Dirty pair / excel saga chapter 4
"Il-Palazzo-sama and Gooley-sama, welcome to my apartment!!"
"Why are we here, Excel-kun?" Il-Palazzo asked.
"Yeah, Excel, what's with the pizza boxes?" Gooley grabbed a cold slice of pizza from where he sat and stared at it. Why couldn't Excel invite him when the pizza was fresh?
"Our comedy is not good enough! We must pull out all of the stops to win the fans over!" Excel shouted.
"Yay, sempai!" Hyatt chirped.
"Thank you, ha-chan!"
"How do you propose we do that, Excel-kun?" Il-Palazzo crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair he declared was his upon his arrival.
"Good question!" Excel scratched her head and thought.
"We need more puchus!!" Nabeshin appeared and a horde of puchus flooded the room.
"No PUCHUUS!!!" the author rewrote it and it continued.
"awww," Nabeshin sulked and walked away.
"We need more action!" Excel chimed again.
Two ladies walked in with a couple arm loads of guns and ammunition. "Hello, Excel, Hyatt, Gooooleey, and Il-Palazzo-sama," Kei smiled. She had darted her eyes at Gooley when she said his name.
"Yo," they all said. They were worn out from the previous fics.
"Hey, Kei, let's do something new," Yuri offered.
"What?"
"A serious fan fic!"
"Been done," Excel shrugged.
"Do it anyway!" Il-Palazzo pulled a rope and sent her down the hole from within her own apartment.
Puchuu *stamp*
--
The dungeon deep within Across headquarters smelled of rotting flesh and fresh tomatoes. Chained to the walls with arms above her head and feet spread out below her was a woman drenched in blood. Cuts and bruises from lashing had left her all but dead. She was still alive by sheer will power and divine devotion to her boss.
"Il-Palazzo." she coughed blood and fell asleep from exhaustion.
Above her rested the great throne room of Across. It was a dark room with few decorations. The organization thought it best to devote all funds to clothes and operations. A woman with dark hair and a funny red and black costume with a white frilly skirt raised her hand into the air. "Hail Il- Palazzo-sama!" she was proud that she could utter those gracious words. She had not uttered them so clearly and completely in a long time since being at the organization. The blood in her body was Martian in nature and left her very anemic. The room offered her no means of absorbing life force to keep her healthy. She knew she would collapse any second now but remained with a hint of a smile and eager anticipation for her bosses request of her.
"I trust Excel was beaten properly?" Il-Palazzo asked from his throne. He had long blue hair and tiny reading glasses upon his nose. His robe made his body look a lot larger than he really was. He was a force to be reckoned with. His eyes have seen a great many battles and rock concerts which both have left him with the toughest job in the world. He didn't get many benefits or pay to boot.
"Yes, Il-pa," Hyatt's eyes rolled back, blood ran down her nose and she collapsed upon the ground in a pile of flesh. She had died again.
Life is too short to die so soon. Il-Pallazzo rubbed his forehead and adjusted his glasses. "Hyatt?" he asked.
"Yes?" Hyatt tried to get up having regained life again. Was a funny thing to recover from death so easily, but it was nothing new to the Across organization. Immortals were hard to come by. It was worth getting what they could.
"I have a mission for you and Excel, first I have to bring Excel up here. It's against my better judgment, but I have to do what my superiors request of me," he pulled a rope which lowered from the ceiling. He had trained in many martial arts since his youth and was highly regarded in the Across organization. He has developed a new kind of chi which allowed a form of telekinesis. He could call a rope down he needed with but a thought. The rope was attached to various devices in the ceiling which in turn activated various trap doors and other functions from with in the room. He had sold cookies door to door to fund such special features. He had also done a concert, but that did not go very well. He was proud of the room and the power he could throw around. He loved being a leader.
Excel's chains were let go and she at once made her way to the main room from a trap door which was opened above her. Her wounds disappeared and a huge smile with a fang appeared on her face. "Hail Lord Il-Palazzo- samaaaa!"
"I see you are feeling better, Excel-kun," Il-Palazzo tried to avoid showing his hatred for her. Hyatt was much more his type. Excel would never shut up and would always blow ideas out of proportion. No wonder the Across missions have failed time and time again.
"Yes Il-Palazzo-sama, I have survived your gothic tribal ritual!" she continued to salute her boss. She absolutely adored him and craved to be in bed with him. She couldn't let him know, not on purpose anyways. She would do anything for him.
"Gothic? Ahem, never mind, Excel-kun, Hyatt-kun, I have a mission for the two of you. I was informed that we are under investigation by Worlds Welfare and Works Association. They have sent in two of their top ranking recruits to see if our organization is a threat to the planet earth or not. I want you two to do charity work across F-city to show them otherwise, understand?"
"Yes," Hyatt said uneasily. She was not feeling well and may have to be dragged out of the room. Sunshine would be great. Fresh air, animals, grass, she fell over again.
"Ah, Ha-chan! You died again!" Excel also had the knack of pointing out the obvious. She would have to carry her out of the room once again it seems.
"Do not try to take over the city, world or anything within it! Understand?" Il-Palazzo had stood up to throw some weight around. He could not afford having Across taken from him by the 3WA.
"Yes, my sexy Lord Il-Palazzo-sama! Charity work, we'll have this city so clean it'll stand as the capital of the world fro the great Organization of across!!"
"Very well then, dismissed," Il-Palazzo sat back down and crossed his arms. Excel was the one reason he hated his job, but in a few moments he would be out of his hair.
"Let's go Ha-chan!" Excel grabbed her partner and ran out of the door for the many generic streets of the generic city known as f-city. "Where to first Ha-chan?" Excel was smiling strong as usual. No worries of the world could break her expression. Well there was only hunger. "Shut up, stomach! I'll tend to you later! I must clean the city! Come, Ha-chan!" she dragged the rather dead and dying martian princess behind her as she ran down the street.
"Ah, I know! I'll clean this street here!" Excel looked around and found no garbage. The street was clean. "This is no good! I can't clean a street that has no garbage!"
High above them on the roof of one of the building perched two more agents. One was wearing a puffed up wolf hair do while the other let her long black hair flow behind her. That one had binoculars and was watching Excel.
"Kei," the one with black hair asked, "Do you suppose Across is really an organization trying to conquer the world one city at a time?"
"Well that's what our boss said," Kei shrugged. She had been partners with Yuri ever since they met in highschool. Their personalities were vastly different to the point that they became good friends. They fought and bickered often over everything, but it was the best way they worked together. No mission was ever easy and every mission meant life or death for them. They saw the world as people see the news. The people were real, but the casualties did not affect them. Time had gone on since they started off as Trouble consultants and now every casualty hurts them. They remained as Tro-cons in hopes of redeeming their reputation and ending the evil that plagues the universe.
"What the hell is she doing?" the long haired agent muttered. She was still watching the action down below.
"Gimme, those, Yuri," Kei rudely grabbed them and looked down at the street far below. The agent they knew as Excel was tossing garbage all over the street and then cleaning the mess she made. "She's tossing garbage and then cleaning it, I don't get it," Kei handed the binoculars back only to have them just as rudely ripped away from her hand. She ignored the point Yuri made in so doing.
"Should we report in?" Yuri asked.
"Nah, let's get our street clothes together and walk the streets. Maybe we can find some guys," Kei walked for the stairwell a few yards across the roof of the building.
"Yeah, sounds great!"
--
will excel get caught? Will kei get a man? Will anyone read this? Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of 'we need more fans and this experiment better not fail this time'
"Il-Palazzo-sama and Gooley-sama, welcome to my apartment!!"
"Why are we here, Excel-kun?" Il-Palazzo asked.
"Yeah, Excel, what's with the pizza boxes?" Gooley grabbed a cold slice of pizza from where he sat and stared at it. Why couldn't Excel invite him when the pizza was fresh?
"Our comedy is not good enough! We must pull out all of the stops to win the fans over!" Excel shouted.
"Yay, sempai!" Hyatt chirped.
"Thank you, ha-chan!"
"How do you propose we do that, Excel-kun?" Il-Palazzo crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair he declared was his upon his arrival.
"Good question!" Excel scratched her head and thought.
"We need more puchus!!" Nabeshin appeared and a horde of puchus flooded the room.
"No PUCHUUS!!!" the author rewrote it and it continued.
"awww," Nabeshin sulked and walked away.
"We need more action!" Excel chimed again.
Two ladies walked in with a couple arm loads of guns and ammunition. "Hello, Excel, Hyatt, Gooooleey, and Il-Palazzo-sama," Kei smiled. She had darted her eyes at Gooley when she said his name.
"Yo," they all said. They were worn out from the previous fics.
"Hey, Kei, let's do something new," Yuri offered.
"What?"
"A serious fan fic!"
"Been done," Excel shrugged.
"Do it anyway!" Il-Palazzo pulled a rope and sent her down the hole from within her own apartment.
Puchuu *stamp*
--
The dungeon deep within Across headquarters smelled of rotting flesh and fresh tomatoes. Chained to the walls with arms above her head and feet spread out below her was a woman drenched in blood. Cuts and bruises from lashing had left her all but dead. She was still alive by sheer will power and divine devotion to her boss.
"Il-Palazzo." she coughed blood and fell asleep from exhaustion.
Above her rested the great throne room of Across. It was a dark room with few decorations. The organization thought it best to devote all funds to clothes and operations. A woman with dark hair and a funny red and black costume with a white frilly skirt raised her hand into the air. "Hail Il- Palazzo-sama!" she was proud that she could utter those gracious words. She had not uttered them so clearly and completely in a long time since being at the organization. The blood in her body was Martian in nature and left her very anemic. The room offered her no means of absorbing life force to keep her healthy. She knew she would collapse any second now but remained with a hint of a smile and eager anticipation for her bosses request of her.
"I trust Excel was beaten properly?" Il-Palazzo asked from his throne. He had long blue hair and tiny reading glasses upon his nose. His robe made his body look a lot larger than he really was. He was a force to be reckoned with. His eyes have seen a great many battles and rock concerts which both have left him with the toughest job in the world. He didn't get many benefits or pay to boot.
"Yes, Il-pa," Hyatt's eyes rolled back, blood ran down her nose and she collapsed upon the ground in a pile of flesh. She had died again.
Life is too short to die so soon. Il-Pallazzo rubbed his forehead and adjusted his glasses. "Hyatt?" he asked.
"Yes?" Hyatt tried to get up having regained life again. Was a funny thing to recover from death so easily, but it was nothing new to the Across organization. Immortals were hard to come by. It was worth getting what they could.
"I have a mission for you and Excel, first I have to bring Excel up here. It's against my better judgment, but I have to do what my superiors request of me," he pulled a rope which lowered from the ceiling. He had trained in many martial arts since his youth and was highly regarded in the Across organization. He has developed a new kind of chi which allowed a form of telekinesis. He could call a rope down he needed with but a thought. The rope was attached to various devices in the ceiling which in turn activated various trap doors and other functions from with in the room. He had sold cookies door to door to fund such special features. He had also done a concert, but that did not go very well. He was proud of the room and the power he could throw around. He loved being a leader.
Excel's chains were let go and she at once made her way to the main room from a trap door which was opened above her. Her wounds disappeared and a huge smile with a fang appeared on her face. "Hail Lord Il-Palazzo- samaaaa!"
"I see you are feeling better, Excel-kun," Il-Palazzo tried to avoid showing his hatred for her. Hyatt was much more his type. Excel would never shut up and would always blow ideas out of proportion. No wonder the Across missions have failed time and time again.
"Yes Il-Palazzo-sama, I have survived your gothic tribal ritual!" she continued to salute her boss. She absolutely adored him and craved to be in bed with him. She couldn't let him know, not on purpose anyways. She would do anything for him.
"Gothic? Ahem, never mind, Excel-kun, Hyatt-kun, I have a mission for the two of you. I was informed that we are under investigation by Worlds Welfare and Works Association. They have sent in two of their top ranking recruits to see if our organization is a threat to the planet earth or not. I want you two to do charity work across F-city to show them otherwise, understand?"
"Yes," Hyatt said uneasily. She was not feeling well and may have to be dragged out of the room. Sunshine would be great. Fresh air, animals, grass, she fell over again.
"Ah, Ha-chan! You died again!" Excel also had the knack of pointing out the obvious. She would have to carry her out of the room once again it seems.
"Do not try to take over the city, world or anything within it! Understand?" Il-Palazzo had stood up to throw some weight around. He could not afford having Across taken from him by the 3WA.
"Yes, my sexy Lord Il-Palazzo-sama! Charity work, we'll have this city so clean it'll stand as the capital of the world fro the great Organization of across!!"
"Very well then, dismissed," Il-Palazzo sat back down and crossed his arms. Excel was the one reason he hated his job, but in a few moments he would be out of his hair.
"Let's go Ha-chan!" Excel grabbed her partner and ran out of the door for the many generic streets of the generic city known as f-city. "Where to first Ha-chan?" Excel was smiling strong as usual. No worries of the world could break her expression. Well there was only hunger. "Shut up, stomach! I'll tend to you later! I must clean the city! Come, Ha-chan!" she dragged the rather dead and dying martian princess behind her as she ran down the street.
"Ah, I know! I'll clean this street here!" Excel looked around and found no garbage. The street was clean. "This is no good! I can't clean a street that has no garbage!"
High above them on the roof of one of the building perched two more agents. One was wearing a puffed up wolf hair do while the other let her long black hair flow behind her. That one had binoculars and was watching Excel.
"Kei," the one with black hair asked, "Do you suppose Across is really an organization trying to conquer the world one city at a time?"
"Well that's what our boss said," Kei shrugged. She had been partners with Yuri ever since they met in highschool. Their personalities were vastly different to the point that they became good friends. They fought and bickered often over everything, but it was the best way they worked together. No mission was ever easy and every mission meant life or death for them. They saw the world as people see the news. The people were real, but the casualties did not affect them. Time had gone on since they started off as Trouble consultants and now every casualty hurts them. They remained as Tro-cons in hopes of redeeming their reputation and ending the evil that plagues the universe.
"What the hell is she doing?" the long haired agent muttered. She was still watching the action down below.
"Gimme, those, Yuri," Kei rudely grabbed them and looked down at the street far below. The agent they knew as Excel was tossing garbage all over the street and then cleaning the mess she made. "She's tossing garbage and then cleaning it, I don't get it," Kei handed the binoculars back only to have them just as rudely ripped away from her hand. She ignored the point Yuri made in so doing.
"Should we report in?" Yuri asked.
"Nah, let's get our street clothes together and walk the streets. Maybe we can find some guys," Kei walked for the stairwell a few yards across the roof of the building.
"Yeah, sounds great!"
--
will excel get caught? Will kei get a man? Will anyone read this? Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of 'we need more fans and this experiment better not fail this time'