Rain, My Sorrow
A Flame of Recca fic by Andrea Weiling
It was a black, black day. Rain drizzled drearily over Japan, storm clouds rumbling every now and then. In the cemetery, Mikagami Tokiya stood over his sister's grave, looking at the tombstone with unreadable eyes. A bouquet lay coldly and sacrificially on the stone altar, looking for all to see abandoned, broken. The flowers were already wilting from the onslaught of rain. He had already been there for an hour or more, just thinking, pensively going over the memories since the last time he had visited, certain that somewhere in Heaven, his sister was hearing his unsaid words. He did not speak, his lips tight with something like anger. But he wasn't angry - just regretful. He was wasting his life for her, after all. He could not live a truly 'normal' life of a student until he avenged her.
Almost as if waking from a trance, his eyes seemed to clear into the pointed concentration that he usually exuded. He nudged closer to the tomb, now shading the flowers. He would be gone in a few minutes; though the flowers were already soaked and battered beyond repair, he thought he might offer a few moments of comfort before he left. Ironically, he realized he had never done that for an other human before - yet here he was, doing it for a couple of inanimate objects. How humane he was, he thought sarcastically.
A vision rose in his mind, and his mind started to wander again. This was the only place where he allowed himself to wander amid the world of his mind, not focusing on revenge - whether it was sun or rain, this was the only place he could bring himself to relax in. Here, the memories he gathered from everyday life (and the occasional series of fighting that he got from hanging around with people who attracted trouble) could be reflected on without bias of foreshadowing revenge; he could see them as a normal person would, and he could find them just as other people would, happy or sad or humorous. It was too bad that the cemetery wasn't close to his apartment, he would have visited everyday if it had been, just to find the peace of mind he found there.
It was time to go.
He turned, the umbrella giving an elegant twirl as he made his way down the row of graves. A splash of color to his right caught his attention, and a little curiously he lifted his eyes to see who it was who found solace among the graves as he did. Red-clad, black-haired, looking very much like -
- Kurei!
It seemed that Kurei noticed him the exact same moment that he had noticed him. For a moment they just stared warily at each other, half- crouched in position, both of them reading the other's body language: "This is my place, who dares disturb my peace?". The slowly, Kurei relaxed, until finally only his eyes were hostile, piercing in their intensity. Slowly Mikagami followed suit, until they were only the dullest remembrances of enemies, only a row of graves standing between them. It was ironic, Mikagami thought, that someone like Kurei could be an enemy and yet understand more completely than anyone else in the Hokage what it was to lose someone you loved. They had a lot in common, he realized. It really was a pity that Kurei was his enemy.
He wasn't sure what prompted him to move, but he did - over the single line of graves that separated them. A few moments later he was standing in front of the leader of the Jyusshinshu. This man had once beaten him in combat, and probably would do so again hands-down if they had chosen to fight. Mikagami chose to ignore his Ensui burning in his pocket. He valued his life more than a whim, and he didn't want to destroy the peace that he had found in the cemetery. Something about the place made him more sentimental than he usually was. If he fought and somehow survived, he was sure he wouldn't be able to look at the cemetery the same way ever again.
He glanced at the grave Kurei was standing protectively over. The name was unfamiliar, but he figured it must be Kurenai if Kurei came all the way to the cemetery across town to visit it. There wasn't really anyone else he could think of that Kurei could feel emotional about. He didn't really want to care, but he really did sympathize with Kurei's position. It was very justified, after all - and in plain black-and-white, it was all very logical how Kurei went with things. That was a large aspect of what Mikagami respected in him.
"Her body was absorbed in your flame, wasn't it?"
"Yes. But I felt it was appropriate to give her a grave anyway, even with no funeral."
"I would have thought you'd like to have her grave close to you."
"She would be lonely with no other spirits to talk to."
Kurei forcibly turned his body to face the tombstone. His eyes betrayed nothing, not even the slightest amount of sadness; instead, anger radiated coolly from the depths of his soul, daring Mikagami to say anything else. Mikagami didn't; he could read Kurei's actions well enough. After a moment, though, he stood close enough so that the black umbrella covered both of them. Not that it would have helped; Kurei was already soaked to the skin.
Kurei glared at him. Apparently he read the gesture as temporary fake sympathy. "I don't NEED your help."
Mikagami would have liked to retort dryly, but this was Kurei he was talking to. "Believe me, I don't need yours either. I'm not asking for any." After a minute of staring at each other, he added, "Don't say anything, if you don't want me to hear anything. I don't say anything to Mifuyu; it's all in my head. I believe she can hear it, wherever she is in Heaven. If you say it in your mind, I can't hear it, right?"
Kurei spun to face the grave again. Mikagami wondered if he was revealing too much of himself. He was just wondering if Kurei would just like to keep the umbrella when the older Hokage brother said, "But it sounds definite when you say it out loud."
"Nothing is definite", came Mikagami's cryptic reply. "Words are meaningless; the souls in Heaven will hear your emotions much louder." And after giving that advice, the Ensui master wondered if he was becoming philosophical in his young age.
Kurei seemed to reach a decision. He stooped, feeling the grain of cut stone brush against his black gloves. For a moment, he seemed lost in his memories - his eyes were seeing something other than the tombstone, some far-off memory when the world was perfectly harmonious. Mikagami knew that feeling, and regretted everyday he had spent with his sister that he didn't take advantage of. Finally Kurei straightened stiffly, but his feet seemed to be firmly rooted in front of the grave.
"You won't repeat anything I say here to anyone?", he said calmly, making it more threat than request.
"No", Mikagami answered, equally firm.
He bent low again, his glove tracing the stylized angel wings at the top of the tombstone. Then, so low and so soft that Mikagami almost didn't catch it, he whispered the words that Mikagami had always sought to say to his sister when he was standing in front of her grave:
"I love you."
His fingers lingered on the wet stone, then he stood quickly, almost embarrassed. Mikagami found himself looking anywhere by Kurei's face. He knew it had been one of those moments where a person bared their soul to the rest of the world.
In sync, they started walking out of the cemetery. At the gate, Mikagami pushed the umbrella into Kurei's hands clumsily. He was no good at giving gifts, not in the sun or the rain. As soon as he handed the umbrella away, the drizzle turned to a rising patter of water against the concrete and the lone car in the parking lot. Mikagami's coat soaked up the rain like a sponge, and within a minute, his shoulders were numb with the cold. Still Kurei continued to look at him. Then, the hand with the umbrella came to shoulder the umbrella over his head. Mikagami resisted the urge to squint; his bangs were plastered to his forehead.
With a parting look that told him everything he wanted to say, Kurei turned and walked out of the parking lot. Five steps onto the sidewalk, he melted into the freezing onslaught of rain that Mikagami remained under. The Ensui master wondered just what insane part of his brain had made him do that. Finally, realizing that he had been staring at the place where Kurei had disappeared for almost ten minutes and that he was almost completely soaked, he walked to his car. The water squished in his shoes, but he didn't care. He was still wondering what god it was that made him see kindred spirits in the strangest of places.
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
Author's note:
Well, that didn't take TOO long, now did it? Hope you all enjoyed it. It rather came to me as I was lying in bed during the weekend and saw that it was going to rain soon. I guess it's weird I'm writing something FoR now, especially when I haven't written anything since last summer. . .
Andrea Weiling
A Flame of Recca fic by Andrea Weiling
It was a black, black day. Rain drizzled drearily over Japan, storm clouds rumbling every now and then. In the cemetery, Mikagami Tokiya stood over his sister's grave, looking at the tombstone with unreadable eyes. A bouquet lay coldly and sacrificially on the stone altar, looking for all to see abandoned, broken. The flowers were already wilting from the onslaught of rain. He had already been there for an hour or more, just thinking, pensively going over the memories since the last time he had visited, certain that somewhere in Heaven, his sister was hearing his unsaid words. He did not speak, his lips tight with something like anger. But he wasn't angry - just regretful. He was wasting his life for her, after all. He could not live a truly 'normal' life of a student until he avenged her.
Almost as if waking from a trance, his eyes seemed to clear into the pointed concentration that he usually exuded. He nudged closer to the tomb, now shading the flowers. He would be gone in a few minutes; though the flowers were already soaked and battered beyond repair, he thought he might offer a few moments of comfort before he left. Ironically, he realized he had never done that for an other human before - yet here he was, doing it for a couple of inanimate objects. How humane he was, he thought sarcastically.
A vision rose in his mind, and his mind started to wander again. This was the only place where he allowed himself to wander amid the world of his mind, not focusing on revenge - whether it was sun or rain, this was the only place he could bring himself to relax in. Here, the memories he gathered from everyday life (and the occasional series of fighting that he got from hanging around with people who attracted trouble) could be reflected on without bias of foreshadowing revenge; he could see them as a normal person would, and he could find them just as other people would, happy or sad or humorous. It was too bad that the cemetery wasn't close to his apartment, he would have visited everyday if it had been, just to find the peace of mind he found there.
It was time to go.
He turned, the umbrella giving an elegant twirl as he made his way down the row of graves. A splash of color to his right caught his attention, and a little curiously he lifted his eyes to see who it was who found solace among the graves as he did. Red-clad, black-haired, looking very much like -
- Kurei!
It seemed that Kurei noticed him the exact same moment that he had noticed him. For a moment they just stared warily at each other, half- crouched in position, both of them reading the other's body language: "This is my place, who dares disturb my peace?". The slowly, Kurei relaxed, until finally only his eyes were hostile, piercing in their intensity. Slowly Mikagami followed suit, until they were only the dullest remembrances of enemies, only a row of graves standing between them. It was ironic, Mikagami thought, that someone like Kurei could be an enemy and yet understand more completely than anyone else in the Hokage what it was to lose someone you loved. They had a lot in common, he realized. It really was a pity that Kurei was his enemy.
He wasn't sure what prompted him to move, but he did - over the single line of graves that separated them. A few moments later he was standing in front of the leader of the Jyusshinshu. This man had once beaten him in combat, and probably would do so again hands-down if they had chosen to fight. Mikagami chose to ignore his Ensui burning in his pocket. He valued his life more than a whim, and he didn't want to destroy the peace that he had found in the cemetery. Something about the place made him more sentimental than he usually was. If he fought and somehow survived, he was sure he wouldn't be able to look at the cemetery the same way ever again.
He glanced at the grave Kurei was standing protectively over. The name was unfamiliar, but he figured it must be Kurenai if Kurei came all the way to the cemetery across town to visit it. There wasn't really anyone else he could think of that Kurei could feel emotional about. He didn't really want to care, but he really did sympathize with Kurei's position. It was very justified, after all - and in plain black-and-white, it was all very logical how Kurei went with things. That was a large aspect of what Mikagami respected in him.
"Her body was absorbed in your flame, wasn't it?"
"Yes. But I felt it was appropriate to give her a grave anyway, even with no funeral."
"I would have thought you'd like to have her grave close to you."
"She would be lonely with no other spirits to talk to."
Kurei forcibly turned his body to face the tombstone. His eyes betrayed nothing, not even the slightest amount of sadness; instead, anger radiated coolly from the depths of his soul, daring Mikagami to say anything else. Mikagami didn't; he could read Kurei's actions well enough. After a moment, though, he stood close enough so that the black umbrella covered both of them. Not that it would have helped; Kurei was already soaked to the skin.
Kurei glared at him. Apparently he read the gesture as temporary fake sympathy. "I don't NEED your help."
Mikagami would have liked to retort dryly, but this was Kurei he was talking to. "Believe me, I don't need yours either. I'm not asking for any." After a minute of staring at each other, he added, "Don't say anything, if you don't want me to hear anything. I don't say anything to Mifuyu; it's all in my head. I believe she can hear it, wherever she is in Heaven. If you say it in your mind, I can't hear it, right?"
Kurei spun to face the grave again. Mikagami wondered if he was revealing too much of himself. He was just wondering if Kurei would just like to keep the umbrella when the older Hokage brother said, "But it sounds definite when you say it out loud."
"Nothing is definite", came Mikagami's cryptic reply. "Words are meaningless; the souls in Heaven will hear your emotions much louder." And after giving that advice, the Ensui master wondered if he was becoming philosophical in his young age.
Kurei seemed to reach a decision. He stooped, feeling the grain of cut stone brush against his black gloves. For a moment, he seemed lost in his memories - his eyes were seeing something other than the tombstone, some far-off memory when the world was perfectly harmonious. Mikagami knew that feeling, and regretted everyday he had spent with his sister that he didn't take advantage of. Finally Kurei straightened stiffly, but his feet seemed to be firmly rooted in front of the grave.
"You won't repeat anything I say here to anyone?", he said calmly, making it more threat than request.
"No", Mikagami answered, equally firm.
He bent low again, his glove tracing the stylized angel wings at the top of the tombstone. Then, so low and so soft that Mikagami almost didn't catch it, he whispered the words that Mikagami had always sought to say to his sister when he was standing in front of her grave:
"I love you."
His fingers lingered on the wet stone, then he stood quickly, almost embarrassed. Mikagami found himself looking anywhere by Kurei's face. He knew it had been one of those moments where a person bared their soul to the rest of the world.
In sync, they started walking out of the cemetery. At the gate, Mikagami pushed the umbrella into Kurei's hands clumsily. He was no good at giving gifts, not in the sun or the rain. As soon as he handed the umbrella away, the drizzle turned to a rising patter of water against the concrete and the lone car in the parking lot. Mikagami's coat soaked up the rain like a sponge, and within a minute, his shoulders were numb with the cold. Still Kurei continued to look at him. Then, the hand with the umbrella came to shoulder the umbrella over his head. Mikagami resisted the urge to squint; his bangs were plastered to his forehead.
With a parting look that told him everything he wanted to say, Kurei turned and walked out of the parking lot. Five steps onto the sidewalk, he melted into the freezing onslaught of rain that Mikagami remained under. The Ensui master wondered just what insane part of his brain had made him do that. Finally, realizing that he had been staring at the place where Kurei had disappeared for almost ten minutes and that he was almost completely soaked, he walked to his car. The water squished in his shoes, but he didn't care. He was still wondering what god it was that made him see kindred spirits in the strangest of places.
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
Author's note:
Well, that didn't take TOO long, now did it? Hope you all enjoyed it. It rather came to me as I was lying in bed during the weekend and saw that it was going to rain soon. I guess it's weird I'm writing something FoR now, especially when I haven't written anything since last summer. . .
Andrea Weiling