Spectral's Evil and Insane Zoids Themed Talk Show Type Show

By, Spectral

Insanity comes in many forms this is one of the more pleasant ones…

Disclaimer: Spectral doesn't own zoids or its characters. He owns this story and its plot but not Zoids or it characters.

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Mr. Censor: Live from a studio somewhere in Limbo, it's Spectral's Zoid Themed Talk Show! Here's your host, Spectral!

            Spectral appeared in a cloud of smoke. The audience applauded. Spectral tried to quiet them but they wouldn't stop. He tried again with no progress. The audience quickly became silent when Spectral pulled a flamethrower out of subspace.

Spectral: Thank you, thank you. Well I've come up with some sort of talk show-like show. It will feature Zoids characters from all three series, some zoid battles, zombies, explosions, maniacal laughter, insanity, and some other zoid related stuff that I'll make up as we go along. That sound good?

Audience: Yes!

One guy in Audience: No!

Spectral: *staff suddenly appears in hand* Chaos Destroyer!

            A giant blast of blue light is fired from the gem on top of the staff. The guy in the audience is blasted to oblivion by the beam. Spectral throws the staff into sub-space and then walks over to his desk. The second he sits down in his comically oversized chair, the buttons of doom appear.

Spectral: Well, as always we'll start with questions for me.

Mr. Censor: Very well. The first question is from Dragon Vaylor. She says, "**standing on a huge dragon** Y DID U STEAL MY JAMIE!!!! o wait u said wild eagle right??? **happy dance** here are some gifts just because...ur bring in the wild eagle here are some rabid rubber duckies and this really hug gun I found in my attic and o ya a hallmark card"

Spectral: I did say Wild Eagle. In fact he's in the next chapter. Then you can have Jamie back. Thanks for the artillery, the rabid rubber ducks, and the card. As for having Maniac deliver these things…*looks over at smoking hole in the wall where the truck crashed through* … she doesn't have a license does she?

Mr. Censor: The next question is from Schala85*pauses for dramatic music*. She asks, "Ugh...I've got writer's block on my zoids fics...the horror...Nnnoooooo!!! Any methods to get rid of the cursed writer's block that does NOT impair bodily harm? By the way, I thought I saw Bit messing in your sound room. Perhaps he's the one that's been playing the dramatic music? And I have one last gift before I go: a flamethrower with two adjustable valves (whatever the fire comes out of) so you can flame two people at once. ^^"

Spectral: Well…without bodily harm…well I know a way that wouldn't cause you any bodily harm. Try thinking evil thoughts. It helps sometimes. Yes I know Bit was in the sound room but we found out he wasn't doing anything to the sound. He was hiding from a bunch of Raven and Vega Fan girls that wanted to harm him. Oh and thanks for the new flamethrower part! *combines with flamethrower and sets one side to 'amusing death' and the other to 'burning oil'* This should be fun. And Before I move to the next question…WARNING! You know what the WARNING is for Schala, you are the one who asked for the WARNING.

Mr. Censor: Fire Fox *pause for dramatic music* says, ". But have you ever noticed that Bit looks more like Thomas than Van?.....Or is it just me?" And She sends five dollars…

Spectral: Bit kinda looks like a combination of Thomas and Van…*shudders at bad image* Bad image…anyway…thanks for the five dollars but I wasn't going to do anything to you in the first place…

Mr. Censor: plink*pauses for dramatic music* sends a ," little basket of extra yummy delicious chokkies"

Spectral: Thanks but what in the name of chaotic destruction is a "chokkie"?

Mr. Censor: Shadow Vixen says, "Anyway, can you please ask Stoller to forgive me? I thought he was that freak Major. Polta.
Also, when will Lt. O'Connell or Col. Rob Herman be on?"

Spectral: Sure and I'll have to look into that…

Mr. Censor: Shiro Amayagi sends you plastic explosives…

Spectral: Thank you. Now my evil destructive power multiplies by tenfold! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *lightning strikes and evil music plays*

Mr. Censor: WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING?!?! Increasing his destructive power is a BAD THING… the next question is from Vanna Flyheight. She asks, "anyway, um, are you gonna have Van on anytime soon?"

Spectral: He's in the next chapter.

Mr. Censor: Lady Anime asks, "Also, why haven't you had Leena on the show yet?"

Spectral: Chapter 12. That's when Leena is booked for the show.

Mr. Censor: Razor says, 'I just want to inform you that when you hacked Thunder Blade's binary code. (See chp. 2 elementle time flip) Tha6t you put Recoil in overdrive, and she's heading your way even as I speak, by the time you get this review she'll have probly already planted the Nitro bomb somewhere in your studio and it should go off in about three seconds."

Spectral: nitro bomb…hmmm…you mean this?*picks up nitro bomb* I've already found it and it didn't explode. You can't beat me with explosives…they're my specialty.

Mr. Censor: Joy…timogrow sends a gift to make up for all the questions from before.

Spectral: new weapon!...and I wonder what happened to those robots.

            A dimensional portal opened and the robots stepped out of it.

Spectral: Got lost didn't you?

            The robots nodded disappointedly.

Spectral: it's okay. Go guard the perimeter of the studio…

            The robots nod again and fly into the shadows.

Mr. Censor: Froz Flame asks, "Spectral did u know your know is almost the same as Specula's?"

Spectral:  The only similarity I see is the 'Spec'…

Mr. Censor: That's all…

Spectral: Very well…then let's bring out our first guest!

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *holds up bazooka*

Audience: *silent*

Spectral: Bring out Specula!

            The blue organoid appears in a small explosion and sits down in the chair next to Spectral's desk. The translator then appears.

Spectral: Hi Specula!

Specula: Hello.

Spectral: Okay, time for questions…the first one is from…*looks at card* Maelgwyn. She asks," What is Reese Like? Is she a babe without the extraneous clothes? Can I have you too? You are cool, but not as cool as Ambient."

Specula: Reese is okay but a little creepy sometimes…, I have no opinion on that…, and no. Yes I am cool but…CURSE THAT AMBIENT!

Spectral: …okay now…next question. It's from HealerAriel. She asks," Is Reese nice to you? Why do you only hiss, are you a defective model of organoid? Are you a boy or a girl? How can you tell if an organoid is male or female? What gender is Ambient? How 'bout Shadow? Wouldn't it kick ass if Zeke were really a girl organoid, after Van's been calling Zeke a "him" for so long? Do you have a crush on any of the other organoids, assuming that you're not all the same gender? Reese dyes her hair, doesn't she? That poser...
Oh, and how do organoids have little baby organoids?"

Specula: Yes, I don't just hiss I just make sounds at a different frequency so you pathetic humans can't hear all of the sounds. NO I AM NOT DEFECTIVE! I'm a Girl, I won't answer that, he's a guy. Shadow too. And Zeke is a guy too although that would be kinda funny if he wasn't,…uhh….Shadow…,Reese tried to dye her hair black once but it didn't work…it just stayed blue… and I'm not answering that question either.

Spectral: *looks at card* The next question is from Schala85*pauses for dramatic music but it doesn't come* What? No dramatic music. HAHAHAHA! My trap worked! Wait right here Specula…I'll be right back.

**Sound Room**

            Spectral kicks open the door and steps into the room. He raises his flamethrower and looks around. Stuck to the ceiling is Hiltz.

Spectral: Hiltz? So you're the one who's been making that annoying music!

Hiltz: I came in here to hide from Biowolf. There was someone in here already. When they saw me they ran and I got stuck to the ceiling somehow.

Spectral: Blast! They've escaped once again…but mark my words…I will find this person!

Hiltz: That's great…now…GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!

Spectral: if you insist…back to Biowolf you go.

Hiltz: What!? Wait! NOOOOOO!

            Hiltz is sucked into a dimension portal as Spectral returns to his desk.

Spectral: Sorry about that. Anyway…Schala85 asks, "Have you ever mistaken Sarah for Reese? *looks out for Raven FGs* And does Reese like Raven? I hope so. That way Firefox and the other Raven FGs come and kick her arse into the next millennium. *evil laughter, cough, cough*"

Specula: No…who's Sarah? And I think she does.

Spectral: Okay…next question's from FireFox. She asks," KEEP RYSS AWAY FROM MY RAVEN!!!! Oh yeah, the question. What is it like when you and Ryss use those mind waves to control people? Do you condone Ryss playing with all those little bugs?"

Specula: Okaaaaay…it's fun, and I have nothing against the bugs.

Spectral: The next questions comes from Shadow Vixen. She asks, "1#: You are female neh? So, do you have a thing for Shadow?
2#: Do you think Reese and Raven will be hooking up any time soon?"

Specula: 1: yes and…WHO TOLD YOU!?! 2: They might.

Spectral: The next one comes from Shiro Amayagi. Here goes…,"*pulls out a tenor sax* I got the blues...my Zoid's all broke...I lost a fight...it was a real joke...will you fix up mah zoid...and fix it up good...you can have some've my Easy Mac...let that be understood...doo bee doo dee dah...thank you, thank you."

Specula: Uhh…you want me to fix your zoid? Why?

Spectral: Timogrow asks, "Why are you taller than other organoids? Why does the Double sworder change when the Genosaurer doesn't? Why do you like Reese? Why are you so weak against Shadow? Is it okay to call you a LOSER? Is it okay if I take one of your parts to make some toaster? Why is Ambient so stupid unlike Shadow? And are you related to Spectral?

(while later)

Can you give me an autograph? Please? Please? Please?"

Specula: I don't hunch over like the others, the Genosaurer does change…didn't you see all the stuff I did to it?, I've been Reese's partner for as long as I can remember, I didn't want to hurt him, NO, NO, how should I know?, NO.

Spectral: Do I look like an Organoid? No. I'm an evil super villain, not an Organoid. The next question is from Froz Flame. She asks, "Why is she the ugly organoid? And what's with the weird tusk like things by her mouth?"

Specula: I am not ugly and they're for impaling annoying people like you and timogrow!

Spectral: There is but one more question. What is made of diamond reinforced neo titanium and about to fall on your head?

Specula: I have no idea…

Spectral: This!

            Spectral pressed a button and a cage dropped onto Specula.

Spectral: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Only one Organoid left! Ambient, watch out! Spectral's gonna get ya!

Mr. Censor: we have to go to a commercial break…

Spectral: Oh very well. We'll be back with the Liger Zero after this message.

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *Death Glare*

Audience: *silent*

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Coming soon to a fic near you!


The awards for this very talk show! Awards will be given out for best guest, worst guest, the most evil thing Spectral has done yet and more! Chapter 13 here! You vote! You decide who wins! More information in chapters 11 and 12!

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Spectral: We're back! Bring out the next guest!

            The Liger Zero appears in a cloud of smoke. Spectral's desk and chair rises up to meet it.

Spectral: I hope the translator works on you too… Hi Liger!

Liger: Hello.

Spectral: Okay…the first question is from *looks at flaming card* Maelgwyn. She asks, "YOU ARE SOOOO COOL, but not as cool as Spectral... Can I have you, Please? That Bit Cloud doesn't deserve a perfect Zoid like you. Do you like Marry Champ or Bit? Have you seen Bit like nude? My sister has a thing for you... And If I cant have you, then maybe spectral can... *evil grin*"

Liger: Yes, yes I am. Sorry but no…Bit! That Marry Champ scares me…Of course I've seen Bit nude. Sometimes…when we go for a run he leaves his clothes back at the base. That's scary …no he can't…

Spectral: *shifty glance* The next question is from HealerAriel. She asks, "I've got lots of questions! Did you choose Bit to be your pilot 'cause he's cute and funny? Are you really a boy Zoid, or does Bit just not know any better? Do you ever see Bit and Leena or Brad and Naomi doing...stuff... that the other humans don't see? What kind of music does Bit listen to, assuming that there's a radio in the cockpit? How can you tell a male and a female Zoid apart? How do Zoids reproduce? Would you let me pilot you? And lastly...did Bit say anything about me to you after our date? *blush* Just wanna know...."

Liger: (be warned Schala…) No I chose him because I sensed his great potential. Of course I'm male!. Sure…I've seen a lot more than that…I've seen…Bit and Leena, Brad and Naomi, Bit and Brad, Bit and Jamie, Brad and Jamie, Bit and Brad and Jamie, Bit and Brad and Jamie and Leon, Leon and Brad, Leon and Jamie, Leon and Naomi, Brad and Leena, Jamie and Leena, Naomi and Bit, and Leon and Bit. That's about all…, He listens to strange music and plays it so loudly that even people watching the show can hear it. I won't answer that. Or that, maybe and yeah he mentioned that you were interesting…that's about all.

Spectral: Okaaaay… the next questions are from Dragon Vaylor. She says, "me and a friend thinks that u are weak. and stupid and so on and so forth"

Liger: Then you and your friend are complete idiots.

Spectral: Ah ha… the next question is from Schala85. She asks," Liger Zero, What do you think of Bit? He's a moron, isn't he? Have you ever thought about ditching him for a different pilot? And I'm not talking about me, just someone else. Someone like...Stoller! He'd take good care of you and if he didn't I'd make sure he'd regret it."

Liger: Bit's my friend and partner. And NEVER!

Spectral:…moving on…the next question is from *looks at stone tablet* Fire Fox. She asks, "Sooo...is it true that all ligers are sterile?"

Liger: No.

Spectral: The next question is from Shiro Amayagi. He sends this, "Don't you get bored of the same old transformations? You'll need a new one now...I guess I'll give it to you...Liger Zero Blazer. It's red and blue, and comes with blades that shape themselves into wings. Liger Zero Blazer is also MY idea...at least, I didn't have any help...someone else might've come up with a crappy version of it, but mine's the best."

Liger: Not really but thanks for the new CAS parts!

Spectral: The next question is from Maniac. She says, "all I have to say is that the Liger Zero should watch out.....why....I found Dragon Valor's Liger Zero model and well....its decapitated!!! and also a question for liger...ok do u think u can steal brad for my 3 year old sister...she likes brad and well SHES VERY ANNOYING!!!:"

Liger: Okay…you scare me…and no I can't steal Brad.

Spectral: Serena says, "What is it like having a hottie like Bit as your pilot? Can you ask him if he will go on a date with me? Please???????? I think you 2 are the coolest. You can come to my house and we can annihilate the whole sixth grade and then blow up my school. And bring Bit with you too if you like.
You are the coolest zoid in my opinion. You kick major butt. Don't forget to ask Bit to go out with me. see ya. ^_^"

Liger: …it's okay…sure I'll ask him, …you're very destructive aren't you?

Spectral: I WILL ASK THE QUESTION ON THIS SHOW! Like this one here….from timogrow, "HATE YOU! YOU ARE SOOOO WEAK WITHOUT YOUR CAS! I LIKED YOU AS A BLADE LIGER! NOW YOU'RE WEAK! WEAK AS A MOUSE!"

Liger: Why don't you come here and say that to my face you insignificant little rat?

Spectral: Okay…the next one is from pink blade liger. She asks, "I wanna know if liger likes bit or if he is having a secret affair with another."

Liger: No one but Bit pilots me…

Spectral: That's all the questions…

Liger: Really?

Spectral: yes…so…into the cage you go!

            A giant cage sprung up around the Liger Zero.

Spectral: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Today is a great day to be evil! Next Time on the Show we'll have the Wild Eagle and Van Flyheight!

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *holds up Photon Cannon*

Audience:  *silent*

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Next Time:                                                      

Wild Eagle and Van Flyheight