Spectral's Evil and Insane Zoids Themed Talk Show Type Show

By, Spectral

Insanity comes in many forms this is one of the more pleasant ones…

Disclaimer: Spectral doesn't own zoids or its characters. He owns this story and its plot but not Zoids or it characters.

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Mr. Censor: Live from a studio somewhere in Limbo, it's Spectral's Zoid Themed Talk Show! Here's your host, Spectral!

            Spectral appeared in a cloud of smoke. The audience applauded. Spectral tried to quiet them but they wouldn't stop. He tried again with no progress. The audience quickly became silent when Spectral pulled a flamethrower out of subspace.

Spectral: Thank you, thank you. Well I've come up with some sort of talk show-like show. It will feature Zoids characters from all three series, some zoid battles, zombies, explosions, maniacal laughter, insanity, and some other zoid related stuff that I'll make up as we go along. That sound good?

Audience: Yes!

One guy in Audience: No!

Spectral: *snaps fingers*

            There was a puff of smoke and when it cleared, the guy from the audience was a chinchilla. Spectral walked over to his desk and sat down behind it. The control panel activated and the buttons appeared.

Spectral: Before we begin the show, I believe there are some questions for me…

Mr. Censor: Sick Little Fiend wants to know when O'Connell will be on and she wants you to ship using UPS next time.

Spectral: O'Connell will be on the show, just wait for CH12 (I think…) and I did use UPS. I shipped the hat with the Undead Postal Service.

Mr. Censor: Schala85 said this, "just wanted to tell ya that I'm the authoress of Clashing Realities (since you weren't so sure in your profile ^_~), Biowolf's just kind enough to post it for me...although I haven't been in the humorous mood lately...please update this so I can get back to writing it? Please? *irresistible kitten eyes* (I made up the kitten eyes too! ^___^)"

Spectral: Sorry about that….I changed it almost immediately. (Lousy "effects may take up to 24 hours to appear" thing)

Mr. Censor: Okay… that's all.

Spectral: If that's all then its time to bring out the first guest…Here's the Judge!

            The Judge appears in a chair next to Spectral's desk.

Spectral: Hello.

Judge: Area scanned, battlefield set up!

Spectral: HOLD IT! This isn't a zoid battle.

Judge: It isn't? Then why am I here?

Spectral: You have to answer some questions.

Judge: Then ask them.

Spectral: Okay, the first one is from…*looks at card* HealerAriel. She wants to know what it's like being a little plastic dude.

Judge: I'm not a "little plastic dude". I'm a robot that officiates zoid battles.

Spectral: The next question is from Fire Fox*pause for dramatic music*. She wants to know, "What do you do for fun when you are not getting blown up by the B.D. group?"

Judge: I wrestle. Didn't you see how I beat up that Dark Judge in the Shadow Fox episode?
Spectral: That was funny…the next question is from…Shiro Amayagi. He wants to know, "Why do all the judges look the same even if there are males and females?"

Judge: They just do.

Spectral: Ah ha… well Hog of Hedges wants to know, "Do you feel unloved? Do you think no one cares? If so, I know a good psychiatrist." And "Are you a guy or a girl? OR is there a difference?"

Judge: No, I do not feel unloved, plenty of people care, and I am a "guy". There are differences but I won't go into that right now…

Spectral: Very well…that was the last question. Go hang out back stage and we'll call you back out later.

Judge: Okay.

Spectral: We'll be back after this commercial break.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *picks up shovel*

Audience: *silence*

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Demon Notebook: The following is a test of the Evil Alarm System Broadcast.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DN: If you hear that sound, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! This has been a test if the EASB. If this had been a real alarm of approaching evil, you would be RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE!

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Spectral: We're baaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *picks up flamethrower*

Audience: *silence*

Spectral: Time for our next guest. MINIONS! Go get Brad Hunter.

            Two robots fly through a dimensional portal. They return a few moments later with Brad. They drop him in a chair next to Spectral's desk.

Spectral: Hello.

Brad: Am I getting paid to be here?

Spectral: No.

Brad: Then why am I here?

Spectral: Because if you try to leave before the show ends I'll drop you into the fiery underworld.

Brad: Then ask your questions.

Spectral: Very well. The first question's from HealerAriel. She wants to know, "I love your hair, by the way, and I can totally relate to your coffee addiction, because I love coffee too! Are you seeing Naomi? If you are, would you like to go out for coffee with me, just as friends? If you're not seeing her, can we go out for coffee on a date? Pretty please? I'd even pay you! Oh, and does Bit walk in on Leena in the shower a lot? It's not really accidental, is it? ^_~ XOXO!"

Brad: Yes I am going out with Naomi but no one's supposed to know about that…but sure I'll go out with you. Just bring money. As for the Bit thing, Bit doesn't just walk in on Leena. He seems to do it to everyone but Doc. None of us think it's accidental anymore.

Spectral: Ever thought of locking the door?

Brad: Well, Jamie and I don't really care and no matter how many times we suggest it to Leena, she keeps forgetting to lock the door.

Spectral: Oh. Well, the next question's from…*looks at card* Fire Fox*pause for dramatic music* Who keeps doing that? Anyway…she asks, "How much conditioner do you use in a week? I bet he uses a lot of his prize money on hair care products. Just how much does he spend on hair care products?"

Brad: Not a lot…

Spectral: That's all you'll say?

Brad: yes.

Spectral: Joy. The next question is from…Shiro Amayagi. He wants to know what you'll do to him if he causes the Shadow Fox to self-destruct.

Brad: I'd break him in two if he did that.

Spectral: Interesting. The next question is from…Hog of Hedges. He wants to know, "Do you like the Shadow Fox or the Command Wolf better? And what do you think about Bit?"

Brad: Shadow Fox and Bit's an okay zoid pilot but he's incredibly annoying and weird.

Spectral: And you're normal? The next question id from…*looks at card that has mysteriously caught fire* Sick Little Fiend. She says "My best friend thinks you're ugly. How does that make you feel?"

Brad: Tell your best friend that I will hurt them.

Spectral: Bluemoon Wolf wants to know if you're going out with Naomi.

Brad: yes but no one's supposed to know that…

Spectral: Mistress of all Worlds asks "How much coffee do you drink each day? What do you like he most, money, coffee, or Naomi? If you had to choose to go out ton a date with either Leena or Mary Champ, who would you pick? How much money do you make?"

Brad: About three pots, Naomi, Mary Champ, and a lot of money.

Spectral: Okay…The last question is from Fuzzy. The Rabid Vegetarian wishes to know "Brad, if you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?"

Brad: I'd like to be a rich zoid warrior married to Naomi.

Spectral: Very nice, but that was more than one thing…

Brad: So what?

Spectral: Bring back out the Judge so we can start the game!

            The Judge is carried on stage by a Zombie and dropped in a chair next to Brad.

Spectral: Answer the questions correctly and you might win, get one wrong and pain awaits!

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *holds up old dictionary*

Audience: *silence*

Spectral: Brad, what is the name of Riece's Organoid?

Brad: Specula.

Spectral: Judge, which battle mode is a standard battle without restrictions on arsenal or number of warriors?
Judge: Battle mode 0990.

Spectral: Brad, What zoid does Thomas Shubaltz pilot?

Brad: Iron Kong.

Spectral: Wrong! Dezlagrate more tempe et intervalia!

            Brad disappeared in a ball of flames.

Spectral: Judge, who is the Baron of Wings?

Judge: Prozen.

Spectral: Wrong! *presses button*

            The Judge simply disappears. There's an odd silence.

Spectral: Okaaay. That's all for today's show. Next time we'll have Bit Cloud and Hiltz.

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Next Time:

Bit Cloud and Hiltz