Title: Life and Death
Chapter 4: Questions
Author: Emily
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Sadly, I still don't own them
Author's Notes: I apologize for the lack of updates. I hate it when I read a story and there are so many unanswered questions, so I began thinking about how I was going to answer the questions that came up with this story. One thought led to another, and pretty soon I had a completely different story. So this is going in a totally different direction than planned, and I think that this will be better than my original storyline. So I wanted to map out how I wanted everything to go before I wrote this chapter. The cons to that are that you had to wait longer for this one, the pros are that you will probably get the other chapters more quickly. Also, to the reviewer who asked for Sara to get mad, (I forget who it was, because I accidentally deleted the reviews when I changed the chapter- I had uploaded the wrong version- the unbeta'd version) Of course Sara has to get mad- what fun is writing a fic like this if you can't get Sara a little pissed off? lol Okay, enough rambling- on with the story!~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I don't believe it," Sara whispered, finally coming out of her stunned silence due to Nick's revelation.
"I know. It's unreal, but it's happening. But what can I do? She's my daughter." He rose and walked over to Sara's chair, placing his hand on her shoulders.
"No," she said, shaking off his touch and moving across the room to stand at the counter, her back to him, "No," she turned to face him, "What I don't believe is that you're just accepting all of this- no questions asked! I mean, dammit Nick! You haven't seen this woman in over six years. Six Years! And then she comes waltzing in here, tells you that you have a daughter, and that now you're responsible for her. I think that's a little strange, don't you?"
"Sara, I know there are a lot of unanswered questions, and I know that this is all really sudden, but Lexi is my daughter, and I can't just abandon her."
"And that's another thing. How do you know she's your daughter? Just because-"
"Sara stop! Listen to me-"
"No, you listen to me, Nick," she was yelling now, "For all you know, you're not even Lexi's father. And just because Kerry or whatever her name is-"
"Carrie"
"Whatever. Just because Carrie says she's your daughter doesn't mean she is. And even if she is your daughter, why is she showing up now? Yeah, I know, she's terminally ill, and she wants you to take Lexi," she said in response to the sharp look he gave her, "but why now? Why wouldn't she have contacted you when she found out she was pregnant? I mean, she could have gotten child support at the very least. So now, after all these years, she comes in here with her sob story and expects us to just go with the flow. Sorry, Nick, but I don't buy it." Sara had begun to pace the length of the room, and, realizing her actions, stopped to stand expectantly before Nick.
"Sara, you're being unreasonable. I know there are a lot of things that we have to deal with, but we can deal with them together. And I trust Carrie. I know she wouldn't lie about something like this."
"Nick, all I'm saying is that you can't be sure. At least have a paternity test done, that way we can know once and for all if she's yours or not. Greg can do it in the lab- it'll be easy."
"I'm not having a paternity test. She has my eyes, Sara. She's mine; I can feel it."
"Nick, she doesn't have your eyes. She has brown eyes. So does Carrie. So do I. So does 78% of America."
"It figures," he muttered under his breath.
"What does?" she snapped.
"That you would know how many people have brown eyes." He instantly regretted his words when her eyes shot daggers at him.
"I don't have to put up with this," she grabbed her keys from the table and reached for her jacket, "I'll see you later."
"Sara, wait!" he called after her. But she was already gone.
"Damn."
~*~*~
Nick slammed the door to his Tahoe. He was angry. Very angry. Sara was being so insensitive. Did she think he didn't have questions? He did. Did she think he wasn't upset because Carrie didn't tell him about Lexi when she found out? He was. Did she think he was going to take in his daughter, no questions asked? Damn straight. Lexi was his daughter, and nothing could change that. He remembered back to when he and Carrie broke up. He had been devastated. He remembered going to his parent's house on his way to the airport to say good-bye. His mother had told him that all things happened for a reason. That their destinies were already mapped out, and that you took what life gave you. At the time he doubted her words; he thought Carrie was his soul mate. Then came Sara. Once Sara became a part of his life, everything made sense. He knew that he was destined to be with her for the rest of his life. She was the one. The only thing he regretted was the way it ended for him and Carrie. With so much pain. Looking back, he realized that their relationship was falling apart before that night. He just didn't want to face reality at the time. He saw his life through rose-colored glasses, thinking that everything was perfect. But it wasn't. Now he realized that it couldn't have ended any other way. If it had, he would have been there when she found out about the baby, and then who knows what would have happened. But he probably would never have come to Vegas, and never would have met Sara. Nick couldn't imagine a life without Sara. She was his everything. He loved her. But he couldn't abandon his daughter. Not when she needed him the most.
~*~*~
Sara slammed the door to the Tahoe. She was angry. Very angry. Nick was being so irrational. Didn't he have questions? She did. Wasn't he upset with Carrie? She was. Didn't he realize that she would take in his child in a heartbeat? She would. But only if she was sure it was his. Which they couldn't be sure of, not without a paternity test. Which he wouldn't agree to. Which she couldn't understand. If he was so sure Lexi was his, then why didn't he just make sure, why take the chance? A few years down the line Lexi could find out that Nick wasn't her dad, and then what would happen? What if her real father suddenly showed up and demanded custody? What would they do then? She could see how much Nick loved Lexi, and he only knew her for a few hours. What would happen in a couple of years, when he had really grown attached to her, if he lost her? She didn't want to think about it. No, it was better to just be sure in the beginning. Before people got hurt. She remembered when her parents took in Jessica, a foster child. Jessica wanted them to adopt her, but they couldn't. They couldn't afford another child without the money from the state. Jessica had been crushed. Sara could still remember the day she went to live with another family, the tears and the heartbreaks. She had been sixteen, and Jessica was only five. She vowed that day never to break a child's heart again. That was one of the reasons she and children didn't get along that well. If she stayed distant, she couldn't hurt them. Then there was little Brenda Collins. She tried to stay distant from Brenda, too, but failed. She remembered looking into Brenda's pain-filled eyes and feeling her heart breaking in two. Someone else had hurt Brenda, not Sara, but she still felt guilty. She never wanted to see that much pain in a child's eyes again. And she sure as hell didn't want to be the cause of it.
~*~*~
"Okay. Assignments." Grissom glanced around the break room and knew that something wasn't right. For one thing, Nick and Sara were seated at opposite ends of the room, and hadn't said a word to each other. He had grown accustomed to seeing the two always cuddled up together on the leather couch, or stealing kisses in the locker room when they thought no one was looking. He hadn't seen them apart since they announced to everyone their relationship a few months back. Something must have happened. "Sara, you're with Catherine. Nick, Warrick, you're with me."
The group stood to leave, and Grissom pulled Sara to the side, "Sara, I don't know what's going on with you and Nick, but it ends now. Don't let this affect your work."
"Grissom, when have Nick or I ever let our relationship affect our work? Even when you put us both on the same cases, we never let it cause a problem. Why would it cause one now?" she said angrily, brushing past him to join Catherine in the hall.
"What was that about?" Catherine asked.
"I have no idea," she replied bitterly as the two walked into the parking lot.
"Come on! Something obviously happened between you and Nick, so dish. No, wait, let me guess- he left the toilet seat up?" Catherine teased.
"We just had a difference of opinions," she said cryptically.
"Yeah? About what? Must have been something serious."
"His daughter."
~*~*~
"Hey, man! Wait up!" Warrick ran to catch up to Nick, who had left the room as soon as Grissom finished giving out assignments and was heading to the Tahoe. "What's the rush?"
"Nothing. I've just got a lot on my mind."
"About Sara?"
Nick looked at him curiously. "What about Sara?"
"Oh man! Like everyone couldn't tell that you two had a fight. So what happened?" Warrick asked.
"You remember that girl I told you about, Carrie? The one I broke up with before I came to Vegas?"
"Oh, yeah. What happened? She show up?"
"Yeah, and she brought me a present."
"What?" he asked, confused.
"My daughter."
TBC.
A/N~ Okay, what do you think? Now I'm begging for reviews. Pretty please with George Eads on top review? And if it's a good review I'll throw in Gary Dourdan. And if you tell me WHAT you like or don't like, you'll also get Eric Szmanda. I think that's a fair deal. g Also, Jessica is a character from a story that I've been toying around with for a while. I thought I'd introduce her in this story. And, to those who don't remember Brenda Collins ~coughDaniellecough~ she was the little girl in Blood Drops played by Dakota Fanning (Lucy in the movie I am Sam) Actually, I taught a workshop at my dance school and there was a little girl named Roxi who looked just like Dakota Fanning, and Lexi is based on her. (get it, Roxi, Lexi, ha ha- sorry, not funny) g So if you want a mental picture of Lexi, picture Brenda Collins with brown eyes. And I have no idea how many people have brown eyes. I spent three days looking- honest to god- for every free minute I had for three days I was trying to find out how many people have brown eyes. If anybody does know, please tell me, and I'll change it. So for now I'm using creative license to invent a number. So sue me. And I'm sorry if I offended all the brown eyed people in the country. I think that's about it. Oh yeah- Go Raiders!
~Emily
Chapter 4: Questions
Author: Emily
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Sadly, I still don't own them
Author's Notes: I apologize for the lack of updates. I hate it when I read a story and there are so many unanswered questions, so I began thinking about how I was going to answer the questions that came up with this story. One thought led to another, and pretty soon I had a completely different story. So this is going in a totally different direction than planned, and I think that this will be better than my original storyline. So I wanted to map out how I wanted everything to go before I wrote this chapter. The cons to that are that you had to wait longer for this one, the pros are that you will probably get the other chapters more quickly. Also, to the reviewer who asked for Sara to get mad, (I forget who it was, because I accidentally deleted the reviews when I changed the chapter- I had uploaded the wrong version- the unbeta'd version) Of course Sara has to get mad- what fun is writing a fic like this if you can't get Sara a little pissed off? lol Okay, enough rambling- on with the story!~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I don't believe it," Sara whispered, finally coming out of her stunned silence due to Nick's revelation.
"I know. It's unreal, but it's happening. But what can I do? She's my daughter." He rose and walked over to Sara's chair, placing his hand on her shoulders.
"No," she said, shaking off his touch and moving across the room to stand at the counter, her back to him, "No," she turned to face him, "What I don't believe is that you're just accepting all of this- no questions asked! I mean, dammit Nick! You haven't seen this woman in over six years. Six Years! And then she comes waltzing in here, tells you that you have a daughter, and that now you're responsible for her. I think that's a little strange, don't you?"
"Sara, I know there are a lot of unanswered questions, and I know that this is all really sudden, but Lexi is my daughter, and I can't just abandon her."
"And that's another thing. How do you know she's your daughter? Just because-"
"Sara stop! Listen to me-"
"No, you listen to me, Nick," she was yelling now, "For all you know, you're not even Lexi's father. And just because Kerry or whatever her name is-"
"Carrie"
"Whatever. Just because Carrie says she's your daughter doesn't mean she is. And even if she is your daughter, why is she showing up now? Yeah, I know, she's terminally ill, and she wants you to take Lexi," she said in response to the sharp look he gave her, "but why now? Why wouldn't she have contacted you when she found out she was pregnant? I mean, she could have gotten child support at the very least. So now, after all these years, she comes in here with her sob story and expects us to just go with the flow. Sorry, Nick, but I don't buy it." Sara had begun to pace the length of the room, and, realizing her actions, stopped to stand expectantly before Nick.
"Sara, you're being unreasonable. I know there are a lot of things that we have to deal with, but we can deal with them together. And I trust Carrie. I know she wouldn't lie about something like this."
"Nick, all I'm saying is that you can't be sure. At least have a paternity test done, that way we can know once and for all if she's yours or not. Greg can do it in the lab- it'll be easy."
"I'm not having a paternity test. She has my eyes, Sara. She's mine; I can feel it."
"Nick, she doesn't have your eyes. She has brown eyes. So does Carrie. So do I. So does 78% of America."
"It figures," he muttered under his breath.
"What does?" she snapped.
"That you would know how many people have brown eyes." He instantly regretted his words when her eyes shot daggers at him.
"I don't have to put up with this," she grabbed her keys from the table and reached for her jacket, "I'll see you later."
"Sara, wait!" he called after her. But she was already gone.
"Damn."
~*~*~
Nick slammed the door to his Tahoe. He was angry. Very angry. Sara was being so insensitive. Did she think he didn't have questions? He did. Did she think he wasn't upset because Carrie didn't tell him about Lexi when she found out? He was. Did she think he was going to take in his daughter, no questions asked? Damn straight. Lexi was his daughter, and nothing could change that. He remembered back to when he and Carrie broke up. He had been devastated. He remembered going to his parent's house on his way to the airport to say good-bye. His mother had told him that all things happened for a reason. That their destinies were already mapped out, and that you took what life gave you. At the time he doubted her words; he thought Carrie was his soul mate. Then came Sara. Once Sara became a part of his life, everything made sense. He knew that he was destined to be with her for the rest of his life. She was the one. The only thing he regretted was the way it ended for him and Carrie. With so much pain. Looking back, he realized that their relationship was falling apart before that night. He just didn't want to face reality at the time. He saw his life through rose-colored glasses, thinking that everything was perfect. But it wasn't. Now he realized that it couldn't have ended any other way. If it had, he would have been there when she found out about the baby, and then who knows what would have happened. But he probably would never have come to Vegas, and never would have met Sara. Nick couldn't imagine a life without Sara. She was his everything. He loved her. But he couldn't abandon his daughter. Not when she needed him the most.
~*~*~
Sara slammed the door to the Tahoe. She was angry. Very angry. Nick was being so irrational. Didn't he have questions? She did. Wasn't he upset with Carrie? She was. Didn't he realize that she would take in his child in a heartbeat? She would. But only if she was sure it was his. Which they couldn't be sure of, not without a paternity test. Which he wouldn't agree to. Which she couldn't understand. If he was so sure Lexi was his, then why didn't he just make sure, why take the chance? A few years down the line Lexi could find out that Nick wasn't her dad, and then what would happen? What if her real father suddenly showed up and demanded custody? What would they do then? She could see how much Nick loved Lexi, and he only knew her for a few hours. What would happen in a couple of years, when he had really grown attached to her, if he lost her? She didn't want to think about it. No, it was better to just be sure in the beginning. Before people got hurt. She remembered when her parents took in Jessica, a foster child. Jessica wanted them to adopt her, but they couldn't. They couldn't afford another child without the money from the state. Jessica had been crushed. Sara could still remember the day she went to live with another family, the tears and the heartbreaks. She had been sixteen, and Jessica was only five. She vowed that day never to break a child's heart again. That was one of the reasons she and children didn't get along that well. If she stayed distant, she couldn't hurt them. Then there was little Brenda Collins. She tried to stay distant from Brenda, too, but failed. She remembered looking into Brenda's pain-filled eyes and feeling her heart breaking in two. Someone else had hurt Brenda, not Sara, but she still felt guilty. She never wanted to see that much pain in a child's eyes again. And she sure as hell didn't want to be the cause of it.
~*~*~
"Okay. Assignments." Grissom glanced around the break room and knew that something wasn't right. For one thing, Nick and Sara were seated at opposite ends of the room, and hadn't said a word to each other. He had grown accustomed to seeing the two always cuddled up together on the leather couch, or stealing kisses in the locker room when they thought no one was looking. He hadn't seen them apart since they announced to everyone their relationship a few months back. Something must have happened. "Sara, you're with Catherine. Nick, Warrick, you're with me."
The group stood to leave, and Grissom pulled Sara to the side, "Sara, I don't know what's going on with you and Nick, but it ends now. Don't let this affect your work."
"Grissom, when have Nick or I ever let our relationship affect our work? Even when you put us both on the same cases, we never let it cause a problem. Why would it cause one now?" she said angrily, brushing past him to join Catherine in the hall.
"What was that about?" Catherine asked.
"I have no idea," she replied bitterly as the two walked into the parking lot.
"Come on! Something obviously happened between you and Nick, so dish. No, wait, let me guess- he left the toilet seat up?" Catherine teased.
"We just had a difference of opinions," she said cryptically.
"Yeah? About what? Must have been something serious."
"His daughter."
~*~*~
"Hey, man! Wait up!" Warrick ran to catch up to Nick, who had left the room as soon as Grissom finished giving out assignments and was heading to the Tahoe. "What's the rush?"
"Nothing. I've just got a lot on my mind."
"About Sara?"
Nick looked at him curiously. "What about Sara?"
"Oh man! Like everyone couldn't tell that you two had a fight. So what happened?" Warrick asked.
"You remember that girl I told you about, Carrie? The one I broke up with before I came to Vegas?"
"Oh, yeah. What happened? She show up?"
"Yeah, and she brought me a present."
"What?" he asked, confused.
"My daughter."
TBC.
A/N~ Okay, what do you think? Now I'm begging for reviews. Pretty please with George Eads on top review? And if it's a good review I'll throw in Gary Dourdan. And if you tell me WHAT you like or don't like, you'll also get Eric Szmanda. I think that's a fair deal. g Also, Jessica is a character from a story that I've been toying around with for a while. I thought I'd introduce her in this story. And, to those who don't remember Brenda Collins ~coughDaniellecough~ she was the little girl in Blood Drops played by Dakota Fanning (Lucy in the movie I am Sam) Actually, I taught a workshop at my dance school and there was a little girl named Roxi who looked just like Dakota Fanning, and Lexi is based on her. (get it, Roxi, Lexi, ha ha- sorry, not funny) g So if you want a mental picture of Lexi, picture Brenda Collins with brown eyes. And I have no idea how many people have brown eyes. I spent three days looking- honest to god- for every free minute I had for three days I was trying to find out how many people have brown eyes. If anybody does know, please tell me, and I'll change it. So for now I'm using creative license to invent a number. So sue me. And I'm sorry if I offended all the brown eyed people in the country. I think that's about it. Oh yeah- Go Raiders!
~Emily