Spectral's Evil and Insane Zoids Themed Talk Show Type Show
By, Spectral
Insanity comes in many forms this is one of the more pleasant ones…
Disclaimer: Spectral doesn't own zoids or its characters. He owns this story and its plot but not Zoids or it characters.
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Mr. Censor: Live from a studio somewhere in Limbo, it's Spectral's Zoid Themed Talk Show! Here's your host, Spectral!
Spectral appeared in a cloud of smoke. The audience applauded. Spectral tried to quiet them but they wouldn't stop. He tried again with no progress. The audience quickly became silent when Spectral pulled a flamethrower out of subspace.
Spectral: Thank you, thank you. Well I've come up with some sort of talk show-like show. It will feature Zoids characters from all three series, some zoid battles, zombies, explosions, maniacal laughter, insanity, and some other zoid related stuff that I'll make up as we go along. That sound good?
Audience: Yes!
One guy in Audience: No!
Spectral: *picks up new bazooka/ smoke discharger that was a gift from Becbet (thanks for the weapon!)* I've had just about enough of you.
BOOM
Spectral walked over to his desk and sat down. The control panel opened and Spectral turned to the crowd.
Spectral: Today we have two guests that will cause a lot of trouble. Leon…
Audience: *cheers*
Spectral: and Raven.
Audience: *more and louder cheers*
Spectral: Now… to keep you from harming them or me, especially me, we've stepped up security. Mr. Censor, if you will…
Mr. Censor threw a watermelon out in front of the audience. Suddenly there was a swarm of robots that flew from the shadows and blasted the melon to dust. The robots then sink back into the darkness.
Spectral: Those were my new A-Series Security Robots. They should keep things in order. Now it's time to bring out our first guest…Leon.
Audience: *Cheers*
Spectral: *eyes glow*
Audience: *silence*
Two heavily armed robots opened the studio door and screams and cannon fire were heard. Two more robots carried a box in and flew it to the stage. A rabid fan-girl armed with a sigh rushed in and ran towards the stage. The robots tried to stop her but she just kept trying to get to the stage. Suddenly she was blasted out the door. The robots immediately slammed and locked the door. Spectral lowered his smoking hand and sat back down.
Spectral: Having energy blasts is a good thing. I suppose Leon's in the box.
Mr. Censor: Yep.
Spectral: *opens box* Hello.
Leon: *steps out of box and sits down in chair next to Spectral's desk* Hi.
Spectral: The first question we have for you is from HealerAriel. Her question is:
"Do you think Bit and your little sister have a "thing"? If so, would you approve of it? If you wouldn't, how would you hide his body?"
Leon: Of course they do, and I approve of that…but I would hide his body at the bottom of the ocean…*shifty glance*
Spectral: Okaaaay…the next question is from…*looks at card*… Shiro Amayagi. He (assuming you're a guy) wants to know "Why do fan-girls stalk you if you really don't have any power as a pilot?"
Leon: Besides the fact that they can't get enough of me…I am a good pilot! The Blade Liger wouldn't let me pilot it if I wasn't.
Spectral: Very well. The next question is from *gasp* Fire Fox *pauses for dramatic music*. She wants to know how you keep your hair that way.
Leon: Believe it or not but it stays this way on its own.
Spectral: Shocking. The next question is from… Shadowfox-b4k4. He(assuming you're a guy) what's to know if Leena tormented you when you were growing up.
Leon: Of course she did. One time when I was in high school, she let all the girls from my math class in the bathroom just as I was getting out of the shower.
Audience: *cheers and disappointed sounds because they weren't there*
Spectral: *glowing*
Audience: *silent*
Leon: And another time
she rigged my door so it would explode when I opened it.
Spectral: Ouch…well the next
question is from plink. She wants to know…"Is it true
that you found Leena in a dumpster and felt sorry for her so you raised her?
How in hell did you meet your wife, and did she leave you or did she die
because one of your stupid 'investments' fell on her or something?"
Leon: What? Leena's my sister and I've never been married…
Audience: *cheers*
Fan-Girlfromaudience: *jumps on stage and runs toward Leon* Marry me!
BOOM
The dust clears and the robots scoop the dust off the stage. Spectral sets the laser cannon back down on his desk and turns to Leon.
Spectral: That was close…well. That's it for the questions. We'll see ya next time Leon.
Leon: Okay. Bye.
A dimensional portal opens and Leon falls through it. Spectral turns to the disappointed audience.
Spectral: Why so disappointed? Raven will be here after this commercial break.
Audience: *cheers and fan-girl squeals*
Spectral: SILENCE!
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New from Spectral Inc.
Tired of those annoying fan-girls? Do they hunt you day and night? Well We have a solution to your problem! The new fan-girl bait 3006 ½ ! Just program it with who you are and set it on its way! It will bash you to next Thursday. That should keep those fan-girls busy until you can escape!
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Spectral: We're back. This next segment could contain some not nice things so reader discretion is advised. Here's Raven!
A portal opened up and Raven was dropped in a chair next to Spectral's desk.
Audience: *screams and cheers*
Spectral: *Death Glare*
Audience: *silent*
Spectral: That's better. Hi Raven. We've got a ton of question for you so here's the first one. It's from… *looks at card*…HealerAriel. She wants to know "is all of your rage secretly caused by pent up sexual frustration? And if it is, can I help you ease that frustration? ^_~"
Raven: No.
Spectral: Is that
all you're going to say?
Raven: Yes.
Spectral: Very well. The next question is from…Shiro Amayagi who wants to know why you let Hiltz blow up Shadow.
Raven: I didn't let him do anything. He caught me off guard. I'll kill him for that. And you too if you ask me that question again. And I'll get you too!*points at Spectral*
Spectral: Go ahead and try. The next question is from …Fire Fox.
Raven: Not her…
Spectral: She wants to know what happened at the Zoid Eve. Well seeing as how Cartoon Network didn't show us the remaining episodes…go check out my Chaos Demon fic for the answer. The next question would be from… Prozen and Plink.
Prozen wants you to pick up milk on the way home and Plink wants to know why you haven't killed Riece and Specular yet.
Raven: I'll kill them after the show. And once I find Shadow…
Spectral: Chapter 5. The next question is also from Plink. She wants to know if you're related to Vega.
Raven: Who?
Spectral: That works. The next question is from… Mistress of All Worlds. She wants to know… "Why are you always so moody and trying to kill Van? Do you like Reese because a lot of fanfic writers pair you up with her? Are you single?"
Raven: I hate Van! He must die. I hate Riece too. And yes I am single but that's none of your business!
Spectral: That's the last question from them… I have a question though…
Raven: Then ask it.
Spectral: What would you do if an army of Fan-Girls was about to break down the door?
Raven: ? *turns around*
Suddenly the lights go out. There's an evil cackling and the lights go back on. Hundreds of fan-girls led by Fire Fox are invading the studio. Raven jumps behind his chair and Spectral stands up.
Spectral: ROBOTS! Stop them!
The robots rush forward and open fire but are pushed back by the fan-girls.
Spectral: *glowing* Time to end this myself…STARBURST CANNON!
All he fan-girls except Fire Fox were blown from the studio. Raven jumped into a dimensional portal and Fire Fox followed.
Spectral: Well…that could be a problem…oh well… next time on our show well have Shadow and Karl Shubatlz. See ya next time!
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Next Time:
Shadow and Karl Shubaltz