Change your shape, change your destiny (3/6), by dutchbuffy2305
Rating: R
Spoilers: S4
Author's note: This takes place just before the Season 5 opener.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Joss
Author's website:
Feedback: Yes, please, to dutchbuffy2305@yahoo.co.uk
Willow found it difficult to keep her eyes off the old lady on the chair next to her. She sat there, faintly shaking all over, snoring gently in an exhausted sleep. You had to hand it to Buffy; she had found a way to get to the Magic Box, dementia and thousand wrinkles notwithstanding. Willow was a little afraid to touch her, she looked like she might shed or flake or break. Buffy's little wrinkly paw was all crooked, arthritis maybe, and her own beefy shiny hand would put too much pressure on the fragile bones.
How would it feel to wake in a body like that? Buffy must at first have been more alert and herself than she was now, or she would never had gotten up and tried to come to the Magic Box. Waking up, thinking you are this ueber-strong Slayer, lying happily in your bed with your boyfriend, and then being in this frail body, probably woken up by some obnoxious nurse who spoke about 'we' when she meant Buffy. What kind of breakfast would she have gotten? Something liquid, Willow bet. Ew.
And then Tara. After her first impulsive hug, she had been avoiding to touch her all day. It was just too weird touching Willy, who not only was Willy the snitch, someone they knew and did not love, but also a man. Imagine them kissing! Tara hadn't shaved this morning, which was understandable but she had felt kind of scratchy when she kissed her. She knew Tara had noticed what she was doing, and she felt really ashamed about it. Tara probably didn't feel anything like that, to Tara it might not even matter what kind of body she was in. Tara would love her even in this giant marshmallow, she was sure. It was awful to fall so short of her own mark, but she just couldn't bring herself to stroke Willy's hair, or squeeze his thigh, like she would have done with Tara.
She was such a failure. Even this morning, she should have done everything different. Done locator spells on everyone, not hurry wheezing and puffing over here and get taken in by the first impostor that came along. Why hadn't Tara spotted it? She'd known immediately that something was wrong that time when Faith had done the exchange with Buffy. What she had been fearing from the start must be true. Their bodies were affecting their abilities, and if they didn't hurry they were going to be trapped in them forever. Everybody was sitting around yawning and dozing off, and it just wouldn't do.
Willow slapped down her hand on the table. "We can't go on like this!" she declared. "We're degenerating. We have to move fast or perish. Or not perish but anyway be trapped in these bodies that I personally don't particularly like at all, and eventually we would then die in them, even if that wouldn't be for many years yet."
"What Red said," Spike declared after a short pause. Willow shot him a grateful smile, since everyone else was looking a little stunned.
"How a bout a game of hopscotch, Rupes, or whatever these kids play these days?"
"Shut up, Spike," Giles said tiredly.
He was eating candy out of a big bag, Anya's secret stash. Anya'd said she didn't mind sharing, because right now she didn't feel like eating sweets at all.
"If my memory is accurate, this is what it feels like to crave a really nice big Cuban," Anya said.
"You ate Cubans?" Willow said, surprised. "I thought you venged?"
"Cuban cigars, Willow," Giles snapped.
The sweets didn't seem to be improving his temper. Could be the additives. Willow thought of warning him about the effect on his attention span, but decided not to.
"Why don't we order a couple of nice big pizzas?" Willow suggested. "I'm really hungry. We could all use a meal. Riley- I mean Spike is a big strapping fellow who needs a lot of food."
Spike winked at her and hitched up Riley's slacks suggestively. To Willow's horror she had a hard time tearing her eyes away from Riley's slacks. Oh dear. This body wasn't gay. Firmly she looked away from the corn-fed goodness and smiled at Tara.
Buffy woke up, smiled a wobbly-toothed smile at everyone and fell asleep again. No help there. Spike was getting restive. After annoying everyone with endless finger drumming, fiddling with pencils and studying his own veins and heartbeat, he jumped up and started to pace.
"I can't believe you people fell for that fellow, that impostor, who pretended to be Buffy. D'you know, the more I think about it I actually think he's a bit familiar? Seen him somewhere before, you know. Let me think, people changing bodies, random chaos…"
"Ethan!" Giles blurted out.
"Yeah, right, that's who I mean. Bloke who turned you into a demon. Thought you knew him from before, Rupes?"
Giles colored angrily and stuffed more candy in his mouth.
Willow didn't think all that intuitive stuff was worth much. She preferred solid research, with nicely written notes. Intuition couldn't be proved or copied. "How can you be so sure, Spike?"
"I don't need Spike's 'intuitions' to know it was Ethan," Giles scoffed. "It has his signature written all over it!"
Spike ignored him and answered Willow. "Knew right away it weren't Buffy, didn't I?"
"Well, no," Willow objected, "you more or less told us this morning you slept with Buffy. You hadn't realized everybody had skipped to another body before you saw us here!"
She really hated it when people tried to make you forget things they'd told you themselves. Everybody was always pretending to forget things they'd said or done. Like people's memories were really that bad! She was sure she could still remember all her classmates' birthdays from third grade on, and had never believed nobody else could. Except Xander, of course.
"Now that we know it is Ethan, what are we gonna do about it?" she asked Giles.
"We really need to apprehend him," Giles mused, folding and refolding the now empty bag of sweets. He must be missing his glasses. Willow nodded. They went back to their books.
Dusk fell, pizza arrived. Spike slept. He had a slight snore that unobtrusively accompanied the rustling of pages and the scratching of pens, counterpointed by the irregular snuffling Buffy's body produced.
Shortly after the pizza man had left, the shop bell clanged again.
"Who's there?" Giles called out.
When Harmony came in, moving awkwardly, with odd empathic shoulder movements, Willow just knew there was someone else in there, not Harmony. Thank God. Harmony was not her favorite person, and vampirehood had not improved her. Thought how could you blame her for that, really, when she had died fighting bravely with the whole senior class? Actually, that would apply to Spike as well, and to most vampires. Vampires were really victims. Willow shook her head. Thoughts like that would get her killed one day.
"Please, help me," Harmony whined. "I'm so hungry! It smells so good here…"
Giles advanced on Harmony with a crucifix held over his head. "Who is that in here? Xander?"
Harmony nodded pitifully and tossed her disheveled locks. "Yes. What are you doing here, sweetie pie? I'm looking for the owner, Mr. Giles."
"I am Giles, you dolt. Don't you realize everybody has been magicked into another body?"
"Oh. Okay, I guess Riley told me, but I didn't really believe it. I mean, Riley hasn't changed!"
All heads turned to Spike, who'd been keeping to the back of the store. He lifted his hands as if to ward off their accusing looks.
"Never said I was Riley. Harris here just assumed I was," he said
Harmony's mouth fell open in indignation. "That is so unfair. You know what he did to me? He…"
She fell silent, and waved away their concerned questions. Willow thought she should be glad Riley hadn't staked her. No, Xander should be glad Spike hadn't eaten him? Or the other way around? It was hard to keep track of all the ramifications.
"We'd offer you pizza, Xander, but I guess that's not what you'd like?" Willow said.
Xander shook his head mutely. "Where's Buffy?" he said. "Kicking demon ass I hope?"
Willow nodded at the wheezing octogenarian next to her.
Harmony's face fell. "Oh. She's out for the count, huh?"
He sidled over to Riley, who'd rapidly eaten two slices of pizza, and then retired to the ladder again. Willow was left with most of one pizza, and with a guilty feeling started on her third slice. She'd denied her body all day, and the presence of the food was just too much for her. In between the delights of eating, she overheard snatches of whispered conversation between Xander and Spike.
"…really mean it?"
"…it was just a …"
"…gay? …"
"…hands off me!"
The whispering made it hard to distinguish who was saying what. She stooped chewing, trying to hear better, when suddenly she started to feel dizzy. The pizza came closer and closer, and she felt herself falling into the gaping hole of a black olive.
******
Willow's nose was squashed unpleasantly against something cool and hard, very unlike pizza. She lifted her head, and discovered she was hovering very far above one of the little table sat the Espresso Pump. A thick, veiny and hairy hand was lying on the table. She was a guy now? A furtive check of her body confirmed this. The hovering feeling was caused by being pretty tall. The hand and the watch seemed familiar, but the khakis and loose sweater were too bland to give any information. She'd better check it out in the toilet. She remembered to take a sharp left at the man's toilets, giving herself a mental pat on the back for her presence of mind. When she saw whom she was wearing, she gave a delighted gasp. Giles! At least she'd have a full size brain to play with.
Whoever had inhabited Giles previously had remembered to bring money, and Willow treated herself to her second double espresso that day instead of the hot chocolate the body had been drinking. Feeling sharp and alert, she weighed her options. Locator spell wasn't needed right now, everybody knew to come to the Magic Box. Undoubtedly, Ethan had affected another change to throw them off the trail. They wouldn't know his new body. They would have to find the place where he performed his ritual; because there was no way this kind of magic could have affected without using lots of power. There must be traces.
Willow got up and purposefully went to the Magic Box. She enjoyed the feeling of Giles' long long legs eating away the distance easily. It was as if she had waddled all her life and this was really walking for the first time. Her arms moved differently, straighter somehow. Sooner than she had thought, the shop came into view. The others were probably inside already.
No, she was the first. The only person in the shop was the old lady who'd contained Buffy earlier on, sleeping peacefully at the big table. Willow decided to let her sleep. She swung herself onto the counter, a feat she could easily perform now, and perched there feeling triumphant. The shop bell rang and a nondescript middle-aged man came in uncertainly. His face lit up when he saw Willow.
"Giles? Man, am I glad to see you!"
"Xander? It's Willow!"
"Even better!" Xander made as if to hug her, and then suddenly changed his mind and twitched away from her.
"You're way jumpy," Willow observed.
"Whaddya think? Inhabiting Harmony, who's not only the greatest ditz this side of Hollywood but a vampire too? I don't know if it was just her, or all vampires, but she sniffed every person, every street lamp, every bit of demon goo I never even would have noticed…" He shivered exaggeratedly.
Waffley Xander was usually evadey Xander. "What happened between you and Spike?" Willow asked innocently.
Xander scratched his balding head. "Um. Actually, I bit him. I drank his blood. Talk about ew!"
"You drank his blood? No kidding? What was it like?"
"It was gross! Can you imagine drinking blood? It seemed hot, you know, and sweet and coppery and …" His voice trailed off, a faraway look in his eyes. "Better than sex, you know."
"But you don't know what vampire sex feels like," Willow objected. "That might be even…oh. Ew. Who did you have sex w…Oh. Ew. Eww!"
A silence fell. Guilt rose.
"Oh no!" Willow said. "Oh Xander! I'm such a bad friend! There is nothing wrong with two guys having sex! Are you gay now? Do you want to go on a double date with me and Tara? With, um, Spike or Riley?"
Xander looked miserable and confused. "I just don't know, Will. I mean, I was a girl, I…"
He was saved by the bell. Harmony came in again, arm tightly held by the woman next to her.
"Hello," Harmony mumbled, apparently unable to meet their eyes.
"Slut!" Xander came up to her and slapped her face. "Having sex left and right! How could you!"
"Xander?" Willow didn't know what to think.
"Will you keep your hands to yourself, Xander," Harmony said between clenched teeth. "It's hard enough to control myself as it is! I won't be responsible for the consequences if you do it again."
"Oh. Hi Giles."
Willow swung her legs, still happily seated next to the cash register. "Giles? How come you weren't here when I came in? You must have switched inside the shop!"
Giles evaded her eyes, and mumbled something about "uncontrollable impulses". Hm. Xander had done a better job holding Harmony in check than Giles…Willow stifled a giggle. Hee. Giles had a really funny high-pitched giggle.
"I fail to see the humor in this, Willow," Giles said stiffly.
The woman who'd brought in Giles waved at Willow. "Hi," she said softly.
Willow dropped in a pit of guilt. Tara had been in here for minutes, waiting patiently until everybody was ready with Giles, and she hadn't even seen! She jumped off the counter and hugged Tara.
"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was you. I'm a bad girlfriend for not noticing it was you…"
Tara winced slightly. Willow drew back and looked at her with concern.
"What is it, baby?"
Tara's hand went to her neck, and her eyes shot to Giles and back. "Um, there was a s..slight misunderstanding."
Willow wasn't satisfied with that and drew back Tara's hand to check her neck. Two ugly ragged puncture wounds were visible just below her ear.
"Giles!" Willow said angrily. "How could you!"
The bell rang. Right behind each other, a tall, voluptuous woman and Joyce walked in. Willow experienced another pang of guilt. Joyce! They hadn't even thought of her. And now Spike probably lived inside her body.
"Hey guys," Joyce, said, shouldering the other woman side without a thought. "I'm back! Who's who?"
She let out a peal of laughter when she saw Harmony. "Jeez! Am I glad I didn't end up in here! You still in there, Xan?" she said, peering in to Harmony's eyes.
"No, it's me, Rupert Giles. Buffy?" he added hopefully,
"None other. This is so depressing. Did you know Mom's hips are twice as wide as mine? I keep bumping into things. And her feet hurt. It really sucks to grow old, guys, I can tell you that."
"Joyce certainly isn't old," Giles defended her. "A very attractive woman."
"Don't you think you and me are gonna do funny business on top of police-cars," Buffy warned him. She mimicked "big hips" to Willow. "Is that you, Will? The toe twirling will betray you anywhere."
Willow hastily stilled her nervous legs.
The tall woman had followed all this with a bored lift of her eyebrow. With a sigh, she sauntered over to the ladder and sat down. "Expect you've done bugger all since the shift, have you? Just been standing around yapping and bonding, just like this morning. When is our little witch here gonna twitch her magic tail and get us a lead? Me and Buffy the Middle-aged Slayer will kick his ass, if you point us in the right direction."
"We're still missing Riley," Buffy pointed out, ignoring Spike's comment.
Harmony stood up straighter. "This once, Spike's right. We need to move. Willow and Tara, can you set up some sort of locator spell for us? Ethan must have left a trace."
"What!" Buffy exclaimed. "Him again? He still owes me big for having that tattoo removed! Besides, he's supposed to be locked up in some military jail."
"Yeah," Xander chimed in, who'd been nervously following Spike's movements, and now was standing as far away from him as possible. "Where is Soldier Boy when we need him?"
Willow pulled Tara along by her hand. "Come on sweetie, we're gonna set up a spell in the storage room. It's a little full here, we need to concentrate."
"Oi!" Spike called after them "Need another bird to help with the concentrating?"
"No way!" Tara called back with a wide smile and they disappeared down the stairs.
TBC