Notes: You probably don't think of Raven as a pet person. If anyone was going to have a pet, I think it'd be Starfire. But I would be hesitant to give her one. I could just see her feeding a puppy fuzzy blue hamburger meat… _
I'd like to say my love for ravens (and, indeed, Raven) stems from an obsession with Edgar Allan Poe's famous poem…but that would be a lie, since it was really that Simpsons Halloween special that did it.
Summary: Beast Boy gets a pet for Raven. A really, really mean pet…
Broody and the Beast (Boy)
Chapter 2: Eeeeevil Comes In Many Forms
Beast Boy squared his jaw and looked the shopkeeper in the eye. "Dude. I am so NOT buying that bird."
The elderly man, who had introduced himself as Mr. Fandango, sighed. "Sonny, you're making a big mistake." He tapped the birdcage with the tip of his cane. "I'll have you know that this is a truly fine animal."
"It. Is. Creepy." Beast Boy shuddered just thinking about it. "I could swear it was planning to EAT me, the way it looked at me just now…"
"Oh, he was probably just giving you the eye, since you're a stranger and all."
"You mean the Evil Eye," Beast Boy muttered under his breath.
"What you fail to realize, sonny, is that birds make excellent companions. Practically take care of themselves, they do. Just change the water and keep 'em fed, that's all there is to it."
"In that case, I'll take ANY other black birds you have."
"Sorry. Entrails here is the only one I got left."
Beast Boy's left eye twitched. "Dude. You did NOT just call it that in front of me!"
"Yep, that's his name. Can't rightly remember why, though…"
"Oh, that's it. Keep your stupid demon bird. Raven's getting a hamster and that's all there is to it."
Mr. Fandango chuckled. "So it's for a lady friend, eh? Didn't think you were a bird lover. Well, that changes everything."
"How?" Beast Boy asked, giving the old man a wary look.
"I guarantee she'll love it, or you get your money back!"
Beast Boy sighed in defeat. "As long as I can get that in writing, we've got a deal."
* * * * *
Starfire smiled to herself as she flew towards the gym. Cyborg had told her that Robin & Raven were playing "Tag" there.
…she wasn't quite sure what "Tag" was, but it had to be lots of fun, especially if Robin had convinced Raven to play (she was not overly fond of games…or anything else, it seemed).
"Perhaps it can be a three-person game," Starfire said hopefully as landed in front of the gym and poked her head in.
After only a few seconds, she decided that she never wanted to play Tag, ever.
From Cyborg's description, the idea was for one person to run from another until they were tagged, and then the roles were reversed. He'd made it seem awfully simple.
If there was anything simple about the way Robin & Raven were "playing," it was that she was simply trying her best to kill him.
She wasn't actually moving at all, whereas Robin was ducking, dodging, and leaping over every single object in the room, which suddenly gained a mind of its own and flew straight at him, courtesy of Raven's telekinesis. Despite the fact that he was doing quite well, Starfire could not help reacting the way she did.
"NO! ROBIN!!!"
Robin's head snapped up in surprise, just as a medicine ball caught him in the jaw. With a low groan, he hit the floor face-first.
Raven looked surprised as well, more by Robin's allowing himself to be distracted than by Starfire's sudden appearance. She brought all the objects to a halt, and sent them flying away from the unconscious Robin with a wave of her hand. "You really shouldn't do that," she stated calmly, "but thanks. I win."
Starfire rushed to Robin and carefully rolled him onto his back. "Robin?! Can you hear me???"
Robin slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times. "Did I win?" he asked dazedly.
"Hardly, thanks to Starfire." Raven leaned over him and passed her hand briefly over his jaw. There was a faint white glow, and then nothing as the rising bruise vanished.
"Thanks," Robin murmured, sitting up and rubbing his head.
"Sure." Raven stood up and promptly left the gym.
"…then…Raven was not attempting to harm you?" Starfire asked slowly.
Robin grinned. "Yeah, but that's just how she helps me stay in shape. There's really no point in training if there's no element of danger involved. You don't take it as seriously otherwise."
"And…is Raven the only one qualified to assist you in training?"
"Um…no, sometimes Cyborg does it. Why do you ask?"
A hurt look passed over Starfire's face. "Robin…you have never asked me to help you train…"
Robin stared at her in surprise. "Well, I'd like to think you wouldn't be interested in trying to hurt me."
Starfire blushed. "That is true…but if this training helps you, then I would like to help."
"Are you sure?" he asked skeptically.
"I would do anything to keep you safe," Starfire said, her cheeks burning. "Even throw things at your head…"
Robin laughed nervously. "Well…okay, then. Guess I've got myself a new training partner."
"Really? Oh, thank you, Robin!!!" She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.
Robin sighed lightly as he returned the embrace. "No problem…"
* * * * *
Beast Boy peeked around the corner, and, finding the coast clear, slowly crept into the living room.
At his side, the covered birdcage rustled a bit.
"Quiet, you. It's bad enough I had to actually pay to take you off the old man's hands. One false move and you're back in the pet store with all those cats."
The birdcage ceased its rustling…for the moment.
Beast Boy glowered at it for good measure. Raven was going to hate the stupid bird. Why had he even bothered to bring it back to the Tower? Because Old Man Fandango had conned him into buying it, that's why, he reminded himself. All that talk about no other black birds in the whole area, as they just weren't that popular anymore. Well, that was understandable. Raven probably only wanted one BECAUSE they were so unpopular.
He was considering just chucking the cage out of the window when the other Titans entered the room.
"Hey! Welcome back, little buddy!" Cyborg greeted. Noticing the cage, he asked, "I assume your little shopping trip was a success?"
"Not really," Beast Boy began to say, but he suddenly found Raven right in front of him.
"Gimme," she demanded in a tone that was playful and threatening at the same time.
He reluctantly surrendered the cage. "Don't get your hopes up, he was the very last one they had, and I know he's a little creepy, but-"
Raven pointedly ignored him, pulled off the cover, and stared into the cage.
The large, beady-eyed raven stared back at her with indifference.
Beast Boy closed his eyes, waiting for Raven to slam the cage over his hand and toss him out the window, and THEN drop Cyborg on him while summoning up some random torture demon to flay-
"He's exquisite," Raven whispered.
"…he is?" Beast Boy asked in total shock.
"…he is?" the other Titans echoed in confusion.
Raven ignored them and opened the cage door.
"Uh…Raven, maybe you shouldn't-" Cyborg began to say.
The bird slowly stepped out of the cage, flew a few feet into the air, and landed calmly on Raven's shoulder, where he glared at the other Titans like some sort of small, particularly hideous gargoyle.
Raven handed the cage back to Beast Boy and gently stroked the bird's beak with a finger. "Good boy," she murmured softly, apparently pleased.
The raven did not look too pleased himself, but as he didn't bite her fingers off and leave her with bloody stumps, they all had to assume he enjoyed the attention.
"Just WHERE did you get this bird?" Robin whispered to Beast Boy.
"Fandango's Old-Fashioned Pet Store." He frowned. "…you think it's ugly, too…right?"
"What I think doesn't matter." Robin shrugged and gestured to Raven, who was…almost smiling.
"I guess not," Beast Boy agreed, grinning faintly.
"Is he friendly?" Starfire asked, reaching out to pet the bird's head.
Raven just glanced at her, but the bird got a vicious glint in his eyes.
Robin, though he wasn't even looking in that direction, automatically snatched Starfire's hand just before the raven's beak could snap shut on it.
Starfire gasped and moved behind Robin, her eyes wide with fear.
Raven shrugged innocently. "You invaded his personal space."
The bird flapped its wings once and began to preen the left one with its pointy beak.
"So what are you going to call it?" Cyborg asked
"I don't know yet," Raven admitted. "I'll have to think about it."
"Raymond," suggested Cyborg at once.
Raven looked at him. "I am not calling him that."
"How about Bird?" Starfire asked.
"…you want me to call my bird…Bird."
"Is it not a good name for him?"
Raven shook her head. "I'm going to my room." She had only gone a few feet when she stopped and glanced over her shoulder. "Are you coming, Beast Boy?"
Beast Boy's jaw dropped, but he recovered quickly. "Be right there!"
She nodded and walked off.
Beast Boy spun around to face the others. "What's MY name, you ask?" He slipped on a pair of shades and peered over the top of them. "Why, it's Love. Dr. Love, that is…"
"You better get going before she changes her mind, man," Cyborg advised.
"Or before she realizes what she just asked," Robin added with a smirk.
"Hey, YOU guys are just jealous of how smooth I am! Observe, chumps." Beast Boy swaggered over to Starfire, and made a big show of taking her hand and kissing the back of it.
"Is this common practice for doctors on Earth?" Starfire asked, watching with both confusion and amusement as Beast Boy gradually began to move up her arm with his kisses.
Robin pinched Beast Boy's ear just as the kisses got past her wrist. "I thought it was Raven you were after," he said through gritted teeth.
"Hey, Dr. Love never turns away a patient!" Beast Boy protested, but he let go of Starfire's arm. He started towards the hallway, but paused to aim a saucy wink at Starfire. "We'll finish your check-up later, sweet thing," he promised before fleeing in the face of Robin's glare.
Cyborg patted the alien girl's shoulder. "For future reference, Star, if a doctor—or any other guy—ever tries that with you, just slug him, okay?"
"Oh, but I could never hit Beast Boy!" Starfire exclaimed. "He is my dear friend, and he was only being…affectionate?"
"That's one way of putting it, I guess," Robin admitted.
* * * * *
Endnotes: Against my better judgment, I'm doing one last chapter. I want to finish this series before I move on to other stories (at least two in the works, both focusing on Raven, to some extent). Anyway, you'll find out what Raven has in store for Beast Boy, what she finally calls her bird, and what my ultimate opinion on the Raven/BB pairing is…though, that may not be a good thing…