old library. Seras scolded herself for being distracted like the little neighborhood children with ADD who would get distracted even at the sight of a paperclip. Resuming her little journey under the dimly lit lamps and the collected fog...But she thought nothing of the fog behind her.

Finally at the old library, Seras was able to unwind and clear her head that was cluttered with confusion and girlish heart-ache. Seras managed to stumble across the newest Harry Potter book, licking her lips deciding what was the big hub-bub about a boy witch to her. But, even that was werid for a woman of her age ...Maybe in fifty years ...yeah. Seras found herself wandering down the history section of the library, nonchantlly reciting the lyrics of Nirvana's "Come As You Are" in her head. Seras bumped into (while not looking in front of herself) a young male librarian."Oh, I am so sorry, sir!" she exclaimed as she rubbed her right arm. He turned to her suddenly. "Oh, great. He's mad." She thought. But he wasn't mad but let out a small chuckle. "Oh, its ok, Miss." He said. He was really appealing too...even for a librarian with a bunch of books...But who is paying attention to that, right? He had her old eye color of blue and his unkempt dark brown hair was stylishly messy. But he even looked like a librarian too....with the tie and and the brown slacks. "Looking for anything in particular, Miss?" He said. Seras snapped out of her dreamy gaze. "Nope, not really," She said waving her hands carelessly through the air. "I am just bored." The male librarian smiled and tossed his head lightly. "Well, you don't seem like the type that comes in here," He said. Seras stood at him blankly, trying to absorb the comment as not an insult. "But, even you can have fun." He smiled wider. "Oh?" Seras said folding her arms. Hey, he was cute, but he seemed too dumb...at least in her view. "Well, I am just here wandering.." Seras said firmly. The librarian blinked. "Since its halloween season," He said turning to one side quickly and turning back to her. "I recommenced you look through the books about vampires. Its really interesting. You really should look at Vlad the Impaler or Elizabeth Bathory." Seras quizzically looked at him. "Vlad the what now?" "Vlad the Impaler," He said "He was the real life Dracula. I'm such a big history nut, don't mind me." He scratched the left side of his head and gave her a smitten look of embarrassment. Seras giggled. "Oh, its ok. That does sound neat ...I guess I could look at it," She pointed her two fingers together. "Since I am so bored. I won't mind." The librarian seemed eager about her down-to-earth agreement. "Alright! I'm so sick of those Bela Lugosi Dracula's. They drive me nuts personally."

Seras parted from the librarian who reminded her that he would be placing books back and she noded to know that she was really listening.

Seras pulled out a book and didn't bother to even look at the cover. She scanned through pages, suspecting never to find anything really intrusting but stopped to look at a paragraph.

Exert from "In Search of Dracula" page 3.

"It was autumn of 1969 when we tracked down Castle Dracula. The castle was by then abandoned, in ruins, and known to the peasants as the castle of Vlad Tepes, or Vlad the Impaler, a ruler notorious for mass impalement of his enemies. Vlad Tepes was in fact called Dracula in the fifteenth century, and we found that he even signed his name that way on documents, but this fact was not even known by the peasants of the castle region."

"Ok, that was thrilling." Seras muttered and rubbed her forehead. But then it slowly hit her. "Wait a minute." She muttered reopening the book and looking through the chapter index.

Exert from

Exert from "In Search of Dracula" page 41.

"Dracula's crimes, the refinements of his cruelty, deserve a chapter unto themselves. Impalement, hardly a new method of torture, was his favorite means of imposing death. A strong horse was usually harnessed to each leg of the victim, while the stake was carefully introduced so as not to kill instantly. Sometimes Dracula issued special instructions to his torturers to have the pales rounded-off, lest gaping wounds kill his victims on the spot. Such quick death would have interfered with the pleasure he received from watching their agonies over time."

"Oh, no.." She said looking blankly at the book. The pages she read more and more into it...It began to sound like she knew him in a way..

Then she became engrossed with the book, reading through the chapters of the vampirism of the old world to the many horror stories of the Impaler prince. The more she read, the more she realized how identical Alucard was with Vlad the Impaler. Seras remained shocked through the half of the book as she slowly began to realize..

Alucard, draculA.

Alucard was Dracula, therefore, his own personal atrocities were reveled at last to her. "Oh, my god." Seras said to herself shutting the book slowly. She had to question him. She had to know...why. Seras immediately got up from the table she sat from and ran almost into the same librarian.

"Sorry!" She said waving her hand to him. The librarian watched in awe as Seras tore from the library. Seras began to lightly jog and then realized she was running..

"Why am I running?" Seras stopped. It was completely dark. She'd been in the library at least for forty-five minutes Now that she knew the shocking truth behind his sadistic tendencies, Seras almost felt..

Pity.

No, that couldn't be it...for something so cruel and unjust.

Seras finally managed to come back to her room and breathed in her newest thoughts...She spent some time wandering in the cold rain and the small rainy breeze sorting out some confusing feeling of panic. "Its over now," She said "There is no turning back." Seras gently leaned against the door and smiled lightly. She could never really hated him for his past. No, never. Her feelings were in fact real and not a childish after thought. Her feelings never changed because she cared deeply and pitied him.

"I don't need your pity." His cold, flat voice pointed out to her.

Seras looked to her side and removed her back from the door. "What?"

"Hmm...what is with that look on your face, police girl?"

She realized a sudden anger lit within her. "But, Master, I-" She was cut off from him coming into her small room once more. He quietly came through the wall with his eyes and hair shown without his usual attire, hardly a time Seras saw him without it. Alucard smirked again psychotically (oh, how much she dreaded this smile now). "You really thought you can get to know me better by reading meaningless facts?" Alucard looked at his subordinate and how she clenched her fists. Seras tired to speak but nothing came out to say anything to him.

"Hell, half of every single thing written is exaggerated," Alucard noted. "Even I had a heart...as much as it pained them to even think that." Seras chose to listen for him for a moment to continue, but he continue to look at her. Alucard, like always knew all. He knew what she wanted to accomplish from reading the books about his past, trying to dent him and know him in some way. But he enjoyed it as a quiet, buried thing left to be alone from her. Seras finally spoke. "I am sorry ...I shouldn't have done this...to you." Somehow, he was smitten by her innocent apology.

He began to advance towards her, Seras flinched and cowered against the wall as he finally towered over her. Seras looked into his old, blood-red eyes. "Please don't be mad. Your still the same to me." Seras thought within. "Then what do you want from me?" Alucard asked her in a quiet menacing tone. Seras looked over past his arm towards the bed. "I should gone to take a nap..." she thought avoiding any contact from him.

"Are you ever going to answer?" Alucard asked her. Seras remained there, staring at her bed, yearning for an interruption. "No...no, I mustn't answer." She looked at the creases on her bed. Alucard studied her face for a moment, trying to have glance...even look at him.

"Heh," A small breath escaped his lips. "Your always stubborn."
"...No." Seras thought in denial at his balant truth.
"I will never dote on you, Seras." Alucard harshly said to a cowering Seras, still looking at her bed. "So, you have lost your opportunity here, Police Girl." Alucard turned away from her. Seras finally looked up at him.

"I pity you." She finally said to him. "I pity you because you have lost it all."

"You know nothing," Alucard looked at her. Their eyes finally met and his became smaller with his squint. "You may know small things about me, but you know nothing."

"But, no matter what you have done now or then," Seras said folding her hands together looking at the floor...Here it was...Admitance. "I still love you." She finally said to him. Alucard stood emotionless at her. Seras prayed maybe in some way or form it would finally comfort him.

"No, I don't care what I hear." Her thoughts opened up, ignoring the fact that he was still listening to her.
"For you have pity too, you have shown me pity. You do have a heart. And mine will always ache for you because you push me away ...I am not like the last girls ...I am hear and I accept your presence...evil or not.

Ok, FINALLY...some sleep! I tried correcting most of the errors, and yeah, there were some bad spelling errors. I decieded to use exerts from one of my books since I couldn't come up with anything...Once again, any suggestions are welcomed....

Will Alucard revel his real feelings too? Keep watching... the skis-I mean skys.