// As he rises to her apology/Anybody else would surely know/he's watching
her go/what a fool believes he sees/No wise man has the power to reason
away/What seems to be/Is always better than nothing/Than nothing at all \\
"What a Fool Believes" by The Doobie Brothers
*
What goes around comes around. It's karma and all of that.
Jackie cheats on me, I cheat on Jackie.
So why do I feel like shit? Why did I want to halfway believe Kelso was telling the truth when he told me that Jackie was just comforting?
I'm not an idiot. Kelso was Jackie's first. That's important. I guess. I mean, when your first is someone you are committed to. So, I was handicapped from the start and I could never have competed. I just finally realized it.
So, what goes around comes around. Jackie will be fine. She'll admit she was wrong and then we can part as friends. Kind of. Because I'll still hurt when I think of the girl I love wrapped around her ex-boyfriend.
I'll still want to kill Kelso.
And I'll always want to take back what I just did. Damn. I cheated on Jackie. Maybe I grew some kind of soul.
*
So, I'm really the ass. Kelso was telling the truth. Jackie was just comforting him.
Jackie had spent the whole day trying to find me so she could tell me that what I saw was nothing. She was frantic when she finally found me.
And when she left, I've never seen her more hurt. And she was angry too. Can't say that I really blame her.
The big thing is that I probably could have gotten away with what I did. But I confessed. I didn't let Kelso hold it over my head. I told her.
Because she deserved to know the kind of jerk she was dating.
If I could have trusted her. Well, I wouldn't be me. But I wouldn't be miserable right now either.
*
I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. I was so overwhelmed with Steven's emotions and my own. And they were at war with each other.
Steven didn't trust me and we both knew it. And he was hurt when I did something I promised not to do. I could understand that. And I would probably lash out too.
But holding someone is a far cry from having sex. My betrayal doesn't compare to his betrayal. He touched someone who wasn't me. And that makes my skin crawl.
But he felt guilty before he even found out what had happened between Michael and I. At least he has some measure of guilt. Michael was the thief who felt bad because he got caught, not because he stole.
And it does mean something that Steven told me the truth and didn't let me just find out for myself. It does mean something that Steven apologized and didn't blame me. Because Michael blamed me for his cheating.
I shouldn't be surprised that Steven and Michael don't compare in the area of cheating. They don't compare anywhere else either.
Michael cheated because he could. Steven cheated because he was hurt and he wanted me to hurt too. And he felt bad. I could tell he felt bad.
Michael never felt bad.
"What a Fool Believes" by The Doobie Brothers
*
What goes around comes around. It's karma and all of that.
Jackie cheats on me, I cheat on Jackie.
So why do I feel like shit? Why did I want to halfway believe Kelso was telling the truth when he told me that Jackie was just comforting?
I'm not an idiot. Kelso was Jackie's first. That's important. I guess. I mean, when your first is someone you are committed to. So, I was handicapped from the start and I could never have competed. I just finally realized it.
So, what goes around comes around. Jackie will be fine. She'll admit she was wrong and then we can part as friends. Kind of. Because I'll still hurt when I think of the girl I love wrapped around her ex-boyfriend.
I'll still want to kill Kelso.
And I'll always want to take back what I just did. Damn. I cheated on Jackie. Maybe I grew some kind of soul.
*
So, I'm really the ass. Kelso was telling the truth. Jackie was just comforting him.
Jackie had spent the whole day trying to find me so she could tell me that what I saw was nothing. She was frantic when she finally found me.
And when she left, I've never seen her more hurt. And she was angry too. Can't say that I really blame her.
The big thing is that I probably could have gotten away with what I did. But I confessed. I didn't let Kelso hold it over my head. I told her.
Because she deserved to know the kind of jerk she was dating.
If I could have trusted her. Well, I wouldn't be me. But I wouldn't be miserable right now either.
*
I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. I was so overwhelmed with Steven's emotions and my own. And they were at war with each other.
Steven didn't trust me and we both knew it. And he was hurt when I did something I promised not to do. I could understand that. And I would probably lash out too.
But holding someone is a far cry from having sex. My betrayal doesn't compare to his betrayal. He touched someone who wasn't me. And that makes my skin crawl.
But he felt guilty before he even found out what had happened between Michael and I. At least he has some measure of guilt. Michael was the thief who felt bad because he got caught, not because he stole.
And it does mean something that Steven told me the truth and didn't let me just find out for myself. It does mean something that Steven apologized and didn't blame me. Because Michael blamed me for his cheating.
I shouldn't be surprised that Steven and Michael don't compare in the area of cheating. They don't compare anywhere else either.
Michael cheated because he could. Steven cheated because he was hurt and he wanted me to hurt too. And he felt bad. I could tell he felt bad.
Michael never felt bad.