Disclaimer: I don't own it, I'm just speaking in my own way.
Writer: Maya
Point of view: Hiei
Title: Shattered- Chapter 1
**************************
I push myself closer to the wall shivering. I didn't even know I could go back any further. The wall and I became one. Closer, I became the wall. Not feeling, not thinking. Trying to stay emotionless as possible.
"Hiei?" The familiar voice of my fox friend lingered in the air.
I wrapped my arms around myself. I was hugging so I would have to think about it any more. I needed comfort, I needed someone, anyone. But not that I would want to reveal that. My nails were digging into my skin and I felt blood trail down my arms. Strangely enough, it didn't hurt, on the outside at least...
Should I cry? No, no. I couldn't. It would be over and horrors if I did. Why couldn't this sadness just end? Why must this go on? Why didn't this just end? Why did Muruko have to bring me back? She just had to make matters worse...
Kurama's footsteps stopped outside my door. He knew I was here. I held my breath and pushed back to the corner more. There was no where to go. I was trapped. Trapped in darkness forever. Only to be pulled into a world of shit. I couldn't continue like this. But then again, what else was I suppose to do? What else could I do?
I closed my eyes as the door opened. I wish Kurama could learn how to just leave me alone.
"Hiei? What are you doing in here?" My best friends voice asked. It was comforting. I didn't deserve comfort for anything that happened to me. I wasn't good enough for that.
"Hn." I said in my normal tone of voice, "Leave me alone Kurama."
"Hiei?! What are you doing? Why is there blood all over your arms?" Kurama asked ignoring my last plea of sanity. He sounded worried. Worried for me. Why? He just didn't get that I wasn't worth caring over. It was like his brain couldn't understand the fact that something was worthless. Namely me...
"It's nothing..." I trailed off.
"Yes it is Hiei. How long have you been up here?" he questioned.
"Kurama!" I snapped, "Don't worry about it."
He studied me. His eyes went up and down my figure trying to see what I was hiding. I hate it when he did this. He can guess almost anyone's emotion like this. I gave him a blank, bored look which would hopefully throw him off.
"Leave me be Kurama." I said loudly.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" he asked hopeful. Pitiful hopes Kurama. He spent to much time in a human body.
My gaze went from him to the wall.
"I'll be down stairs Hiei." He said over his shoulder.
He shut the door and I heard his footsteps go away. He couldn't help... Good. I couldn't put my problems on his head no matter what he thinks, no matter what anyone thinks.
I crawled into the middle of the room staying as close to the floor as I could get. I sat there staring at myself in the mirror on the other side of the room. Crap,... I was worthless and pathetic.
I was now skinny from not eating for days. I was tired and my eyes showed it. And I couldn't escape. Even in my dreams, or nightmares. My arms were now bloody but had scars, scratches, and sores on them.
Everything dear was gone. My sister, my... friends, no, I didn't have friends. I was alone in a cruel world. Alone. And Yukina, the fool proposed to her... my sister was lost and gone... My mother's tear gem was... lost. It was gone. It probably shattered at my touch... Muruko was upset with me and I would probably never get her trust back. Maya had been gone for over two years now... I was losing everything.
I started coughing and blood poured from my mouth. The smell of alcohol was in the air. That was the only thing that had been in my stomach for days. I looked queerly at the floor where the concoction lay. This was bad.
Why Yukina, why? No, this wasn't her fault. It was either mine, or that fools fault. More or less it was both of are faults. Why did this torture continue? I could have asked Muruko that a couple years ago but I stayed silent.
I stood up and walked over to the mirror. I peered in at the rags my body had become. My eyes which were once trusting(that was a long, long time ago) had turned to stone. Filled with destruction. Hatred for me and my life filled them. The mirror shattered. I looked at my fist. Blood was running from it and there were sharp pieces of glass poking out of the skin. That blow didn't hurt either. I must have lost all feeling.
I picked out the sharp glass and it bleed more. I re-bandaged my hand and walked over to my bed. I lay down and closed my eyes. I fell asleep almost right away.
***Maya's point of view***
Sweat ran down my forehead into my eyes. It hurt, really bad. Almost to bad. I pain to make a poem in my head.
The words echoed in my mind as I finished. Hiei,... I haven't seen your sweet face for three years now...... My poor fire demon. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry....
I couldn't continue like this. One more torture and I would break. I knew it. I just knew...
*~*~*
Is This The End?
In agony my spirit bends, Love has been my fatal end, A steady darkness turns to night, And though I fight with all my might.
Look in my eyes, All you rise, To see this sight, Come, don't cry.
This darkness which I wish to lend, Thousands of years will take to mend, Who will come forth which I can send?
There is a soothing voice where there is no light, Should I try to fight this light? This can't be right. Could I fight?
No candles are lit, And yet you all just sit, Do you give a shit? I think not, you all just go and rot...
Is this the end? Should I defend? Rocks and stones are being hurled, Souls alone are being twirled, The end is near, The end is here... ***********
Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Writer: Maya
Point of view: Hiei
Title: Shattered- Chapter 1
**************************
I push myself closer to the wall shivering. I didn't even know I could go back any further. The wall and I became one. Closer, I became the wall. Not feeling, not thinking. Trying to stay emotionless as possible.
"Hiei?" The familiar voice of my fox friend lingered in the air.
I wrapped my arms around myself. I was hugging so I would have to think about it any more. I needed comfort, I needed someone, anyone. But not that I would want to reveal that. My nails were digging into my skin and I felt blood trail down my arms. Strangely enough, it didn't hurt, on the outside at least...
Should I cry? No, no. I couldn't. It would be over and horrors if I did. Why couldn't this sadness just end? Why must this go on? Why didn't this just end? Why did Muruko have to bring me back? She just had to make matters worse...
Kurama's footsteps stopped outside my door. He knew I was here. I held my breath and pushed back to the corner more. There was no where to go. I was trapped. Trapped in darkness forever. Only to be pulled into a world of shit. I couldn't continue like this. But then again, what else was I suppose to do? What else could I do?
I closed my eyes as the door opened. I wish Kurama could learn how to just leave me alone.
"Hiei? What are you doing in here?" My best friends voice asked. It was comforting. I didn't deserve comfort for anything that happened to me. I wasn't good enough for that.
"Hn." I said in my normal tone of voice, "Leave me alone Kurama."
"Hiei?! What are you doing? Why is there blood all over your arms?" Kurama asked ignoring my last plea of sanity. He sounded worried. Worried for me. Why? He just didn't get that I wasn't worth caring over. It was like his brain couldn't understand the fact that something was worthless. Namely me...
"It's nothing..." I trailed off.
"Yes it is Hiei. How long have you been up here?" he questioned.
"Kurama!" I snapped, "Don't worry about it."
He studied me. His eyes went up and down my figure trying to see what I was hiding. I hate it when he did this. He can guess almost anyone's emotion like this. I gave him a blank, bored look which would hopefully throw him off.
"Leave me be Kurama." I said loudly.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" he asked hopeful. Pitiful hopes Kurama. He spent to much time in a human body.
My gaze went from him to the wall.
"I'll be down stairs Hiei." He said over his shoulder.
He shut the door and I heard his footsteps go away. He couldn't help... Good. I couldn't put my problems on his head no matter what he thinks, no matter what anyone thinks.
I crawled into the middle of the room staying as close to the floor as I could get. I sat there staring at myself in the mirror on the other side of the room. Crap,... I was worthless and pathetic.
I was now skinny from not eating for days. I was tired and my eyes showed it. And I couldn't escape. Even in my dreams, or nightmares. My arms were now bloody but had scars, scratches, and sores on them.
Everything dear was gone. My sister, my... friends, no, I didn't have friends. I was alone in a cruel world. Alone. And Yukina, the fool proposed to her... my sister was lost and gone... My mother's tear gem was... lost. It was gone. It probably shattered at my touch... Muruko was upset with me and I would probably never get her trust back. Maya had been gone for over two years now... I was losing everything.
I started coughing and blood poured from my mouth. The smell of alcohol was in the air. That was the only thing that had been in my stomach for days. I looked queerly at the floor where the concoction lay. This was bad.
Why Yukina, why? No, this wasn't her fault. It was either mine, or that fools fault. More or less it was both of are faults. Why did this torture continue? I could have asked Muruko that a couple years ago but I stayed silent.
I stood up and walked over to the mirror. I peered in at the rags my body had become. My eyes which were once trusting(that was a long, long time ago) had turned to stone. Filled with destruction. Hatred for me and my life filled them. The mirror shattered. I looked at my fist. Blood was running from it and there were sharp pieces of glass poking out of the skin. That blow didn't hurt either. I must have lost all feeling.
I picked out the sharp glass and it bleed more. I re-bandaged my hand and walked over to my bed. I lay down and closed my eyes. I fell asleep almost right away.
***Maya's point of view***
Sweat ran down my forehead into my eyes. It hurt, really bad. Almost to bad. I pain to make a poem in my head.
The words echoed in my mind as I finished. Hiei,... I haven't seen your sweet face for three years now...... My poor fire demon. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry....
I couldn't continue like this. One more torture and I would break. I knew it. I just knew...
*~*~*
Is This The End?
In agony my spirit bends, Love has been my fatal end, A steady darkness turns to night, And though I fight with all my might.
Look in my eyes, All you rise, To see this sight, Come, don't cry.
This darkness which I wish to lend, Thousands of years will take to mend, Who will come forth which I can send?
There is a soothing voice where there is no light, Should I try to fight this light? This can't be right. Could I fight?
No candles are lit, And yet you all just sit, Do you give a shit? I think not, you all just go and rot...
Is this the end? Should I defend? Rocks and stones are being hurled, Souls alone are being twirled, The end is near, The end is here... ***********
Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!