Chapter 33
The Ties That Bind
"Obi-Wan?"
He looked up at the sound of the Jedi Master's voice. He was seated beside Sabé's bed, her hand twined in his as she slept. She'd been quiet since he'd announced their impending journey to rejoin Anakin and Padmé, and though he was thankful for her acceptance of the idea, he was worried about what she was leaving unspoken. "Master Windu."
"How is she?"
"Feeling better, Master. I'm a little worried over her reaction to the council's decision, though."
"Walk with me Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan stood, gently untangling his hand from Sabé's and kissing the back of her fingers before crossing the room to the Jedi Master.
They stepped out into the hallway, their pace slow, as Mace began to speak. "Sabé has been through much. It was the decision of the council, pending her actions and reactions before the accident, to grant your desire. However, with this injury, she's been reminded just how dangerous her profession is. The chances of losing her early in life are very high."
"But she can't perform those duties now."
"And you expect that she'll simply allow you to come and go?" Mace arched an eyebrow at him, "An active woman like her?"
Obi-Wan had the grace to look chagrined. "I don't know what I expect, Master. All I know is that I am attached, drawn to her in ways I've never been with anyone else. Her death would have crippled me in ways I've never even dreamt of. I can't imagine losing her now."
"Yet she has refused to allow this Life bond?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Master. I'm not sure how I can convince her otherwise."
Mace stopped, turning to look at him. "Is it your place to convince her of something she may no longer want, Obi-Wan?"
He paused. He hadn't thought of that. "But, why wouldn't she?"
Mace shook his head sadly. "You have wisdom Obi-Wan, but it's sadly lacking when you look at yourself. Talk to her, find out what she feels and simply listen. Her reasons may be surprising."
Obi-Wan nodded, inclining his upper body to the Master Jedi. "Thank you, Master. I'll do that. We leave for the lake country tomorrow, will you be joining us?"
Mace shook his head. "No, Master Yoda returned today and we will be returning to Coruscant to help reform the council. We will have to carefully study the methods Carré is using to hide herself from us and find a way to get around them. We must be able to detect her or other Jedi may suffer the fates of the council."
"I understand Master. May the Force be with you."
"May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan." Mace inclined his head to the Jedi Knight and nodded back the way they came. "My best wished to you and your lady."
"Thank you Master." Obi-Wan waited until Mace had turned the corner and then turned to head back towards Sabé's room. Master Windu had given him much to think about.
Sabé was awake when Obi-Wan returned and sitting up in her bed, a tray on her lap. A medic was just arranging the sheets around her waist as she enjoyed a small meal. At Obi-Wan's entrance, the medic looked up, opened her mouth and then closed it with a snap. Something in his face must have cued her that this wasn't a good time to confront him. She scurried out, closing the door behind her.
Sabé watched him as he stalked towards her, a swagger in his step, purpose written in ever line of his body. She took a sip of her soup before placing the spoon on the tray next to the bowl. She lifted it and placed it on the table next to the bed as Obi-Wan stopped beside her. She sat back against her pillows, "Alright, what is it?"
"I think you and I should talk."
She arched an eyebrow. "Talk? You and me? It will never happen. I'm starting to wonder if you can do anything but talk with that mouth of yours."
He blinked, the saucy comment completely unexpected from her. "I... what?!"
She laughed softly, smiling a real smile that stayed for the first time since her surgery. "Sit, Obi-Wan. What's on your mind, you look so serious."
He settled onto the bed next to her, smiling in return. She was so incredibly beautiful it made his heart ache. And almost tore it asunder every time she refused to form the Life bond. "Master Windu suggested I should speak to you at length regarding your objections to forming a Life bond with me."
Her smile slowly faded and she leaned back into the soft pillows. "It really bothers you that much?"
"Well, yes. Why wouldn't it bother me?" He shook his head. "I've asked you to spend the rest of your life with me, joined with me, in a fashion that normal people normally can't achieve. It's a gift the Jedi are still uncertain about, but there's no doubt that the sharing of both souls is absolute."
"Are you listening to yourself, Obi-Wan?" she asked softly, folding her hands in her lap, her fingers picking at the sheet. "Are you listening to what you're feeling?"
"I know what I'm feeling," he assured her, "but there's carefully controlled. I want to understand why you've made your decision. That's all I'm asking."
She bowed her head for a moment collecting her thoughts. Slowly, she lifted it, her gaze unfocused. "Jedi know that two souls join in a Life bond. If one of those people dies, the other is half a soul. I understand this, in fact, I'd be more than willing to go through with it but for one thing." Her eyes focused and she turned to look at him. "You're forgetting I saw Anakin at the base of that pit that was the Queen's wing. I saw him, Obi-Wan. Anakin wanted death; he craved it, invited it, and reached down to use anything to make the pain he was feeling go away. I saw his face when Carré taunted him with Padmé's death. I saw the darkness take hold of him. Anakin lost control, embraced the very thing Jedi are against in an effort to stop the pain. If that's what happens to a Jedi when his Life-Bond is severed, how can I accept such a gift? Is it truly a gift, knowing that it may someday be your downfall?"
Obi-Wan was silent, hearing the pain in her voice. She'd watched his apprentice embrace the darkside and knew why. That, more than anything, had turned her cold. She'd watched Anakin becoming something dangerously volatile and pictured him in Anakin's place.
"It's not because I don't love you, Obi-Wan. I do, truly, more than anyone I've ever loved in my life. I'd like nothing more than to be bonded to you, but I can't get the image of what happened in that pit out of my mind. I can't help but picture you in the same situation, even with your control, and see the same result. Don't think me heartless, but I'm only saying no to protect you. I don't ever want to see you fall like that."
She'd thought this through carefully, he realized. And she'd looked at it from every angle. Obviously, to her, the risks outweighed the gain. "Is that it then?" he asked softly, feeling his heart squeeze painfully. "You won't bond with me so there's nowhere to go from here?"
She grabbed his face in her hands and shook her head. "Never. I may have refused the Jedi bond, but I'd still marry you. We wouldn't have what Anakin and Padmé have, but we could have something special all the same. I still love you and that won't ever change."
He swallowed hard, bending down and enfolding her in a hug tight enough to make her squeak in surprise. He relented a bit, but his grip was still firm. "Thank you." He whispered. He understood now. Fully understood, where her rejection to him had come from. Watching Anakin willingly give in to his despair must have been traumatic for her.
He pulled back after a few moments, smiling softly. "I understand and I will respect your decision. Will you be my wife, Sabé? Bond or no bond, I will love you until the end of my days."
She smiled back, "And I you. I thought you'd never ask."
He leaned down, dealing their promise with a gentle, achingly tender kiss. When she threw her arms around his neck and pulled herself off the bed, he pulled back with a start. "Sabé...?"
She laughed, rising to her knees and letting go of him. His eyes widened. "You're healed?"
She nodded, tears glittering on her eyelashes. "The doctors were able to heal me with their surgery."
"How long have you...?"
"Been able to walk again?"
He nodded.
"About two days."
He recoiled, "Two days! And you didn't tell me?"
She reached out, grabbing him behind the neck and pulling him back. "I had to be sure, Obi-Wan. I've been hurt by men before, but you stuck by me when the going got rough, even asked me to marry you. I love you, Jedi."
He hugged her, pulling her off the bed and twirling her around once in his arms. "I'm so happy for you, Sabé. I know how much being able to walk means to you."
"But not to you," she replied with a soft smile. "Thank you Obi-Wan. For loving me for me and not what I can do for you."
He brushed a strand of hair off her face and cupped her cheek in his hand. "Just returning the favor, handmaiden," he said softly, bending down to kiss her. "Just returning the favor."
The Ties That Bind
"Obi-Wan?"
He looked up at the sound of the Jedi Master's voice. He was seated beside Sabé's bed, her hand twined in his as she slept. She'd been quiet since he'd announced their impending journey to rejoin Anakin and Padmé, and though he was thankful for her acceptance of the idea, he was worried about what she was leaving unspoken. "Master Windu."
"How is she?"
"Feeling better, Master. I'm a little worried over her reaction to the council's decision, though."
"Walk with me Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan stood, gently untangling his hand from Sabé's and kissing the back of her fingers before crossing the room to the Jedi Master.
They stepped out into the hallway, their pace slow, as Mace began to speak. "Sabé has been through much. It was the decision of the council, pending her actions and reactions before the accident, to grant your desire. However, with this injury, she's been reminded just how dangerous her profession is. The chances of losing her early in life are very high."
"But she can't perform those duties now."
"And you expect that she'll simply allow you to come and go?" Mace arched an eyebrow at him, "An active woman like her?"
Obi-Wan had the grace to look chagrined. "I don't know what I expect, Master. All I know is that I am attached, drawn to her in ways I've never been with anyone else. Her death would have crippled me in ways I've never even dreamt of. I can't imagine losing her now."
"Yet she has refused to allow this Life bond?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Master. I'm not sure how I can convince her otherwise."
Mace stopped, turning to look at him. "Is it your place to convince her of something she may no longer want, Obi-Wan?"
He paused. He hadn't thought of that. "But, why wouldn't she?"
Mace shook his head sadly. "You have wisdom Obi-Wan, but it's sadly lacking when you look at yourself. Talk to her, find out what she feels and simply listen. Her reasons may be surprising."
Obi-Wan nodded, inclining his upper body to the Master Jedi. "Thank you, Master. I'll do that. We leave for the lake country tomorrow, will you be joining us?"
Mace shook his head. "No, Master Yoda returned today and we will be returning to Coruscant to help reform the council. We will have to carefully study the methods Carré is using to hide herself from us and find a way to get around them. We must be able to detect her or other Jedi may suffer the fates of the council."
"I understand Master. May the Force be with you."
"May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan." Mace inclined his head to the Jedi Knight and nodded back the way they came. "My best wished to you and your lady."
"Thank you Master." Obi-Wan waited until Mace had turned the corner and then turned to head back towards Sabé's room. Master Windu had given him much to think about.
Sabé was awake when Obi-Wan returned and sitting up in her bed, a tray on her lap. A medic was just arranging the sheets around her waist as she enjoyed a small meal. At Obi-Wan's entrance, the medic looked up, opened her mouth and then closed it with a snap. Something in his face must have cued her that this wasn't a good time to confront him. She scurried out, closing the door behind her.
Sabé watched him as he stalked towards her, a swagger in his step, purpose written in ever line of his body. She took a sip of her soup before placing the spoon on the tray next to the bowl. She lifted it and placed it on the table next to the bed as Obi-Wan stopped beside her. She sat back against her pillows, "Alright, what is it?"
"I think you and I should talk."
She arched an eyebrow. "Talk? You and me? It will never happen. I'm starting to wonder if you can do anything but talk with that mouth of yours."
He blinked, the saucy comment completely unexpected from her. "I... what?!"
She laughed softly, smiling a real smile that stayed for the first time since her surgery. "Sit, Obi-Wan. What's on your mind, you look so serious."
He settled onto the bed next to her, smiling in return. She was so incredibly beautiful it made his heart ache. And almost tore it asunder every time she refused to form the Life bond. "Master Windu suggested I should speak to you at length regarding your objections to forming a Life bond with me."
Her smile slowly faded and she leaned back into the soft pillows. "It really bothers you that much?"
"Well, yes. Why wouldn't it bother me?" He shook his head. "I've asked you to spend the rest of your life with me, joined with me, in a fashion that normal people normally can't achieve. It's a gift the Jedi are still uncertain about, but there's no doubt that the sharing of both souls is absolute."
"Are you listening to yourself, Obi-Wan?" she asked softly, folding her hands in her lap, her fingers picking at the sheet. "Are you listening to what you're feeling?"
"I know what I'm feeling," he assured her, "but there's carefully controlled. I want to understand why you've made your decision. That's all I'm asking."
She bowed her head for a moment collecting her thoughts. Slowly, she lifted it, her gaze unfocused. "Jedi know that two souls join in a Life bond. If one of those people dies, the other is half a soul. I understand this, in fact, I'd be more than willing to go through with it but for one thing." Her eyes focused and she turned to look at him. "You're forgetting I saw Anakin at the base of that pit that was the Queen's wing. I saw him, Obi-Wan. Anakin wanted death; he craved it, invited it, and reached down to use anything to make the pain he was feeling go away. I saw his face when Carré taunted him with Padmé's death. I saw the darkness take hold of him. Anakin lost control, embraced the very thing Jedi are against in an effort to stop the pain. If that's what happens to a Jedi when his Life-Bond is severed, how can I accept such a gift? Is it truly a gift, knowing that it may someday be your downfall?"
Obi-Wan was silent, hearing the pain in her voice. She'd watched his apprentice embrace the darkside and knew why. That, more than anything, had turned her cold. She'd watched Anakin becoming something dangerously volatile and pictured him in Anakin's place.
"It's not because I don't love you, Obi-Wan. I do, truly, more than anyone I've ever loved in my life. I'd like nothing more than to be bonded to you, but I can't get the image of what happened in that pit out of my mind. I can't help but picture you in the same situation, even with your control, and see the same result. Don't think me heartless, but I'm only saying no to protect you. I don't ever want to see you fall like that."
She'd thought this through carefully, he realized. And she'd looked at it from every angle. Obviously, to her, the risks outweighed the gain. "Is that it then?" he asked softly, feeling his heart squeeze painfully. "You won't bond with me so there's nowhere to go from here?"
She grabbed his face in her hands and shook her head. "Never. I may have refused the Jedi bond, but I'd still marry you. We wouldn't have what Anakin and Padmé have, but we could have something special all the same. I still love you and that won't ever change."
He swallowed hard, bending down and enfolding her in a hug tight enough to make her squeak in surprise. He relented a bit, but his grip was still firm. "Thank you." He whispered. He understood now. Fully understood, where her rejection to him had come from. Watching Anakin willingly give in to his despair must have been traumatic for her.
He pulled back after a few moments, smiling softly. "I understand and I will respect your decision. Will you be my wife, Sabé? Bond or no bond, I will love you until the end of my days."
She smiled back, "And I you. I thought you'd never ask."
He leaned down, dealing their promise with a gentle, achingly tender kiss. When she threw her arms around his neck and pulled herself off the bed, he pulled back with a start. "Sabé...?"
She laughed, rising to her knees and letting go of him. His eyes widened. "You're healed?"
She nodded, tears glittering on her eyelashes. "The doctors were able to heal me with their surgery."
"How long have you...?"
"Been able to walk again?"
He nodded.
"About two days."
He recoiled, "Two days! And you didn't tell me?"
She reached out, grabbing him behind the neck and pulling him back. "I had to be sure, Obi-Wan. I've been hurt by men before, but you stuck by me when the going got rough, even asked me to marry you. I love you, Jedi."
He hugged her, pulling her off the bed and twirling her around once in his arms. "I'm so happy for you, Sabé. I know how much being able to walk means to you."
"But not to you," she replied with a soft smile. "Thank you Obi-Wan. For loving me for me and not what I can do for you."
He brushed a strand of hair off her face and cupped her cheek in his hand. "Just returning the favor, handmaiden," he said softly, bending down to kiss her. "Just returning the favor."