Spectral's Evil and Insane Zoids Themed Talk Show Type Show

By, Spectral

Insanity comes in many forms this is one of the more pleasant ones…

Disclaimer: Spectral doesn't own zoids or its characters. He owns this story and its plot but not Zoids or it characters.

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Mr. Censor: Live from a studio somewhere in Limbo, it's Spectral's Zoid Themed Talk Show! Here's your host, Spectral!

            Spectral appeared in a cloud of smoke. The audience applauded. Spectral tried to quiet them but they wouldn't stop. He tried again with no progress. The audience quickly became silent when Spectral pulled a flamethrower out of subspace.

Spectral: Thank you, thank you. Well I've come up with some sort of talk show-like show. It will feature Zoids characters from all three series, some zoid battles, zombies, explosions, maniacal laughter, insanity, and some other zoid related stuff that I'll make up as we go along. That sound good?

Audience: Yes!

One guy in Audience: No!

Spectral: That's it! I've had just about enough of you! I DUMMON THE MIGHTY BLACK DRAGON!

            The Dragon appeared and roared. It then opened its mouth and shot a stream of fire and acid at the guy in the audience. The guy then fell to a pile of dust.

Spectral: Thanks, Dragon!

            The dragon roared and then stomped into the shadows. Shadow walked over to his desk and sat down. The buttons of doom appeared on his desk and he turned to the audience.

Spectral: Well, before we begin…are there questions for me?

Mr. Censor: yes, the first one's from… Dragon Vaylor wants to know when Jamie will be on the show.

Spectral: Chapter 8. Next question please…

Mr. Censor: Plink wants to know…"if you ever track down Prozen, I'd like to ask permission to come on your show and abduct him. *evil grin*"

Spectral: I am tracking Prozen at this very moment. For some reason he seems to be avoiding this show… and you can come to try and take him away when he's on the show. You just have to get past the attack robots…

Mr. Censor: Shadow Vixen offers a new weapon…

Spectral: Okay. New weapons are always welcome!

Mr. Censor: That's all the questions…

Spectral: Okay then…our first guest is, *looks at card* Bit Cloud.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *picks up watermelon*

Audience: *silence*

Spectral: *throws watermelon into subspace* MINIONS! RETRIEVE BIT CLOUD!

            Two zombies rose from the ground and walked through a dimensional portal. They returned with a very frightened Bit Cloud. They threw him into a chair next to Spectral's desk and then sank into the shadows.

Spectral: Hi Bit!

Bit: Those were zombies…

Spectral: Yes now shut up. You're on this show to answer questions…

Bit: Okay, ask your questions then.

Spectral: Very well *cards suddenly appear in hand* The first question is from… HealerAriel. She wants to know…"Bit, you know what? You're cuuuuuuute!! Did you know that? And I think you and Leena are really cute together, by the way. And, um, will you go out with me? The same as with Brad, I'd pay you to, I just want to bask in the glory of your adorableness! Ciao, my cutie!"

Bit: Uhh…thanks…I think and you can come along to the next battle I'm in.

Spectral: Okay…the next question's from… *looks at card which has mysteriously caught fire* Serena. She wishes to know…"Bit will you go out with me? Liger is the coolest zoid. He is my favorite. I have a model of him in my room. You are my favorite pilot."

Bit: You can come to the next battle too.

Spectral: *randomly setting things on by touching them* *notices the camera* What? Oh….uhhh the next question is from…*looks at flaming card* Shadow Fox-b4k4, who wants to know…"at least how many times a week does Leena knock you out? The same goes for the times you steal her food. Also, how is it that you're so flexible that you can use your foot to eat with, like in the first episode?"

Bit: About 5 for the first two and it's really not that hard to eat with your feet. Have you ever tried?

Spectral: *throws burning card at Bit* I'll ask the questions on this show. The next one's from…Schala85. She says you're the "biggest, idiot, jerk, etc., etc. in Zoids Zero"

Bit: I'm not an idiot or a jerk…

Spectral: Whatever you say…Hog of Hedges asks…"What happens when you run out of luck in battle?"

Bit: I don't need luck to win my battles.

Spectral: And…"What would you do if you couldn't pilot the Liger Zero, say, if someone slightly evil, like say me, blew it up? Hypothetically speaking, of course. *Heheheh SUCKER!*"

Bit: Well, first I'd hurt you, and then I'd rebuild the liger.

Spectral: HOLD IT! No one is going to blow up the Liger Zero, got it Mr. "Slightly Evil"? If you blow it up, I can't steal it! And that's not a good thing for the person who blew up the zoid I was trying to steal.

Bit: What do you mean steal the Liger Zero?

Spectral: Uhh…nothing. The next question's from…*looks at flaming card* Dragon Vaylor. She wishes to know…"Why do you steal Leena's food? Will you date Leena? What Zoid would you rather have the Liger Zero or the Liger Zero X??"

Bit: The food doesn't have her name on it…, maybe…and what is a Liger Zero X?

Spectral: NEXT QUESTION! It's from…Fire Fox *pauses for dramatic music*. That's it! Where's that coming from?!

Mr. Censor: How should I know?

Spectral: Well find out!

Mr. Censor: Very well…

Spectral: Any way… Fire Fox*dramatic music*…wishes to know…"Why do you beat up little kids? I mean Vega was, what, like ten."

Bit: I don't beat up little kids. Vega was a skilled zoid warrior. He knew what he was getting into.

Spectral: Vega scares me…but anyway… the next question's from Shadow Vixen. She wants to know how you keep your hair like that.

Bit: This is just how my hair looks all the time..

Spectral: …moving on…Mistress of all Worlds has some questions. They are…" Who do you like? Would you rather go on a date with Mary Champ or Leena? Which do you like more, Leena or cookies?"

Bit: No comment, Leena, and Leena again.

Spectral: *sets desk on fire**looks up* Umm… the next question is from…the guy with the Masamune, I mean Shiro Amayagi. He wants to know…"Can you honestly claim that you're a good pilot? Is it not the Liger Zero that won all your battles? Sheesh, your ancestor, Van, was actually a good pilot. HIS power was what made the Blade Liger stronger, not vice versa..."

Bit: Of course I'm a good pilot! I won the Royal Cup didn't I? And the Liger wouldn't let me pilot it if I wasn't.

Spectral: *with new "not on fire" desk* The next question is from…Kristy. She wants to know…" if you had a choice would you date Jamie or leena? why are you an idiot?"

Bit: Hmm…Leena or Jamie…Jamie or Leena. I don't know.. it's too hard to choose. How about both? And…I AM NOT AN IDIOT!

Spectral: That was the last question…

Bit: I can leave then?

Spectral: Yes. ZOMBIES! Escort Mr. Cloud out of the building.

Bit: Zombies!?!?!

            A wave of the undead picked up Bit and carried him out of the studio.

Spectral: We'll be back after this commercial break.

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10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…0…MAKE THINGS GO BOOM NOW!
*commercial explodes*

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Spectral: We're back.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *holds up giant poisonous cobra*

Audience: *silence*

Spectral: That's better. Let's get the next guest out here.

            A really scary looking yellow robot flies into the studio. It drops Hiltz in the chair next to Spectral's desk and then flies away.

Spectral: Hello Hiltz…

Hiltz: Hello.

Spectral: The first question we have for you is from…HealerAriel. She wishes to know…" Hiltz, you're a bad, bad man. Why are you so nasty all the time? Would you like some of my Prozac? I've got plenty, and it'll put you in a better mood - it's a prescription antidepressant. Oh, and is your hair naturally like that, or do you spend millions of bucks on hair care products?"

Hiltz: Because I can be and I don't want any of your stupid "Prozac"! Oh…and my hair is naturally red like this.

Spectral: You're certainly a pleasant person. The next questions are from…*looks at card and evil smile forms* Biowolf! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!*lightning strikes and evil music plays*

Hiltz: B-B-B-B-B-Biowolf…

Spectral: Seeing as how there are so many questions I'll just give Hiltz the card and he'll read off answers to you…

Hiltz: *takes card* No, No, Still No, They must all be destroyed, Ambient constantly annoys me…he even died my hair pink while I was asleep one time…,who? , No, I said no…, leave me alone you psycho!, and finally, I belong to no one!

Spectral: *not paying attention* You're finished? Good. The next question is from…*looks at card that has suddenly turned to water* Schala85. She says…"Biowolf's out to get you, bwahahahaha!!! She'll capture you in an object no bigger than a baseball, bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!"

Hiltz: She'll never catch me!

Spectral: Yes she will. The next question is from Hog of Hedges. "What is it like being incredibly evil?"

Hiltz: It's fun being evil, there's just so much to do! Plus you get the cool clothes, a really creepy laugh, and a really powerful weapon.

Spectral: Being evil is incredibly fun! You even get your own talk show! But moving on…also from H of H…" What is it like using the Death Stinger and killing stuff?"

Hiltz: Fun.

Spectral: That's it?

Hiltz: Yes.

Spectral: Then the next question is from…*looks at stone tablet* Fire Fox*pauses for dramatic music* … she wishes to know…"Why did you want to kill Raven? AND have you ever cried during a Disney movie?"

Hiltz: I want to kill everyone but Ambient, and NEVER! I have never cried during a Disney movie!

Spectral: *holds up pictures* Yes you have. Shadow isn't the only one with cameras all over the place. ZOMBIE!

            A zombie rises from the ground and limps over.

Spectral: Bring these pictures to Fire Fox*pauses for dramatic music*…

            The zombie took the pictures and walked through a dimensional portal.

Spectral: The next questions come from Mistress of all Worlds. They are…"Would you rather be dumped into a pit full of sharks then be locked in a room with Biowolf for an hour? Why are you somewhat psycho? Can I have the Death stinger? How many cities have you destroyed? Who would you rather go on a date with, Reese or Biowolf?"

Hiltz: I'll take the sharks, I just am, no!, 178, and neither. They both scare me.

Spectral: 178? That's it? Please, I've destroyed thousands of cities…anyway…next set of questions is from…*looks at leaf* Plink. She wants to know…"Did you find Riece annoying? What about Raven? Did his attitude bother you in the way he acted towards you?
*tugs his jacket* What was it like piloting the DeathStinger?!
Mmm...I have one last question, and I may not like the answer...do you mind fan girls? *close to swooning* fan girls like me?
*looks around to see if Biowolf is looking, then whispers* There was one last question, but I don't want it answered. *one last hug*"

Hiltz: *creeped out* Yes, Yes, fun, and Fan girls are the bane of my existence! They must all be destroyed!

Spectral: Shiro Amayagi asks…"D'you love Reise? How about Raven? Prozen? Oh yeah, and tell Ambient to GET THE MILK, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THREE YEARS!!!"

Hiltz: No…no…no…and no…

Spectral: Ya know what… ROBOTS!

            Two Z Series Spectral Assault Robots fly out of the shadows. Spectral hands them each a crate of milk.

Spectral: Bring those to Shiro Amayagi!

            The robots nodded then flew through a dimensional portal.

Spectral: The next question is from…Pink Blade Liger. It wishes to know why you killed Raven.

Hiltz: But I didn't kill Raven…yet…

Spectral: The final question is…remember when you stopped me from stealing Ambient?

Hiltz: Yes…
Spectral: Then it's time for you to pay! To Biowolf's you go!*pushes button*

Hiltz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

            A Dimensional Portal that leads directly to Biowolf opens up and sucks Hiltz in.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *cracks knuckles*

Audience: *silence*

Spectral: Next time we'll have Jamie and Thomas on the show! See ya next time!

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Next Time:

Jamie and Thomas