Time Goes By
A/N: I didn't know who I wanted to write about, I had my brother pick a card from a deck, and I ended up with Setsuna. So this is a short vignette on how Setsuna feels about each of the Senshi, and how she feels about her destiny.
Time goes by, but I never change. I'm always here, as I always will be. I will never die – at least, not until the world itself has ended.
There are times when I resent the fact that I am to guard the Gates of Times for all eternity. I will never be able to lead a normal life. I will never be able to call in sick. I have to watch war, murder, birth and death. I can't turn away.
It would be unbearable if not for the time I get to spend with my friends. The Sailor Senshi. They are my only family. We are a family in every way but biological. They are like my sisters, my children, my heart and soul. Not a day goes by that I don't think of each one of them.
There are times when I wish I could escape this life of solitude. I have prayed for death on more occasions than I care to admit. I have wished for a new evil, an immortal enemy to destroy me. Or, perhaps, one that would succumb only to Saturn's "Death Reborn Revolution".
I am almost ashamed to admit that I was happy during the battle with Mistress9. It seemed that the world would end soon, and I would be free of my post at the Time Gates. When Saturn entered the crater to destroy Pharoah90 …. For a moment I was content.
And when Saturn and I were destroyed at the hands of Uranus Neptune ….. Bliss.
Of course, I would never admit this to the rest of the Senshi. It is my duty to protect Time, and aid them in protecting the Princess and the future. After all, who would take over if I was gone.
How could I ever hurt them like that? How could I ever leave behind the only family I can remember? Hotaru and Small Lady. Rei and Usagi. Haruka and Michiru. Ami, Makoto and Minako. I made a promise to Queen Serenity that I would take care of them. I don't want to disappoint her.
*"Promise me, Setsuna. Promise me that, no matter the outcome of the war, you will take care of my daughter and my Senshi."
"I promise, my Queen. They will be safe."*
And yet, it would be so easy to erase myself from this existence. I could go back in time. Prevent myself from ever being born. Change the outcome of the world as we know it …..
*"Please, Small Lady, don't go after her. Hotaru will be fine until we can figure out how to destroy Kaolinite and Professor Tomoe."
"I have to go, Pluto. She's my best friend! I can't let her get hurt!"*
I've spent years and years watching over the rest of the Senshi, and yet, sometimes, it seems like I play a miniscule part in their lives ….
*"Sailor Moon! Watch out!"
"Wha-Aaaahh!!"
"Sailor Moon!"
"Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!"
"Mars Flame Sniper!"
"Jupiter Oak Evolution!"
"Venus Love-Me Chain!"
"Be careful, Sailor Senshi!"*
Most of me knows that's not true, that I'm important to them. Most of me.
But part of me, deep inside, believes that they would be okay without me. I wonder what would happen if I remained at the Gates all the time …..
*"Be careful, Haruka."
"I will."
"I'll be here when you win."
"I know. Setsuna, you'll be here, too?"
"I wouldn't miss it. Good luck."*
Would they need me? Would they miss me? Would they even notice?
Or am I just the voice of reason in battle? The one who is there only to stop them from jumping in too fast? What else do I bring to the team?
*"Saturn! You don't have to do this! Please stop! Let figure something else out!"
"Sailor Moon. There is no other way. Pharoah90 must be destroyed before he is allowed to enter this dimension."
"Let ME go, then. I'm Sailor Moon! I've destroyed bigger creeps then this!"
"You don't know what you're dealing with. Pharoah90 is the more powerful then anyone you have ever faced. I'm the only one who can destroy him. Please don't try and stop me!"
"SATURN!!!!"
"Death Reborn REVOLUTION!!*
I've protected Small Lady for so long. I've watched over her like a gaurdian angel for her entire life. In the future, and here, in the present day. Yet she doesn't really need me anymore. She is growing up. She has her mother, her father and her friends. She is taken care of.
So what purpose does my life serve?
What can I do that no one else can?
How important am I? Sure, I'm the Gaurdian of Time. But what else can I do? What makes me so special?
I can't keep thinking like this. Everytime I go down this road, I only succeed in depressing myself.
I'm the Gaurdian of the Time Gates. Queen Serenity trusted me with that position She believed in me.
So why can't I believe in myself?