The Saga Begins
"A long, long time ago… in a galaxy far away, Naboo was under an attack…." I sing under my breath. American parody songs are my latest favorite thing. I've had this one stuck in my head all day and now I am sitting on a roof, in the cold with nothing to do but sing to myself.
"Urusai1," I hear Aya's voice growl over the headset.
"Excuse me for living. I'd hate to distract you from not having a sense of humor. Pity if you laughed now and had to start over from scratch. Years of emotional seclusion washed down the drain," I say sarcastically.
"It was funny the first ten times I heard it blaring from your room. The charm is gone." There is a pause, then, "Hold on, I'm gonna have to kill this guy." I hear the unmistakable sound of Aya's katana gutting something soft and sloppy. The charm of hearing that is gone as well, but so is the emotional baggage that used to go with every kill. It's all just routine now.
"As I was saying, it got boring a long time ago. So either shut up or… no just shut up."
"It's not my fault I got the boring part of this mission. Let's see… 'Aya, go and kill some guys in this building, Youji, you and Omi go to the other side of town and play with a super computer until you suck it dry of all pertinent information and then blow it up, oh…and Ken, go with Aya and sit on the roof incase something goes wrong.' Why do I always have to sit on the god damned roof?! I don't even get a little computer like Omi does. At least then I could play solitaire or something. All I get is this little tracking map readout thing. Hey, I can see you, I can see you… no, no, not –that- way, why the Hell would you turn –that- way?" I say just to be annoying.
I can practically hear Aya glaring at me through the headset. He snorts. I let the silence hang between us for a few minutes and then start up again. "I dedicate this to you, Abyssinian," I say before going into a rendition of Secret Asian Man.
"Shut up, Siberian."
"La la la, I can't hear you! Secret Asian Man… secret Asian man…!"
"I'm going to kill you."
"I'd like to see you try." I go on singing.
"I mean it. Shut up, Siberian. I'm almost therem I need to concentrate."
"Ok. Ok." I shut up and pick at my claws. I can hear Aya breathing through the headpiece. I hear him pause. I hear him pick a lock; the lock gives and I hear the door swing open. I watch him move on the little tracking screen I hold in my hand. It's such outdated technology. It's got a green-screen for the love of God. Aya is a very advanced looking red dot. He pulses. Ooh, aah. If I didn't have it set to mute it would go, 'blip, blip, blip.'
I'm so not into this mission.
I can hear muffled, indistinguishable sounds through the headset and then, "Shiii-ne!" Scream, swish, splat. More screaming, swish, swish, and splatter. And a final swish for good measure.
"Shit."
Aya said 'shit.' My ears prick up. "What?" I look on the green-screen. Aya's not moving. "Abyssinian what is it?" I ask, slightly concerned.
"Shit," he grates. I can hear the emotions in his voice. Anger, disbelief, and fear. "Siberian…."
I hear the unmistakable crack of gunfire. Once, twice, and then an earsplitting electronic screech as the headset cuts to static. I'm cut off. I'm cut off from Aya! What the hell am I going to do? Panic! Wait, that's not right… I'm supposed to be here in case something goes wrong… and something has gone wrong. I scream Aya's name over the head set just in case he can still hear on his end. I'll let him know I'm on my way.
There's no response so I rip the earpiece out and toss it down onto the roof. I look at the green screen. Aya is still blipping away happily. I scan the screen for information. Floor 36, suite 3610. I push a button and the screen zooms out to give me an entire layout. I push a button on my watch and the screen cuts to a layout of the roof where I am now a happily blinking red dot. I race across the roof and kick in the fire escape door. I have no idea if kicking it in was necessary, but it seemed like the way to go. I rush down the stairs past floor 40, 39, 38, 37. I stop at floor 36 and try the handle. It's locked. Perfect. I attempt to kick it in. I succeed in bending the handle.
"Shit!" I hiss.
I am totally wasting time. Aya could be dead by now. I'm seized by the image of Aya lying in a pool of blood as some asshole lackey with an over developed libido stands over him with a gun. I cry out in frustration and bang myself against the door. I manage to bruise my shoulder. My heart is beating so fast that it feels like my chest is going to burst open. Why the hell had this been so badly executed?! Why couldn't I get the damn door open?! I yell again and begin to pound my fists against the door.
"Aya, you can't die! Argh!"
I then remember that I am a professional assassin. I pull myself together and cease to bang on the door. I look around for a ventilation shaft or something. Wait… I have industrial strength lock picks around here somewhere. I pull off my claw and reach into my pocket. There they are, so nice to have the reassuring weight of cold steel in one's hand. What the hell am I doing?! I'm wasting time!
I fiddle with the lock, my hands shaking, sending the picks to jangling. Five seconds later I throw the door open and turn left, tearing down the dark hallway before me. I slip my claw glove back on and glance down at the map screen thingy. I see me, moving very fast and that's about it. Shit! Where the hell is Aya?! I fumble as I run and try to push the zoom-out button. Finally I get it and can see the other blinking dot. And it's in the opposite direction that I am running.
"Typical, Hidaka, give you a 50/50 % chance and you'll pick the wrong direction," I hiss under my breath. Spinning around and streak off the way I came. I can't get the image of dead Aya out of my head. I start to breathe rapidly. Too rapidly. I could hyperventilate if I keep this up. Then my mind goes to Aya not dead, but dying and me wasting time. I could save his life! Maybe the ass-hole who shot at him is the type of person who gives a long, self-gratifying speech before he kills people. Maybe he's toying with Aya at this very moment! Maybe I can get there just in time and stop him… maybe I've already wasted too much time, maybe I'll get there just a split second too late. The image of me bursting into the room just as Aya takes another shot, his eyes fixed on me, dying with a sudden glint of unrequited hope tears at my gut. I force myself to run faster.
3608…3609… 3610! I throw all of my weight against the closed door and burst into the room fully expecting to see Aya in a pool of blood on the floor. But the room is dark and empty, eerily silent. Frantically I pull out the tracking screen again. There's the dot… I need to get to the bedroom.
I rush through the apartment. I kick another door in. I freeze in my tracks, claws out, hand raised.
Indigo eyes, iridescent, catching what tiny amount of light the room offers look at me flatly. One thin, artful eyebrow arches slowly. He's standing over a newly carved up body cleaning his katana with a piece of bed sheet. I gulp air into my burning lungs and stare at him with wide, scared eyes.
"Siberian? What are you doing?" he asks slowly.
"I… I was supposed to… if there was trouble. I heard the shots and then… the headset cut out…."
Aya looks back and forth from me to the body beneath him. He reaches up and tugs the tiny headset off. He looks at it. It's snapped in two. He hadn't even noticed.
"Hn, must have broken when I rolled to dodge the first bullet. Not that I needed to… I admit he threw me off at first… but turned out to be a lousy shot."
An unexpected, totally unprecedented wave of relief sweeps over me. Before I know what I'm doing I leap forward and spring over the first body, throwing myself into Aya. I wrap my arms around his body and squeeze him as tightly as I can. That squeaking sound of leather. My hands tighten around fistfuls of his coat. "Thank God!" I cry. I start laughing strangely into his shoulder.
Aya goes rigid like a statue. He drops his katana. For a few moments we just stand there like that. I have no idea what I'm doing or why I'm doing it. I mean, I know I'm glad Aya didn't get shot, but what the hell am I doing with my arms wrapped around him? It's a little overkill, but my rational brain can't get my hands to let go. And why the hell is he just standing there? Why isn't he pushing me away, smacking me, acting like Aya? He should. I expect him to. Nothing happens.
"Ken, what are you doing?" he asks hoarsely after a few moments, using my name, dropping the mission formality of 'Siberian.'
"I have no idea," I say still laughing, "I'm just so glad that you didn't get hurt… I was so afraid that something had happened. And I couldn't get here fast enough…." I break off, choking on my own words.
Then the really unexpected happens. Aya reaches up and pats my back, in a condescending, 'hope-you-aren't-going-crazy' kinda way, but still, it's contact. "I think you should get off me now, Ken."
I nod and let him go, stepping backwards, careful not to fall over the mangled body on the floor.
I try not to look at Aya. I feel really self-conscious all of a sudden. When I do look up I expect Aya to be pissed or ignoring me. Instead he looks vaguely confused. He glances at me, opens his mouth, shuts it, looks away, and then picks up his katana. He sheathes it and then steps over the bodies on his way out the door. I follow after him. I hang back slightly.
That was really weird.
We leave by way of the fire stairs. Aya notes the number I worked over on the door handle and shakes his head. We don't say anything on the way back to the Koneko, there really isn't much to say. Mission accomplished. I'm calling it victory.
When we get back I let Aya take a shower first. He's the one who did all the dirty work after all. He knocks on my door once on his way down the hall to let me know when he's done. I jump up and rush to the bathroom. It's still all steamy from Aya's shower. It smells like him, and the faintest traces of blood. I breathe in the humid air and let the feel of it fill my body. I almost don't want to take a shower now, because then I'll chase away this lingering feel of Aya. Wait… what the hell am I talking about?
Lingering feel of Aya? What is wrong with me?! I sniff my pits. Screw that, I stink.
Angry with myself for my stupid trains of thought I savagely turn on the shower and strip. I wink at myself in the mirror. "Hey, sexy." I flex, I can't help it. Stepping into the shower I let the hot water flow over my body and chase away all the tension and dirt. I stand there, just thinking about nothing. I haven't even started to wash my hair when I hear a sharp rap on the door.
"You're running up the water bill," Aya snaps from other side of the door.
"Cheap!" I yell back. I shampoo quickly and then run the soap over my body. I rinse and step out of the shower. "Happy?"
"Thank you," comes the dry reply from beyond the door. I roll my eyes. I towel off, wrap the towel around my waist and then walk out of the bathroom. Aya looks up from the table where he's reading the paper. He looks me up and down as I stand in the hallway in nothing but a towel. He seems to be considering something, but his eyes betray no emotion.
"What?" I snap.
He looks up at my face and shrugs. I stare back waiting for him to say something. He doesn't. "That's it? Just," I imitate his shrug.
"Yeah, that's it. Go put some clothes on, Ken."
I roll my eyes. "Whatever." I saunter down the hallway, my dirty clothes tucked up under my arm. For some reason I wonder if Aya is watching me.
I open the door to my room and turn on the light next to my bed. I whip off the towel and dump it in a pile with the rest of my dirty laundry… I should really do something about that pile. I go to my dresser and pull out a pair of clean boxers. They've got little glow in the dark alien heads on them. Cool, I thought I'd lost these. I pull them on over my skinny hips. Should my hips be that skinny? I turn to look in the mirror. I pat my flat tummy. Does it matter? No. I pull open another drawer and rummage around until I find one of my old goalie shirts. It's got some crazy colors going on. I yank it over my head.
I grab my Discman and flop down on my bed, plug the earphones into my head and press play. I am disturbed to hear Kinky Kids snap to life. Ugh! I sit up and grumble. That's right. I let Omi borrow my Discman last time his went on the fritz. I make a mental note to ream Omi about his taste in music. Might as well be listening to Morning Musume. Bleh. Love Machine? I think not.
I decide that I really don't want to find my CD case, so I lie back down and give into the Kinky Kids. A few minutes later I hear someone knocking on my door through the peppy tones of Kinky Kids Forever. As I sit up Aya pushes my door open and stands there in his loose pajama bottoms and faded white undershirt, arms crossed across his chest. I wonder how he manages to make pajamas look so good.
I pull one earphone out. "Yeah?"
"Youji just called to check in. He says that Omi has developed an intimate relationship with the computer and that he can't tear him away. Apparently Omi is refusing to let Youji destroy it, so it looks like they're going to be a little later than originally planned."
I chuckle. "That kid needs a life… or a woman."
"Hn," Aya nods. I lay back down, expecting him to leave. The unsettling feeling of being watched still hangs in the air and I realize he's still standing in the doorway. I look over at him and wait. He doesn't say anything. My feet start to twitch to the music still playing in one ear.
"Do you need something?" I ask after a moment.
"Mind if I come in?"
My face must betray my disbelief because Aya adds, "I want to talk to you about something."
I sit up again and turn off my Discman. He's probably going to ream me for overreacting tonight. One of those, 'gotta-keep-my-professional-demeanor- and-cool-head' talks. Leader duty stuff. I sigh. "Yeah sure, come in."
To my surprise Aya closes the door behind him, which is weird seeing as no one else is home. Force of habit, I suppose. He walks to the edge of my bed and then to my complete surprise sits down. He leans back casually on his elbows. He looks up at the ceiling. I pull my legs up to my body.
Aya's never just come into my room to hang out. Youji, Omi, sure they come in all the time. But Aya isn't exactly the hang out in your room type. If he hangs out anywhere it's in his own room… alone. I have no idea what to say to him. I set my Discman on the table by my bed.
He leans all the way back and stretches his arms out over his head. When he brings his hands back up one of them touches my foot. The contact creates this weird tingling feeling that makes me want to wiggle my toes, but I don't. I blink. He just lies there, one hand sticking out off the end of my bed, the other touching my foot lightly. If it was Omi or Youji I wouldn't even notice the touch, but Aya is not Omi or Youji… he's Aya. I'm not sure if he notices, but I think he probably does.
"What did you want to talk about?" I ask suddenly. My voice sounds too loud in my own ears. Aya looks over at me and pulls his arms in, rolling over onto his side. He props himself up on one elbow. He looks at me intensely.
"I've been thinking, Ken," he begins slowly. "About earlier tonight. The way you reacted back in that apartment."
I can feel my stomach twisting around. That was totally embarrassing. Here we go, Aya's going to chew me out for being a freak. I'd better get my two cents in now before he really lets into me.
"Hey, look," I break in. "I don't know what was wrong with me. I was pretty squirrelly all day, so just forget it. I know it was totally unprofessional and lame, but I really was freaking out. I mean I thought you'd been shot, so keep that in mind as you rip me a new one."
Aya looks up at me with passive, dark eyes. "I wasn't going to rip you a new one, Ken. I was going to say thank you. I know I can be a real ass- hole, but thank you for caring."
I stare at Aya for a few seconds and then blurt out, "What?!"
Aya starts to trace patterns on my bed cover with his index finger. "Just listen for a second, because I'm not going to say this more than once. Once is hard enough," he growls. I stare back at him and nod. "I realized something tonight. When you… hugged me -as strange and disconcerting as it was- you made me realize that I can't go on like this."
"Like what?"
"Ken, shut up and listen," Aya snaps. "I realized that I have to let it go, this person that I've created, this emptiness that I have allowed to eat me. I have to let them go. Takatori is dead, Aya-chan is fine, the world turns, I have to move on. I can't live alone inside myself anymore. It's shit. I'm tired of shit."
I look at Aya like he might turn into a pumpkin at the strike of midnight. "Just like that. You've been obsessed with shutting the world out for all these years and just like that you decide, 'oh, wait, that's not what I want?'"
Aya looks up at me and actually smiles a real smile, "Yeah, Ken, just like that. Weird, huh?"
"Yeah, just slightly. And I did this? Because I hugged you?"
Aya thinks this over for a minute. "You have to understand something, Ken. I like you. I really like you. You're good with kids, you're kind to people you don't even know, you sacrifice for others, and you have the balls to honestly care. Out of all the members of Weiβ I admire you the most."
I think I'm starting to blush.
I expect Aya to go on, but he just leaves it at that. I feel strange. It's too much, too much information from Aya. Too much Aya emotion to process at once. It was bad enough that I spazzed out and threw myself on him earlier, but now him lying on my bed talking about his feelings is kinda frightening. But at the same time it feels really good. It feels good that he wants to tell -me-. He came to -me-. He said that I was the one who opened up this floodgate. And I feel really good, but wary for some reason.
"So, what do you want me to do?" I ask, not able to think of anything else to say.
"I want you to help me, Ken."
I blink and pull my legs closer. "How exactly?" I ask. There must be a hint of skepticism or something in my voice, because his eyes narrow for a moment and then he looks away.
Silent moments pass and then he shrugs. "Forget it."
I'm losing him. He's receding back into that dank hole he lives in. Not as if I'm being mister encouraging, but there's something about Aya that makes me nervous. It makes everybody nervous. Still, he wouldn't have brought it up, went through all the trouble to get this far if he wasn't serious. I know I have to do my part to egg him on. I uncurl one of my legs and push against his shoulder with my toe. "C'mon, Aya. Tell me what you want me to do. You know I'd do anything to help… any one of you guys."
He looks over at my foot like he might just rip it off my leg and leave nothing but a bloody stump. I over stepped my bounds. But then he suddenly smiles and just shoves it away roughly, playfully. He flips over onto his back and sighs. "Just that, Ken, just like that. I want you to be yourself. I'm tired of people pussy footing around me. Don't be afraid of me, Ken. That's what I want. Treat me like you treat Youji and Omi."
I scratch my head. "Jesus, Aya-kun. So you want me to harass you, call you names, tackle you from the back of the couch, call you a lecher, and tease you for being girly?"
He glares at me. "In a sense."
I fake enlightenment and nod my head. "Ooh, I get it, you want me to treat you like a friend," I snap my fingers, "duh!"
"I'm serious Ken. I can't keep living this way. I can get better, but I can't do it all alone."
"Well… we're all here for you, Aya. It's not like we wouldn't put all of our necks on the line for you. I mean, why ask me? Not like I'm such a prize," I say, snorting.
"Don't depreciate your value, Ken," Aya says seriously. He locks those eyes of his on me. Why is my heart racing? I stare back, but I can't keep looking at him for too long, it's too intense. I look down at my knees.
"Do we have a deal? Will you save my soul, Ken-kun?" this last comment is said in jest, but I feel the weight of the words nonetheless.
I smile broadly and nod, "Deal, Aya-kun." I hold out my hand and he reaches up to shake it. I lean back against my pillows and Aya remains lying across the foot of my bed. Now what?
1 Urusai literally means "noisy" but basically means "shut up"
Comments: Contrary to popular belief I'm not dead. I'm just very unproductive. Ever since I took Creative Writing this past spring semester I've been very pensive about my writing in general. Not sure why. Besides that this summer was very evil with me working 13 hour long days starting at 6:20 AM and packing up my house for the impending move of doom. Anyway. I've been saying that I will put this story back up for the past… well almost a year now. And look I finally got around to doing it! Aren't you excited? -_- So here it is, The Saga Begins, slightly revamped and if nothing else dusted off a bit. Enjoy. Especially Mako-chan since you've been asking me to do this for so long. *huggles* Anyway, I am hoping to coax myself into getting back into writing some stuff for the fun of it, so stayed tuned, but don't hold your breath. LOL.
Disclaimer: As much as I have used and abused them the boys are still not mine.