The Ties That Bind
Chapter 10
The 16 hours back to Naboo were short, Anakin spending them in a hard fought-for meditation, trying to come to terms with his emotions and his reactions as Padmé piloted the ship. She was on edge, her own nerves frayed and worn from the last few days. Anakin weighed heavily on her mind as she worried, quietly, about him. When she finally pulled the hyperspace levers back and the blue orb of her home planet came into view, she drew a relieved sigh. Home.
"Any word from the controller yet?"
She jumped. She hadn't heard Anakin come up behind her. Returning her earlier favor of a neck massage, his hands slid around her throat and began to gently ease the tension from her shoulders and neck. Her eyes half closed, "Mmmm. So you work miracles with your hands too?"
He chuckled softly, the first laugh she'd heard from him in awhile. She glanced up at him and blinked in surprise as he quickly stole a kiss, "We Jedi are full of surprises."
The comm. light blinked and she simply cast him a knowing look as he settled back into the pilot's seat as she flicked the switch to respond.
Anakin watched her, feeling refreshed by his immersion in the Force. He took the opportunity to study her, knowing her thoughts, knowing she knew he watched her. She quickly gained landing clearance and headed them back to the palace, casting him a small smile. He was feeling somewhat better after 16 hours of meditation, but doubts and fears still plagued him. He kept them as quiet as possible, knowing, after the last couple of days, exactly how to shield them from Padmé. He would have to teach her. Still, his lips turned in a half smile, she was pretty good at keeping whatever she didn't want him to know out of her mind. He figured he wasn't the only one who'd learned a few things these last few days.
"You've got that right,"
He jerked as they came down over the palace towards the hangar, "You weren't supposed to hear that."
She shot him a smile, "You think really loud."
He flushed as she laughed and then nodded to the controls, "Mind if I land?"
"You have a problem with letting me land the ship?"
"Well, no, it's just that with the broken gear and everything..."
"...you figure the better pilot should land the ship," she finished. She rolled her eyes and pulled her hands from the yoke. The ship dropped sharply for half a second as Anakin took control and then brought them around sharply, angling them slightly different towards the hangar.
He came in fast, hitting the ruplsor jets at the last minutes and bringing the ship to a halt directly in the middle of the hangar. In complete contradiction to his crazy maneuver of a second before, he lowered the ship down onto the broken struts, and finally to its belly with barely a sound. He cut the engines and the ship stayed where she was. He flashed Padmé an impish, boyish smile, "I never could get enough of pod racing."
She laughed, easing the tension between them and un-strapped herself from her chair. He was quick to follow, grabbing her around the waist and nodding to the window, "See who's come to greet us?"
She glanced and stopped, open-mouthed. Sabé and Obi-Wan, their hands clasped in front of them stood at the head of a small group, consisting of Master Yoda, Master Windu, Captain Typho and several other of Padmé's handmaidens. The governor was there, along with the four young women who were going to be voted for Queen. Behind them were Padmé's parents, their expressions serious.
Anakin hugged her, "Relax,"
She turned away from the window, clutching him, "They won't take you away?"
He shook his head, "They'd have to kill me, Padmé. Relax. I'll pass my trials and then we can be together."
She met his kiss halfway before pulling back reluctantly, "We shouldn't keep them waiting."
He sighed, "You go ahead, I have to grab a couple of things first."
She nodded and went to open the emergency hatch.
Padmé stepped out of the ship into a maelstrom of questions. "Wait a minute! One at a time. You first, first minister."
The stuffy little man huffed. "This is completely unlike you, your Majesty. Disappearing for days on end and passing it off as an illness! Why, if I didn't know any better-"
She cut him off with a glare. "I am still the Queen, first minister, what I do is none of your concern. However, I will answer all of your questions once I have had the chance to freshen up. Minister, the young ladies set to take my place after tonight don't need to see this. Please, they have better things to do than greet me. They need to get ready for tonight's festivities."
The minister swallowed, bowing deeply, before he and most of the dignitaries stepped away. They herded the young women back towards the exit after paying their proper respects to the present Queen. Padmé wanted only to take a nice, long bath and go to bed. That wasn't likely to happen though. She turned her smile on her parents and embraced them both. "Mom, dad, you didn't have to come."
Her mother grinned. "You don't really think we'd miss this, do you?"
Padmé shook her head, "No, I didn't really."
"You look tired, sweetie." Her father placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before stepping back, "Your mother and I will see you when you're back to being a civilian. You won't mind if we steal you for a day or two, will you?"
"Only if I can bring a friend," she replied laughing. "It's a date, I'll see you tomorrow."
Her parents hugged her and departed. Padmé turned towards her friend. "What's with the welcoming committee, Sabé?"
Sabé blushed. "The council insisted. They said we shouldn't cover for you because you're old enough to face them yourself and explain. I trust you won't be too harsh on me for it."
Padmé hugged her friend. "No." she glanced back at the ship as she inclined her head to the Jedi. What was keeping Anakin?
Anakin hung back inside the ship as the Padmé greeted their 'guests' on the landing pad, and quickly stuffed several items into his bag. He glanced at a pile of wiring and parts in the corner with a sigh. He quickly stuffed those into the bag as well, shouldering it before going to get Padmé's things. Finally he ducked out of the ship, Obi-Wan, Master Yoda, Master Windu and Sabé were the only ones left.
Obi-Wan looked at his apprentice, "Anakin."
"Master." his voice was soft, his eyes unable to meet Obi-Wan's. He was afraid of what his master might see, might judge.
"Good to have you back."
Padmé stepped next to him, lacing her fingers through his, "It's good to be back, Master Kenobi. It's been a long trip-"
"Padmé, it's your birthday, you're not thinking of sneaking off to bed, are you?"
Padmé glared at Sabé, "I was," she sighed, "What time is the celebration at?"
Sabé grabbed her other hand and dragged her off, "Just far enough away to get you done up..."
Anakin's gaze followed her as she was pulled away towards her rooms. Soon, his Padmé would be replace by Queen Amidala.
*I'm still Padmé, Ani.*
He bit back a chuckle at her pessimistic reply to his thoughts. *No, you're still an Angel.*
"Anakin."
He brought his attention back to his Master, "I'm sorry Master, what did you say?"
Obi-Wan clapped him on the shoulder, "How was your trip? Did you find your mother?"
He bowed his head, "She's dead."
"Not the only one, I feel."
All eyes went to the small, green Jedi. Yoda hobbled forward on his gimmer stick and looked up at Anakin, "A secret you hide, yes?"
Anakin inwardly winced. "I did something terrible, Master Yoda." his voice was but a whisper, "I don't think I deserve the chance to take the trials just yet."
Obi-Wan took a step back in surprise, "Pardon me? Who are you and what have you done with my apprentice?"
"I'm serious, Master," Anakin shot him a glare. "I found my mother in a Tusken Raider camp on Tatooine. They'd taken Padmé while I was unconscious in the ship," he motioned to the ruined struts, "one of the panels in the back blew out causing us to crash. My mother..." he trailed off, swallowed hard and tried again, "She died in my arms," he choked out, "I only wanted to save her, to take her away from the pain."
The Masters listened attentively to his broken words, hearing the confusion and sorrow underneath, remaining quiet.
"Padmé was in another hut and I almost lost control but she somehow kept me from going over. I felt them torture her," he had to clear his throat before he could continue, "I... snapped. I lost control and I killed them." He turned anguished eyes to Obi-Wan, silently pleading for understanding, "I killed them all, every last one. I hurt so bad, I wanted them to hurt, hurt more than what they did to my mom, than what they were about to do to Padmé."
"Unexpected this is. How feel you now, young Skywalker?"
Anakin was surprised by the soft question coming from the greatest of the Jedi Masters. "I don't know, Master Yoda. Padmé saved me from falling..." He trailed off, taking a deep breath, "if I don't take the trials today, what will happen to us?"
Mace Windu spoke for the first time, "If you don't take them today, we're here for the next week, you can take them anytime when we're here."
"I don't think I'll be ready." The admission, coming from the normally brash and impulsive young man, shocked them into silence. "I can't deal with this, I can't deal with what I've done in such a short time."
"You must, and you will." Yoda poked him with the gimmer stick, "Depends on it, your future does."
Anakin bowed his head, "Yes Master. How do I start to...?"
Yoda shook his head regretfully, "Help you, we cannot. Find your own path, you must."
He swallowed hard. "With or without Padmé."
"She won't always be there for you, Anakin," Mace's voice was soft, but held power as he spoke, "consider this your first trial. You have to work your way through this if you ever want to move beyond. Do you understand?"
Anakin nodded, "Do I have to go into seclusion for this?"
"I think it's better of you're with people, Anakin. Come to the Queen's party tonight. Attend her, as you should, but know that only you, and you alone, can pass this trial."
"Yes Master."
Obi-Wan and Anakin bowed as the other Jedi left and Anakin turned to Obi-Wan, "You must be disappointed in me."
Obi-Wan clapped him on the shoulder, "Anakin, when Qui-Gon was killed, I delved into the darkside, using my anger and pain to fight faster and better. The Sith almost got the best of me because of it. I was able to overcome the urge, and the need, and come back. So can you. It may take time, but I believe the Force will guide you."
Anakin impulsively hugged him, "Thank you, Master. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go make myself presentable for this evening's festivities."
Obi-Wan nodded and followed him out of the hangar. His Padawan had a difficult time ahead of him.
Obi-Wan stopped outside Sabé's room, raising one hand to knock, but hesitated. Would she really care after what the council had to say to him? He knocked, feeling a little foolish.
Sabé opened the door after a couple of minutes. Her hair was done up in an elaborate style that accentuated her slender neck and beautiful face. Wisps of hair touched her neck and cheeks, lending her an elegance he didn't normally see. Her gown was a deep burgundy that hugged each of her curves like a lover. He swallowed hard. How was he supposed to keep his hands to himself?
She smiled when she saw him, "Obi-Wan! What a pleasant surprise, I thought for sure you'd be with Anakin."
She motioned for him to come in and closed the door behind him before returning to her dressing table. She continued to apply a very fine coat of lip paint, watching him through the mirror.
"I came to talk to you about the council."
"Oh? Did you get the chance to talk to them?"
He nodded. "I did."
"And?"
"If your blood count shows the proper results, they'll agree."
She spun to face him, unable to hide her shock. "They will?"
He nodded. "I took the liberty of getting them access to your medical records. You don't mind, do you?"
She shook her head, mute.
"Good, I was worried you would. May I have the pleasure of escorting you to the party this evening."
She found her voice and launched herself into his arms. "Of course yes!"
He chuckled, hugging her gently before stepping back. "You realize that if I get permission to form a Life-bond with you there will be no going back?"
"I'd never want to."
He leaned down and kissed her soundly. This woman continued to amaze him. Humbled, he couldn't help but want to spend the rest of his life making her happy. Before all thoughts fled, he sent a silent prayer through the Force. Please let the council grant his request; he wasn't sure he could live without her anymore.
Chapter 10
The 16 hours back to Naboo were short, Anakin spending them in a hard fought-for meditation, trying to come to terms with his emotions and his reactions as Padmé piloted the ship. She was on edge, her own nerves frayed and worn from the last few days. Anakin weighed heavily on her mind as she worried, quietly, about him. When she finally pulled the hyperspace levers back and the blue orb of her home planet came into view, she drew a relieved sigh. Home.
"Any word from the controller yet?"
She jumped. She hadn't heard Anakin come up behind her. Returning her earlier favor of a neck massage, his hands slid around her throat and began to gently ease the tension from her shoulders and neck. Her eyes half closed, "Mmmm. So you work miracles with your hands too?"
He chuckled softly, the first laugh she'd heard from him in awhile. She glanced up at him and blinked in surprise as he quickly stole a kiss, "We Jedi are full of surprises."
The comm. light blinked and she simply cast him a knowing look as he settled back into the pilot's seat as she flicked the switch to respond.
Anakin watched her, feeling refreshed by his immersion in the Force. He took the opportunity to study her, knowing her thoughts, knowing she knew he watched her. She quickly gained landing clearance and headed them back to the palace, casting him a small smile. He was feeling somewhat better after 16 hours of meditation, but doubts and fears still plagued him. He kept them as quiet as possible, knowing, after the last couple of days, exactly how to shield them from Padmé. He would have to teach her. Still, his lips turned in a half smile, she was pretty good at keeping whatever she didn't want him to know out of her mind. He figured he wasn't the only one who'd learned a few things these last few days.
"You've got that right,"
He jerked as they came down over the palace towards the hangar, "You weren't supposed to hear that."
She shot him a smile, "You think really loud."
He flushed as she laughed and then nodded to the controls, "Mind if I land?"
"You have a problem with letting me land the ship?"
"Well, no, it's just that with the broken gear and everything..."
"...you figure the better pilot should land the ship," she finished. She rolled her eyes and pulled her hands from the yoke. The ship dropped sharply for half a second as Anakin took control and then brought them around sharply, angling them slightly different towards the hangar.
He came in fast, hitting the ruplsor jets at the last minutes and bringing the ship to a halt directly in the middle of the hangar. In complete contradiction to his crazy maneuver of a second before, he lowered the ship down onto the broken struts, and finally to its belly with barely a sound. He cut the engines and the ship stayed where she was. He flashed Padmé an impish, boyish smile, "I never could get enough of pod racing."
She laughed, easing the tension between them and un-strapped herself from her chair. He was quick to follow, grabbing her around the waist and nodding to the window, "See who's come to greet us?"
She glanced and stopped, open-mouthed. Sabé and Obi-Wan, their hands clasped in front of them stood at the head of a small group, consisting of Master Yoda, Master Windu, Captain Typho and several other of Padmé's handmaidens. The governor was there, along with the four young women who were going to be voted for Queen. Behind them were Padmé's parents, their expressions serious.
Anakin hugged her, "Relax,"
She turned away from the window, clutching him, "They won't take you away?"
He shook his head, "They'd have to kill me, Padmé. Relax. I'll pass my trials and then we can be together."
She met his kiss halfway before pulling back reluctantly, "We shouldn't keep them waiting."
He sighed, "You go ahead, I have to grab a couple of things first."
She nodded and went to open the emergency hatch.
Padmé stepped out of the ship into a maelstrom of questions. "Wait a minute! One at a time. You first, first minister."
The stuffy little man huffed. "This is completely unlike you, your Majesty. Disappearing for days on end and passing it off as an illness! Why, if I didn't know any better-"
She cut him off with a glare. "I am still the Queen, first minister, what I do is none of your concern. However, I will answer all of your questions once I have had the chance to freshen up. Minister, the young ladies set to take my place after tonight don't need to see this. Please, they have better things to do than greet me. They need to get ready for tonight's festivities."
The minister swallowed, bowing deeply, before he and most of the dignitaries stepped away. They herded the young women back towards the exit after paying their proper respects to the present Queen. Padmé wanted only to take a nice, long bath and go to bed. That wasn't likely to happen though. She turned her smile on her parents and embraced them both. "Mom, dad, you didn't have to come."
Her mother grinned. "You don't really think we'd miss this, do you?"
Padmé shook her head, "No, I didn't really."
"You look tired, sweetie." Her father placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before stepping back, "Your mother and I will see you when you're back to being a civilian. You won't mind if we steal you for a day or two, will you?"
"Only if I can bring a friend," she replied laughing. "It's a date, I'll see you tomorrow."
Her parents hugged her and departed. Padmé turned towards her friend. "What's with the welcoming committee, Sabé?"
Sabé blushed. "The council insisted. They said we shouldn't cover for you because you're old enough to face them yourself and explain. I trust you won't be too harsh on me for it."
Padmé hugged her friend. "No." she glanced back at the ship as she inclined her head to the Jedi. What was keeping Anakin?
Anakin hung back inside the ship as the Padmé greeted their 'guests' on the landing pad, and quickly stuffed several items into his bag. He glanced at a pile of wiring and parts in the corner with a sigh. He quickly stuffed those into the bag as well, shouldering it before going to get Padmé's things. Finally he ducked out of the ship, Obi-Wan, Master Yoda, Master Windu and Sabé were the only ones left.
Obi-Wan looked at his apprentice, "Anakin."
"Master." his voice was soft, his eyes unable to meet Obi-Wan's. He was afraid of what his master might see, might judge.
"Good to have you back."
Padmé stepped next to him, lacing her fingers through his, "It's good to be back, Master Kenobi. It's been a long trip-"
"Padmé, it's your birthday, you're not thinking of sneaking off to bed, are you?"
Padmé glared at Sabé, "I was," she sighed, "What time is the celebration at?"
Sabé grabbed her other hand and dragged her off, "Just far enough away to get you done up..."
Anakin's gaze followed her as she was pulled away towards her rooms. Soon, his Padmé would be replace by Queen Amidala.
*I'm still Padmé, Ani.*
He bit back a chuckle at her pessimistic reply to his thoughts. *No, you're still an Angel.*
"Anakin."
He brought his attention back to his Master, "I'm sorry Master, what did you say?"
Obi-Wan clapped him on the shoulder, "How was your trip? Did you find your mother?"
He bowed his head, "She's dead."
"Not the only one, I feel."
All eyes went to the small, green Jedi. Yoda hobbled forward on his gimmer stick and looked up at Anakin, "A secret you hide, yes?"
Anakin inwardly winced. "I did something terrible, Master Yoda." his voice was but a whisper, "I don't think I deserve the chance to take the trials just yet."
Obi-Wan took a step back in surprise, "Pardon me? Who are you and what have you done with my apprentice?"
"I'm serious, Master," Anakin shot him a glare. "I found my mother in a Tusken Raider camp on Tatooine. They'd taken Padmé while I was unconscious in the ship," he motioned to the ruined struts, "one of the panels in the back blew out causing us to crash. My mother..." he trailed off, swallowed hard and tried again, "She died in my arms," he choked out, "I only wanted to save her, to take her away from the pain."
The Masters listened attentively to his broken words, hearing the confusion and sorrow underneath, remaining quiet.
"Padmé was in another hut and I almost lost control but she somehow kept me from going over. I felt them torture her," he had to clear his throat before he could continue, "I... snapped. I lost control and I killed them." He turned anguished eyes to Obi-Wan, silently pleading for understanding, "I killed them all, every last one. I hurt so bad, I wanted them to hurt, hurt more than what they did to my mom, than what they were about to do to Padmé."
"Unexpected this is. How feel you now, young Skywalker?"
Anakin was surprised by the soft question coming from the greatest of the Jedi Masters. "I don't know, Master Yoda. Padmé saved me from falling..." He trailed off, taking a deep breath, "if I don't take the trials today, what will happen to us?"
Mace Windu spoke for the first time, "If you don't take them today, we're here for the next week, you can take them anytime when we're here."
"I don't think I'll be ready." The admission, coming from the normally brash and impulsive young man, shocked them into silence. "I can't deal with this, I can't deal with what I've done in such a short time."
"You must, and you will." Yoda poked him with the gimmer stick, "Depends on it, your future does."
Anakin bowed his head, "Yes Master. How do I start to...?"
Yoda shook his head regretfully, "Help you, we cannot. Find your own path, you must."
He swallowed hard. "With or without Padmé."
"She won't always be there for you, Anakin," Mace's voice was soft, but held power as he spoke, "consider this your first trial. You have to work your way through this if you ever want to move beyond. Do you understand?"
Anakin nodded, "Do I have to go into seclusion for this?"
"I think it's better of you're with people, Anakin. Come to the Queen's party tonight. Attend her, as you should, but know that only you, and you alone, can pass this trial."
"Yes Master."
Obi-Wan and Anakin bowed as the other Jedi left and Anakin turned to Obi-Wan, "You must be disappointed in me."
Obi-Wan clapped him on the shoulder, "Anakin, when Qui-Gon was killed, I delved into the darkside, using my anger and pain to fight faster and better. The Sith almost got the best of me because of it. I was able to overcome the urge, and the need, and come back. So can you. It may take time, but I believe the Force will guide you."
Anakin impulsively hugged him, "Thank you, Master. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go make myself presentable for this evening's festivities."
Obi-Wan nodded and followed him out of the hangar. His Padawan had a difficult time ahead of him.
Obi-Wan stopped outside Sabé's room, raising one hand to knock, but hesitated. Would she really care after what the council had to say to him? He knocked, feeling a little foolish.
Sabé opened the door after a couple of minutes. Her hair was done up in an elaborate style that accentuated her slender neck and beautiful face. Wisps of hair touched her neck and cheeks, lending her an elegance he didn't normally see. Her gown was a deep burgundy that hugged each of her curves like a lover. He swallowed hard. How was he supposed to keep his hands to himself?
She smiled when she saw him, "Obi-Wan! What a pleasant surprise, I thought for sure you'd be with Anakin."
She motioned for him to come in and closed the door behind him before returning to her dressing table. She continued to apply a very fine coat of lip paint, watching him through the mirror.
"I came to talk to you about the council."
"Oh? Did you get the chance to talk to them?"
He nodded. "I did."
"And?"
"If your blood count shows the proper results, they'll agree."
She spun to face him, unable to hide her shock. "They will?"
He nodded. "I took the liberty of getting them access to your medical records. You don't mind, do you?"
She shook her head, mute.
"Good, I was worried you would. May I have the pleasure of escorting you to the party this evening."
She found her voice and launched herself into his arms. "Of course yes!"
He chuckled, hugging her gently before stepping back. "You realize that if I get permission to form a Life-bond with you there will be no going back?"
"I'd never want to."
He leaned down and kissed her soundly. This woman continued to amaze him. Humbled, he couldn't help but want to spend the rest of his life making her happy. Before all thoughts fled, he sent a silent prayer through the Force. Please let the council grant his request; he wasn't sure he could live without her anymore.