VIII

Josh's light was still on, but CJ guessed that tonight was not a good night to disturb him. Instead, she wandered on to the communications department, and lingered in Toby's open doorway. It took him several moments to look up from his typing to acknowledge her.

"Something's in the air," she noted.

He gave a minimalist shrug, but held her gaze, eyes dark in the half-light.

"What's got Josh and Leo worried?"

He shrugged again. "Nothing they're talking about." She nodded grimly.

"Business as usual, I guess." These days, it seemed like you couldn't go a matter of weeks before something else nasty cropped up to monopolise worried attentions. She sighed, and changed the subject.

"How's Andy?"

"She turned down my proposal," Toby told her matter-of-factly. She blinked, startled, and restrained the automatic giggle because it didn't seem quite right to let it loose.

"Toby, you proposed?"

"I've been doing some thinking."

He didn't volunteer more than that, but then he didn't need to. She understood all too well. Their time in government was passing, and too many crises in too short a time left you thinking troubling thoughts about exactly what you'd have left if it all went to hell.

What would she have left? A few lines on a résumé, and a goldfish that was surely well advanced in fishy years. For a moment she thought wistfully of Danny, but she consigned that thought to the same drawer she'd been so practised at shoving it into years before. Maybe there was something there... but it was nothing that could be thought about until their years in office were done and dusted.

Toby flicked his gaze up to meet hers. "Am I unduly depressing?" he asked; with Toby, such a thing was a genuine request for an opinion, not an empty seeking of reassurance. She smiled.

"Well, yes you are, there, Toby, but it's all part of your charm." CJ tilted her head to the side, regarding him. "That's why Andy doesn't want to get remarried?"

"She does," he corrected. "She only thinks she doesn't."

She gave a soft, supportive smile, and wondered if that was the famous Ziegler insight, or the infamous Ziegler stubbornness talking. She wondered if Toby himself knew the difference.

"You're going to convince her otherwise?"

"I'm going to make my case," he stated simply.

Perhaps he was only fooling himself... but who was she to advise against it? She straightened up. "Well, the best of luck with that, Tobe," she said quietly, without sarcasm.

Leo sighed, breaking the atmosphere of confrontation. He rubbed his face tiredly, and looked up. "Does Suzanne know?"

Hoynes smiled sadly. "She knows," he said quietly. "Not about Selena, but... she knows."

Despite himself, and his compassion for a woman he knew as little more than a hanger-on to her husband's elbow at the kind of party where it was necessary to have one's wife at one's elbow, he couldn't help but feel a small flame of sympathy for Hoynes as well. Nobody won, in a marriage where the only things holding it together were politics and force of habit.

And who was he to judge? He might not have left Jenny for other women's arms, but for drink and later his love for the man who'd saved him from it... but really, could he call that any better? He'd let her down. They'd been in love, once, and he'd let her down.

It was disappointment in himself as much as in Hoynes that fuelled his anger; he recognised as much, but that didn't blunt it. "What were you thinking, John?" he demanded again. "Did you really think you wouldn't get caught?"

Hoynes grimaced in frustration. "I wasn't- I don't know what I was thinking."

"Neither do I, but I know what you were thinking with!" he retorted.

The Vice President rounded on him as if he was about to lash out, but then the expression melted away, and he just looked anguished. "It's... Jesus, Leo, I don't know." He wandered away, pushing his hands back through his hair. "This has been hard time for me, Leo. This past few years have been hard for me."

"Well, boo hoo for you. The President of the United States just went through hell in front of the nation's media, his son-in-law nearly got murdered for being the wrong colour, and Josh Lyman got his guts ripped out on national TV by our nation's political leaders for the audacity of actually still feeling the aftereffects of being shot in the chest, so why don't you tell me what a tough few years you've been having?"

Hoynes just looked weary. "Politics is my life, Leo. I've worked for this all my life. And to see it all fading away..."

Leo could have mustered some sympathy for his position - John Hoynes had worked patiently all his life towards building his presidency, then seen it snatched away not once but twice by Jed Bartlet just as it came within his grasp - but the force of his anger was hotter. "So screwing around on your wife made it all better? Good for you."

"It wasn't about that, Leo," he snapped, a flare of anger returning.

"Then what was it about?"

"I just wanted- I don't know what I wanted. I wanted out, Leo. I wanted to..." He shook his head slowly.

"You were trying to get caught out?" Leo wondered incredulously.

"I just didn't care, Leo!" he shouted. His shoulders slumped, and he continued more quietly. "I didn't care. I didn't think it mattered what I did. I didn't think any of it really mattered."

Leo remained coolly collected, lips pressed together in an emotionless line. " And then what? You just suddenly changed your mind?"

"Things changed," Hoynes said quietly. "The president, you... everything that's happened. I started realising that... I'm needed here. There's such a weight that's on his shoulders, if anything should happen-"

Leo grimaced unhappily. "You picked a fine time to have an epiphany." Salvaging the Vice Presidency from the revelation of an extra-marital affair would be an uphill struggle enough, but if news of blackmail surrounding it ever emerged...

"I know, Leo, I-" He wasn't stupid enough to try and say he was sorry. "I screwed up."

"This is a mess, John," he said bluntly. "A real mess."

Hoynes shook his head slowly, but not in denial. "I wasn't thinking clearly," was all he offered by way of mitigation.

"Yeah," Leo said quietly. He knew what that was like.

Of all people, he should know what that was like.

He looked up, and met the taller man's eyes. "We'll fix this, John," he said softly, done with accusations for the night. "Don't worry about it."

Hoynes snorted, and gave a bitter, disbelieving smile. "You can't fix this, Leo. I screwed up, and when it's time to take the fall, I'll pay the price."

"Nobody's taking a fall, John," he refuted. "We caught this, we'll fix it. This is not gonna take you down."

"And if it turns out not to be so easy to fix?" he challenged.

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Leo said simply.

Hoynes shook his head. "I won't take anybody down with me. This was my mistake, and whatever happens, happens to me alone."

He didn't bother to argue further. "We'll talk again tomorrow. Goodnight, John."

He left the Vice President sitting alone with his thoughts.

"Hey, Zoey, are you all right?" Her husband's worried voice rung out at almost the exact same instant she heard the key in the lock. Zoey would have rolled her eyes, except that the feeling of pressure inside her head warned that this might be painful.

"I'm fine," she called, exasperated, albeit muffled. Charlie hurried into the bedroom, and made a dismayed face as he saw the state of her. He sat down on the corner of the bed, and leaned over to feel her forehead worriedly.

"Do you feel feverish?"

"What are you, my doctor? No, I just feel... bunged up and... horrible," she grumbled.

Charlie straightened up, shrugging off his jacket. "You want me to get you some juice? Some water or something? I could make soup-"

"I ate already. I did!" she protested when he looked sceptical. Well, staggering out of bed for a slice and a half of toast counted, right? She wouldn't have bothered to force herself to eat that if it hadn't been for the baby. It had been a lot like chewing cardboard, only considerably more difficult to swallow.

"Okay." He looked down at her in concern. "Do you want me to get another blanket? Or I could move the heater in here, if you-"

"Charlie!" She rolled away from him in disgust. "Could you just quit fussing for a couple of minutes-?"

He immediately looked guilty. "I just-"

"Look, I just- I don't want any of that stuff," she sighed. She'd spent the day in bed, and Charlie was still rushing about, trying to do things for her, even though he was plainly exhausted. "I just want to cuddle and go to sleep."

"Okay." He pulled off his shoes and flopped down on the bed beside her. "I'll get changed in just a minute," he told her, but he yawned as he said it.

In a matter of seconds, he was asleep in his clothes.