Spectral's Evil and Insane Zoids Themed Talk Show Type Show

By, Spectral

Insanity comes in many forms this is one of the more pleasant ones…

Disclaimer: Spectral doesn't own zoids or its characters. He owns this story and its plot but not Zoids or it characters.

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Mr. Censor: Live from a studio somewhere in Limbo, it's Spectral's Zoid Themed Talk Show! Here's your host, Spectral!

            Spectral appeared in a cloud of smoke. The audience applauded. Spectral tried to quiet them but they wouldn't stop. He tried again with no progress. The audience quickly became silent when Spectral pulled a flamethrower out of subspace.

Spectral: Thank you, thank you. Well I've come up with some sort of talk show-like show. It will feature Zoids characters from all three series, some zoid battles, zombies, explosions, maniacal laughter, insanity, and some other zoid related stuff that I'll make up as we go along. That sound good?

Audience: Yes!

One guy in Audience: No!

Spectral: Dezlagrate…mory-tempe…et Intervalia!

            The guys disappeared in a ball of flames and the audience was confused.

Spectral: So I know a little Latin…

            Spectral walked over to his desk and sat down. The control panel opened and several buttons and switched were revealed.

Spectral: Yet another show for the anti-fan-girl robots to be on patrol. Our guests today are Shadow and Karl Shubaltz.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *holds up scythe*

Audience: *silence*

Spectral: Before I bring out one of them…I have some questions to answer.

Mr. Censor: Yep. Here's the first one. It's from No Stereotype. She wants to know when Van and Bit will be on the show.

Spectral: For Bit, check back CH7. For Van…well…we'll see…

Mr. Censor: Unknown made a comment about what you said about Zoids and Cartoon Network.

Spectral: Well I'd hate to tell you but Cartoon Network will probably never show what happens next. They made no error. They just start the series over from there. If you want to know what happens, e-mail me a request and I'll tell you. I have the Japanese episodes on DVD.

Mr. Censor: Schala85 wants to know if you'll accept guests.

Spectral: Sorry, but we're booked for guests. Maybe next season.

Mr. Censor: That's all.

Spectral: Then bring out our first guest…Karl Shubaltz!

            A platform rises from the ground with Karl and a box on it.  Karl picked up the box and walked over to his chair. He sat down and put the box on Spectral's desk.

Spectral: Hello. What's in the box?

Karl: You'll see.

Spectral: Okay. The first question is from…HealerAriel. She says "You are so much cuter than your dorky brother, Thomas. You got the good genes, didn't you?"

Karl: Thank you for the compliment but please don't pick on my little brother.

Spectral: Yeah. Leave Thomas alone. You can bash him Ch8! Our next question is from oh no…Biowolf *Dramatic music*. She wants to know…"If one train left New York at 2:00 pm western heading west at 300mph and another train left San Francisco at 3:00 pm eastern heading east at 50mph then how long would it take Superman to spread peanut butter over the state of Texas with the help of 500 old women using butter knives?"

Karl: I'd say about an hour or so…

Spectral: Well I'd say never since I already coated the state of Texas with rabid dogs made of Kryptonite! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *evil music and lightning* Okay. Our next question is from BecBet. She wants to know… "How can you live with Thomas? If he was my brother I'd be whacking him a tennis racket every five minutes."

Karl: Leave my brother alone. He isn't that annoying!

Spectral: Our next question is from Sick Little Fiend. She (assuming you're a girl) wants your hat.

Karl: *reaches into box and pulls out a pen* Okay.

            Karl pulled one of his hats out of the box, autographed it and the turned to Spectral.

Karl: How do I get it to her?

Spectral: ZOMBIES!

            Several zombies rose from the ground and walked over to Spectral's desk.

Spectral: *gives hat to zombie* Bring this hat to Sick Little Fiend!

            The zombies turned and walked through a dimensional portal.

Spectral: The next question is from Schala85. She wants to know…" How'd he become so dang hot!? And would he go out with me? Please? And...what's the best part of firing the Gravity Cannon?"

Karl: Thanks for the compliment, sorry but no, and the Gravity Cannon is all around fun for the whole family.

Spectral: Ah ha…well the next question is from …*looks at card* Fire Fox. *pause for dramatic music* She wants to know what it's like to be the first person to fire the Gravity Cannon.

Karl: It's energizing to fire such a large and powerful weapon.

Spectral: The next question's from Dragon Valor. He wants to know "are you related to Bit? Do you like your brother? will you take my older brother for a day or more?? he's only 18!!

Karl: Who? , yes, and no.

Spectral: Simple enough…the next question's from plink. She (assuming you're a girl) wants to know…"How do you feel about the Japanese obsession of Karl x Thomas? Your own brother? Odd I know, but true...

Karl: I think I'll choose to NOT answer that one…

Spectral: Hiding something?

Karl: *red* NO!

Spectral: Well, we'll just have to ask Thomas when he's on the show. The next question is from…Mistress of All World. She wants to know…"Do you like your brother? Why did you join the army? What was the scariest moment in your life? Are you single?"

Karl: Yes, I joined the army because all Shubaltzes have joined the Imperial Army, The scariest moment of my life was when I was being controlled by that Riece woman…, and I won't answer that question…

Spectral: Ah ha…The next questions are from the Hog of Hedges. He (assuming that you are a guy) wants to know where you got your hat and what it was like making things go boom with the Gravity Cannon.

Karl: I got my hat from the Imperial Hat Maker in Guygalos and I already answered your second question.

Spectral: The last questions come from Shiro Amayagi. He wants to know…"how do you deal with Thomas all the time and do you love Fiona too?"

Karl: I have several bits of information that Thomas really doesn't want anyone to know. So that keeps him in line, and …no.

Spectral: Ah ha. Well that's all the questions….

Karl: Before I go I'd like to give the Audience some hats.

Spectral: Very well…*pushes button*

            The hat box disappeared and the hats magically reappeared on the heads of everyone in the audience.


Spectral: Go hang out back stage. We'll call you back a little later.

Karl: Okay.

Spectral: We'll be back after this commercial break.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *cracks knuckles*

Audience: *silence*

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E-307: This is a test of the emergency broadcast system…

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

E-307: This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system. If this had been a real emergency, you'd all be on fire. Thank you.

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Spectral: And…we're back.

Mr. Censor: The next guest is here…

Spectral: Send him in then! Here's Shadow!

            Shadow crashes through a window and sits in a chair next to Spectral's desk. The window reforms and the translator machine appears.

Spectral: Hi Shadow!

Shadow: Hello.

Spectral: The first question is from HealerAriel. She says…"Shadow: You're so cute! But anyway, what's it like living with an evil, psychotic hottie like Raven? Does it hurt your feelings that he bosses you around all the time? Do you want to come live with me then, and be my special friend? I'm a lot nicer than Raven. He wouldn't even answer my question... *pouts*"

Shadow: Living with Raven is fun. There's always something new to destroy. He can boss me around all he wants but if he goes too far, I'll just release a certain set of photos to the public.

Spectral: *holds up photos* These pictures?

Shadow: How'd you get those?

Spectral: *shocked* I think that these would set the Raven Fan-Girls into out of control mode…

Shadow: Yes they would. Now to finish answer the question… thanks for the offer but I'll keep living with Raven.

Spectral: *still looking through the photos…there's 100's of them…* The next question is from…*looks at card*…Destiny. The Immortal Fate wishes to know…"Would you classify yourself as a sidekick? If so, what are your feelings on the issue?"

Shadow: I am no sidekick! The last person who called me a sidekick was melted by the Charged Particle Cannon.

Spectral: *freaked out* How'd you manage to get this one?

Shadow: I have cameras all over the place.

Spectral: Ah ha. Well the next question seems to be from…Fire Fox *pause for dramatic music* She wants to know what your secret passion is besides destruction.

Shadow: Well I do like to bake things. I'm quite good at it if I do say so myself.

Spectral: *scared by two things* You do know that if Raven finds out you have this particular picture then not even I will be able to save you.

Shadow: Yes. But Raven doesn't scare me.

Spectral: The next question is from Plink. She wants to know…"Does it bother you that your master is always ordering you around? Do you feel that Raven is yours, and therefore must be taken care of?"

Shadow: Raven is not my master. He is my Partner and Friend. Of course I have to take care of him.

Spectral: Hog of Hedges wants to know why you let Raven push you around and if you like the Geno Breaker.

Shadow: I answered that already, and no. It should be black but it's red.

Spectral: *copying the pictures* Shiro Amayagi wishes to know why you have wings and the other organoids don't.

Shadow: My wings make me look more Evil then I really am. That's why I have them.

Spectral: *faxing the pictures to Fire Fox* Okay…Raine Roa wants to know..." would you consider you and Raven partners and if you do why?"

Shadow: Yes and because we just are.

Spectral: *hands shadow the original pictures*Okay. Let's bring Karl back out so we can start a game!

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *holds up a grenade*

Audience: *silence*

            Two robots carry Karl out to the stage and drop him in a chair.

Spectral: Answers the questions…get on wrong and pain awaits! Shadow, who is the most Dangerous Hiltz Fan-Girl?

Shadow: Biowolf

Spectral: Karl, what color is Thomas's uniform?

Karl: Green.

Spectral: Shadow, who is the Dark Kaiser?

Shadow: Prozen.

Spectral: Karl, what zoid does Brad Hunter pilot?

Karl: The Lightning Siax.

Spectral: Wrong! Away you go! *pushes button*

            Karl is catapulted through the ceiling and Spectral turns to Shadow.

Spectral: Shadow, what happens when I push this button?

Shadow: I don't know…

Spectral: *pushes button* This!

            A cage sprang up a few feet away.

Spectral: What?! That was supposed to capture Shadow…what happened?!

Mr. Censor: The painters moved your desk and the chairs.

Spectral: Oh well…on the next show we'll have The Judge and Brad Hunter. See you then.

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Next Time:

Brad and the Judge