Aladdin and the Wonderful lamp
There once lived a poor tailor,
Tobirama Senju appeared.
"Let's see now...this is the 3rd time I've been brought back to life in my afterlife time. Can't a guy rest in peace?"
Afraid not man. Just go with the flow.
"Is that you God?"
....Yes. I am. My power is overflowing.
"What?"
Nothing, forget that. Now God needs you for his entertainment story.
who had a son called Aladdin,
12 year old Sasuke appeared.
"OHMYGOD I'M NOT A GIRL THIS TIME!"
"You look familiar child."
Sasuke turned and looked at Tobirama.
"Oh yeah you are the second hokage. My names Sasuke Uchiha. The best ninja ever."
Tobirama frowned.
"Is this your idea of a sick joke God? You made a filthy Uchiha my son?"
"Hey screw you old man! I'll have you know I bathe 4 times a week damnit. And what do you have against the Uchihas?"
"I hate them. They killed most of my family."
"Dude Senjus killed alot of Uchihas too. Don't be that guy."
"Listen God, I will not interact with an Uchiha.
You will damnit or else...I'll make YOU an Uchiha.
Tobirama started to sweat. "...fine."
Great. Now i'm pretty sure you are going to like Sasuke. We all do. Especially Orochimaru.
"Hey!"
Anywho. Get in with the story.
"Wait why is the wannabe water bender calling you God?"
a careless, idle boy who would do nothing but play ball all day long in the streets with little idle boys like himself.
"Wait what the hell is idle? Isn't that when your computer screen goes black? or if you areplaying a videogame when you do nothing?"
"I feel insulted that a claimed child of mine is so dense. Aren't you Uchihas suppose to be geniuses?"
"How are you going to call me dumb with a full Ninja helmet on? you look like your going to injure yourself eating rice oldman. And why do you have fur on? It's not even cold. In fact its summer time."
"Hmph Nature doesn't affect a powerful ninja such as myself. A little warmth wont harm me."
"What you need is a little deoderant because you smell like Ass. If you would take off that winter armor you wouldn't sweat so much."
This so grieved the father that he died;
"You disappointed me to death my young Uchiha Son. Go figure." Tobirama said sarcastically.
"I think you died of heat stroke."
yet, in spite of his mother's tears and prayers, Aladdin did not mend his ways. One day, when he was playing in the streets as usual, a stranger asked him his age, and if he was not the son of Mustapha the tailor.
Mitsuki appeared.
"Who the hell are you?" Asked Sasuke.
Mitsuki blinked.
"You look like Sarada's dad a little."
"Sarada? What kind of stupid ass name is that? It sounds half useless."
"I am, sir," replied Aladdin; "but he died a long while ago." On this the stranger, who was a famous African magician, fell on his neck and kissed him, saying, "I am your uncle, and knew you from your likeness to my brother. Go to your mother and tell her I am coming."
"No seriously. Who are you? You look like Someone who has an unhealthy interest in me."
Mitsuki blinked.
"I am Mitsuki."
"Mitsuki what?"
"Mitsuki what what?"
Sasuke face palmed.
"No do you have a family name?"
"A what now?"
"...Are you related to Tenten? The amount of characters without family names is concerning."
Sooooo...we are just going to gloss over the neck kiss thing like it didnt happen?
"Eh its not so bad. One time Orochimaru kissed me WITH his neck." Sasuke commented.
Mitsuki frowned staring at Sasuke.
'Oh father, how I wish you kiss me with your neck aswell. I am but a lonely butterfly, waiting to be carried away by the wind of your love'
Sasuke noticed Mitsuki's emotionless gaze.
"You alright there bud?"
Aladdin ran home and told his mother of his newly found uncle. "Indeed, child," she said, "your father had a brother, but I always thought he was dead."
"So you are momma Uchiha huh?"
"Got that right brat."ANko said eating Dango.
"Did you know dad was an uptight prejudice asshat?"
"Fugaku got to be your dad?"
"What? No! Hey Screw you!"
"Ehh...Sure why not?"
"...You should lay off the dango. It's making you...Orochimaru-like."
"No dango doesn't do that. My curse mark does that."
"Well still. Too much dango might make you fat in the future."
"HA! And next you'll tell me You are going to marry Sakura."
"HA!"
"HA!"
"HAHAHAHA!
"HAHAHAHA!"
"HAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAA!
"...Inuyonas you ruined it."
"Hey atleast he finished the kamehameha in less than 30 minutes
However, she prepared supper, and bade Aladdin seek his uncle, who came laden with wine and fruit.
"WHATS UP MOTHAFUCKERS!"
Sasuke and Anko started in bewilderment as a blue haired Strangely dressed man burst through their door with alcohol.
"Who the hell are you?" Anko asked.
He was too busy draining the contents of his bottle to notice.
"I'm surprised he can drink properly with that giant red nose in the way.
"Ignoring me huh? Welp...Guess it's time." Anko said pulling her hair back in a ponytail.
Anko kicked the strange man in the family jewels knocking him clean out.
"What the hell mom?!"
"Hush Sasuke. It's time now."
Anko said this while dragging the unconscious man into their bedroom and locked the door behind them.
"Time for what?"
Sasuke was utterly perplexed.
He presently fell down and kissed the place where Mustapha used to sit, bidding Aladdin's mother not to be surprised at not having seen him before, as he had been forty years out of the country.
No noise had come from the room for 40 minutes leaving Sasuke even more worried than he had already been.
"...Hey Author I have a question. And it's very important."
I may or may not have an answer.
"Think carefully. Your life depends on it." Sasuke said glaring at seemingly nothing.
Sasuke I'm literally the author. I can merge your bloodline with Sakura's.
"Ok ok chill. I was being dramatic."
What is your question Sasuke?
"...Chest or thighs?"
What?
"Breast or thighs?" He repeated.
What do you mean? Like as in chicken?
"BREAST OR THIGHS DAMNIT ITS NOT THAT HARD!"
IM NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN DICK HEAD! BE PACIFIC!
"YOU MEAN SPECIFIC?!"
NO PACIFIC LIKE THE OCEAN!
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"
YOUR QUESTION WITH NO CONTEXT MAKES NO SENSE! DO YOU MEAN CHICKEN OR WOMEN?!?!
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I MEAN!? IM A PRETEEN CLANLESS NINJA BOY!"
WHY ARE YOU BRINGING YOUR DEAD CLAN INTO YOUR PERVERTED QUESTIONS?
"WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT?!"
WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE VILLAGE IN PURSUIT OF POWER AND GO TO SNAKE PEDOPHILE WHO KISSES THINGS WITH HIS NECK?!
"I HAD TO AVENGE MY CLAN!!!!! IT WAS A NOBLE GOAL DAMNIT!!"
NOBLE GOAL MY ASS! YOU LEFT SAKURA ALL ALONE ON A BENCH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!
"BECAUSE SHE'S FOR THE STREEEEEEEETS!"
Thighs.
"WHY- huh?"
Thighs. My answer is thighs.
"That's so basic."
If she got some thighs then we goin for a ride.
"Clearly you're uncultured. In my clan women with the biggest chest we're considered high status."
Top heavy women look like half empty toothpaste tubes.
Suddenly the door Flung open and out stepped Anko with the biggest grin on her face Sasuke had ever seen.
"Finally! I thought you died in there. What the hell were you doing?" Sasuke said appraising how disheveled Anko looked.
"It was simply time." Anko answered smugly while undoing her ponytail.
The blue haired man limped out the door and made his way to Anko's side.
He had the look of pure fear in his eyes.
It was like he was shown the worst possible thing in history over and over again and was forced to sit there and look at it.
"Hey man are you ok? you look like someone forced you to watch Fairy tail?"
He didn't answer. He just stared into nothingness with his jaw agape.
"Eh. He'll be fine. But more importantly Sasuke...I hear you like chests." She said grinning like a mad woman.
AN - OMG ANOTHER UPDATE? DO I STILL HAVE FANS?!?!?
IS THIS STORY STILL FUNNY?
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