Spectral's Evil and Insane Zoids Themed Talk Show Type Show

By, Spectral

Insanity comes in many forms this is one of the more pleasant ones…

Disclaimer: Spectral doesn't own zoids or its characters. He owns this story and its plot but not Zoids or it characters.

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Mr. Censor: Live from a studio somewhere in Limbo, it's Spectral's Zoid Themed Talk Show! Here's your host, Spectral!

            Spectral appeared in a cloud of smoke. The audience applauded. Spectral tried to quiet them but they wouldn't stop. He tried again with no progress. The audience quickly became silent when Spectral pulled a flamethrower out of subspace.

Spectral: Thank you, thank you. Well I've come up with some sort of talk show-like show. It will feature Zoids characters from all three series, some zoid battles, zombies, explosions, maniacal laughter, insanity, and some other zoid related stuff that I'll make up as we go along. That sound good?

Audience: Yes!

One guy in Audience: No!

Spectral: *snaps fingers*

            The guy is sent to the Shadow Realm as Spectral walks over to his desk and sits down. The buttons of doom appear and Spectral picks up the cards.

Spectral: As usual, we'll start off with questions for me.

Mr. Censor: The first one's from Schala85. She asks, "I don't think I've asked you this, but are you bring Stigma into this?"

Spectral: Yes…Stoller will be here…soon…next chapter to be exact…

Mr. Censor: Plink sends a new part for your flamethrower.

Spectral: Really?!?!*takes part and combines with flamethrower. Sets to amusing Death* This will be fun.

Mr. Censor: Thanks a lot, plink. Now he'll be burning things and shooting burning oil at people all day after the show…the next question is from…Shiro Amayagi. Here's what he says, "These are mainly gifts. I think your essence is Terror, so you can have the Amonblade. What? I need people to help me annihilate the Mary Sues...Lei has the Erimblade and I have the Masamune/Gadesblade (it's called both things)...and you'll need this power to unleash the sword itself. Ancient Text: Spiritual Force of Terror. That's all for the gifts..."

Spectral: *chops desk in half with Amonblade* Sure, I'll help with the annihilation, and thanks for the blade and ancient text!

Mr. Censor: Why me…the next questions are from Serena. She asks, "Spectral when will Van and Zeke be on the show? And can you interview Liger Zero?" Also…"Spectral please tell Hog of Hedges a.k.a. Mr. "Slightly Evil" that if he dares touch the Liger Zero or Bit I'll beat the living daylights outta him. Same for you Spectral. And why don't you threaten the audience with a gundam like Wing Zero or Deathscythe Hell Custom?"

Spectral: *with new "not chopped in half by a blade of terror" desk* Uh…let's see…*pulls out book* Van and Zeke are scheduled to be a on the show…as well as the Liger Zero…so the answer to your questions is yes. And…sure I'll tell H of H but…I've already hurt Bit and I will steal the Liger Zero so…*picks up AmonBlade* you can try to attack all you want. About the gundams…I don't like the wing zero and Duo won't let me borrow the DSH…

Mr. Censor: Amy asks, "Spectral, could you come to my school and blow up some of my annoying classmates? And when will Vega be on the show?"

Spectral: Hmmm….destruction…maybe. And Vega is booked to be on the show sometime later…I'm note quite sure when though…

Mr. Censor: That's all.

Spectral: Okay… let's bring out the first guest, Thomas Shubaltz!

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *shoots them with burning oil*

Audience: *silent and crispy*

Spectral: MINIONS! Retrieve Thomas Shubaltz!

            A hole opens in the ground and a giant flaming claw rises from it. The claw drops Thomas Shubaltz in a chair next to Spectral's desk and then retreats back into the fiery underworld.

Spectral: Hello Thomas.

Thomas: Hi. It's nice to be here.

Spectral: *raises eyebrow* Oh really? I'll be sure to change that. The first question is from…*looks at card*… Anonymos. Anonymos asks," Why are you an idiot? You don't have any skill as a zoid pilot either. Why?"

Thomas: I am not an idiot and I'm one of the best Zoid pilots around!

Spectral:… *looks at card*  Mistress of all Worlds asks, "Don't you see that Fiona does not like you? Can I have your Dibison? Why are you so cocky? Can I get date with your brother, Karl? Karl is so cute! ^_^ Can I lock you in a room with hungry lions?"

Thomas: I have no idea what you're talking about, no, I am NOT, why don't you ask him? And No, you can't lock me in a room with hungry lions.

Spectral: HealerAriel asks, "You DO realize that Fiona is truly, madly, deeply in love with Van, right? I mean, you don't really have much of a chance, and you're kind of a schmuck... Why don't you just give up on Fiona and find a girl who actually likes you that way? And also, did you know that you're the only Zoids guy besides Hiltz and your brother that I haven't asked out? Don't it depress you?"

Thomas: I have no idea what you're talking about. And yes…the fact that you didn't ask me out does depress me…*depressed*

Spectral: People, please don't depress the guests. Moving on… Hog of Hedges asks, "Just what's so great about Fiona?" and, "How come you Dibison is the only one to use a Megalo-Max? Is it the whole AI unit thing?"

Thomas:  What isn't great about Fiona? She's the most beautiful girl on all of Zi! And, to answer the other question, I'm just the only one smart enough to use the Megalo-Max.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: FIRE THE MEGALO-MAX!

            A Dibison rises from the ground and fires the Megalo-Max at the audience.

Audience: *silent and once again crispy*

Spectral: The next questions are from Shadow Vixen. She asks, "Does Karl have any little dark secret that you hold over him? Anybody ever tell you our a major hottie? Do you have any other siblings besides Karl? What's life like with the "perfect sibling"? Did you really build the DiBision by yourself? Why are you so shy? And would you date me?"

Thomas: Yeah I have dark secret of Karl's. One time, I found him in the showers with those Republican officers Herman and O'Connell and they were having…

Spectral: Say another word and I may be forced to send you into the Lawyer Pit of Eternal Torment! Any other dark secrets?

Thomas: Yeah…another time I found him, Van, and that Irvine guy having…

Spectral: Lawyer Pit of Eternal Torment!…, any more dark secrets?

Thomas: Yes…another time, me and Karl had to share a bed when we went to visit our sister for a week and we had…

Spectral: Lawyer Pit of Eternal Torment!… now move along to Shadow Vixen's other questions before I get angry…

Thomas: *scared* Okay…no, no one has ever told me that, yes we have a younger sister, depressing, I didn't build the Dibison I just improved it, I am not shy, and sorry but no, thanks for asking anyway.

Spectral: The next set of questions is from…*looks at card* Schala85. She says, "Hiyas! Could you make a copy of Beek for me? I love it's cute, adorable voice! Don't listen to those people that say you're an idiot, Bit's the idiot. If you're brother is so cool, you have to have some of that...right?"

Thomas: Uhh, sure I'll send a copy of Beek to you…and I'm not sure…

Spectral:  The next questions are from…plink. Plink asks, "Like many other people out there, could I have a copy of Beke? I'm trying to make some new software of the DeathSaurer MKII and it's looking promising. I just wanna see if you've covered areas I haven't. The other question was: what is your most embarrassing moment, apart from the Cerberus episode? Anything particularly horrible you did to your older brother just to annoy him?
Any chance you and Raven might hook up?"

Thomas: Another copy of Beek…sure I'll send it over…as for my most embarrassing moment besides the Cerberus episode, the time I was walking around with my uniform on backwards. When I was younger, I had one of my machines move Karl into a tree while he was sleeping. When he woke up he fell out of the tree. Hook up with Raven…CERTAINLY NOT! Raven's got Flyheight…

Spectral: Very well…. The next questions are from…*looks at stone tablet* FireFox *pauses for dramatic music* …she asks…"Have you ever hurt yourself with that pointy thing on your battle suit in front of your face?"

Thomas: Yes, three times so far.

Spectral: Haha! The next question is from Shiro Amayagi. He asks, "Fiona's mine, y'hear?! MINE!!! But anyways, what exactly can Beak do? Does he just access Burnout (Megalomax)? Oh yeah, and...will you join the Anti-Mary Sue Movement (AMSM)?"

Thomas: NO SHE ISN'T!!!!!!! *calms down because he notices the flamethrower pointed at him* Beek is like an artificial Organoid, and what is a Mary Sue?

Spectral: Rubber Duckie wants to know, "Does it annoy you how Van+Fiona fans bash you in most fics? Ever thought of hiring Spectral for some revenge?"

Thomas: It annoys me very much and no I haven't thought of that. Spectral, can I hire you to help me get revenge?

Spectral: No.

Thomas: But why?

Spectral: *holds up bazooka and points it at Thomas*

Thomas: Oh…that's why…

Spectral: *throws bazooka into subspace* The last questions are from…*looks at card* Amy. She wants to know, "Why are you such an annoying dweeb? And why do have such a bad haircut?"

Thomas: I am not an "annoying dweeb"! And leave my hair alone… no matter what I do to it, it stays this way…

Spectral: Whatever. That was the last question, go hang out back stage we'll call you for a game later.

Thomas: Okay.

Spectral: We'll be back after this commercial break.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *EvilDeathGlare*

Audience: *scared and silent*

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Spectral: Are you constantly plagued by fan girls/fan boys? Will they just not leave you alone? Are you afraid to leave your own home? Well if that's you then I have a solution to your problem.

SPECTRAL'S NEW AND IMPROVED ANTI-INSANE FAN GIRL/FAN BOY SPRAY!

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Spectral: What the scary announcer person said…

Warning, SPECTRAL'S NEW AND IMPROVED ANTI-INSANE FAN GIRL/FAN BOY SPRAY!, does not work on authors/authoresses (THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T USE IT ON BIOWOLF, HILTZ! OR FIREFOX, RAVEN!)

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Spectral: And we're back!

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *sets flamethrower to 'amusing death'*

Audience: *silent but not extra crispy*

Spectral: Let's bring out the next guest! It's Jamie Hermeros!

            A scary looking yellow robot flies in and drops Jamie in a chair next to Spectral's desk.

Spectral: Hi Jamie!

Jamie: Hi…why am I here?

Spectral: To answer questions. Here's one now. It's from…*looks at card*…Mistress of All Worlds. She asks, "What would happen if I painted your Zoid pink? Do you like Pierce? How old are you? What do you think of fangirls? Can I have your Zoid?"

Jamie: If you painted my zoid pink, it would become pink and I would have to repaint it green again. Pierce is okay…I choose to not answer that question, fan-girls scare me…, and no you can't have my zoid.

Spectral: Healer Ariel asks, "Does it get frustrating to be the only sane one on the Blitz team? What do you like in a girl? Do you find me attractive? And, uh, since we're the same age and all, will you go out with me? I'm working on going on a date with every guy on the Blitz team, and Brad and Bit have already caved, so... Oooh, and tell Brad I had a lovely time with him, will you? Bit could use some training, however..."

Jamie: Yes it does…*trails off into inaudible mumbling*

Spectral: *evil grin* He said of course he'll go out with you, Healer Ariel.

Jamie: !!!!!!!!!

Spectral: Hog of Hedges asks," Why do you like the Pteras more?" Also, "Do you have ANY recollection of ANYTHING that happens when the Wild Eagle takes over?"

Jamie: The Pteras was the zoid that I had since I was a little kid, and I only remember very little…

Spectral: *presses random button and there's an explosion and screaming heard in the background* What?*shifty glance* The next question is from…Kristy. She asks," Jamie you need a girlfriend? why not pierce?"

Jamie: …

Spectral: No answer? Then I'll just fill up this empty time… yeah evil people do rock. And why can't pink blade liger become evil? What's wrong with an evil pink blade liger? Oh yeah…evil and pink don't mix…moving on… the next questions are from…*looks at card that has caught fire* …Shadow Vixen. She asks," What's it like having a slightly psychotic side?," and, "And, you got a thing for Pierce don't you? Mwhahahaha. ADMIT IT!"
Jamie: Freaky and…*barely able to be heard* yes…

Spectral: HA! I knew it! The next question is from…Dragon Vaylor. She asks," Why do you wear pink boots 24/7? WILL YOU PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!!! PLEASE I BEG OF YOU"

Jamie: But I don't wear pink boots 24/7….I'm wearing blue sneakers right now…and sure just calm down…

Spectral: The next question is from…*looks at card* Schala85. She wants to know if you want your Pteres back.

Jamie: *eyes turn to stars* YES! IS SHE GOING TO GIVE ME MY PTERES BACK?!?!?!?!?!?!

Spectral: Only if you're good.

Jamie: *calms down* Okay.

Spectral: The next question comes from plink. She asks, "WHY?"

Jamie: Why what?

Spectral: Good question…Plink, can you explain what you meant by "WHY?"

Jamie: why what…

Spectral: NEXT QUESTION! It's from Fire Fox*dramatic music*…when I find out who is playing that music I'll make them pay…anyway….Fire Fox wants to know what your secret hobby is.

Jamie: I like to try and be evil…just every time I try to something bad happens to me…like the last time I was laughing evilly some giant rock almost crushed me. The message on the side of the rock said…"EVIL ROCKS! Bad pun intended From, The Evil Cliff" It was frightening…

Spectral:…Shiro Amayagi asks, "Why does everyone listen to the Wild Eagle, but not you? If you go insane again (yes, I've read Biowolf's "Fun with Phones" before…) would you like to go on a Mary Sue killing spree?"

Jamie: I don't know…and sure but what's a Mary Sue?

Spectral: The next question appears to be from…Rubber Duckie. She asks," Can you teach me how to cook? I'm a girl that can burn ice cream if you give me a chance and I need to make a birthday cake for a friend (If you say no then I'm sending you her hospital bill)"

Jamie: Uhhh…I'll see…also…I have released several cook books. They might help.

Spectral: The next question is from Amy. She asks," Why do you do everything for the Blitz Team? You act like their slave."

Jamie: If I don't do things, they won't get done. Besides, Bit, Leena, and Brad are my friends.

Spectral: How nice… that's all the questions….and since I'm bored we're just gonna play "drop Thomas into the Lawyer Pit of Eternal Torment! and teleport Jamie away". *presses button*

            There's a surprised yell as Thomas is dropped into the Lawyer Pit of Eternal Torment! Jamie is suddenly teleported away.

Spectral: Okay… that's all for today's show. Next time we'll have Stigma Stoller and Günter Prozen on the show. See ya next time, I'm off to try and take over the world! *disappears in a cloud of smoke*

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Next Time:

Stigma Stoller and Günter Prozen