Just want to give a quick thank you to everyone who has reviewed this fic
so far. I really appreciate it!
*
// Don't know why I came here tonight/ Got a feeling that something ain't right/ I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair/ And I'm wonderin' how I'll get down the stairs/ Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right/ Here I am/ Stuck in the middle with you \\
"Stuck in the Middle with You" by Bob Dylan
*
So, I let Jackie take me out to dinner tonight. It wasn't a date man. But she was feeling pretty low after everything she's going through with Kelso and Foreman's slut of a sister. So I let her take me to Sizzler.
She bought me some boots too. I like those boots. It felt wrong to let her buy them and I told her so. But she's rich, she can afford them.
But she tried to kiss me. I put a stop to that real fast. I mean, she's Jackie. Loud, annoying, cheerleading Jackie. And she was Kelso's girlfriend. Even if the ass cheated on her with something as disgusting as Laurie, he is my friend. I think. Do I really want to be friends with someone who slept with Laurie?
Why is Jackie latching onto me? I mean, I have no heart, no feelings. I give the worst advice because I like to laugh at people. But I have a feeling Jackie is relying on me more than anyone else, even Donna. No good can come of this.
Oh yeah, she kissed me. Or she tried to kiss me. I know I already wrote that. But it's trippy that she decided to try and kiss me. She actually did kind of half kiss me in front of Kelso and Fez. That was funny. Kelso had tried to win her back by singing to her and she kissed me and left. Maybe I should let her kiss me sometimes. It would make Kelso shut up.
*
My cheeks burned red as I remembered pushing myself onto Steven. I was so confused and sure that no one else would ever like me.
I know I was being stupid. I'm popular and I work pretty hard to be beautiful. But when you're in an emotional crisis it's hard to think rationally. And maybe I was the one being rational at the time. I mean, look at where Steven and I are now. Or where we were three days ago.
I couldn't explain why it was Steven I turned to. Maybe it was because no one could get to him. No one made him completely lose it. Even when his dad left again, I mean it sucked, but he didn't fall apart.
Steven doesn't realize he's different when people really need his help. He actually says things worth listening to when he's protecting you. And I loved when he would protect me. I loved when he would do anything to cushion the blow for me.
Still, Steven and I hated each other. Well, I pretended to hate him. But I could never go to prom with anyone I truly hated. I would be afraid they would do something to embarrass me the whole time. He didn't scare me like that. He might have hated me, but I don't think he did. I don't think he would take food from someone he hated.
He's got a moral code. It may be a messed up code, but it's there. And I have to believe part of that entails taking care of people weaker than you. And I was weaker than him at that point.
Did anything good come of that night? That started my first fascination with Steven. I guess it ended rather quickly, but that was the start. Has it been good? Well, parts have been fun, but I have yet to judge if any good has come from Steven and I being friends, being more than friends. I guess part of me is scared that the answer is no.
*
// Don't know why I came here tonight/ Got a feeling that something ain't right/ I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair/ And I'm wonderin' how I'll get down the stairs/ Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right/ Here I am/ Stuck in the middle with you \\
"Stuck in the Middle with You" by Bob Dylan
*
So, I let Jackie take me out to dinner tonight. It wasn't a date man. But she was feeling pretty low after everything she's going through with Kelso and Foreman's slut of a sister. So I let her take me to Sizzler.
She bought me some boots too. I like those boots. It felt wrong to let her buy them and I told her so. But she's rich, she can afford them.
But she tried to kiss me. I put a stop to that real fast. I mean, she's Jackie. Loud, annoying, cheerleading Jackie. And she was Kelso's girlfriend. Even if the ass cheated on her with something as disgusting as Laurie, he is my friend. I think. Do I really want to be friends with someone who slept with Laurie?
Why is Jackie latching onto me? I mean, I have no heart, no feelings. I give the worst advice because I like to laugh at people. But I have a feeling Jackie is relying on me more than anyone else, even Donna. No good can come of this.
Oh yeah, she kissed me. Or she tried to kiss me. I know I already wrote that. But it's trippy that she decided to try and kiss me. She actually did kind of half kiss me in front of Kelso and Fez. That was funny. Kelso had tried to win her back by singing to her and she kissed me and left. Maybe I should let her kiss me sometimes. It would make Kelso shut up.
*
My cheeks burned red as I remembered pushing myself onto Steven. I was so confused and sure that no one else would ever like me.
I know I was being stupid. I'm popular and I work pretty hard to be beautiful. But when you're in an emotional crisis it's hard to think rationally. And maybe I was the one being rational at the time. I mean, look at where Steven and I are now. Or where we were three days ago.
I couldn't explain why it was Steven I turned to. Maybe it was because no one could get to him. No one made him completely lose it. Even when his dad left again, I mean it sucked, but he didn't fall apart.
Steven doesn't realize he's different when people really need his help. He actually says things worth listening to when he's protecting you. And I loved when he would protect me. I loved when he would do anything to cushion the blow for me.
Still, Steven and I hated each other. Well, I pretended to hate him. But I could never go to prom with anyone I truly hated. I would be afraid they would do something to embarrass me the whole time. He didn't scare me like that. He might have hated me, but I don't think he did. I don't think he would take food from someone he hated.
He's got a moral code. It may be a messed up code, but it's there. And I have to believe part of that entails taking care of people weaker than you. And I was weaker than him at that point.
Did anything good come of that night? That started my first fascination with Steven. I guess it ended rather quickly, but that was the start. Has it been good? Well, parts have been fun, but I have yet to judge if any good has come from Steven and I being friends, being more than friends. I guess part of me is scared that the answer is no.