Hawkeye and BJ were walking towards him.
'Halt! What's the password, and all of that,' Klinger said, going up to greet them.
'Good job with Frank. You had him scared witless!' Hawkeye was laughing.
'What was the password again?' BJ joked. '"Mad", "Klinger", "Burns"?' Klinger started laughing too.
'Get lost you two, I have a job to do,' he said. Hawkeye and BJ slapped him on the back before leaving. Klinger grinned. He liked seeing Frank squirm, and he'd never actually seen him squirm that much. Resting his gun on his shoulder, Klinger began his patrol again. The mess tent door opened a few hours later, and he could see a short figure wheeling out the projector. Klinger smiled. Radar O'Rielly. Shortest man in camp. He was the company clerk, could read people's minds and was fantastic at getting gear into camp. If it weren't for him, Klinger wouldn't have half of his dresses.
'Need help?' he asked, pushing the film projector beside Radar.
'Klinger! Yeah, this needs to be taken back to the supply room, ' Radar said, stopping his pushing for a few seconds. The two got it to the supply room and put it into it's place.
'Uh, I should really ask for the password, or something,' Klinger said. 'Regulations.'
'Oh, uh, it was "breadbox",' Radar said.
'Close enough,' Klinger sighed, realizing there was no point to having a password in camp if only three people other than himself could remember it.
'What is it, if it isn't "breadbox"?' Radar asked confusedly.
'"Pumpernickel",' Klinger told him.
'I knew it had something to do with bread!' Radar exclaimed before heading towards his tent. Klinger shook his head. Radar was a good kid. Hawkeye always had him doing something when the Colonel wasn't busy ordering him about. Klinger glanced at his watch, wondering when he'd be relieved. Eight hours down, four to go. Klinger sighed. He had forgotten how lonely it was to be out on guard duty. Skulking around, Klinger turned his head at the mess tent door opening. Father Mulchay again. Klinger went up to him.
'Hey, didn't I already stop you after leaving the mess tent before?' he asked.
'Klinger! I was just looking for you. I thought you might want a coffee or something, because it was so cold out,' Father Mulchay said. What a thoughtful man.
'Thanks, father,' Klinger said, thankfully taking the mug from him. He escorted him back to his tent before taking a sip from the mug. Stone cold. And too much sugar. Klinger tipped it out onto the grass behind the showers. He never could stand too sweet coffee, but unfortunately for him, it was the only way to drink the coffee around here, otherwise you had to ask Hawkeye to pump your stomach. Klinger began thinking about the mess tent. A few crazy parties had been held there over the war, but heaven help you if you ate the food. Radar seemed to stomach it alright, but it was murder on everyone else. And they continued to serve the same thing over and over. Klinger grinned at the memory of when Hawkeye had gone into the mess tent, in the nude, to settle a bet with Trapper, that no-one in camp paid attention to anything anymore. Then, another time, Hawkeye had started a food fight after he was served fish and or liver for the eight days in a row. Someone had flung gravy at Klinger, and had to send his fur stole away to be dry cleaned. He had stormed into the Swamp to demand Hawkeye pay for the cleaning bill, but Hawkeye was too busy thinking about ribs. Klinger cringed. He'd really been unfair to Hawkeye that day. After offering help to get him those delicious ribs, Klinger had changed his mind when he couldn't get the section eight papers in return. Hawkeye was right. He and Trapper were only two doctors and he needed three to be discharged. Extremely unfair to Hawkeye to storm out and refuse to help. Plus, he'd been given a smaller share of those ribs than anyone else afterwards, and Hawkeye was right, they were the best tasting ribs ever. Glancing at his watch again, Klinger groaned. It had only been half an hour since he checked it last.
'This is stupid,' he told himself, moving around a tent to get out of the wind. 'It's not like anyone's going to attack.' Another door banged shut in the wind. Looking around the tent he was huddled behind, Klinger saw someone getting into a jeep outside Pre-op and starting it up. Breaking out into a run, Klinger hollered 'HALT!'
'Don't shoot! Don't shoot!' the person yelled. They jumped out of the jeep and lay on the cold, muddy ground, hands on their head. Hawkeye and BJ came running.
'What's happening?' Hawkeye asked breathlessly.
'Escaping patient,' Klinger replied, pointing towards the bandaged clad man on the ground, trembling. BJ and Hawkeye helped them up.
'I won't try and leave, if you just keep that maniac away from me!' the guy said, eyes wide and pointing towards Klinger. Hawkeye and BJ glanced at each other before laughing.
'He's no maniac,' BJ said.
'Hey, take that back!' Klinger yelled.
'He's wearing high heels!' the patient whispered to Hawkeye.
'We know,' Hawkeye said soothingly.
'I'm also wearing a skirt,' Klinger added, enjoying the affect he was having on the patient.
'He's crazy! And you trust him to do guard duty?' the patient was asking Hawkeye and BJ.
'He's the only one crazy enough to do it,' BJ told the man as he and Hawkeye led him into the pre-op tent. Klinger sighed.
'Busy night,' he said to himself. It was good to know he still had the touch to make most people think he was nuts. One didn't fully realise he was a male, and asked Hawkeye why his 'nurse needs a shave?'. The poor guy was under anesthetics, but it still annoyed Klinger slightly to be confused with a woman. The only thing he wanted to be confused with, was a crazy person, and to be sent home. Klinger looked around. Hawkeye and BJ were making their way back to the Swamp, and Klinger didn't feel like bothering them again. He wandered around the compound, when he noticed it getting lighter. He turned and saw the sun, just rising above the hills. Looking at his watch, Klinger realised that he'd been on guard duty for about an hour more than he had to do.
'I'll kill whoever was suppose to relieve me,' he said, going into the mess tent where Igor was just bringing out breakfast.
'Anything interesting happen tonight?' Igor asked as Klinger grabbed a coffee cup. Klinger thought for a minute. Nearly everyone he met that night didn't know the password, he'd almost killed Frank, and stopped a patient from escaping in a jeep.
'No, not a lot,' Klinger said before taking a swig from his coffee.
'Halt! What's the password, and all of that,' Klinger said, going up to greet them.
'Good job with Frank. You had him scared witless!' Hawkeye was laughing.
'What was the password again?' BJ joked. '"Mad", "Klinger", "Burns"?' Klinger started laughing too.
'Get lost you two, I have a job to do,' he said. Hawkeye and BJ slapped him on the back before leaving. Klinger grinned. He liked seeing Frank squirm, and he'd never actually seen him squirm that much. Resting his gun on his shoulder, Klinger began his patrol again. The mess tent door opened a few hours later, and he could see a short figure wheeling out the projector. Klinger smiled. Radar O'Rielly. Shortest man in camp. He was the company clerk, could read people's minds and was fantastic at getting gear into camp. If it weren't for him, Klinger wouldn't have half of his dresses.
'Need help?' he asked, pushing the film projector beside Radar.
'Klinger! Yeah, this needs to be taken back to the supply room, ' Radar said, stopping his pushing for a few seconds. The two got it to the supply room and put it into it's place.
'Uh, I should really ask for the password, or something,' Klinger said. 'Regulations.'
'Oh, uh, it was "breadbox",' Radar said.
'Close enough,' Klinger sighed, realizing there was no point to having a password in camp if only three people other than himself could remember it.
'What is it, if it isn't "breadbox"?' Radar asked confusedly.
'"Pumpernickel",' Klinger told him.
'I knew it had something to do with bread!' Radar exclaimed before heading towards his tent. Klinger shook his head. Radar was a good kid. Hawkeye always had him doing something when the Colonel wasn't busy ordering him about. Klinger glanced at his watch, wondering when he'd be relieved. Eight hours down, four to go. Klinger sighed. He had forgotten how lonely it was to be out on guard duty. Skulking around, Klinger turned his head at the mess tent door opening. Father Mulchay again. Klinger went up to him.
'Hey, didn't I already stop you after leaving the mess tent before?' he asked.
'Klinger! I was just looking for you. I thought you might want a coffee or something, because it was so cold out,' Father Mulchay said. What a thoughtful man.
'Thanks, father,' Klinger said, thankfully taking the mug from him. He escorted him back to his tent before taking a sip from the mug. Stone cold. And too much sugar. Klinger tipped it out onto the grass behind the showers. He never could stand too sweet coffee, but unfortunately for him, it was the only way to drink the coffee around here, otherwise you had to ask Hawkeye to pump your stomach. Klinger began thinking about the mess tent. A few crazy parties had been held there over the war, but heaven help you if you ate the food. Radar seemed to stomach it alright, but it was murder on everyone else. And they continued to serve the same thing over and over. Klinger grinned at the memory of when Hawkeye had gone into the mess tent, in the nude, to settle a bet with Trapper, that no-one in camp paid attention to anything anymore. Then, another time, Hawkeye had started a food fight after he was served fish and or liver for the eight days in a row. Someone had flung gravy at Klinger, and had to send his fur stole away to be dry cleaned. He had stormed into the Swamp to demand Hawkeye pay for the cleaning bill, but Hawkeye was too busy thinking about ribs. Klinger cringed. He'd really been unfair to Hawkeye that day. After offering help to get him those delicious ribs, Klinger had changed his mind when he couldn't get the section eight papers in return. Hawkeye was right. He and Trapper were only two doctors and he needed three to be discharged. Extremely unfair to Hawkeye to storm out and refuse to help. Plus, he'd been given a smaller share of those ribs than anyone else afterwards, and Hawkeye was right, they were the best tasting ribs ever. Glancing at his watch again, Klinger groaned. It had only been half an hour since he checked it last.
'This is stupid,' he told himself, moving around a tent to get out of the wind. 'It's not like anyone's going to attack.' Another door banged shut in the wind. Looking around the tent he was huddled behind, Klinger saw someone getting into a jeep outside Pre-op and starting it up. Breaking out into a run, Klinger hollered 'HALT!'
'Don't shoot! Don't shoot!' the person yelled. They jumped out of the jeep and lay on the cold, muddy ground, hands on their head. Hawkeye and BJ came running.
'What's happening?' Hawkeye asked breathlessly.
'Escaping patient,' Klinger replied, pointing towards the bandaged clad man on the ground, trembling. BJ and Hawkeye helped them up.
'I won't try and leave, if you just keep that maniac away from me!' the guy said, eyes wide and pointing towards Klinger. Hawkeye and BJ glanced at each other before laughing.
'He's no maniac,' BJ said.
'Hey, take that back!' Klinger yelled.
'He's wearing high heels!' the patient whispered to Hawkeye.
'We know,' Hawkeye said soothingly.
'I'm also wearing a skirt,' Klinger added, enjoying the affect he was having on the patient.
'He's crazy! And you trust him to do guard duty?' the patient was asking Hawkeye and BJ.
'He's the only one crazy enough to do it,' BJ told the man as he and Hawkeye led him into the pre-op tent. Klinger sighed.
'Busy night,' he said to himself. It was good to know he still had the touch to make most people think he was nuts. One didn't fully realise he was a male, and asked Hawkeye why his 'nurse needs a shave?'. The poor guy was under anesthetics, but it still annoyed Klinger slightly to be confused with a woman. The only thing he wanted to be confused with, was a crazy person, and to be sent home. Klinger looked around. Hawkeye and BJ were making their way back to the Swamp, and Klinger didn't feel like bothering them again. He wandered around the compound, when he noticed it getting lighter. He turned and saw the sun, just rising above the hills. Looking at his watch, Klinger realised that he'd been on guard duty for about an hour more than he had to do.
'I'll kill whoever was suppose to relieve me,' he said, going into the mess tent where Igor was just bringing out breakfast.
'Anything interesting happen tonight?' Igor asked as Klinger grabbed a coffee cup. Klinger thought for a minute. Nearly everyone he met that night didn't know the password, he'd almost killed Frank, and stopped a patient from escaping in a jeep.
'No, not a lot,' Klinger said before taking a swig from his coffee.