I stare out the window of the flower shop. Good Lord, it's a miserable day out there. Nothing but rain and clouds and more rain and more clouds and… yeah. But at least the miserable weather keeps the high school girls away. On days like this they all just hurry home to avoid getting soaked since they can't all fit in here at once. It's the small miracles that really hit home.

I sigh and then go back to watering plants. Lately it seems like my entire life is completely composed of me watering plants. Big plants, little plants, hanging plants, shrubby plants, even really ugly plants, I've watered them all. And I do it every day. Almost everyday.

When I'm done watering the plants I turn off the shop hose and stretch. I retie my apron strings for the fifth time in the last two hours and then look over at Aya. He's sitting behind the counter leafing through a seed catalog. It's almost re-order time. His hair falls in his face over the geeky reading glasses he wears. I love it when he wears his glasses. I like it when I can watch him and he doesn't know.

I pause to consider Aya for a moment.

Things haven't really been all that different since we had that talk, and yet they have. I mean life goes on. We work in the flower shop and we take missions and we kill people and then go out for Chinese food. It's all pretty much the same. Even Aya seems the same. He's still quiet, introverted, often grumpy, and stand offish, but he tries. See watch this.

I pick a deadhead off of one of the plants near me and throw it at Aya's head. It hits exactly where I want it to and bounces lifelessly to the counter in front of him. He glares at it and then picks it up. He holds it in one hand and takes off his glasses with the other. His eyes flick up to see me pretending to act innocent a few yards away. He slips his glasses onto his head, up above his bangs, and then throws the flower back at me. It hits me square between the eyes and I giggle. Aya slips his glasses back down onto his nose and goes back to his catalog.

Nothing too exciting, except that this is Aya we're talking about. I would never have goofed around with him before, because I know that all I would have gotten in response was the patented Aya Fujimaya 'why-do-you-bother-to-exist?' glare. Don't get me wrong, his glares of death are far from history, but they are less potent now.

It's not like Aya is a changed man. Not by a long shot. He's never going to be sweetness and light, but he's a person now. His emotions come and go as easily as anyone's. He actually takes the time to laugh at Youji's jokes and he listens with more than half an ear to Omi's heartbreaking tales of woe and trauma in High School life. He comes and sits with us and watches movies and eats popcorn and makes tea (Aya makes some damned fine tea). Basically the only thing that's different about Aya is that he's normal. Well as normal as any of us, but you get what I mean.

I walk over to where Omi is staring at our Night Blooming Cirrus. He's been watching its one, fat, pink, vile looking bud for days with endless fascination. I put a hand on his shoulder. "So, Omittchi, is it doing anything yet?"

"Oh, yes. It's gotten much bigger since we closed yesterday. See how the bud's petals are beginning to gap around each other? It's going to open tonight! And I am going to sit here and watch it," he says in breathless excitement. I've never understood how Omi can actually enjoy being a florist.

I open my mouth to say something intelligent, but all I can manage is, "Wow."

I stretch.

"Will you sit up and watch it with me, Ken-kun?"

"Um… tempting, but… no," I say.

"What about you, Aya-kun? Will you stay up and watch it with me?" Omi calls over his shoulder.

Aya looks up from the catalog and furrows his brows. He's thinking. "I'll have to pass, Omi."

"Awww, you guys are no fun!" he says, pouting.

"Don't worry, Omittchi, you'll have your laptop to keep you company," I say patting his shoulder.

"Yeah, that's true," he says turning his attention back to the weird looking plant.

I am slightly disturbed by the fact that he agreed with me so heartily. I walk back towards Aya and lean my elbows on the counter, putting my chin in my hands. "Aya-kun, this is boring."

"Mmhm."

"It's not fair that Youji got the most boring day off. He always lucks out. He gets all the girls and he gets the good days off."

"C'est la vie," Aya says flatly. "Do you think we should order extra dahlia bulbs?" he asks suddenly looking up. His eyes peer into mine over the rim of his glasses and I'm stuck. Stuck in the world of Aya. I smile slightly, the corners of my mouth tugging upwards awkwardly.

There's something about him. Something I can't explain. I was having weird thoughts about Aya before… before that night when I freaked out and threw myself on him in relief. But now I'm having even weirder thoughts. But these thoughts aren't superficial anymore; they aren't just amusing or quirky. I'm beginning to take my thoughts seriously, and I'm not so sure that's a good thing.

I like the way his face lingers in my mind's eye. I love making him laugh, making him smile… smile for me. The Aya-kun with feelings is a million times more charming than the Aya-kun without them, but somehow he hasn't lost his dark, mysterious demeanor either. Not to mention the fact that he smells really good. Not like I should take any of this seriously.

It's all just shits and giggles, right? Right. So then why do I jump when he touches my arm and says, "Why are you staring at me like that?"

I snap to, "Staring like what?" My stomach tightens.

"Like you aren't paying any attention to what I'm saying."

Inwardly I sigh in relief. "Um… cause I'm not, sorry. What were you saying?"

He raises an eyebrow and glares at me. "I wanted to know if you thought we should order extra dahlias."

I think this over for a moment to make it look like I care. "Sure, why not? Everybody loves dahlias."

He looks back down at the catalog and makes a mark in it with his black pen. So efficient. "Ok."

I keep looking at the top of his head as he goes back to perusing the catalog. "Na, Aya?"

"Hn?"

"You wanna rent a movie tonight and make some yakisoba?"

"Sure."

"Hey, you guys, that's not fair," Omi whines from his post by the plant. "I want to, too!"

"Well it's your own damn fault for becoming obsessed with that ugly plant. You have to choose. Dinner and a movie or the plant," I say, turning to look at him.

He looks pained. This is obviously a big decision in Omi's life. It's us versus the Night Blooming Cirrus. He gives the quivering pink bud another longing glance and then crumbles. He sighs, "I must stay with the plant. She needs someone to revel in the fruits of her labor."

"Suit yourself," I chime. Not that I'm glad he decided to stay in the shop... I love the kid, but I wouldn't mind a quiet night in with just Aya- kun. Omi can get so spazzy. Especially if we watch action movies. Then he's up and all over the living room, knocking over chairs and giving anything that moves the take down. Come to think of it it's even worse if we watch a chick flick; the kid's got the water works on the whole time. I've never seen anything like it.

Anyway since Youji is most likely going to pull an all-nighter with his latest fling, it looks like it's just Aya and me. I grin and stretch again. Now if I can just survive the afternoon.

By the time we finally close up shop the rain has stopped, but the sky is still cloudy. Aya and I leave Omi on his stool by the Night Blooming Cirrus and walk together out into the cool evening. The air is damp and heavy and clings to our clothes, making it seem that much colder. I splash through the puddles, splashing him on purpose.

"Ugh, what are you five?" he asks, but without bitterness.

I laugh maniacally and race ahead, loving the fact that I am free of the Koneko. I pause by a street lamp to wait for Aya. He catches up and we keep walking. First we stop at the movie store. The tiny one on the corner, the one that smells weird. We spend fifteen minutes trying to decide what to rent.

"Ah! This one, we –have- to see this one!"

Aya eyes me nervously and peers at the box in my hand. "Brother? Why? What's it about?"

"Umm… a street gang in LA, I think. But the leader is this ex-Yakuza family member and he all takes over and turns these punk-ass Americans into…."

Aya is looking at me with a raised eyebrow. He's not convinced.

"It's got Beat Takeshi in it! He starred in it and directed it, and Joe Hisaishi did the score! What more could you possibly ask for?!" I cry.

Aya sighs and takes it from me. He heads for the counter. The clerk girl makes a valiant attempt to flirt with him, but she was destined to crash a burn before she even got started. Aya takes the movie coolly and we exit the store.

Next stop is the seedy grocery store across the street. We need yakisoba noodles and we're out of milk too. Of course by the time we leave we have not only yakisoba noodles and milk, but three bags of flavored dried snack fish, potato things, two bags of umiboshi*, chocolate ice cream, the makings of mochi, a bag of dried octopus strips, and s bag of seaweed for me to snack on. I take some seaweed out of the bag on the way home and let it get soft on my tongue. I then spread it over my teeth and grin at Aya.

"Real cute, Ken."

"Well, I thought so," I say laughing. I suck the seaweed off my teeth and eat it. I hold out the bag. "You want some, Aya-kun?"

He looks over at it and makes a gag reflex. "Too salty."

"Suit yourself," I say happily pulling out another piece. I crunch it loudly between my teeth. "Mmm."

When we get back we wave to Omi who is still doting over his ladylove and then scoot upstairs. Aya gets to work on the yakisoba and I… well I watch him. I watch as he pushes up his sleeves and then I watch his pale forearms flex as he stirs the noodles in the pan and adds this and that. It's fascinating. I chatter away at him about nothing in particular. He seems content to listen.

When he's done he pours all of the noodles into a big bowl and piles the dishes he's used in the sink. "It's still really hot," he says blandly.

I nod. "Ok. Well, I'm going to go and get in my P.Js to watch the movie."

"Good idea." We both trundle up the stairs and into our respective rooms. Ten seconds later we're walking back out and down the stairs wearing our pajama bottoms and faded t-shirts.

"I'll grab the yakisoba, you grab the chopsticks," I say taking the whole bowl with me into the living room.

"Ken, we need bowls," Aya calls after me.

"No we don't. Live dangerously, Aya-kun. Enjoy the rush of communal eating."

He grumbles but comes after me with our chopsticks anyway. I put in the movie and then plop down next to him on the couch. We sandwich the noodles between us and go at it. As the previews end and the movie comes on I get up to turn off all the lights. Movies are always best when viewed in the dark.

We sit and watch. We eat, pulling the bowl back and forth, bending our faces over the noodles so as not to drop any, play fighting with our chopsticks as we both try to get the same noodles at the same time.  I would never have thought that Aya could giggle so well. 

When we are done eating I set the bowl on the floor with our chopsticks in it. This is the best movie I've ever seen. It's totally awesome. Guys cutting off their fingers, guys committing seppuku, black American's talking slang (it's hard to follow, but I like the way it sounds), stuff blowing up, guns, really nice suits, and of course Beat Takeshi being a bad ass.

My head falls sideways onto Aya's shoulder. He doesn't seem to mind so I let it stay there. The movie is beginning to get heavy. "They shouldn't have screwed with the mafia," I murmur. "This is really good."

"Yeah, but the violence just isn't convincing anymore."

I laugh hollowly. "That's true. It's sad that we can actually say, 'hey, that is NOT was a guy getting gutted with a kitchen knife looks like!'"

"Hn." Aya shifts his arm like he's uncomfortable so I sit up again. He looks over at me. There's something in his eyes. What is it? Relief, disappointment? No, more just a question. He turns away and goes back to watching the movie. I watch the dance of light from the screen play across his face. It's lurid, but enchanting. It's almost the end of the movie. The black American is driving away in the car. He says, "I love you, Aniki, wherever you at. I love you my brother!"

Aya smiles sadly, he's touched.

I'm struck by an overwhelming impulse.

I reach over, placing my hand on his cheek, turning his face towards me. He turns, not resisting, curious as to what I want. I lean towards him and press my lips to his, my eyes flutter closed. I have no idea what I'm doing. No, I know exactly what I am doing, I am kissing Aya, but as to why I am doing it, that is another matter altogether. But somewhere I think I might even know that.

The kiss isn't anything to write home about. It's just my lips on his lips. I have to admit it's kinda sloppy. It only lasts a couple seconds and then I pull away.

As my eyes open again I can see Aya's face barely illuminated by the light of the rolling credits.  His eyes glow like the eyes of cat, throwing the light back at me.  He doesn't blink, he sits there, unmoving, staring at me.  It's too dark to see his expression, but I can see it in my mind's eye well enough.  Utter disbelief, shock, disgust… all of that most likely. 

At this point the enormity of what I have just done hits me. I can feel myself blushing furiously. I wipe at my mouth with the back of my hand and stare down into my lap. Before I can meet his eyes again, before he can say anything or be repulsed by me I stand up.

"Excuse me," I whisper and then walk away. I don't even look back at him, but I know he's just sitting there. I close my door behind me and go to sit on my bed.

I sit there for a few minutes. My mind is utterly blank except for the remnants of that kiss. My lips still tingle, still burn from that brief contact. In a way I want to stay with that feeling for the rest of the night.

Then the wheels start to turn, the processor kicks in.

Holy shit! I kissed Aya! That means… that means… I must have -feelings- for Aya. Well, duh, Ken as if that wasn't blatantly obvious before hand. Yeah, but now it's irrevocable, I can't just be all, la de da, isn't my crush on Aya cute? 'Cause it's not! It's heavy. This… this isn't right. What the hell was I thinking?! Now Aya's going to be seriously pissed! Wait a sec… if I have feelings for Aya… and Aya's a guy… does that mean I'm gay? Um… well… I guess so. At least… no wait a second! All human beings have bisexual tendencies… I read that somewhere. So, this is normal. I am not a raging homosexual. I am not a flamer. I don't talk with a lisp for one thing and I certainly don't have good fashion sense, so I can't be 'gay.' I might be, 'bi.' Actually I think kissing Aya automatically qualifies me for bi, so no argument there, no might be. But… but…but… this is so not fair! This is not how I wanted things to go! I… I can't handle this! The last thing I need is to be confused over my sexual orientation concerning another member of Weiβ. This is way too heavy right now!

At this point I give up reasoning with myself and start to cry. I then start to berate myself for being a pussy and crying about it, but I can't help it so I curl up in fetal position on my bed and hug my pillow. My chest hurts. I shudder as each gasping sob comes up. I haven't cried this hard since I killed my best friend. Tears stream down my face.

This is all wrong. It's Aya! I can't feel like this about Aya. I can't. I shouldn't, it's not right. And now I've gone and made an ass of myself. He'll never understand, God he must hate me right now.  Just when things were starting to get good, just when he had finally opened up to all of us I have to go and do something stupid like this!

I hadn't realized until just then how much having Aya think of me and treat me like a friend had become. His friendship had become priceless, but now I'd gone and ruined it in one unthinking, impulsive moment. 

I lie on my bed, I cry to myself. I wonder if he'll come in, if he'll want to talk about it. He never does.

Eventually I fall asleep.

The next morning I wake up late. I notice this because there's too much sunlight on my floor. I realize that nobody bothered to wake me up, or nobody wanted to. I think immediately about how my evening with Aya turned out. I recall that kiss… that stupid, sloppy, surprise kiss. I close my eyes, I feel like crawling into a dark hole and never coming out again. How can I possibly go down to the shop and face him? What will he do? How will he look at me? I don't think I can stand it if he looks at me with hatred or disgust. Did he tell Omi or Youji about it? I don't think so. He wouldn't do that.

I roll out of bed and pull on my clothes. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, wash my face, take a leak, whatever. I run my fingers through my hair, good enough. I just want to get this over with. I can't hang around up here all day. That would look weird.

I walk downstairs and through the back room into the shop. As soon as I push through the door I can feel everyone's eyes on me, especially Aya's. I stare resolutely at the floor and walk mechanically over to the apron rack. I grab mine and tie it savagely around my waist. I can feel his eyes following me, burning holes in my back.

"Ohiyou, Ken-kun," Omi calls to me. "Do you feel better now?"

I look over at him and blink. "Huh?"

"Aya-kun, said that you didn't feel well when you went to bed last night. That's why he told us to let you sleep in," Omi says smiling.

I can't help but steal a glance at Aya. He looks passive, his eyes tell me nothing. I look away quickly. I shrug at Omi. "Yeah, Omi-kun, I guess I feel better now. Thanks for asking."

"Sure thing, Ken!" he says brightly. Youji snorts.

"I don't exactly feel great either," he says sharply. "But I don't see anyone letting me sleep in."

"That's because you're hung-over, Youji. Take responsibility for your actions," Aya says in his deep voice. I feel like he's talking to me. How do I take responsibility for my actions? I have no idea what to do. Youji grumbles, but doesn't say anything more.

Somehow I manage to get through the day. I pussyfoot around Aya all day long. I try not to stand near him or talk to him. I stay quiet; let them think I feel unwell. Hell I do feel unwell. As soon as work is over I whip off my apron and hang it up. I'm out of there. I'm halfway up the stairs when Aya catches up with me.

He grabs my wrist and yanks me around. Great here we go. He's going to let into me something fierce and within hearing distance of Youji and Omi. They must be closing up. I choke and look down at my feet. I have no way to explain myself… well I have one way….

"Ken," he says like he's angry. Like he's going to say more. I fight back my tears, I won't let him see me cry, I won't let him see what all this means. I turn my head away from him. He takes my face in his hand, roughly forcing me to look at him. He's still practically as tall as I am even one step below me. He's not only going to chew me out, but he's going to make me take the 'glare of death' at point blank range while he does so.

I try to pull away; he makes me feel like a child.

He yanks my wrist again, forcing me to stay where I am. He narrows his eyes; I can't tell what he's thinking, but it doesn't look good. Then suddenly he leans forward violently and presses his lips against mine. I'm so surprised that I can't even react to him. He's rough. There's little emotion behind the action, just a sort of curiosity, a questing for answers, dominance. When I get my wits together, I'm pissed. He's mocking me, abusing me. I shove him away roughly with my free arm, but he doesn't let go of my face. When he's done with me he shoves me back roughly. I almost lose my balance, but clutch the banister before I fall on my ass.

He turns away from me and walks back down the stairs. "Figure it out, Ken," he says as he walks away.

I stand in a daze and then turn and race to my room. I slam my door behind me.

"Shit!" I scream to nobody in particular. Why was Aya going and fucking with my head?! This wasn't fair. What was up with that kiss?

Figure if out Ken…

What did that mean? Figure what out? Why Aya kissed me? What it meant? Or am I supposed to figure out what happens now?

I sit down on my bed and throw my pillow across the room. I'm immediately sorry that I did because now I want to hug something. I grumble and go after the pillow and then flop down on my bed with it and curl up. I'm so confused. Did all of this mean something to Aya, or was he just enjoying being able to mess with me? That didn't really seem like him…. He should either be pissed or just blow it off. That was Aya. He wouldn't normally retaliate so cruelly, just throwing it back in my face. Or was he saying that he was willing to take this farther… willing to see what would happen? Did he want to keep us on even ground for some reason? I don't know. My head hurts just thinking about it.

I lie on my bed for a very long time. I doze. At one point Omi comes in to ask me if I feel ok. I tell him I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping lately. He sits on my bed for a few minutes and talks happily about this and that. Then he pats my head and leaves.

I go back to dozing. There's a sharp knock at my door. I sit up and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. It's late now. Dark outside. I glance at the clock: 9:23. "Come in," I call blearily. I assume it's Omi coming to see if I've eaten anything.

The door opens slowly the light flicks on. I'm blinded by the sudden brightness.

"Ah! Turn it off!" I cry. I lean over to switch on my bedside lamp and as I do so the overhead goes off.

When my eyes adjust I turn to look at the doorway and see him standing, arms across his chest by my door. Aya.  My stomach clenches and I feel my heart pick up the pace a bit. He's in his pajamas again and without a word he crosses my room and stands in front of my window. I shift on my bed so that I can face him.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"Did you figure it out, Ken?" he says softly.

I glare at him, but he's facing away from me so it has little effect. "Figure what out? What exactly am I supposed to figure out, Aya?"

"Don't snap at me. You started this."

I swallow my retort, knowing he's right. I look away. He turns around when I don't say anything. I expect him to look grim or angry or something, but his face is perfectly calm. His mouth might even twitch into the faintest smile. He puts his hands on his hips.

"So, Ken. What have you figured out? I thought you'd come and bitch at me, but you haven't, so you must have been thinking."

"I've been sleeping."

"Hn."

I sigh and look at him, I feel tired again. "Look, Aya, what do you want me to say? I guess what I've figured out is that you're either the biggest bastard I've ever met and you like to fuck with people's emotions, or there's more going on here."

"Like what?"

I stare at him, my eyes are angry. Why is he making me do all the work? My heart's already on my sleeve, I'm an open sore waiting to be poked and he knows it. I should just forge ahead and say it, just to spite him. "Fine," I growl. "You want to know what I've figured out, Aya-kun? You want to know what might be going on here?"

He blinks at me. "Yes."

I swallow. Here we go. "I… I think that I may have feelings for you that go beyond friendship," I say matter-o-factly. I can't believe that I just said that. I can't believe I managed to go through with it so effortlessly.

He stares at me passively. Why the hell can't he respond in some way? I thought we got over this shit. He crosses his arms across his chest and turns to look back out the window. Great, just turn and look away. "That's what you've figured out?"

"Yes," I say, my voice croaking, but still defiant.

"You've just come to this realization? That's cute, Ken. And how do you want me to feel about that?"

This is more than I can take

"Fuck off, Aya," I spit. "What the hell do I care how you feel? You're the one who wanted me to open up to you, and I did! And this is what fucking happened; you got to me. So if you feel justified in taking that and rubbing my face in it, then go ahead and mess with my emotions. After all, I really shouldn't expect any more from you… self- absorbed, sadistic, bastard that you are."

His body tenses. He's angry. He turns and glares at me, I want to wither up, but I force myself to stay resolute. If he's going to mock me about it he's not going to get the satisfaction of seeing it bother me. He moves towards me, stands before me, and looks like he's going to say something. I stare up at him impudently. He uncrosses his arms and slaps me, backhand. His lip curls in a snarl and he stalks out of my room.

As I hear the door slam shut the tears start to come. They spill down my stinging cheek and then I'm sobbing again. I can't take this crying myself to sleep thing another night. That didn't go well. Shit, and now I've said it; I've said something I can't take back. I want it to all go away. I curl up on my bed again and keep on crying.

I try to tell myself it's alright. No big deal. Settle down, Ken. Settle down. It's ok. Just calm down.

I don't hear the door open again. I don't hear Aya come quietly back into the room, or hear him cross to me. It isn't until I feel him sit down beside me that I know he's there. I try to turn away from him. Great, he's come back to mock me some more, and here I am crying like a little girl. But he doesn't say anything cruel and touches my arm gently and then he pulls me up off the bed and into his arms. It's warm.

"I'm so sorry, Ken. Forgive me, I shouldn't have gotten angry, but you can be such an ass. I can't be the cause of your tears two nights in a row."

His words swim around in my head for a moment as I try to make them make sense.  I can't stop the crying, the shaking.  I'm making such a fool of myself. 

"I'm sorry, Aya," I choke. I can't hold myself up; I slump feebly against his body, my hands gripping his shirt like claws. He actually pulls me closer. He –holds- me. What the hell is wrong with the world?! When did God die and flip the switch to 'random acts of chaos?'

"I-I'm so sorry, Aya-kun. I don't know what's wrong with me," I hiss. I push away from him and scoot back on my bed.

I can't even look at him. I've really gotten myself in deep this time. Things are never going to be the same again. My friendship with Aya is as good as DOA. And all because I had to give into my human tendency towards bisexuality. I hug myself.

He moves closer to me. He reaches out to touch my arm. I shiver at the touch. I don't want him to see but he does.

"Ken…." His voice has a quality I've never heard before. It's painful to hear, but it makes my heart beat faster. He reaches out again and takes my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him. He's such a bastard. Before I can respond he pulls my face to his and kisses me. His kiss is unexpectedly soft and sweet. I think I feel the gentlest touch of his tongue on my lips; his hand caresses my face. My eyes sting as more tears begin to fall. My stomach knots in the most wonderful way. I can't breath, but I don't want to.

He releases me and pulls away just slightly so that our foreheads touch. I'm breathing heavily. He wipes a tear away with his thumb. "It's ok, Ken," he says softly. His voice is so strong.

"But it's not," I whisper back. I'm really scared now. I hadn't planned on this. I'd never planned on this. I was content to feel from afar, but this was totally unexpected.

"Yes, it is," he says more forcefully.

I look up at him. His eyes are so open, so kind, just waiting. He tilts my chin back up so that I have to look at him. "It's ok," he says again, gently, so reassuring. I want to believe him, but something doesn't want to let go.

"Aya, don't mess with me. You wouldn't mess with me like this would you? Please, don't…." I whisper.

He smiles at me, his eyes are so soft. "Everything's fine, Ken-kun." He kisses me again, more forcefully this time. There's desire behind his kiss, desire for me. I definitely feel his tongue run along my lips and query for entrance. I deny access, I'm not ready for that. Not just yet. I'm not ready for any of this really; especially not the way Aya is kissing me. But the way it makes me feel… the way it makes my whole body ache like this.

I break away from him, pushing against his shoulders. Then I clutch him feverishly and bury my face against his shoulder. "I love you, Aya," I gasp. As soon as I say it, I know it's true. He makes a funny choking sound and tilts my head away from him, kissing me again. This time he doesn't ask for entrance, he just takes it. I've never been kissed like this, not even with Yuriko. Sure, she and I fooled around, but I've never been on this end of things. It's too much; I'm feeling too much. The way Aya is all over me, it's terrifying.

I know that I love Aya; I can't deny it now. But I'm not sure that I am ready to -desire- Aya. That's a whole other world. But I can feel his passion for me; his desire for me is riding on his lips. Suddenly I feel his hand slip under my shirt. He's touching my skin, his cool fingers against my stomach. I tremble, and pull away.

He releases me immediately. He looks into my eyes and I have to look away. "What's wrong, Ken?"

I laugh hollowly. "Look, Aya… please just, take it easy, ok? Please, I need this to be… much slower. I'm not ready for all this, I'm scared."

His eyes melt me. He's so open. He smiles the sweetest smile I've ever seen. He touches my face again, caresses my cheek, brushes my hair aside. I reach out to him. I wrap my arms around his chest, I pull him closer to me. This I can handle. The closeness of our bodies, the warmth is so nice. He holds me, cradles me against his chest and whispers in my ear.

"Thank you, Ken. Thank you for telling me."

I press my face against his neck. "What about you? What have you figured out?" I ask.

He snorts and nuzzles my ear. It feels funny, but I like it. "I've loved you…." He trails of.

"How long?" I ask against him.

"Long enough." I want him to kiss me again. I tell him so.

I lean back and meet his lips. He lets me set the parameters. Soft, gentle, that's all I can handle right now. I feel like I'm about to fall into a million pieces. We play touch and go, it's so nice. I love the way it makes my stomach feel. I run my fingers through his hair. It's cool and soft just like the rest of him. He smells so good. When we finally pull away from each other I lie back down on my bed and stretch my arms high over my head. I'm suddenly very sleepy.

Emotional overload.

He follows me down after a moment and leans over me. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he wants more. This frightens me. But I also know that he'd never force me. So I feel safe nonetheless. He looks down into my eyes. I stare up at him adoringly. This is really weird, but I like it.

"I have two rules if this is going to happen, Ken. No clichés. No, 'I need you like the desert needs the rain' shit. Ever. And no cute nicknames. No sweet-lumps, no sugar daddy, no honey-pie, no bunny, no pooh- bear," he growls.

I look up at him blandly. "No nicknames at all? Not even one?"

He thinks about this for a moment. "Ok, one. Pick now."

"Right now?"

"Right now."

"Umm… ok. Can I call you 'big-red?'" I ask jokingly, yanking on one of his ear tails.

He glares at me. "Absolutely not."

I laugh. "Fine. Can I call you 'koibito1?'"

Aya blinks at me and then smiles and nods. I can tell he likes that.

"Can I call you 'koi2'?"

He rolls his eyes. "If you must."

I smile up and him and reach a hand up to trace his jaw. I like touching him. It feels nice to just be able to touch him. "What about me? Do I get a nickname?" I ask.

"Kenken."

I roll my eyes. "Half the population of Japan already calls me that. It's annoying."

"Well, now I'll call you that too, only when I say it… you won't think it's annoying anymore, because it means I love you."

"I think your logic is flawed, koi, but if you want to call me Kenken, I won't say you can't since nobody else listens when I do."

"Glad we got that straight."

I peer up at him. I blink and look away. "What?" he asks, he's getting testy.

"I want a better nickname…." I begin.

He leans down to whisper in my ear. "I'll call you 'aité3,' but not in public."

"Oh, koibito, you are so cutting edge. What will the neighbors think?" I roll my eyes and stick out my tongue.

Aya glares and then kisses me again, taking my tongue into his mouth. I tense up immediately, my hands clutch my bed cover as Aya sucks gently on my tongue. He's inviting me to explore, but I'm not sure I want to. After a moment I force myself to relax, his hand is moving lazily over my chest, I sigh into him and move my tongue against his. He pushes back. Then we're playing a kind of game. It's like a thumb war… only it isn't anything at all like a thumb war. At all. It's a million times better. I like the way it feels to be a little aggressive.

Aya suddenly stops. He freezes, his body tense. I stop too, reacting to him. Did he suddenly come to his senses and realize that he's making out with me on my bed? Did the demon that had possessed his body suddenly remember that it had a previous engagement in Hokkaido? I pull away, afraid of what I might see in his eyes.

"Aya?" I say nervously.

"Shh," he hisses. "I hear Youji and Omi coming upstairs." He leans down and kisses my forehead. I stare up at him with adoring eyes. He stands and walks to the door. He opens it a crack and then looks back at me. I can't move. I'm exhausted on my bed. "Good night, aité," he calls softly. He walks out of my room and closes the door. I fall back against my pillow and stare up at the ceiling.

Holy shit.


1 As we all should know by now koibito means "lover" or "beloved" or "boyfriend" etc.

2 Again we all probably know that koi is a short form for koibito and also that the word itself means "love" so in a sense calling someone koi is like using the more British term of endearment of calling someone "love"

3Aité literally means "partner" or "team mate" it has no romantic connotation whatsoever.  Aya could call any of the other members of Weiss aité and no one would look at him funny or anything.  Aya using this word is just my little play on Aya's dry sense of humor, seeing as Ken is his partner both literally and in the connotation that "partner" holds in English.  Ok?  Ok.  

Comments: And there you have it chapter two. ^_^ Thanks for all the comments, guys (you know who you are). I really appreciate it. I'll try to get this up as fast as I can. And I really do suggest that everybody go out and rent "Brother" today. NOW!! Really, it's one of my favorite movies of all time and the soundtrack is spectacular. *loves on Joe Hisaishi*. He's the composer who did the music for Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Kaze no Tani no Nausicaa and just about every other Hayao Miyazaki movie out there. Like Ken said, what more can you ask for?! Hope you enjoyed! Chapter three will be up in the next few days. Oh, and just to let you know Ink, the collab I started with Fei, is being updated too. ~_^ It's only been like half a year. LOL So keep your eyes open for chapter four of that as well. ^_^.

Disclaimer: If the boys were mine I'd put them to better use than this inane drivel.