Chapter 3
Every little pain
Fans a bitter flame
Nothing stops me loving you
Turn another page
The story will never fade
Sleep with thoughts of you until daylight
I couldn't believe it; I had kissed Ginny Weasley. And if that wasn't enough I then asked her to have her Christmas lunch with me! I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking with my brain that was for certain. But that kiss, it totally blew me away. I wasn't inexperienced in my seventh year, I had been with girls, but never had one kiss felt like that. But it wasn't just feeling, it was all the senses. My lips touched hers and, it sounds really corny – like a cheesy romantic muggle film or book, but all my senses heightened and colourful pictures flashed through my mind. Thousands of tropical birds bursting into flight in front of a huge yellow sun reflecting off a lake, A sunset staining the clouds crimson and gold, a brilliant emerald butterfly. So many things that she seemed to pass over to me. She unlocked all the colour that my father had pushed away to make way for his black world.
So after she had shown me the rose and I had looked into her stunning brown eyes once more I couldn't stop myself. I cupped her face in my hands and slowly bent to kiss her. She hesitated at first but when I started to pull away she reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me closer. Call me a typical guy but at that moment I didn't want to stop, I wanted to stay in her embrace forever. Lifting my head I rested my forehead against hers, gazing once more into her warm eyes. We stayed there until Ginny realised that we would be late for breakfast. So asking her to meet me afterwards I told her I was going to stay there for a bit longer and sent her to the hall. I stood there staring at the rose for a moment, marvelling in it before I started across the snow-covered grounds after Ginny. My day had suddenly become a lot better.
* * *
What I was feeling at that time was so huge, bigger than anything I had experienced. Everything was overwhelming. The worst thing about it all was that he just happened to be the worst enemy of my brother and his friends. The guy I fall in love with (though I didn't know it then) had to be the guy that at least one of my brothers hated already – the odds were against me.
Though that wasn't going to dishearten me, not until the end of the Christmas holidays anyway. Ron and the others being away and all. Our first 'date' I suppose you could call it was after our breakfast in the grounds. We met in the entrance hall (original huh!) and went for a walk. We didn't really say much; it was more of a comfortable silence. It can be really awkward and all you can think is "I need to say something" but with Draco it was really comfortable, like I'd known him forever and we didn't need words anymore.
When I was younger, before I went to Hogwarts and all my brothers stayed at school, I used to watch the children in the fields building piles of snow. One year I had plucked up the courage to go over and ask to join them in whatever they were doing. I think they were quite shocked that I had no idea what a snowman was. But that day is one of the best days I have ever had.
But I am off my subject once more - you are making me digress. So, after we had walked a fair way and we had come to a fairly large, thick patch of snow I stopped and began to roll my first ball to become his body. The expression on Draco's face when he turned around was priceless.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like?" I replied taking my attention off the ball for a moment and placing my hands on my hips. "I am building a snowman!" He sneered (so unlike him) and told me that he was not going to act like a muggle and build a stupid muggle snowman. Ten minutes later Draco was helping me smooth down the snowman's body.
Another ten minutes later and we had the entire body and head of the snowman standing in the grounds. All we needed now were the features. Draco started wandering around looking for stones for his eyes, mouth and buttons while I ran to the kitchens to ask the eager kitchen staff for a carrot. When I got back Draco had already given the snowman all the stones for his features and a scarf and tie – in Slytherin colours.
I stood still for a while not sure what to do. It showed our first stepping-stone, we were in different houses, enemy houses.
"It looked too black and white, it needed colour." He informed me. Colour. Taking off my scarf I moved up to the snowman and took off his Slytherin one. Tuning out Draco's protests I held up the ends of both scarves and twisted them around each other before placing the newly made scarf back around his neck. A multi coloured one that was neither one house nor the other, just four different colours intertwined. I stepped back and stood next to Draco awaiting his reaction.
* * *
What could I say to that? I was brought up to believe that Slytherin were the elite and Gryffindor the scum on their shoe. Ginny was trying to teach me I was wrong about that, yet it is still hard to let go. And if I wanted to be with her, which I did, then I would have to get used to the fact that she is in Gryffindor wouldn't I. Didn't mean I had to like it though. Of course it was a good omen that she didn't just exchange my scarf for hers, showed that she was trying to forget the barriers.
"That's better."
She turned to me and gave the sweetest smile I had ever seen. My mouth went dry; I wished she wouldn't do that. I moved to kiss her but she held her hand up in a halting gesture. She bent down and picked up the carrot she had dropped.
"One final touch," she said with a flourish and drilled the carrot into the centre. "Perfect," she stated turning around.
"Perfect," I whispered back and reached out my hand to pull her to me again. Closing my eyes I bent my head to her when suddenly I felt freezing cold sludge drip its way down my back. I opened my eyes to see Ginny smirking (which I must say looked fetching on her) with more snow in her hand. I stood shocked for a moment before moving towards her planning to get her back. She must have realised what I was doing though and squealed before running away.
I bent down to pick up some snow before running after her, catching her easily I held her still as I placed the snow down her neck watching her wriggle with the cold.
"I can't believe you just did that!" she spluttered with a grin.
"No Malfoy lets someone put snow down their back without getting them back for it."
"You have a rule for that?" I stopped, stumped, I never thought of it like that. I opened my mouth to reply when she ran away again towards the snowman and started to throw snowballs at me. I retaliated and soon we were chasing each other round the snowman getting covered in snow.
* * *
I had never had such a great day since I made a snowman the first time. I had a sinking feeling that it was to do with a snowman as they had featured in both days but I pushed that aside to daydream.
The next month was heaven. We kept our relationship secret from everybody as Draco said people wouldn't understand and might make my life miserable or something. I could see where he was coming from so I did what he asked and said nothing. We met up mostly in the evenings - outside, in the astronomy tower, wherever we could find to be honest and they were always great, we'd talk about everything and anything. I felt I had a real friend at last and in my opinion it couldn't have been anyone better. But of course it wasn't meant to last.
* * *
That fateful day was a cold one near the end of January. I was on my way up to the Astronomy tower to see Ginny on our 'one month anniversary', which she insisted we celebrate when I met Pansy.
"Common Dracie," I shuddered at her nasal voice and my given nickname, "I know you are seeing someone that you aren't telling anybody about, you are on your way to see them now, and if it's so secretive then it must be someone terrible! I have my own suspicions. Do you remember the time Professor Sprout came into the hall announcing that two students had left their scarves outside? A Slytherin and a Gryffindor one, and though you didn't own up I knew you hadn't got a scarf as you weren't wearing it. And think of my shock when I overhead Ron asking his sister where hers was. Now putting one and one together to make three I have come to the conclusion that you are seeing a Weasley. Am I right?"
"No," I said with a sigh as if I was explaining something easy to someone for the umpteenth time. "You are not right. Let me get this straight. You think I, a Malfoy, would even contemplate going near a Weasley? You know how I feel about them, their vile red hair and freckles, their muggle loving dad. How could you believe that I would ruin my reputation with dirt like that? Taint my hands with that whore? You obviously don't understand class Pansy dear…or mathematics. Now I have no time to stand here and chat, I'm - "
When I turned around I saw Ginny staring at me, ghostly pale with tears slowly making their tracks down her cheeks. She had heard everything I had said. I couldn't get my mouth to work; I didn't know what to say. So I stood and stared at her staring at me. Finally she turned away and slowly began to walk back the way she had come.
"Can't you handle the truth?" Pansy yelled after her before Ginny broke into a run and sprinted out of my life.
* * *
In my dormitory crying my eyes out within my shut curtains I felt as if I had lost everything in one day. My heart and soul had been ripped and slashed to pieces and crushed into the floor so it couldn't be mended. Still crying I got changed and slipped under my covers trying to shut out everything going through my mind. All my memories of us together from the latest to our first meeting flashed across my closed eyelids as if I was saying goodbye to all of them one by one. And then, still thinking of him, I silently cried myself to sleep.