Disclaimer: Don't own, so don't sue.
Operation: Lizzie's Yearbook: Part One
Where we left off:
Then I accidentally looked at Lizzie and froze. The moonlight was spilling in the window and was bathing her in a silver glow. She looked perfect, angelic, amazing…like the woman I loved.
"Lizzie, you're beautiful," I whispered to a silent room.
I shook myself out of my trance and raced out the window.
I arrived back in my room at approximately 1:15 am.
Ohhhhh, I am in so much trouble if anyone finds out.
Where we pick back up and continue:
4:15 am – McGuire Central.
I let myself in the front door (no, the McGuires aren't stupid enough to leave their door open at 4 in the morning. I have a key) and shook my head again. I had been right – I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. I mean, I don't remember staying awake the whole time, but I know I didn't get any real sleep.
I took a deep breath and started up the stairs towards Lizzie's room.
I pushed the door lightly and watched it swing open. The room was dark and in the absolute silence I could hear Lizzie's every breath.
I tiptoed over to her bed and just stood there for a moment, watching her doze peacefully.
"Lizzie," I whispered, putting my hand on her shoulder. Standing there, my hand on her, I could feel her pulse, and I could feel mine, and they were beating together.
This thought freaked me out so much that I jerked my hand and shook her awake in the process.
"Ow—what?" Lizzie squinted at me in the dark. "Gordo? What time is it?"
"Uh…4 am?"
Lizzie groaned and lay back down on her bed.
I just watched her lay there. After about three minutes she said, "I guess I should get up and start getting ready, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess so." I laughed.
She got and stumbled into the bathroom.
I laid back on her bed and, honestly, I only planned to wait for her, but a half hour later, I woke to Lizzie shaking me, and saying, "Gordo! Get up! We're gonna miss the sunrise!"
I jumped up right away and looked around wildly. Looking for the sunrise…? I don't know. I guess she just startled me.
Anyway, Lizzie grabbed the small backpack that she had packed the night before for our hike, and as soon as we had stuffed some snacks and water bottles into it, we set out for Parada Point. (A Note: I really know nothing about ridges or points, but the Hillridge ridge and Parada Point are the same thing.)
No one really knows why this point is called "Parada." It's Spanish for "standstill," loosely translated.
When we got to the bottom of the ridge (after taking a very long, bumpy bus ride there), we just looked up. Sort of in awe, I think, of how far we would have to climb. There wasn't really any sign of the sun rising yet, but we knew it would start rising within the hour, and we wanted to be at the top by then. So we set off. Er…up, I mean.
After about ten minutes, I was panting like some crazy asthmatic dog, and Lizzie was wide-eyed and moving fast.
"Come on, Gordo!" she kept calling back to me.
"I'm coming!" I would wheeze, stumbling to move faster.
A half hour later or so I collapsed along the side of the path.
"Oh my gosh! Gordo!" Lizzie came scurrying up to me, and even though my eyes were closed, I knew exactly what she was doing. I heard her unzip the pack and pull out the water bottle. After splashing some water on a towel and putting it to my forehead, she began stroking my cheek and murmuring to me to wake up.
I have to stop here and explain that even though I had collapsed, that was still no excuse for me to do anything out of the normal range of my actions. Such as propose marriage to her, which I was about to do, since her stroking my cheek like that was driving me insane.
I opened my eyes and sat up. She handed me the bottle of water and I began downing it thirstily.
As soon as I had emptied the bottle and had a nice rest, we started up again. This time, Lizzie was careful to keep the same pace as me. I felt bad that I was slowing us down, but then again, Lizzie wasn't mentioning anything about disliking walking with me.
We were silent the whole way up, except when Lizzie would ask me if I wanted to slow down or rest or drink more water. I declined each offer, because each time I checked my watch, I saw that we were closer and closer to the newspaper's predicted sunrise time, and I didn't want to miss this—not for Lizzie.
So we trucked on. And we finally made it to the top.
And it was beautiful.
We could see forever off the edge of the cliff, and I felt like I was on top of the world. There was a cool stream of wind blowing up the cliff and right over us. It made Lizzie's hair fly back behind her, which in turn made my breath catch in my throat. I took deep calming breaths and focused on wiggling my toes, but it didn't help.
It was still dark out, but the sky was turning steadily grayer as the Earth turned.
We laid out the blanket we had packed and settled near the edge of the ridge together.
We didn't have long to wait before a thin gray-pink line appeared along the horizon, and soon it had turned into a fiery orange glow.
We both watched in absolute awe as the colors changed and grew, until the san was up and had soaked everything in a warm, citrus light.
I checked my watch. It was only 5:23am. How had it gone by that fast?
I saw Lizzie, and felt my eyes widen and make frantic attempts to refocus. She looked like a goddess, laying out on Mount Olympus. I reached for my water bottle but it was empty.
"I'm gonna go refill this," I stammered, scrambling to my feet and hurrying off to the small creek that ran through the woods.
I was gone for no more than ten minutes, but when I started back for the blanket, I almost wished I had taken less time.
Because sitting there on the blanket was Lizzie.
And in her hands was her yearbook.
And it was open to the page that I had written to her on.
I moved closer (slowly, since my feet didn't seem to be working properly and my legs were numb), but she didn't stir. She was absorbed in reading that book, and since the only other entries on that page were mostly along the lines of "H.A.G.S. Lizzie!" I could only assume that she was reading my message.
I recited the message to myself in my mind, knowing that Lizzie was reading the very same words as I stood there.
Dear Lizzie,
You rock. Don't ever change. Only I really mean it.
There's something I've been meaning to tell you for the past few weeks. For a while now, I've thought of you as more than just my best friend. I've seen you as less of a friend and more of a girl. Lizzie, I've had a crush on you for more than two years and I just wanted to tell you that as we start high school, I will always be there for you. Whether you want me there just as your friend, or as more, know that I will never leave your side.
All my love,
GordoI'm beginning to think that the "all my love" at the end might have been too much. I mean, here I come out and tell Lizzie that I have a crush on her, and then I go and throw "all my love" in her face. That's it. I'm dead. I am dead. She will not stand for this. And speaking of standing, I'm having trouble doing so. I had been so still for so long that I had sort of sprouted roots to that spot. But as soon as this realization of sudden death came upon me, I tripped (I'm not really sure how I tripped when I wasn't moving, but I guess that's just one of life's mysteries) and Lizzie whipped around when she heard me.
She opened her mouth and I could see the word "Gordo" formed on her lips. She cannot talk, for some reason I know not.
I walk forward, which is another one of life's mysteries, because I had been beginning to think that my muscles had dissolved. I sit down on the far side of the blanket, giving Lizzie some room, if she wants it.
She holds up the yearbook, her thumb inside the cover, marking the page she had just read. "I read your…thing."
"Yeah," I say, because that's just about the only coherent thing I'm able to force out of my mouth.
"Gordo, I--"
"Lizzie, if you want you can just ignore everything I wrote in there. I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, I totally should have considered your feelings before I went off and started rambling about how I think of you—" As I go to take a breath, Lizzie's fingers find their way to my mouth and she's holding it shut. And thank heavens, too, because now I seem to have found more than enough things to say, and in my current state of panic about her reaction, I'm very prepared to rattle off all of them. Although I must say that thus far, Lizzie seems rather calm, so either she's planning to let me know gently and quietly what she thinks, or this is just the calm before the storm, and I'm getting it big time.
"Gordo – I – " She's pausing, and she seems unable to find her words. Either that or she's not sure what to say. Or maybe I'm completely wrong, because even though I'm best friends with two girls, I am no better at reading them than the next guy. Well…maybe a little better, but I can think about this later, when the issue of whether the girl of my dreams likes me back or not isn't sitting in front of me with bated breath.
"I already knew that you liked me," she says in a rush.
I feel the familiar sensation of all the air leaving my lungs, like I did yesterday when Lizzie landed on me. Except this time she's nowhere near my chest, and the weight on me is greater.
"How?" I manage weakly.
"Kate told me at the murder mystery party."
"Oh." I feel absolutely pathetic. She already knew. And I wrote everything out anyway, making me an even bigger loser, because now, instead of just having Kate's words in her head, she has it in writing that I had a crush on her. And she can look back years from now and go "Hm, hm, hm. Silly Gordo had to go and write to me about his dumb little crush. It's so sad about his death. I thought it was physically impossible to die of embarrassment, though. Strange…"
I guess I must have been moving to get up or leave or something, because I feel Lizzie's hand on my arm pulling me back to Earth, and she says: "Gordo—wait!"
I look at her. "Yeah?"
"I wasn't finished," she says softly.
I just stare at her, and after a few seconds, when she realizes that I'm not saying anymore, she says, "I already knew that you liked me, but I didn't know how I felt about you." I nod for her to go on. "I always want to have you around as my friend. But until recently, actually today, I thought I only wanted you as a friend."
I'm pretty sure I now where she's going with this, but I nod her on anyway and wait for her to say it.
"Gordo…" She's back to being unable to find her words.
I look into her eyes, and for the first time, I see something like… longing. Huh. This is something new and different. Since when has she ever longed for anything other than new shoes or a bigger allowance?
Anyway, since by now my brain is too numb to process anything as simple as the weather, I do the only thing I can think of (provided courtesy of my heart) and lean forward and kiss her.
I feel as if a bolt of lightning has just shot through me, so I jerk back and stare at her with wide eyes. I can see by the look on her face that the lightning made it's way through her as well.
She's opening her mouth over and over, trying to find her voice. After about a minute of such mouthing, she comes forward and kisses me.
I put a hand back to steady myself, and then a hand on her waist. Soon it doesn't matter if I'm steadying myself or not, because Lizzie's on top of me and we're laying on the ground.
We're sharing short desperate kisses, that have probably been saved up forever, and even though there are some annoyingly sharp rocks stabbing me in the back, the pain isn't worth moving. Because I have Lizzie's lips on mine, and I can taste her lip-gloss, and our hands are in each other's hair, and all I can think about is the sunrise, although I can't reason why.
Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Lizzie sits up. She's panting, and after a few seconds of heavy breathing I realize that I am, too.
We're looking at each other and suddenly what comes to mind is the ridge we're on. Parada Point. Standstill. And I know what it means. We're at a standstill, a deadlock, neither one of us is moving, both waiting for the other to move first.
So I do.
"Lizzie."
"Gordo, you're amazing."
Okay, if anything, I defiantly wasn't expecting that. And what does she mean by it, anyway? What does amazing mean? To her? To me?
"I – what?" I say intelligently.
"You are such an amazing person." I'm think about how in movies, when someone comes up to someone else and starts saying stuff to them, they always turn around to look because maybe that person is talking to someone behind them, and I'm preparing to do this, when Lizzie continues:
"You have stood by me for ever and supported me in everything, even when it would hurt you."
Well…yeah. I mean, why wouldn't I? Why shouldn't I risk myself when thee was Lizzie to please? Her happiness has always been my number one priority.
"And that's why I like you so much."
Whoa! Gordo scores big! He gets the ultimate make-out session with his best friend and then he hears that she likes him! Nice shooting, Gordo, old pal.
"No. Wait."
No? What? Wait why? Why wait? What? What?
"That's why I love you so much."
Now that's what I like to hear.
I smile. "I love you, too, Lizzie."
"You're not just saying that because I did, are you? 'Cause don't say it if you don't mean it. I really, really, really want to know how you feel, because I figure I've ignored you and your opinion for long enough, and—"
She would have continued, but she told me later that it's extremely hard to finish a sentence when the mouth of the person you love is pressed up against yours.
At around 6:30, Lizzie and I packed up our stuff and made our way slowly down the wooded path that had lead us to the top. We held hands the whole was down and talked softly, discussing anything and everything that involved us.
"So, how did you get my yearbook, anyway?" She asked.
I grinned at the memory. "You may never know."
She laughed and hit me playfully.
We reached the bottom of the ridge and waited for Mr. McGuire to being us home.
Once we reached the McGuire's house, I collapsed on Lizzie's bed, and she meted onto the mattress next to me. Lizzie's dad barely had time to put our stuff on the floor and draw the covers over us before we were fast asleep.
I knew that our lives were changed forever. Even though it turns out that I needn't have gone to all that trouble to tell Lizzie how I feel, I'm glad I did it. If I hadn't, it might have been years before we ended up together. And I'm pretty please with the way everything unfolded. I'll carry this day with me forever. And I'll always remember Parada Point and the beautiful, growing sunset, so like our relationship, building, building, until it blazed like a beating heart.
I think we're in love. But it doesn't matter if we're not. Because we will be someday. And it'll last forever. And it'll be great.
~T*H*E ~ E*N*D~
(A Note: So…did you like it? Review and let me know! And hey, if you have a minute, drop me a line, cause I love getting praise! And email! LOL, kiddin'. But write to me anyway! b.katherine!stribmail.com)