The Ties That Bind
Chapter 8
Sabé cornered Obi-Wan in the main hall of the Palace as the preparations for the Queen's birthday were underway. Senators from all over were going to be coming and everything had to be just right. Still, she'd not forgotten the slight Obi-Wan had given her the night before. He'd been on the fringes of the activity all day and it'd taken some doing but she'd finally gotten him alone.
Dressed in one of the Queen's gowns, her face made up so she resembled her friend, Sabé felt a little strange cornering the Jedi Master. "Master Kenobi."
He turned from his place on the balcony. The waterfalls were stretched out below throwing a mist into the air that coated everything. "Is there something you need, your highness?"
Her lips flattened. "We're away from prying eyes, the roar of the waterfalls make it impossible for listening devices to be kept out here and the only way to spy on this balcony is to fly. Please drop the pretense."
His smile was faint but he inclined his head. "As you wish."
"Good." She turned the lock on the balcony doors and stepped towards him. His gaze went to the lock and back to her.
"You don't think that will stop me if I want to leave, do you?"
"No. But it should slow you down if I have to drag you back here. What happened last night Obi-Wan?"
He turned away from her, looking out across the landscape. The wilds of Naboo stretched out in front of his gaze and he found himself wishing she wasn't so stubborn. Many women he's been acquainted with would have let the matter drop. Not Sabé, oh no. She was like a child with a question. She had to have it answered. "A mistake, my lady."
"Don't give me that," she stepped up to him and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him so she could look him in the eye. "What happened last night was something I've never felt before with any other person. I've been kissed a lot, Obi-Wan, men seem to think that handmaidens are with the Queen to... entertain her guests. All of us have been kissed a lot, though never twice by the same man. Last night was the first time I've ever felt something beyond revulsion."
"And you want to try it again." He shook his head. "Sabé, there can be nothing between us. That kiss was a mistake, no matter how right it felt."
Her eyes widened. "You felt it too."
He nodded reluctantly. He couldn't very well deny it after that slip. "I felt something, yes. You started that kiss, though, so maybe that was the difference."
She shook her head, adamant. "No, Obi-Wan. I've kissed men before, but it's left me empty. Don't you see? Jedi or not, you can't fight whatever is bringing us together. Yet, you insist on trying. Why?"
"My code, sweet Lady." His eyes were sad, "If I break the code I could very well be thrown out of the order. And then what? What happens to Anakin? To Padmé? What happens to everything I've ever been trained to do, think and feel? It's all for nothing."
She felt as if he'd slapped her. "I'm nothing? You call me nothing?"
"No! No, you're not nothing," he grabbed her shoulders to keep her from turning away. "Sabé, you need to understand that being a Jedi is all I know, it's all I've ever known. How can I turn my back on that for anyone, no matter how tempting?"
She straightened her spine. "I understand." She stepped back, forcing him to break his hold on her and turned. Unlocking the doors she stepped back inside. She'd cry when she was alone and away from him. He'd never know how much he'd just hurt her. She'd never let on that he'd just broken her heart.
Padmé came to with the dry, warm heat swirling though the cave. "Anakin?" she cleared her throat, coughing, as her voice came out weakly. "Anakin?" she heard her call echo in the cave, and looked about. She began pushing herself to her feet, but as she began to place her weight on her wrist, pain shot through it clear through to her shoulder. It was broken. Her brow furrowed. How had she broken it?
She lay on Anakin's cloak, the fabric soft against her damaged skin. She sat up and cradled her hand against her chest, feeling the blood pounding in her ears as she looked around. Shmi lay in repose, unmoving, not breathing. Padmé remembered with a sudden flash that she was dead. Her memories of the previous night came rushing back and she gasped. The pain. The anger... Anakin! Forcing herself to her feet, and nearly falling from the speed, she looked around. Where was he?
"Anakin?" she made her way to the cave entrance and looked outside. Anakin was standing a ways away, the suns at their peak in the sky, a small brown-cloaked critter speaking with him. Padmé stumbled out of the cave, shielding her eyes from the glare of the suns. Something was wrong with him, she could feel it through their bond, but he'd closed her out.
He turned, raising one hand in greeting to her, before nodding to the little creature and beginning to walk back towards her. Her body aching from pain, she walked towards him, throwing her one good arm around his neck when he was close enough, and hugging him tightly. "Anakin."
Anakin buried his face in the curve of her neck, shaking in her grasp. *Save me Angel,* he begged silently, *Don't let me fall.*
*I'll always be here to catch you, Ani,*
He released her, tears rimming his eyes, his expression desolate, "I killed them," he whispered harshly, his tone pained, "I killed them all, Padmé. I couldn't save her. They killed her. I couldn't bear the thought of them taking you from me too... I-"
"Shhh..." she pulled him back close, hugging him again, "It's alright, Anakin," she kept her tone comforting, even as she felt the depth of his despair, his pain. He was agonizing over what he'd done, what he'd seen in himself. "You're human, Ani, we all fall sometimes."
"I'm glad they're dead,"
She closed her eyes, feeling his words like a knife as they rang true. He truly hated the Tusken Raiders for what they'd done. She couldn't blame him. Unable to think of anything else to do, she held him as he cried silent tears on her shoulder. He pulled away, reluctant to let her go. She grounded him, gave him focus. He was afraid of what would happen if he was ever separated from her.
She slid her hand downwards and gently cupped his face, looking deep into his eyes, "I love you, Anakin. I'll always be here for you."
He leaned in close and kissed her gently before pulling back, his smile weak but genuine. "I know, Angel, though why you choose me, I don't know. What would I do without you?"
Her smile was gentle, "You'd survive. Who were you talking to?"
"Jawas. Desert traders. I found us transportation."
She raised an eyebrow in inquiry and he motioned to where ten Jawas were approaching them, carrying something. "It's a speeder bike. They've got the coordinates for our ship, we can leave it there once the thing is fixed."
She nodded, "I'll go prepare your mom."
Anakin winced. She'd said it gently, but it hurt. The knowledge that he'd never again see his mom smile hurt. "No. I'll do it. You're still injured."
She grasped one of his hands in hers, their fingers linking, "We'll both do it. Come on."
Unable to argue, he allowed himself to be led back into the cave.
Several hours later, Anakin was tightening the last bolt on the ship. The speeder bike they'd acquired had shaved most of the time off their journey. Once back at the ship, he'd used a medpac on Padmé, splinting her wrist and using some hard fought for Jedi healing powers. Her back had been tended at the cave, though how he couldn't remember. He was still weak, drained from the night's exploits, and was fighting to keep his eyes open.
"Anakin, get some sleep." He looked up at Padmé. She stood in the doorway, a glass in her hand, looking at him. "You look terrible."
He turned back to the bolt and continued to tighten it. The console and panel that had blown out, the altitude controls shot, which had caused the ship to crash. He'd fought with the wires, but somehow he'd managed to jury-rig it to work. "I can't sleep right now, Padmé. I need to get my mother back to the moisture farm."
"Moisture farm?"
He nodded, sitting back at last, wiping his hands on a rag, "Yes. Before she..." he swallowed hard and tried again, "before she died, I saw pictures in her mind. She'd been happy, Padmé. Happier than she'd ever been as a slave. I think the Lars man Watto mentioned married her."
Padmé crouched next to him, extending the drink, "At least she was happy, Ani. If you won't sleep, drink this. It's concentrated and should keep you awake enough to fly."
He smiled at her gratefully before taking a sip, making a face at the strength. "Thanks. Let's get this over with."
She followed him to the cockpit and strapped herself into the co-pilot's chair. Anakin began running through the pre-flight, checking the systems carefully as Padmé was looking over their scans of the area. "Here, is this it?"
He glanced over, half standing to see her console. "No. Try looking more to the north and west, not east,"
She nodded and did as asked as he triple checked the systems. Finally he keyed the engines, feeling the ship rumble as they ignited and let a smile cross his lips. His repairs had worked. He coaxed the ship backwards from the sand, the sleek hull shedding the sand like water, before finally leveling out above. He checked the lights on the board. The landing skids were shot, but that could be worked around. He could still land. "Padmé?"
She nodded, "Give me a minute, I don't have your Jedi senses and I'm injured, remember?"
He waited impatiently before she finally sat back again, "Here?"
He glanced at the screen and nodded, "That looks close enough. Feed it into the system, would you?"
She hit a couple of buttons, "Done."
Anakin called the information up on his console and hit a few buttons, keying in the autopilot. He couldn't fly; he could barely keep his eyes open for all his determination to do it himself.
Padmé was watching him. He could feel her gaze, her concern. "I'm fine. Just tired."
She shook her head. "Sleep. If you're right, you don't want to be meeting your step-father half asleep."
The reference to his extended family brought his head up, brought him back to wakefulness, "How can I face them?"
"I'll be with you. We'll face them together. Sleep, Anakin, it will be a couple of hours at least until we get there."
He shook his head, "I want to get this over with," forcing himself to stay awake, he flipped a couple of switches and took control. Putting the ship to its maximum atmospheric power, he sped them forward. At their speed they would be at the homestead Padmé had found within a half hour. He simply wanted to get this over with and find someplace he could curl up with Padmé and talk it out of his system. He kept his deepest feelings shielded from her, kept her from knowing his fear that this would somehow continue to eat at him until he couldn't deal with it. Keeping that fear quiet, he consciously focused on the task at hand; flying towards a family he'd never known.
The ship landed carefully on the ruined struts, sinking down slowly until the belly was against the sand. Anakin rubbed the back of his neck as the engines shut down. He wasn't looking forward to meeting these people, even if they weren't the ones he'd seen in his mother's memory. Padmé's hands moved his aside and rubbed his neck for him, "Are you up for this?"
His eyes closed with a sigh, "No, but do I have a choice?"
She leaned down and gently kissed his cheek, "I would say yes, but there's a young man approaching."
Anakin's eyes flew open. Owen Lars. The name popped into his mind. The ache in his heart continued to grow as he watched the other man. He wasn't much older than Anakin, a season or two maybe, and he looked as if he'd been living here all his life. Anakin pushed himself from the chair, leading the way to the emergency hatch. Padmé followed him out, donning a cloak that would hide most of her partially healed injuries, and protect her from the sun.
Anakin took her had as she stepped out into the blazing heat. The other young man stopped a few yards away, watching them as they approached. "Can I help you stranger?"
Anakin stopped, facing the other man and squaring his shoulders, "I'm Anakin Skywalker."
Owen's face was critical, but trusting, "I had a feeling you might show up. I'm Owen Lars."
Anakin stepped forward, motioning to Padmé, "This is Padmé."
Owen nodded to her, "Are you looking for your mother?"
Anakin felt Padmé's hand around his upper arm, lending him support. "I already found her, she bade me bring her here. She's dead."
Owen's shoulder's hunched as he bowed his head. "Come inside." He said after a few moments of silence, "We need to speak with my father."
Anakin awkwardly followed the other young man down into the small homestead.
Cliegg Lars was sitting in a repulsor chair, both of his legs bandaged just above the knee. One was missing, the other looked like it had been severed but reattached. The grisly moisture farmer watched as the two young men approached, Owen's posture giving him a clue as to their strange visitors.
Owen stopped, "Dad, this is Anakin Skywalker."
Anakin stepped forward and shook the hand Cliegg extended, "Cliegg Lars."
"I was told to bring you a message, sir."
Cliegg looked at him expectantly, "From who?"
Anakin felt Padmé's hand slip into his own as he fought to find the words, "From my mother. Before she died, she asked me to tell you she was sorry."
Cliegg bowed his head, "My darling wife," he murmured softly. He lifted tear rimmed eyes to meet Anakin's piercing blue ones, "I'm sorry, son."
Anakin acknowledged his sympathy with a nod, fighting past his closed throat to speak, "Where would you bury her?"
"If you have her body son, Owen will bring her inside. We'll prepare her for burial." he raised his voice, "Beru,"
Beru Whitesun came out from the tunnel entrance to the kitchen, wiping her hands on a rag. She was alarmed when she saw their bleak faces, "Cliegg? What's the matter?"
"This is Shmi's son, Anakin. Owen's girlfriend, Beru. Anakin has retrieved Shmi's body." She nodded in understanding, tears filling her eyes as she fought not to cry. Shmi had been loved by each of them. "I'll show you to your rooms."
Anakin followed Beru, Padmé close behind, as Owen went to retrieve his step-mother's body from their craft.
Sabé sank down on her bed as the sun began to set. She was in no mood to watch the Nabooian sunset, not share the outer room with the man who'd brushed her off earlier. What had she done wrong? He wanted her, she knew that much, and yet he was fighting it. She ached for his touch, his kiss, even now. Especially now. He'd hurt her and all she wanted to do was curl up against his chest and cry. She brushed the tears off her cheek, hoping he couldn't feel her distress. She grabbed her pillow as she crawled across her bed and curled up against the headboard, her knees to her chest, hugging the fluffy headrest. How could he just reject her like she was some old shirt he didn't want? No, that wasn't accurate. He'd treated her like chattel, like she was his to do with as he pleased.
She buried her face in the pillow, hot tears leaking from her eyes even as she fought them. How could he hurt her this way? He was a Jedi, her mind whispered. That was no excuse. What gave him the right to mistreat her heart if he was a Jedi. His damn code, that's what. There is no emotion. HA! Who were they trying to fool? Everyone had emotions, even stoic Obi-Wan. Not that he ever showed anything beyond being the perfect gentleman. The prefect Jedi. They'd turned him from a man who loved to laugh and make witty remarks into the strange he was now. How dare they take the fun loving young man she remembered and destroy him? Surely that side of him was still lurking under the surface somewhere.
She grimaced. Maybe not. After this afternoon's fiasco she didn't really want to take a chance to find out. Her heart hurt too much from his words, the scars still fresh. She swallowed a sob. She didn't want him to hear her crying over him, it was the last thing he needed.
A knock on her door brought her head up and she inhaled sharply. "Yes?" She grimaced as her voice cracked.
"Are you alright, Sabé?"
"Fine. Just fine. Go away, Obi-Wan."
There was silence as she laid her head back on the pillow. A part of her wished he'd come back to make her feel better, simply to talk to her.
The thought had barely crossed her mind when he knocked again. "Sabé, could I talk to you?"
"I asked you to go away, Obi-Wan. I don't want to speak with you." She could hear his sigh as she wiped her eyes.
"I can feel your distress, lady. Please, may I come in?"
"Fine," she said peevishly, "do what you want. Invade my space, take anything you want, you will anyway."
"Sabé."
"What?"
"May I?"
Her anger drained from her, leaving her feeling numb. Even now, knowing she was hurting, he was respecting her wishes. She wiped her eyes again, and then her cheeks, fighting to erase the evidence of her crying bout. "Yes, Obi-Wan. Come in."
The door slid open and he stepped inside, just far enough to allow the door to close behind him. He looked at her, guilt surfacing. Her eyes were red, swollen, the only evidence of her tears. Yet he'd felt her pain, her distress. He knew she was hurting alot more than she let on. "I'm sorry if what I said hurt you today."
She waved one hand as if to dismiss his apology. "What makes you think that? I was silly to have entertained the notion of that simple kiss being something special. You're right, I was wrong. Forget about it, I have."
For some reason her comment stung. "Forget it? I can't."
She shrugged carelessly, "I don't see why not. It was a simple little kiss."
He took a breath, holding it briefly, before letting it out. "You know how I feel about that kiss. I told you as much."
"So? You'll never do it again, or anything beyond it. Why are we having this conversation?"
"You're being difficult, Sabé."
"And you're obtuse. I guess we're even."
He cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "I'm obtuse?"
She nodded. "You couldn't just let me off easy, let me keep my pride. Oh no, you had to go and choose your damn order, your job, above me and my feelings. Go ahead, Obi-Wan. Deny it."
He couldn't. She knew it; he knew it. "It's not just a job, Sabé, it's a part of who I am. I'm sorry I hurt you."
She glared at him for a moment before looking away. "Hurt me? You don't have the power to hurt me. I simply won't let you."
He stalked her, stopping by the bed and grabbed her by the shoulders so she had to look at him. "Don't give me that. I know what you're feeling, they're pounding at me from all sides. You have no idea what it's doing to me to feel you in pain like this."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why should I care? You don't care for me, that much is plain."
"Attachment is forbidden."
"The hell with forbidden!" She lifted one hand as if to strike him but he caught. "Anakin is attached to Padmé, why are they accepting their relationship? Why can't we have what they have?"
"They're Life-bonded, Sabé. They won't survive for long if they're parted. If one dies, the other will become a shell, half a person. I don't envy the difficult life ahead of them."
"I do." She was trapped against the headboard, Obi-Wan's face close to hers. She knew he could see her tears, the truth of her words in her eyes. "If it bound me to you, I would do it in a heartbeat."
"Why?"
"If you have to ask, Master Jedi, then you have no business being in my room. Get out."
He didn't move. "Sabé..."
"I said get out. Leave me alone. You've done enough damage, let me heal and move on."
He swallowed hard. "I know I should, but I don't want to."
"It's a little late for that, don't you think?"
His response was to slant his mouth possessively across hers, pinning her to the headboard with his body. She meant to fight him, should have fought him, but electricity was running through her veins and her heart was singing with joy. She wanted this. She wanted him. She kissed him back urgently, her hands caught in his and pinned together. His kiss was hungry, demanding and receiving her response as she began to drown in the sensations.
He tore his mouth away and backed off, getting to his feet. "If you can tell me to leave now, I'll leave."
She watched his heaving chest, her own rapidly rising and falling. Her gaze moved to his face. She saw his inner battle against his duty and his desires. She swallowed hard, turning her face away. "Please leave."
She sensed his sudden stillness. Her words were barely a whisper but he still heard her. Without a word he turned and left the room.
She turned to watch the door close, her eyes sad. She knew if he'd given in to the passion she felt in his kiss it would destroy him. It would destroy his equilibrium and, though she'd love to see him rattled, she couldn't do that to him. She could turn him from his chosen path and make him something he wasn't. He wouldn't be her Obi-Wan if she did that. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she fought against the tightness in her throat. Saying those two words to him had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.
Sabé curled up with the pillow in her arms and buried her face in the soft folds.
Chapter 8
Sabé cornered Obi-Wan in the main hall of the Palace as the preparations for the Queen's birthday were underway. Senators from all over were going to be coming and everything had to be just right. Still, she'd not forgotten the slight Obi-Wan had given her the night before. He'd been on the fringes of the activity all day and it'd taken some doing but she'd finally gotten him alone.
Dressed in one of the Queen's gowns, her face made up so she resembled her friend, Sabé felt a little strange cornering the Jedi Master. "Master Kenobi."
He turned from his place on the balcony. The waterfalls were stretched out below throwing a mist into the air that coated everything. "Is there something you need, your highness?"
Her lips flattened. "We're away from prying eyes, the roar of the waterfalls make it impossible for listening devices to be kept out here and the only way to spy on this balcony is to fly. Please drop the pretense."
His smile was faint but he inclined his head. "As you wish."
"Good." She turned the lock on the balcony doors and stepped towards him. His gaze went to the lock and back to her.
"You don't think that will stop me if I want to leave, do you?"
"No. But it should slow you down if I have to drag you back here. What happened last night Obi-Wan?"
He turned away from her, looking out across the landscape. The wilds of Naboo stretched out in front of his gaze and he found himself wishing she wasn't so stubborn. Many women he's been acquainted with would have let the matter drop. Not Sabé, oh no. She was like a child with a question. She had to have it answered. "A mistake, my lady."
"Don't give me that," she stepped up to him and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him so she could look him in the eye. "What happened last night was something I've never felt before with any other person. I've been kissed a lot, Obi-Wan, men seem to think that handmaidens are with the Queen to... entertain her guests. All of us have been kissed a lot, though never twice by the same man. Last night was the first time I've ever felt something beyond revulsion."
"And you want to try it again." He shook his head. "Sabé, there can be nothing between us. That kiss was a mistake, no matter how right it felt."
Her eyes widened. "You felt it too."
He nodded reluctantly. He couldn't very well deny it after that slip. "I felt something, yes. You started that kiss, though, so maybe that was the difference."
She shook her head, adamant. "No, Obi-Wan. I've kissed men before, but it's left me empty. Don't you see? Jedi or not, you can't fight whatever is bringing us together. Yet, you insist on trying. Why?"
"My code, sweet Lady." His eyes were sad, "If I break the code I could very well be thrown out of the order. And then what? What happens to Anakin? To Padmé? What happens to everything I've ever been trained to do, think and feel? It's all for nothing."
She felt as if he'd slapped her. "I'm nothing? You call me nothing?"
"No! No, you're not nothing," he grabbed her shoulders to keep her from turning away. "Sabé, you need to understand that being a Jedi is all I know, it's all I've ever known. How can I turn my back on that for anyone, no matter how tempting?"
She straightened her spine. "I understand." She stepped back, forcing him to break his hold on her and turned. Unlocking the doors she stepped back inside. She'd cry when she was alone and away from him. He'd never know how much he'd just hurt her. She'd never let on that he'd just broken her heart.
Padmé came to with the dry, warm heat swirling though the cave. "Anakin?" she cleared her throat, coughing, as her voice came out weakly. "Anakin?" she heard her call echo in the cave, and looked about. She began pushing herself to her feet, but as she began to place her weight on her wrist, pain shot through it clear through to her shoulder. It was broken. Her brow furrowed. How had she broken it?
She lay on Anakin's cloak, the fabric soft against her damaged skin. She sat up and cradled her hand against her chest, feeling the blood pounding in her ears as she looked around. Shmi lay in repose, unmoving, not breathing. Padmé remembered with a sudden flash that she was dead. Her memories of the previous night came rushing back and she gasped. The pain. The anger... Anakin! Forcing herself to her feet, and nearly falling from the speed, she looked around. Where was he?
"Anakin?" she made her way to the cave entrance and looked outside. Anakin was standing a ways away, the suns at their peak in the sky, a small brown-cloaked critter speaking with him. Padmé stumbled out of the cave, shielding her eyes from the glare of the suns. Something was wrong with him, she could feel it through their bond, but he'd closed her out.
He turned, raising one hand in greeting to her, before nodding to the little creature and beginning to walk back towards her. Her body aching from pain, she walked towards him, throwing her one good arm around his neck when he was close enough, and hugging him tightly. "Anakin."
Anakin buried his face in the curve of her neck, shaking in her grasp. *Save me Angel,* he begged silently, *Don't let me fall.*
*I'll always be here to catch you, Ani,*
He released her, tears rimming his eyes, his expression desolate, "I killed them," he whispered harshly, his tone pained, "I killed them all, Padmé. I couldn't save her. They killed her. I couldn't bear the thought of them taking you from me too... I-"
"Shhh..." she pulled him back close, hugging him again, "It's alright, Anakin," she kept her tone comforting, even as she felt the depth of his despair, his pain. He was agonizing over what he'd done, what he'd seen in himself. "You're human, Ani, we all fall sometimes."
"I'm glad they're dead,"
She closed her eyes, feeling his words like a knife as they rang true. He truly hated the Tusken Raiders for what they'd done. She couldn't blame him. Unable to think of anything else to do, she held him as he cried silent tears on her shoulder. He pulled away, reluctant to let her go. She grounded him, gave him focus. He was afraid of what would happen if he was ever separated from her.
She slid her hand downwards and gently cupped his face, looking deep into his eyes, "I love you, Anakin. I'll always be here for you."
He leaned in close and kissed her gently before pulling back, his smile weak but genuine. "I know, Angel, though why you choose me, I don't know. What would I do without you?"
Her smile was gentle, "You'd survive. Who were you talking to?"
"Jawas. Desert traders. I found us transportation."
She raised an eyebrow in inquiry and he motioned to where ten Jawas were approaching them, carrying something. "It's a speeder bike. They've got the coordinates for our ship, we can leave it there once the thing is fixed."
She nodded, "I'll go prepare your mom."
Anakin winced. She'd said it gently, but it hurt. The knowledge that he'd never again see his mom smile hurt. "No. I'll do it. You're still injured."
She grasped one of his hands in hers, their fingers linking, "We'll both do it. Come on."
Unable to argue, he allowed himself to be led back into the cave.
Several hours later, Anakin was tightening the last bolt on the ship. The speeder bike they'd acquired had shaved most of the time off their journey. Once back at the ship, he'd used a medpac on Padmé, splinting her wrist and using some hard fought for Jedi healing powers. Her back had been tended at the cave, though how he couldn't remember. He was still weak, drained from the night's exploits, and was fighting to keep his eyes open.
"Anakin, get some sleep." He looked up at Padmé. She stood in the doorway, a glass in her hand, looking at him. "You look terrible."
He turned back to the bolt and continued to tighten it. The console and panel that had blown out, the altitude controls shot, which had caused the ship to crash. He'd fought with the wires, but somehow he'd managed to jury-rig it to work. "I can't sleep right now, Padmé. I need to get my mother back to the moisture farm."
"Moisture farm?"
He nodded, sitting back at last, wiping his hands on a rag, "Yes. Before she..." he swallowed hard and tried again, "before she died, I saw pictures in her mind. She'd been happy, Padmé. Happier than she'd ever been as a slave. I think the Lars man Watto mentioned married her."
Padmé crouched next to him, extending the drink, "At least she was happy, Ani. If you won't sleep, drink this. It's concentrated and should keep you awake enough to fly."
He smiled at her gratefully before taking a sip, making a face at the strength. "Thanks. Let's get this over with."
She followed him to the cockpit and strapped herself into the co-pilot's chair. Anakin began running through the pre-flight, checking the systems carefully as Padmé was looking over their scans of the area. "Here, is this it?"
He glanced over, half standing to see her console. "No. Try looking more to the north and west, not east,"
She nodded and did as asked as he triple checked the systems. Finally he keyed the engines, feeling the ship rumble as they ignited and let a smile cross his lips. His repairs had worked. He coaxed the ship backwards from the sand, the sleek hull shedding the sand like water, before finally leveling out above. He checked the lights on the board. The landing skids were shot, but that could be worked around. He could still land. "Padmé?"
She nodded, "Give me a minute, I don't have your Jedi senses and I'm injured, remember?"
He waited impatiently before she finally sat back again, "Here?"
He glanced at the screen and nodded, "That looks close enough. Feed it into the system, would you?"
She hit a couple of buttons, "Done."
Anakin called the information up on his console and hit a few buttons, keying in the autopilot. He couldn't fly; he could barely keep his eyes open for all his determination to do it himself.
Padmé was watching him. He could feel her gaze, her concern. "I'm fine. Just tired."
She shook her head. "Sleep. If you're right, you don't want to be meeting your step-father half asleep."
The reference to his extended family brought his head up, brought him back to wakefulness, "How can I face them?"
"I'll be with you. We'll face them together. Sleep, Anakin, it will be a couple of hours at least until we get there."
He shook his head, "I want to get this over with," forcing himself to stay awake, he flipped a couple of switches and took control. Putting the ship to its maximum atmospheric power, he sped them forward. At their speed they would be at the homestead Padmé had found within a half hour. He simply wanted to get this over with and find someplace he could curl up with Padmé and talk it out of his system. He kept his deepest feelings shielded from her, kept her from knowing his fear that this would somehow continue to eat at him until he couldn't deal with it. Keeping that fear quiet, he consciously focused on the task at hand; flying towards a family he'd never known.
The ship landed carefully on the ruined struts, sinking down slowly until the belly was against the sand. Anakin rubbed the back of his neck as the engines shut down. He wasn't looking forward to meeting these people, even if they weren't the ones he'd seen in his mother's memory. Padmé's hands moved his aside and rubbed his neck for him, "Are you up for this?"
His eyes closed with a sigh, "No, but do I have a choice?"
She leaned down and gently kissed his cheek, "I would say yes, but there's a young man approaching."
Anakin's eyes flew open. Owen Lars. The name popped into his mind. The ache in his heart continued to grow as he watched the other man. He wasn't much older than Anakin, a season or two maybe, and he looked as if he'd been living here all his life. Anakin pushed himself from the chair, leading the way to the emergency hatch. Padmé followed him out, donning a cloak that would hide most of her partially healed injuries, and protect her from the sun.
Anakin took her had as she stepped out into the blazing heat. The other young man stopped a few yards away, watching them as they approached. "Can I help you stranger?"
Anakin stopped, facing the other man and squaring his shoulders, "I'm Anakin Skywalker."
Owen's face was critical, but trusting, "I had a feeling you might show up. I'm Owen Lars."
Anakin stepped forward, motioning to Padmé, "This is Padmé."
Owen nodded to her, "Are you looking for your mother?"
Anakin felt Padmé's hand around his upper arm, lending him support. "I already found her, she bade me bring her here. She's dead."
Owen's shoulder's hunched as he bowed his head. "Come inside." He said after a few moments of silence, "We need to speak with my father."
Anakin awkwardly followed the other young man down into the small homestead.
Cliegg Lars was sitting in a repulsor chair, both of his legs bandaged just above the knee. One was missing, the other looked like it had been severed but reattached. The grisly moisture farmer watched as the two young men approached, Owen's posture giving him a clue as to their strange visitors.
Owen stopped, "Dad, this is Anakin Skywalker."
Anakin stepped forward and shook the hand Cliegg extended, "Cliegg Lars."
"I was told to bring you a message, sir."
Cliegg looked at him expectantly, "From who?"
Anakin felt Padmé's hand slip into his own as he fought to find the words, "From my mother. Before she died, she asked me to tell you she was sorry."
Cliegg bowed his head, "My darling wife," he murmured softly. He lifted tear rimmed eyes to meet Anakin's piercing blue ones, "I'm sorry, son."
Anakin acknowledged his sympathy with a nod, fighting past his closed throat to speak, "Where would you bury her?"
"If you have her body son, Owen will bring her inside. We'll prepare her for burial." he raised his voice, "Beru,"
Beru Whitesun came out from the tunnel entrance to the kitchen, wiping her hands on a rag. She was alarmed when she saw their bleak faces, "Cliegg? What's the matter?"
"This is Shmi's son, Anakin. Owen's girlfriend, Beru. Anakin has retrieved Shmi's body." She nodded in understanding, tears filling her eyes as she fought not to cry. Shmi had been loved by each of them. "I'll show you to your rooms."
Anakin followed Beru, Padmé close behind, as Owen went to retrieve his step-mother's body from their craft.
Sabé sank down on her bed as the sun began to set. She was in no mood to watch the Nabooian sunset, not share the outer room with the man who'd brushed her off earlier. What had she done wrong? He wanted her, she knew that much, and yet he was fighting it. She ached for his touch, his kiss, even now. Especially now. He'd hurt her and all she wanted to do was curl up against his chest and cry. She brushed the tears off her cheek, hoping he couldn't feel her distress. She grabbed her pillow as she crawled across her bed and curled up against the headboard, her knees to her chest, hugging the fluffy headrest. How could he just reject her like she was some old shirt he didn't want? No, that wasn't accurate. He'd treated her like chattel, like she was his to do with as he pleased.
She buried her face in the pillow, hot tears leaking from her eyes even as she fought them. How could he hurt her this way? He was a Jedi, her mind whispered. That was no excuse. What gave him the right to mistreat her heart if he was a Jedi. His damn code, that's what. There is no emotion. HA! Who were they trying to fool? Everyone had emotions, even stoic Obi-Wan. Not that he ever showed anything beyond being the perfect gentleman. The prefect Jedi. They'd turned him from a man who loved to laugh and make witty remarks into the strange he was now. How dare they take the fun loving young man she remembered and destroy him? Surely that side of him was still lurking under the surface somewhere.
She grimaced. Maybe not. After this afternoon's fiasco she didn't really want to take a chance to find out. Her heart hurt too much from his words, the scars still fresh. She swallowed a sob. She didn't want him to hear her crying over him, it was the last thing he needed.
A knock on her door brought her head up and she inhaled sharply. "Yes?" She grimaced as her voice cracked.
"Are you alright, Sabé?"
"Fine. Just fine. Go away, Obi-Wan."
There was silence as she laid her head back on the pillow. A part of her wished he'd come back to make her feel better, simply to talk to her.
The thought had barely crossed her mind when he knocked again. "Sabé, could I talk to you?"
"I asked you to go away, Obi-Wan. I don't want to speak with you." She could hear his sigh as she wiped her eyes.
"I can feel your distress, lady. Please, may I come in?"
"Fine," she said peevishly, "do what you want. Invade my space, take anything you want, you will anyway."
"Sabé."
"What?"
"May I?"
Her anger drained from her, leaving her feeling numb. Even now, knowing she was hurting, he was respecting her wishes. She wiped her eyes again, and then her cheeks, fighting to erase the evidence of her crying bout. "Yes, Obi-Wan. Come in."
The door slid open and he stepped inside, just far enough to allow the door to close behind him. He looked at her, guilt surfacing. Her eyes were red, swollen, the only evidence of her tears. Yet he'd felt her pain, her distress. He knew she was hurting alot more than she let on. "I'm sorry if what I said hurt you today."
She waved one hand as if to dismiss his apology. "What makes you think that? I was silly to have entertained the notion of that simple kiss being something special. You're right, I was wrong. Forget about it, I have."
For some reason her comment stung. "Forget it? I can't."
She shrugged carelessly, "I don't see why not. It was a simple little kiss."
He took a breath, holding it briefly, before letting it out. "You know how I feel about that kiss. I told you as much."
"So? You'll never do it again, or anything beyond it. Why are we having this conversation?"
"You're being difficult, Sabé."
"And you're obtuse. I guess we're even."
He cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "I'm obtuse?"
She nodded. "You couldn't just let me off easy, let me keep my pride. Oh no, you had to go and choose your damn order, your job, above me and my feelings. Go ahead, Obi-Wan. Deny it."
He couldn't. She knew it; he knew it. "It's not just a job, Sabé, it's a part of who I am. I'm sorry I hurt you."
She glared at him for a moment before looking away. "Hurt me? You don't have the power to hurt me. I simply won't let you."
He stalked her, stopping by the bed and grabbed her by the shoulders so she had to look at him. "Don't give me that. I know what you're feeling, they're pounding at me from all sides. You have no idea what it's doing to me to feel you in pain like this."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why should I care? You don't care for me, that much is plain."
"Attachment is forbidden."
"The hell with forbidden!" She lifted one hand as if to strike him but he caught. "Anakin is attached to Padmé, why are they accepting their relationship? Why can't we have what they have?"
"They're Life-bonded, Sabé. They won't survive for long if they're parted. If one dies, the other will become a shell, half a person. I don't envy the difficult life ahead of them."
"I do." She was trapped against the headboard, Obi-Wan's face close to hers. She knew he could see her tears, the truth of her words in her eyes. "If it bound me to you, I would do it in a heartbeat."
"Why?"
"If you have to ask, Master Jedi, then you have no business being in my room. Get out."
He didn't move. "Sabé..."
"I said get out. Leave me alone. You've done enough damage, let me heal and move on."
He swallowed hard. "I know I should, but I don't want to."
"It's a little late for that, don't you think?"
His response was to slant his mouth possessively across hers, pinning her to the headboard with his body. She meant to fight him, should have fought him, but electricity was running through her veins and her heart was singing with joy. She wanted this. She wanted him. She kissed him back urgently, her hands caught in his and pinned together. His kiss was hungry, demanding and receiving her response as she began to drown in the sensations.
He tore his mouth away and backed off, getting to his feet. "If you can tell me to leave now, I'll leave."
She watched his heaving chest, her own rapidly rising and falling. Her gaze moved to his face. She saw his inner battle against his duty and his desires. She swallowed hard, turning her face away. "Please leave."
She sensed his sudden stillness. Her words were barely a whisper but he still heard her. Without a word he turned and left the room.
She turned to watch the door close, her eyes sad. She knew if he'd given in to the passion she felt in his kiss it would destroy him. It would destroy his equilibrium and, though she'd love to see him rattled, she couldn't do that to him. She could turn him from his chosen path and make him something he wasn't. He wouldn't be her Obi-Wan if she did that. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she fought against the tightness in her throat. Saying those two words to him had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.
Sabé curled up with the pillow in her arms and buried her face in the soft folds.