Disclaimer: That '70s Show copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC.
Author's Note: This story was written for the 2022 Zenmasters Anthology on tumblr.
CHAPTER SIX
TWO-WAY TRAFFIC
Hyde was studying on the old armchair stored in his room. Last November, Red helped him replace the cushion springs as a birthday present. More importantly, he validated Hyde was part of the family, had told him to consider the Formans' house his home indefinitely. No better present he could've gotten.
The school year ended next week, and he couldn't let the Formans down. Even though Geometry was tedious, earning bad grades would be a screw-you to their generosity. They'd sacrificed a lot to give him a chance at a good life.
He flipped to the chapter on the Pythagorean theorem, and his door swung open. Kelso entered, red-faced. The bare bulb dangling from the ceiling revealed wet eyes, and his hair stuck out at odd angles. Either he'd lost a fight with Donna's cat, or he'd been pulling at his scalp.
"It's over, Hyde." He dropped beside Hyde's socked feet on the old ottoman. "We're through."
Hyde blew out a breath. He should lock his door as a rule.
"I told Jackie my plan at the mall, and it bombed. She thinks I'll cheat on her the rest of our lives, divorced and remarried, divorced and remarried so I can sleep with other women whenever I have a big modeling gig."
Hyde burst into laughter. His geometry textbook bounced on his lap. His pencil fell to the floor, but he left it there. This was the most hilarious piece of news he'd heard in a long time.
"It's not funny!" Kelso said and shoved Hyde's feet off the ottoman.
"It kind of is." Hyde was still laughing. "You and Jackie divorcing and remarrying repeatedly ... just so you can nail whoever and she won't lose you … man, I could see you guys doin' that."
"She was upset. Like, really, really upset. So I told her I wouldn't sleep with anyone else ever, and she didn't believe me."
Hyde's laughter faded. "I don't believe you."
"But that conversation opened my eyes!" Kelso tugged on his mad-scientist hair. "I love her more than sex. I'll just masturbate a lot, like Fez does 'cause Rhonda won't put out yet." He jabbed his thumb at the ceiling. "That's what Eric's probably doing upstairs since Donna's with Casey. And you never have a girlfriend, so you—"
Hyde slammed his textbook closed. "Okay, first, I get plenty of action. Second, yeah, I jerk off like anyone else when my action's low. But once you lost your virginity, man, that was it. You refuse to self-service, so you always 'need' a chick. And I hate that I know this crap about you."
"That's true, but starting a modeling career changed my life." Kelso tapped his temple. "I'm not smart enough to go to college, but I can do this. I also love Jackie enough to self-service when I'm away, but she won't talk to me anymore. You've gotta help me."
"I don't have to do shit."
Kelso leaned toward Hyde on the edge of ottoman. "Be her friend when I'm gone. Her best friend," he said quietly. "She trusts you. That used to piss me off, but it'll totally work for me now." His eyes widened. "Dude—" he patted Hyde's knee frantically—"date her! Become her boyfriend, but don't go past first base. Listerine'll fry the Hyde-germs in her mouth. That stuff burns."
Hyde stared at him, unable to speak.
Kelso settled farther back on the ottoman. "No, it'll be okay 'cause you'll hate kissing her, and she'll only be kissing you 'cause she misses me." He clenched his fist in the air. "But try to sell it. Make her feel good so she's happy while I'm not here. She'll be all, 'Oh, Michael!' since she's thinking of me, but don't call her on it. She can't think too much about what she's doing."
He pressed his palm to his chest. "And whenever you can, talk me up. Tell her how heartbroken I am, that I miss her too much to have sex. Then a few days before I get home—" his gaze grew in intensity, and he smiled strangely—"dump her. Say you can tell she's still in love with me and want to give her and me another chance."
Hyde continued to stare at him, dumbfounded into silence.
"Well?" Kelso said.
"Get out of my room."
"But—"
"Get the hell out of my room."
"Hyde, you're like my brother—better than any of my brothers! If Jackie's safe with somebody besides me, it's you."
Hyde's geometry notebook was balanced on the armrest of his chair. He put it on top of his textbook, and his fingers wrapped around both. The totality of his feelings for Jackie had surfaced in his muscles, but he put that energy into his grip on his books.
"You're a complete headcase," he said and grabbed his pencil from the floor. "What you're askin' for ain't sane."
He opened his textbook, wrote a practice geometry problem in his notebook, but his handwriting was shaky.
Kelso went to Hyde's door. "Fine, study. Just remember this: the Formans took you in when they barely had cash to feed their own kids. That was crazy, but they did it anyway. Sane things can come out of insanity ... and me and Jackie won't have a future without your help."
Hyde waved a dismissive goodbye. Kelso grasped the doorknob but didn't turn it. "Do you care about either of us?"
The pain in his voice hit hard, and Hyde scrubbed his hand over his face. "Yeah."
"Then you'll be insane this summer."
Kelso left the room. Hyde tried to concentrate on the converse of the Pythagorean theorem, but the Kelso theorem disrupted his thoughts.
"Come on, man," he whispered. Geometry was a right now problem, with the final being tomorrow. Kelso and Jackie were a slightly later problem. With that perspective firmly established, he managed to focus on triangles, their different angles, and their formulas until he memorized them.
Hyde entered The Hub by himself. The first Monday of summer break, and he had no one to hang out with. Forman was busy building Star Wars models in the basement because Donna had a date with Casey. Fez had driven to the lake with Rhonda, and Kelso was at his modeling agency, prepping for his gig in Europe. In three days, he'd be walking runways four-thousand miles away.
At least Hyde carried congratulatory hugs from Red and Mrs. Forman. Their warmth stayed with him. He'd averaged a B-plus in school this year. Unbelievable, but he'd been motivated.
He went to the end of The Hub's food line. Kids from different schools, including his, stood in front of him. They took up half the tables, too. Everyone had someone to eat with—except Jackie. Hell. He hadn't seen her since before she dumped Kelso. She'd been hanging out at Donna's place instead of the Formans'.
Behind his shades, he flicked his eyes toward her as he moved up the food line. She had a tray loaded with two hot dogs, a half-dozen chicken tenders, and a basket of French fries. A lot more grub than one person generally ate for lunch.
His order was tiny in comparison: a hot dog, fries, and a pop, and he brought his tray to her table. "Cool if I sit here?"
She glanced at him. "Do what you want."
He put his tray down and sat. She picked at her fries. He chewed big bites of his hot dog, and no conversation sparked between them. In the past, this would've been a perfect meal with her, but she was clearly miserable.
Which meant he should've gone to a different table, but he couldn't help his damn self.
"What's up? Usually, you'd yammer on about your clothes or Donny Osmond. I'd pretend not to listen so you'd quit talking, but it never worked." He grinned teasingly, but she hadn't noticed. Her gaze was fixed to her tray.
"I think I made a huge mistake."
"You try a shampoo meant for horses?"
Her head remained bowed. "Did you hear about the 'deal' Michael tried to broker with me for the summer?"
"Yup."
"So did my parents." She snatched a chicken tender. Instead of eating it, she tore it apart with her fingers. "I confessed everything, and they were thrilled I dumped him … but Michael seemed to understand why his idea upset me, and—" her eyes met Hyde's for a breath—"do you think he won't cheat?"
Hyde stuffed his mouth full of French fries. He chewed them slowly, drank some pop to help him swallow.
"Steven, you were honest after I'd dumped him the first—the third time? Whatever. Anyways, do you think he's capable of really changing? And don't lie to protect me because it won't."
"Ain't gonna lie." Kelso had changed when he and Jackie reconciled. Was less selfish and newly considerate of her feelings. His plan for the summer, despite its lunacy, came from an honorable place. "Yeah, he can."
Jackie tossed her shredded chicken tender onto her tray. "Well, this sucks!"
"Just un-dump him, man. He can't shut up about you, about how he ..." Hyde scratched the nape of his neck. She'd said not to lie to her, but the truth would be easier to accept if he expanded on Kelso's thoughts. "He wishes he'd realized his deal was ridiculous without you pointing it out."
She finally looked at Hyde with a sustained gaze, but her cheeks were flushing. "Un-dump him?" She squeezed one of her uneaten hot dogs in her fist. "When I said I confessed everything to my parents, I meant everything—including my doubts about our breakup. They threatened to send me to boarding school to keep me from him!"
Bits of bun and sausage oozed between her fingers. Hyde's stomach shrank at the site, and he dropped the last bite of his own hot dog.
"Getting a job was one thing," she said, "but starting a whole new life in a different town? Leaving my friends? I can't do it. Not even for Michael."
"Hey, you'll be eighteen in less than two years. Then you can date him without your folks threatening you."
"Michael won't wait that long, and my parents can control me until then. Or decide they won't pay for college unless he's out of my life."
She drank her pop and ate three of Hyde's fries. Hers had to be cold, and he was fine with her swiping his. For as much food as she'd piled on her tray, she hadn't touched any except to destroy it.
"I doubt I'll win a full-ride scholarship anywhere," she continued. "I mean, my GPA is between an A and A-minus. I was invited back to honors classes for next year. I'm on the cheer squad and do other extracurricular activities. My transcript is almost immaculate, but I'm not full-ride material. Not for what I actually want to do."
He quirked up an eyebrow. "And what's that?"
"Act. I should've enrolled in acting classes years ago, but I was too busy with ballet and horse-back riding lessons. Gymnastics to prepare for cheerleading. … Do you mind?"
She indicated his basket of French fries, and he exchanged his basket for hers. "When Michael auditioned for the PriceMart industrial film," she said, "that's when it hit me: acting is my passion. Even though I truly hoped he succeeded, I was also living vicariously through him."
She chased a few fries with pop and laughed. The sound wasn't bitter but joyful, and a smile twitched at the corner of Hyde lips.
"As a little girl, I'd put on one-act plays for my parents." She used a French fry to represent herself and his tray as a stage. "I wrote them. I played princesses, evil queens, dragons, and even peasants."
His hesitant smile broke free. He felt it in his eyes, too, but trusted his shades to conceal how her happiness affected him. "'Even peasants,' huh?"
"I have range! I'm gonna take drama as my arts elective next year, and my dad's pulling strings so I can go to an acting camp this summer. Enrollment closed months ago." She ripped a French fry in half and ate it. "But that goes poof! if I un-dump Michael."
More laughter followed, but it was caustic. "You know, Michael is against me working. He's determined to take care of me, believes deep down I don't want a career, but he's wrong." She turned her palms so they faced the ceiling, a sign of defeat. "I guess that's my fault. I told him and told him and told him he needed to become rich to be a proper husband." She smacked her forehead. "I'm such an idiot!"
Hyde grasped her wrist before she could hit herself again. "Hey, you're not. You've matured. That's all."
"You think so?"
"I've seen it."
His grip on her was loose. His fingertips slid off her wrist, and their brief physical contact buzzed in his skin. Definitely a one-way sensation, but he'd accepted her skin would never buzz at his touch.
The Hub was growing crowded. Frank, the cashier, would kick him and Jackie out unless they spent extra dough. "Hold on a minute," he said and emptied their trays in the garbage can. He lined up at the food counter. Only two people were ahead of him, and he ordered a banana split when he reached Frank.
Jackie licked her lips at Hyde's return. She was hungry, all right, but not for him.
"Ain't exactly gourmet, but it's decent." He passed Jackie a plastic fork.
"Thanks."
They attacked the dessert from opposite ends. Hyde was careful not to drop his forkful of banana. He stuffed it into his mouth, and Melissa's etiquette lessons played through his skull. He wiped his lips and chin with a napkin, removing remnants of chocolate syrup.
"Sorry for eating like a pig," he said.
"Who cares? So am I."
He exhaled in relief and sat straighter. His posture had been bent for months, from lugging the boulders Melissa crammed into his mental backpack. Two short sentences from Jackie had destroyed them.
"Say, you could tell your folks that you were this close to dating me." He gestured at himself with his fork. "My rep in this town is dirt. The 'sins of the pa and ma' crap."
"Oh, my parents adore you."
He choked on a forkful of ice cream, banged his fist into his chest until he he quit coughing. "What the fuck does that mean?"
"It means—" Jackie sliced a piece of banana with her fork—"they know you went to jail for me, but don't worry. I came up with a good story for why. Nothing involving pot." With the assistance of her fingers, she scooped an equal portion of ice cream over the banana. "They know you punched that loser Chip out cold for calling me a bitch …"
Her perfect forkful of banana split moved near her mouth but bumped into her bottom lip. Ice cream and banana plopped onto the table. "Ta-da!" she said without any evident embarrassment. Then she stabbed her fork back into the dessert.
"You took me to your junior prom," she said, cleaning off her messy fingers with a napkin. "Spent what little money you had to rent a tux and buy a corsage. Money you could've saved for emergencies, and my parents respect you so, so much for what you've done for me."
Hyde turned his face from her and rubbed his cheek. "Why'd you tell 'em that stuff?"
"I couldn't help myself. Plus, they ask a lot of questions, and it was easier not to lie to them… mostly. Until I dated Michael again."
She slapped the table. "Oh, my God—you should come to dinner at my house tonight. Both my parents are in town, and they've been asking me to invite you forever. This'll be perfect!"
Hyde squinted at her and shook his head. "Why?
"Because you can tell them Michael's a changed man. They might believe you." She grasped his wrist, harder than he had hers earlier. "You could save my future!"
"No way."
"Please, Steven?" She transferred her grip from his wrist to his palm. "Our cook is amazing. You won't regret it."
"What about your dream of bein' an actress?"
"Michael will understand once I explain it to him properly."
The light in her eyes, the hope, imprisoned him. Love didn't equal entitlement. It often meant sacrifice, like the ones the Formans made for his future—and those his parents refused to make.
Jackie hadn't let go of his palm, and he glided his fingers over her hand. "When should I be there?"