Spectral's Evil and Insane Zoids Themed Talk Show Type Show

By, Spectral

Insanity comes in many forms this is one of the more pleasant ones…

Disclaimer: Spectral doesn't own zoids or its characters. He owns this story and its plot but not Zoids or it characters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Censor: Live from a studio somewhere in Limbo, it's Spectral's Zoid Themed Talk Show! Here's your host, Spectral!

            Spectral appeared in a cloud of smoke. The audience applauded. Spectral tried to quiet them but they wouldn't stop. He tried again with no progress. The audience quickly became silent when Spectral pulled a flamethrower out of subspace.

Spectral: Thank you, thank you. Well I've come up with some sort of talk show-like show. It will feature Zoids characters from all three series, some zoid battles, zombies, explosions, maniacal laughter, insanity, and some other zoid related stuff that I'll make up as we go along. That sound good?

Audience: Yes!

One guy in Audience: No!

Spectral: HELLFIRE CANNON!

            The guy was engulfed in flames as Spectral walked over to his desk. He sits in his chair and the buttons of DOOM appear.

Spectral: Well before I even ask if there are questions for me…I have a message to pass along for you people. IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR A CHARACTER WAIT UNTIL IT IS THEIR TURN TO BE ON THE SHOW! DO NOT LEAVE QUESTIONS FOR CHARACTERS WHO WILL NOT BE APPEARING ON THE SHOW IN THE CHAPTER AFTER THE ONE YOU REVIEW. I AM NOT GOING BACK AND SORTING THROUGH ALL THESE REIVEWS FOR QUESTIONS IN THE WRONG PLACE! Now... Mr. Censor, are there any questions, pour moi?(yes, I speak French too)

Mr. Censor: Yes…the first one is from…Mistress of All Worlds. She sends these gifts," a box of cookies and a big, giant, bad-ass gun! Their what every super villain needs!"

Spectral: Thanks for the cookies and artillery! You can never have too many weapons…or cookies.

Mr. Censor: The next question is from…Malegwyn and CW. They say…"CW: I hate you...

Mael: Now, can you PLEASE kill him? I am really tired of the little b'*atd's crap... *growls* Now, since I have guessed you enjoy all things destructive... I have found something for you *digs around room for a tic* Here it is; the perfect Zoid Virus! It can freeze ANY zoid that you may come across and it does work on organoids too...

Question (and Hero worship) for Spectral: You are just too cool? How do you do it! I strive to be just like you everyday... thank you for reading this Spectral; and for that, you get a huge basket of chokkies (Chocolates) and another full of C4 explosives (High Grade)"

Spectral: Now I really hope CW wasn't directing that at me because I have an army of VERY angry zombies waiting to attack someone…maybe…thanks for the zoids virus! Now I can finally capture Ambient! BWAHAHAHA!...Ummm…Hero worship doesn't work well with VILLAINS…but thanks anyway. For anyone who wants to be evil like me…just read my newest(and soon to be posted) fic called…EVIL, DOOM, CHAOS, and other assorted badness on the Fiction Press site the ff.n people set up…

Mr. Censor: That's the last thing we need...more people like Spectral…the next question happens to be from Dark Sniper. He sends this," Just to add to your arsenal, would you like a grenade attachment for your flame thrower? It's full auto btw"

Spectral: Sure. New weaponry is always welcome!

Mr. Censor: Stop increasing his destructive power! IT'S NOT A GOOD THING! The next question is from…Razor. The question is, "I hope you know that Recoil is now very livid and is now inside the Base Of Doom, and has already destroyed most of the explosives, oh, and she also said that she was going to something else. I forgot what. Anyway I think it had something to do with her overdrive and 'I can't believe it's not butter spray.'"

Spectral: Yes I know…I've already restocked the explosives and Recoil is currently trapped inside a giant cube of evil gelatin. You should come pick her up before she melts herself trying to escape…her overdrive just bounces around the inside of the cube…oh and here's the key(why is there a key to a cube of gelatin you ask? Well that's simple. I'm evil! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!) to let her out…it explodes after its been used so be careful…

Mr. Censor: Trigger Happy wants to know if you're single…

Spectral: Yes…why…

Mr. Censor: FireFox*pauses for dramatic music* wants to know if you're giving the five dollars back…

Spectral: Yes and I will send this life-like and life-size replica of Raven (GF not CC). Yes...it is AC (And When I say AC I mean VERY AC…*shudders* can you believe they sell that kind of stuff at the place where I work?). MINIONS!

            A giant red and black robot flies out of the shadows and lands. It picks up the box containing the gift for FireFox then flies through a dimensional portal.

Mr. Censor: She also wants to know where Shadow went.

Spectral: I captured him. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mr. Censor: Dragon Vaylor apologizes for Maniac…

Spectral: *looks over at the four holes in the wall where Maniac drove through* Okay…ZOMBIES!

            Several zombies rise out of the ground.

Spectral: Fix the wall…

            The zombies go over to the wall and begin to fix it.

Mr. Censor: Amy says, "I send you a long range machine gun with flamethrower attachments! And when will you have Vega, Naomi, or Reese on the show?"

Spectral: *attaches new parts to flamethrower* You know, its amazing that no matter how many things I add to this Flamethrower, it still looks the same… Vega, don't know, Naomi, don't know, Reese, Next Chapter.

Mr. Censor: Froz Flame says this…"Hello again! Spectral I would like to give you one of my Demon Death Saurer (read chapter 3 of What To Do On A Saturday Night to learn what a demon zoid is) also are you a fan of Yu-Gi-Oh? If u are u should do something like this for the YGO section."

Spectral: Demon Zoid! Yay! Yes, I am. I would but the ff.n people got into a tizzy (?) when I tried to.

Mr. Censor: Serena wants you to send the Liger Zero…

Spectral: Maybe…and only after my evil plot is complete. *shifty glance*

Mr. Censor: Vegetto wants to know when Zeke will be on the show…

Spectral: Uhh…maybe after I finish my evil plot.

Mr. Censor: Shiro Amayagi says this, "Okay, I REALLY hope those people bashing Ambient were just joking...must kill...oh yes, and something I forgot to mention last time, we're partners, so you can have Zeke, Shadow, and Specula, but Ambient is MINE!!! It's only fair."

Spectral: I only need Ambient four about 15 minutes so he can help complete my evil plot. I was going to send him to you any way…once I catch him that is…

Mr. Censor: This is the last question…WHY ARE THERE NEVER ANY QUESTIONS FOR ME?!?

Spectral: Good question…perhaps everyone else can answer that…

*silence*

Spectral: Okay…let's bring out the first guest!

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *holds up Bob-omb*

Audience: *silence*

Spectral: *throws bob-omb into subspace*  Bring out the Wild Eagle!

            The Wild Eagle appears in the chair next to Spectral's desk.

Spectral: Hi!

WildE: Hi…

Spectral: The first question is from Malegwyn and CW. They ask, "How is it to have an alter ego that is a little pussy? I wish I could dump the Wild Eagle into a Zoid and you would rock *Hey you rock now*"

WildE: He isn't…and yes, I do rock.

Spectral: *sets random cactus monster on fire* The next question is from Schala85. She asks, "Which do you think is better: Stormsworder or Raynos?"

WildE: The Raynos is much better!

Spectral: Healer Ariel asks, "Hey, you know you're WAY hotter as Wild Eagle than when you're in Jamie mode? And since you're not as shy as Jamie, will you answer some questions that he wouldn't? What kind of girls do you like? Do you think I'm cute? (Answer this carefully... I too have an alter-ego.)Have you ever walked in on any of your teammates doing naughty things? Can you tell me about it in detail so I can have blackmail ready? Pleeeeaase? And, can you take me for a ride in your Raynos? And saying that there's only one seat in the cockpit won't suffice as an excuse not to. You may interpret that however you wish to ^_~ A biento, baby!"

WildE: Yes. Maybe…no comment, maybe I haven't seen you. Yes but no details because I tend to join in… No. I don't take passengers.

Spectral: *presses random button and an explosion and screams are heard in the distance* the next question is from Dragon Vaylor. She says," u know ur hot!!!! and....ya..thats it..."

WildE: Yes. Yes I am.

Spectral: Fire Fox *pauses for dramatic music* I'll find that music playing person eventually…any way… Fire Fox asks, "What's it like living in someone's head? Isn't Pierce a little old for you?"

WildE: It's like reliving the same memories again and again…and no. Do you have any idea how old I really am?

Spectral: Shiro Amayagi asks, "Do you watch Yu-Gi-Oh? Do you know that you're kinda like Yami? Do you play basketball? Have you separated any negatively charged particles to deflect a charged particle gun from destroying the people that your hikari (light side) does all the work for? Am I asking too many questions?"

WildE: Yu-gi-what? No…no…no again...and yes.

Spectral: Moving on…The next question is from Maniac…(note to self: must install truck-proof walls) She says, "tell Jamie that Dragon Valor is going to have a NEW BOYFRIEND soon....very soon...."

WildE: Does she mean me?

Spectral: *throws flaming bag of popcorn at Wild Eagle* I will ask the questions! The next one is from…*looks at flaming card* Amy. She asks, "What's it like being the alter ego of Jamie? I think you're much cooler anyway"

WildE: It's kinda weird and yes. I am MUCH cooler.

Spectral: Froz Flame asks, "Wild Eagle, your kinda like a Yami, no? or I'm a just an Yu-Gi-Oh! obsessed girl? Probably both"

WildE: I'm confused…can we move on?

Spectral: Very well…sorry Froz Flame but Wild Eagle doesn't seem to know what a Yami is…the next question is from…me. You like to fly right?

WildE: Of course.

Spectral: Then good bye.*presses button*

            Wild Eagle's chair turns around and he is then catapulted through the window.

Spectral: HAHAHAHAHA! That should hurt!

WildE: *stands up* Not really. It was only a two foot drop…

Spectral: …*pulls out a mallet and hits Wild Eagle on the head, knocking him out*

Mr. Censor…

Mr. Censor: The painters moved everything again. The window that leads to the 300 foot drop is over there...

Spectral: Okay…note to self: harm the painters. MINIONS!

A large red dragon appears.

Spectral: Bring him to Dragon Vaylor.*points to the unconscious Wild Eagle/Jamie*

The Dragon picks up Jamie/Wild Eagle and flies through a portal.

Spectral: We'll be back with Van Flyhieght!

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *holds up frying pan*

Audience: *silence*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HAHAHAHAHA! Time for a short explanation of the awards show! These will be the categories! There will be 5 nominees in each category. The winner gets a Spectral Award(just a gold Spectral Symbol on a platform) and 500 Evil Points(redeemable at your local evil place or on Black Market E-bay)! You people can vote NEXT TIME!

Best Guest

Worst Guest

Funniest Guest

Most Evil Thing Spectral has done so far (on the show)

Best Questions/Review (yes you people will be given rewards too!)

Worst Questions/Review

Most Threatening thing Spectral has done to the Audience

Best Commercial

And we'll all find out who makes that annoying dramatic music plus Spectral will fight 3 mystery opponents in a special battle right in the studio!  So CH13 will be the awards. Be Ready! Oh and did I mention… the whole show will be on Mountain, Spectral's orbiting space station!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spectral: We're back!

Audience: *cheers*

Spectral: *eyes glow*

Audience: *silence*

Spectral: Okay…bring in Van.

            A Giant robot lands by the door and two smaller ones open it. There's a huge battle going on outside between Van Fan Girls and Fan Boys and Raven Fan Girls and Fan Boys. The giant robot opens fire as a black pick-up truck with the Spectral symbol on the hood and doors drives into the studio. The doors are then slammed shut and barricaded.

Spectral: Okay…not only did I say Van and not Truck but I meant Van Flyheight not Mini-Van. Sheesh…do I have to do everything myself? *snaps fingers*

            The truck is driven off stage as Van appears in a cloud of smoke. He then sits down in a chair next to Spectral's desk.

Spectral: Hello.

Van: Hi.

Spectral: Let's begin with a question from Biowolf *pause for dramatic music*. She wants to know how many papayas you've eaten in your whole life.

Van: 163.

Spectral: Okay…the next question is from Mistress of all Worlds. She asks, "Do you like Fiona? What was your first kiss? What happened to your mother? Have you ever wanted a different Zoid?"

Van: Yes. This is a bit embarrassing but… it was with Zeke. I was having a dream and he leaned in to investigate and…

Spectral: Moving on…

Van: Okay…she died a long time ago…and no. My Blade Liger is the best!

Spectral: *looking at a set of photos* Okay…explain these photos, Flyheight.

Van: *looks at photos and sweat-drops*How did you get those pictures.

Spectral: I took them from Shadow when I captured him but…I have a feeling that these photos will make both Raven and Van fan-girls and fan-boys angry or at least slightly disturbed…

Van: So you won't let anyone else see them?

Spectral: HA! I'm evil remember?! They've already been faxed to Fire Fox and I'm sure that my zombies will deliver them to other people.

Van: Can you just ask the next question?

Spectral: *Death Glare* Very well…it's from…*looks at cards* Malegwyn and CW. They ask, "have some *quite* descriminating pictures of you and one Thomas Shubaltz doing something quite rude and indecent... I am sending them to my friend Spectral now... And how is it to have a kick ass organoid like Zeke *who is the property of Spectral* and a great liger; but you are a pussy; cute, but a pussy that I killed in my story :-)"

Van: Uh…*watches as Spectral looks at the pictures, glares at him, and then sends copies across the internet with an evil laugh* that isn't good…Zeke is great isn't he….WHAT DO YOU MEAN PROOERTY OF SPECTRAL?! The liger's cool too, and why do you hate me?

Spectral: *sets a random sofa monster on fire* Okay…the next question happens to be from Schala85*pause for dramatic music*. She wants to know, "Who would win in a battle: you or Bit?"

Van: Who's Bit?

Spectral: The next question is from…*looks at the cards which have mysteriously turned to stone* Trigger Happy. She asks, "1. Why do you always shout "Mobilize"?
2. Do you like Fiona?
3. Does fiona like you?
4. Do you want to kill Thomas? 'Cause if you do, I can help.
5. If Raven whould not have been taken by Prozen-dude, do you think that you'd be friends"

Van: 1. I can't think of anything else to shout. 2. Yes. 3. I hope so. 4. Not really. 5. Yes.

Spectral: The next one's from HealerAriel. She asks, "You realize you and the other guys are just eye candy, right? That said, I can start with the real questions. What do you think about that loser Thomas always trying to scam on your girl, huh? Don't you just want to punch him sometimes? Are you planning to marry Fiona? 'Cause you're like, such a perfect couple. And, can you gimme any dirt on Irvine and Moonbay's relationship? You can tell that they're totally into each other, right? I mean, it's SO obvious. And...do you think I have a chance with Raven? I mean, he kinda blew me off in his interview, but do you think maybe I can convince him that he's desperately in love with me? Yes? No?"

Van: No…he's just hopeless. Yes. Yes. No because they'd hurt me. No. He's more likely to kill you than to love you…

Spectral: Kill…*drifts off into evil thoughts*

            Several minutes pass before a water balloon hits Spectral, snapping him back into reality.

Spectral: *instantly dry* Who threw that?

RandomGuy: Me.

Spectral: Good bye*presses button*.

            The guy falls into a pit of lava. The floor then closes back up.

Spectral: The next question is from Fire Fox*pause for dramatic music*. She asks," Grrrrrr....Are you trying to make the mullet cool again? Did you ever manage to catch the legendary flying papaya?"

Van: No and No.

Spectral: Lady Anime asks, "What do pappayas taste like and can you give me a papaya. also,can I have the Blade Liger."

Van: Uhhh…good? No. All the world's papayas are mine!

 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!*is hit in head by Spectral*---ouch!

Spectral: Don't try to be evil Just answer the questions.

Van: *disappointed* Okay…no. The Blade Liger is mine!

Spectral: trimogrw wants the Blade Liger…

Van: No.

Spectral: also," Did u know that Zeke is GAY with Thomas?
I saw them in the attic of your house."

Van: Yes…and it's not just Thomas…

Spectral: Shiro Amayagi asks," Why exactly do you have so much of a problem with Raven? He wasn't the murderer that killed your dad. If I'm correct, it was actually Shadow. Jeez, we authors are turning Zoids into a soap opera..."

Van: Raven's evil. I have a problem with all evil people. And it was Prozen that caused my father to die, not Shadow.

Spectral: Have a problem with evil people do you? Not a smart thing to say on this show. After the questions they'll be a surprise every anti-van person will like…the next question is from, Maniac*looks over at zombies that are still repairing the wall*., She asks, "did u marry Fiona at the end of the series?...and did u know Dragon Valor's older sister thnks u r Jamie..."

Van: No. And Dragon Vaylor's sister must be insane,…I'm Van…

Spectral: Vegetto asks," Do you love Fiona, can I have Zeke, why do you always get your ass kicked by Raven?"

Van: Yes, No, and I don't.

Spectral: The next question comes from Amy. She asks, "How manny papias have you eaten in the past year? And what do you do in your spare time?"

Van: 68 and work out.

Spectral: Froz Flame asks," Your really cool, and your the first Anime person I fell in love with, of course there are many others now... What do you think of Thomas trying to hit on your girlfriend? What's it like fighting Raven? Is it okay if I make the Blade Liger black? I think it would look better. Have you ever thought of becoming evil? At the end of GF, would you say u n' Raven are friends, or at the least, can tolerate each other? By the way, there is a cage waiting for you in F.R.I.T.Z 666....MWWAAHHAAA*hack cough**Ahem*"

Van: Thomas gets annoying after awhile. Fun. NO! Yes but this Spectral just shows up and hurts me every time I try to be evil. We tolerate eachother. And I'm not going there…

Spectral: *presses button and load roars and screams of terror are heard in the distance* The next question comes from*looks at cards that have now become fuzzy* Serena. She asks," Have you ever hurt yourself jumping out of the Blade Liger's cokpit? And you and Zeke can come over my house somtime just for fun k? Has Thomas ever hurt himself Getting out of the Dibison's cokpit? And has Fiona ever slapped him for being a pervert? And keep an eye on Zeke or else spectral micg try to steal him."

Van: Yes, maybe once I find zeke that is. Yes. Yes. Yeah…I'll have to make sure Spectral doesn't steal Zeke.

Spectral: Too late. The next question is from ZoidHawk7. He(She?) asks," WHY THE HELL ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH PAPAYAS? WHY?"

Van: Why Not?

Spectral: Korona asks," What in the world is a payapa? Huh Mr.Payapa boy. Also, will you buy my sister.I'm selling her for 1 cent.I HATE her. Oh, and paypas are dumb:D."

Van: A fruit and No.

Spectral: The last question is from ShadowWind. HE(She?) asks," Why are you so cool as a little kid and so gay when you grow up? Can I have Zeke, cause I really don't think you deserve him? And can I have your boots cause they're really cool? Oh yeah, can I kill Fiona?"

Van: I'm not! No. I'll send you an extra pair, AND NO!

Spectral: Okay that was the last question. I will now cause you pain.(this is the surprise)

Van: What?!

Spectral: *gets up* Through the powers of Evil, Darkness, and Shadow I call upon one of my ultimate techniques! This hand of mine is burning red! It's dark power demands that I destroy you! AN ULTIMATE SPECTRAL FINISHER! THE WINDS OF EVIL! DESTRUCTION CANNON!*flings giant beam of black energy at Van, sending him spiraling into the distance where he explodes upon impact with a distant mountain*That's all! Next time we'll have Leena and O'Connell. See ya!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Time:

Leena and Lt. O'Connell