Note: Sorry it took me longer to update than normal, but life pulled me
away from my computer for awhile. Thanks so much to everyone who has
reviewed. It really keeps me writing. Thanks!
*
// I thank the Lord there's people out there like you/While Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters/Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers/Turn around and say good morning to the night/For unless they see the sky/But they can't and that is why/They know not if it's dark outside or light \\
"Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" by Elton John
*
Jackie's dad was arrested yesterday. And Kelso shot me. I spent the whole day making Kelso feel guilty and trying to figure out how to comfort Jackie. I don't comfort people normally, so making Jackie feel better was an incredibly difficult thing to do. Since I've been comforted so many times in my life, not because I wanted to be comforted, but because people can't leave well-enough alone; you would think I would be the best person to comfort Jackie. Not necessarily true.
Kelso is such an ass. It may have been an accident that he shot me. But I think it's really starting to hit him that Jackie and I are together now. He used to just make snide comments that were pretty much harmless. But he really expected Jackie to come to him for comfort. She has never, ever gone to him for comfort. Because he always hurts her. He was the reason she usually needed to be comforted. And who did she go to then? Me, that's who. Why in the world would this time be any different?
Of course, I didn't think about that until she was running toward me and hugging me tightly. I should have known she would come to me. I should have been ready for it. But I wasn't. Truth be told, it brought back so many old, bad memories when Mrs. Foreman told us Jackie's dad was arrested. I remembered when my dad got arrested. I didn't see him for years. And I don't really care anymore, because my life is better off without him. But, that wasn't a great day in my life.
It was funny to see Kelso feeling so guilty. He brought me food and offered to let me shoot him. So I did, after he saw that I hadn't lost my ability to see. He was so mad, but I think he understood afterwards. I wish my being with Jackie didn't make Kelso feel so crappy, but I'm not going to leave Jackie. Especially not now.
I did finally find a way to make Jackie feel better. I shaved my beard. She's been complaining about it for about three weeks. But I liked that damn beard. It looked good. But when Jackie saw I had shaved for her, it was worth it. I can always grow another beard if I want to. But Jackie doesn't give out those great smiles too often. She smiles a lot, but there are these special smiles she has. This was the second one I've gotten. I know I'm doing something right if I've gotten one of those smiles.
I hope her mom gets back soon. This has got to be hard for Jackie. Everything is completely changing for her. She's still got money that belongs to her. She says she will be fine, but nothing is going to be normal for her. Her mom should be back soon.
*
That was one of the best and worst days of my life. My life did completely change that day. And I'm not sure that my life will ever be normal again. My dad says he will get out and he'll fix everything so that we have plenty of money and I can go to Marquette for college if I want. But I don't know if I can believe him. I thought I could believe my mom when she said she was coming home. But she's still not home. And I have a feeling she's never coming back. When I first realized it, I thought I was going to die. But then I realized I have a better family now. I have Mr. and Mrs. Forman, Eric, Donna, Mr. Pinciotti, and Joanne.
But at the center of that family had been Steven. He was the only one I really showed how much I needed him. He was the only one I would let myself rely on. And he understood. I loved that he shaved his beard for me. When I saw him, it was like all of the horrible things that had happened that day kind of fell away. All I saw was Steven, doing something to make me feel better. I couldn't think of another time when anyone else had made such a great gesture.
I don't think I would have been able to handle my dad being arrested if it hadn't been for Steven. I needed someone to make me believe everything would be alright. I don't know if my mom would have been able to do that if she had ever come home. I know Michael never would have made me feel better. I've never needed someone so much in my life. And he was there when I needed him. He was always there when I needed him.
*
// I thank the Lord there's people out there like you/While Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters/Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers/Turn around and say good morning to the night/For unless they see the sky/But they can't and that is why/They know not if it's dark outside or light \\
"Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" by Elton John
*
Jackie's dad was arrested yesterday. And Kelso shot me. I spent the whole day making Kelso feel guilty and trying to figure out how to comfort Jackie. I don't comfort people normally, so making Jackie feel better was an incredibly difficult thing to do. Since I've been comforted so many times in my life, not because I wanted to be comforted, but because people can't leave well-enough alone; you would think I would be the best person to comfort Jackie. Not necessarily true.
Kelso is such an ass. It may have been an accident that he shot me. But I think it's really starting to hit him that Jackie and I are together now. He used to just make snide comments that were pretty much harmless. But he really expected Jackie to come to him for comfort. She has never, ever gone to him for comfort. Because he always hurts her. He was the reason she usually needed to be comforted. And who did she go to then? Me, that's who. Why in the world would this time be any different?
Of course, I didn't think about that until she was running toward me and hugging me tightly. I should have known she would come to me. I should have been ready for it. But I wasn't. Truth be told, it brought back so many old, bad memories when Mrs. Foreman told us Jackie's dad was arrested. I remembered when my dad got arrested. I didn't see him for years. And I don't really care anymore, because my life is better off without him. But, that wasn't a great day in my life.
It was funny to see Kelso feeling so guilty. He brought me food and offered to let me shoot him. So I did, after he saw that I hadn't lost my ability to see. He was so mad, but I think he understood afterwards. I wish my being with Jackie didn't make Kelso feel so crappy, but I'm not going to leave Jackie. Especially not now.
I did finally find a way to make Jackie feel better. I shaved my beard. She's been complaining about it for about three weeks. But I liked that damn beard. It looked good. But when Jackie saw I had shaved for her, it was worth it. I can always grow another beard if I want to. But Jackie doesn't give out those great smiles too often. She smiles a lot, but there are these special smiles she has. This was the second one I've gotten. I know I'm doing something right if I've gotten one of those smiles.
I hope her mom gets back soon. This has got to be hard for Jackie. Everything is completely changing for her. She's still got money that belongs to her. She says she will be fine, but nothing is going to be normal for her. Her mom should be back soon.
*
That was one of the best and worst days of my life. My life did completely change that day. And I'm not sure that my life will ever be normal again. My dad says he will get out and he'll fix everything so that we have plenty of money and I can go to Marquette for college if I want. But I don't know if I can believe him. I thought I could believe my mom when she said she was coming home. But she's still not home. And I have a feeling she's never coming back. When I first realized it, I thought I was going to die. But then I realized I have a better family now. I have Mr. and Mrs. Forman, Eric, Donna, Mr. Pinciotti, and Joanne.
But at the center of that family had been Steven. He was the only one I really showed how much I needed him. He was the only one I would let myself rely on. And he understood. I loved that he shaved his beard for me. When I saw him, it was like all of the horrible things that had happened that day kind of fell away. All I saw was Steven, doing something to make me feel better. I couldn't think of another time when anyone else had made such a great gesture.
I don't think I would have been able to handle my dad being arrested if it hadn't been for Steven. I needed someone to make me believe everything would be alright. I don't know if my mom would have been able to do that if she had ever come home. I know Michael never would have made me feel better. I've never needed someone so much in my life. And he was there when I needed him. He was always there when I needed him.