Family Matters Chapter 13
She was back, she had a pulse, I jus' hope this time it lasts. I hope this time she doesn't slip away again. I walk over to her bed side and again I take her hand. It's so little, so boney, still somewhat lifeless. I give her hand a squeeze to let her know I'm there. "I love you baby. I'm glad you decided not to leave me." I tell her as I kiss her softly, an' I feel her squeeze my hand back. Its weak, but she still squeezes it. I turn 'round an' look out the window. I see my Ma standin' there. Lieu. Sewrksy and Sgt. Christopher are there. Guess Lieu couldn't find anyone else to drive for him. I kiss her hand. "I'll be back Hun. Mommy's here okay, I'm sure she wants to see you." I say kissin' her hand once more, gently puttin' it on her chest.
I walk into the hall and my Ma falls into my arms.
"Oh Maurice." She says cryin'. "My baby."
I hold and comfort my Mom, I look over at Faith. "She's goin' to be okay Ma, is ya wanna ya can go see her." I tell her pulling her in front of me an' lookin' at her. She nods.
I watch her walk into my sisters room an' sit down next to her.
"How is she Bos?" Faith asks me. Alex, Lieu, and Sgt. Christopher, standin' behind her.
I look back towards her room. "She's not outta the woods yet. She's sick, real sick." I look at Faith. "I almost lost her Faith, I almost my little brat."
"Is she going to pull through?" Lieu asks me while Christopher stands behind him, lookin' down at the floor.
"I hope. They have a pulse, it's pretty strong this time. Which is a good thing." I look at Faith. "Right."
"Real good Bos. She's strong she's got a lot of you in her, she'll pull through."
"Thanks Faith." I say still not to sure.
"We better get back to the station." Kim says. "She's going to be fine Bosco, she's a fighter." She says putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
I just nod. "Yea, she is." I look back to her room. My Ma's still sittin' in there with Mercedes. A Tube is down her throat, helpin' her breath. I sigh as I walk over to a row of chairs. I sit down an' put my head in my hands. Faith sits next to me.
"You two the rest of the shift off, Bosco you can have the rest of the week off. Family comes first." Sewrksy says.
"Thanks Boss I say with out lookin' up. I feel Faith rub my shoulders.
He quietly walks away, as I look over at Faith. "This is it Faith, I can't do this by myself, I'm gettin' her help. Real help. I ain't lettin' her die. Seein' her like that. Tore me apart Faith. She's my world, an' I almost lost her. I could still lose her. It's still not over yet." I say my eyes filled with tears. "Faith I love her -so- much, this hurts -so- much seein' her this bad." I look up to see Mikey bust through the doors. He sees me an' assumes the worst.
"She's not?" He asks.
I shake my head. "She still alive, barely though. Ma's in there with her now. How'd ya find out."
"Ma called me, said you called her and told her Love was sick. She said you sounded, like it was real bad, so she called." I can see he had been cryin' but was tryin' to hide it from me.
I could see Mikey was tryin' not to cry. I know he loves her, even though he has his problems. She's his sister too, "She almost died, stop breathin' 3 times, an' for a while. It was lookin' like she was gone. If ya want I'm sure Ma will let ya see her. She's in room 5." I watch him walk over to her room an' stand outside for a little. He puts his hand on the glass as he watches in. I can see a few tears escape his eyes. Now I worry, I worry how much more this is goin' to throw Mikey off the deep end. That he's goin' to sink deeper into drugs. Now I have to watch after Mikey, make sure he doesn't do anythin' stupid, but still watch after Mercedes, make sure I get her help. I don't care how much money it takes, I'm goin' to save her.
My Ma comes out and Mikey goes into Mercedes room. I can see my Ma's red puffy eyes. She lays her head on my shoulder an' cries. Says nothin' she jus' cries. I comfort her along with faith. "She's goin' to be fine Ma, she's like me, even ya said so. She'll pull though this an' before ya know it she'll be back at work givin' ya hell." I tell her tryin' to reassure her, an' myself. I'm not even sure if what I jus' said is true. If she'll be back at work. I'm no doctor but I can tell she's still bad, she still - could die.
I hear Mikey come out. "She's wakin' up" He yells. "Love's wakin' up." I smiled. He always called her by her middle name when he was younger an' still till this day you'll catch him sayin' her middle name. I stand up as watch doctors rush into her room. They pull out the tub from her throat and place mask over her face, Mikey looks at me.
"You should go in Mo, I know Love will be askin' for you. So go." He nods, as I slowly walk to her room. She so weak she can't even hold up her own head. I swallow hard before I walk into her room. She slowly turns her head to me, an' manages to crack a small smile. "Mo...." She says weakly.
"Hey b-brat." I say tryin' to keep my emotions together. I pull a chair up next to her bed an' once again I find her hand in mine. I squeeze it, an' she some how find what little strength she has in her little body to squeeze mine back. That squeeze never felt so good, I never thought 'till that moment that a weak, little squeeze like that, could feel like the strongest to me. I push the hair outta my sisters eyes. "How ya feelin' Hun?"
She look at me. "M-my head hurts like hell." She speaks, softly, in almost a wispher.
"Yea, well ya hit it pretty hard, got some stiches to show for it too. Better becareful an' not hit ya head again, only have 2 brain cells left." I joke with her. Gently rubbin' the top of her hand.
"Funny Mo, ya real funny." She closes her eyes and I see tears fall.
"Hun why ya cryin'?" I ask.
"I'll let ya down, I'm sorry Mo. Ya know I t-though I could handle this. I thought this was the one thin' I c-could control. I couldn't control what happen when I was a kid. I couldn't control Dad locking me in the closet."
I listen to her, I see her pain. Pain she's been bottlin' up all her life, an' now it all comes out. I squeeze her hand lightly and listen some more.
"I couldn't control you leavin' to become a Ranger, couldn't control all them times ya was shot at work an' could'a died." She sniffled as some more tears fell. "An' I couldn't control 9-11, an' the fact ya could'a died them. How I waited by that phone for ya to call, I waited an' I waited, an' I waited Mo. I didn't think Ya was going to call. I thought I lost ya for good. But eatin' was somethin' I thought I could control, an' at fist I thought I had it, I thought I k-knew what I was d-doin' an' I messed up Mo. I messed up an' I let ya down. I've let ya down so many times."
"Shhhhhh Merceds; no ya didn't let me down. You've never let me down Hun. Name one time ya let me down?" I ask her.
She looks away from me. "I never finished school, I never went back."
I shake my head and run my hand through her brittle hair. "No Mercedes, ya didn't let me down. Ya didn't let me down. Ya never have. If anyone let anybody down. It was me, I let ya down. I should'a helped ya more, should'a helped ya before it got this bad. I'm ya brother an' I should'a done somethin'. I let ya down."
"Mo no, ya didn't let me down. Ya the best brother a girl could ask for. I should have come to ya sooner. I knew jus' how bad I was, but I was in denial." She looked at me with tired eyes, as she yawned. "Mo, don't leave me, stay. Please."
"I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm not goin' anywhere anytime soon." I say as I kiss her forehead. I sit there an' I watch her sleep, still holdin' on to her hand. I'm not lettin' go. Not this time. Now that I have her back, now that I know my prayers were answered, I'm not lettin' go.
She was back, she had a pulse, I jus' hope this time it lasts. I hope this time she doesn't slip away again. I walk over to her bed side and again I take her hand. It's so little, so boney, still somewhat lifeless. I give her hand a squeeze to let her know I'm there. "I love you baby. I'm glad you decided not to leave me." I tell her as I kiss her softly, an' I feel her squeeze my hand back. Its weak, but she still squeezes it. I turn 'round an' look out the window. I see my Ma standin' there. Lieu. Sewrksy and Sgt. Christopher are there. Guess Lieu couldn't find anyone else to drive for him. I kiss her hand. "I'll be back Hun. Mommy's here okay, I'm sure she wants to see you." I say kissin' her hand once more, gently puttin' it on her chest.
I walk into the hall and my Ma falls into my arms.
"Oh Maurice." She says cryin'. "My baby."
I hold and comfort my Mom, I look over at Faith. "She's goin' to be okay Ma, is ya wanna ya can go see her." I tell her pulling her in front of me an' lookin' at her. She nods.
I watch her walk into my sisters room an' sit down next to her.
"How is she Bos?" Faith asks me. Alex, Lieu, and Sgt. Christopher, standin' behind her.
I look back towards her room. "She's not outta the woods yet. She's sick, real sick." I look at Faith. "I almost lost her Faith, I almost my little brat."
"Is she going to pull through?" Lieu asks me while Christopher stands behind him, lookin' down at the floor.
"I hope. They have a pulse, it's pretty strong this time. Which is a good thing." I look at Faith. "Right."
"Real good Bos. She's strong she's got a lot of you in her, she'll pull through."
"Thanks Faith." I say still not to sure.
"We better get back to the station." Kim says. "She's going to be fine Bosco, she's a fighter." She says putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
I just nod. "Yea, she is." I look back to her room. My Ma's still sittin' in there with Mercedes. A Tube is down her throat, helpin' her breath. I sigh as I walk over to a row of chairs. I sit down an' put my head in my hands. Faith sits next to me.
"You two the rest of the shift off, Bosco you can have the rest of the week off. Family comes first." Sewrksy says.
"Thanks Boss I say with out lookin' up. I feel Faith rub my shoulders.
He quietly walks away, as I look over at Faith. "This is it Faith, I can't do this by myself, I'm gettin' her help. Real help. I ain't lettin' her die. Seein' her like that. Tore me apart Faith. She's my world, an' I almost lost her. I could still lose her. It's still not over yet." I say my eyes filled with tears. "Faith I love her -so- much, this hurts -so- much seein' her this bad." I look up to see Mikey bust through the doors. He sees me an' assumes the worst.
"She's not?" He asks.
I shake my head. "She still alive, barely though. Ma's in there with her now. How'd ya find out."
"Ma called me, said you called her and told her Love was sick. She said you sounded, like it was real bad, so she called." I can see he had been cryin' but was tryin' to hide it from me.
I could see Mikey was tryin' not to cry. I know he loves her, even though he has his problems. She's his sister too, "She almost died, stop breathin' 3 times, an' for a while. It was lookin' like she was gone. If ya want I'm sure Ma will let ya see her. She's in room 5." I watch him walk over to her room an' stand outside for a little. He puts his hand on the glass as he watches in. I can see a few tears escape his eyes. Now I worry, I worry how much more this is goin' to throw Mikey off the deep end. That he's goin' to sink deeper into drugs. Now I have to watch after Mikey, make sure he doesn't do anythin' stupid, but still watch after Mercedes, make sure I get her help. I don't care how much money it takes, I'm goin' to save her.
My Ma comes out and Mikey goes into Mercedes room. I can see my Ma's red puffy eyes. She lays her head on my shoulder an' cries. Says nothin' she jus' cries. I comfort her along with faith. "She's goin' to be fine Ma, she's like me, even ya said so. She'll pull though this an' before ya know it she'll be back at work givin' ya hell." I tell her tryin' to reassure her, an' myself. I'm not even sure if what I jus' said is true. If she'll be back at work. I'm no doctor but I can tell she's still bad, she still - could die.
I hear Mikey come out. "She's wakin' up" He yells. "Love's wakin' up." I smiled. He always called her by her middle name when he was younger an' still till this day you'll catch him sayin' her middle name. I stand up as watch doctors rush into her room. They pull out the tub from her throat and place mask over her face, Mikey looks at me.
"You should go in Mo, I know Love will be askin' for you. So go." He nods, as I slowly walk to her room. She so weak she can't even hold up her own head. I swallow hard before I walk into her room. She slowly turns her head to me, an' manages to crack a small smile. "Mo...." She says weakly.
"Hey b-brat." I say tryin' to keep my emotions together. I pull a chair up next to her bed an' once again I find her hand in mine. I squeeze it, an' she some how find what little strength she has in her little body to squeeze mine back. That squeeze never felt so good, I never thought 'till that moment that a weak, little squeeze like that, could feel like the strongest to me. I push the hair outta my sisters eyes. "How ya feelin' Hun?"
She look at me. "M-my head hurts like hell." She speaks, softly, in almost a wispher.
"Yea, well ya hit it pretty hard, got some stiches to show for it too. Better becareful an' not hit ya head again, only have 2 brain cells left." I joke with her. Gently rubbin' the top of her hand.
"Funny Mo, ya real funny." She closes her eyes and I see tears fall.
"Hun why ya cryin'?" I ask.
"I'll let ya down, I'm sorry Mo. Ya know I t-though I could handle this. I thought this was the one thin' I c-could control. I couldn't control what happen when I was a kid. I couldn't control Dad locking me in the closet."
I listen to her, I see her pain. Pain she's been bottlin' up all her life, an' now it all comes out. I squeeze her hand lightly and listen some more.
"I couldn't control you leavin' to become a Ranger, couldn't control all them times ya was shot at work an' could'a died." She sniffled as some more tears fell. "An' I couldn't control 9-11, an' the fact ya could'a died them. How I waited by that phone for ya to call, I waited an' I waited, an' I waited Mo. I didn't think Ya was going to call. I thought I lost ya for good. But eatin' was somethin' I thought I could control, an' at fist I thought I had it, I thought I k-knew what I was d-doin' an' I messed up Mo. I messed up an' I let ya down. I've let ya down so many times."
"Shhhhhh Merceds; no ya didn't let me down. You've never let me down Hun. Name one time ya let me down?" I ask her.
She looks away from me. "I never finished school, I never went back."
I shake my head and run my hand through her brittle hair. "No Mercedes, ya didn't let me down. Ya didn't let me down. Ya never have. If anyone let anybody down. It was me, I let ya down. I should'a helped ya more, should'a helped ya before it got this bad. I'm ya brother an' I should'a done somethin'. I let ya down."
"Mo no, ya didn't let me down. Ya the best brother a girl could ask for. I should have come to ya sooner. I knew jus' how bad I was, but I was in denial." She looked at me with tired eyes, as she yawned. "Mo, don't leave me, stay. Please."
"I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm not goin' anywhere anytime soon." I say as I kiss her forehead. I sit there an' I watch her sleep, still holdin' on to her hand. I'm not lettin' go. Not this time. Now that I have her back, now that I know my prayers were answered, I'm not lettin' go.