**The Perfect Story of Princess Tapeworm**
Ella sat in a chair, smiling. She was as happy as she could get. There was something growing inside her. Not tapeworm. Not anymore.
It was a baby. And it didn't LOOK like a tapeworm either. Hopefully. Not with Char's gene's anyway. But maybe Char's grandfather looked like a tapeworm.
Anyway, it was FINALLY obvious she was going to have a baby. She hadn't had her period in three months. But if only she could have gotten those little things that tell you whether or not you're pregnant. It would have been so much easier. Might have even gotten her out of sewing. And dancing. And greeting.
And the sex. Not that it was BAD. It was just boring. Anyway, she was going to have a baby. FINALLY! This was the whole point anyway. Hopefully it was a girl. That would show those stupid pompous men that girls could rule the whole kingdom too. MUHAHA!
Now, what about names? Tapeworm? If the kid looked like most little kids when they're babies, then it sure would LOOK like a tapeworm. But how would Princess Tapeworm sound? Not very princessy. PERFECT!
Char suddenly came in. 'Ah ha!' Ella thought, 'Perfect timing!'
"CHAR! You know for the baby? I have the perfect name!" She closed her eyes to be dramatic. "Princess Tapeworm!"
Char was totally. Ella opened one eye to glance out to see how excited he was. How surprised she was when she saw he was staring at her in horror.
"What's wrong Char?" she asked.
"There's a bug on the wall!" he cried and covered his head.
Ella screamed and ran out of the room. After she called the medieval police and they got rid of the bug, she dragged Char into the room and started over. "Char! You know for the baby? I have the perfect name!" She closed her eyes to be dramatic. "Princess Tapeworm!"
"Wowzerz!" he gasped. "That is beautiful!" he began to sob and the royal handkerchief maidens had to come and bring him a towel.
Ella cackled evilly for a second and everyone turned to start at her strangely. "What?" she asked innocently. "I didn't cackle evilly for a second, so why are you staring?"
Everyone rolled their eyes and walked away, except for Char, who was still crying.
"Char, you can stop crying."
Char looked up. "Oh. Well, it was about time!"
"Yea. Let's go to the royal faerie station and order some fairies for the huge thing that I forgot the name of. You know, when the girl gets a spouse, and at first refuses to marry the guy, but then without knowing it's the same guy, falls in love with him anyway. OUR daughter isn't going to live a life like that, but we still need the fairies."
"Ok!" So Char and Ella walk out of the perfect room, perfect hand in perfect hand, and they each sigh a perfect sigh for a perfect to be perfect baby.
After Ella has the baby, she dies. Poor Princess Tapeworm! Since she was born perfect, she must be like every other perfect person in such stories, so Ella had to die. But later people began to say that Ella was alive, but they were all crazy Bahamas people, so no one believed them.
Anyway, after Princess Tapeworm's not so perfect, yet perfect for this story delivery, Char cries a little and then take her to that ceremony that Ella never found out the name of. Princess Tapeworm was unknowingly given to some other perfect baby to be married as soon as they could. Well, as soon as their perfect parents could, anyway.
So as Princess Tapeworm grew she was a perfect prefect purple princess. Except for the fact she was not purple. But Princess Tapeworm had ONE fault. GASP! She was allergic-it hurts to say this about such a perfect person as Princess Tapeworm, but she was-gasp- allergic to.. TAPEWORMS!
SO it's a good thing that she didn't like with her perfect mother's imperfect stepmother and her perfect mother's imperfect stepsisters. They loved to have swimming pools full of tapeworms because they said it was good luck to have one growing inside of you. Somehow.
So Princess Tapeworm was very happy in the perfect castle, being the perfect daughter..UNTIL!
Until one day she found out that she was going to be married to Prince Bob. He was perfect too, except for the fact that had an allergy to sponges. They were a perfect couple, but Princess Tapeworm, being a perfect defender of freedom, didn't want to be a perfect wife for the perfect prince, who would probably also be the perfect husband and the perfect king. So she ran away and somehow survived without ruining her perfect shoes and her perfect dress and her perfect hair.
There she met a man. He said his name was Bob. "Woa!" she gasped. "That's the name of the perfect man I'm supposed to perfectly marry! My name's Tapeworm!"
"WHOA! That is soooo denied. The perfect girl I'm supposed to marry is called Tapeworm! Whoa, that is so cool!"
"Wow! Since you are obviously perfect enough for me to fall in love with you, I'm going to kiss you."
"Ok, and you obvious perfect enough to be a perfect replacement for the perfect Princess Tapeworm. So you can give me the perfect kiss, but it has to be perfect!"
So Princess Tapeworm perfectly kisses the perfect Bob. Then they break away and do a voodoo dance. "UuuuHhhhhHhhKuuuh!"
Attracted by the perfect noise of the perfect couple, a fairy that was at the ceremony thing that Ella never found the name of saw them dancing. SO she was flying perfectly straight to the castle of the very evil Lockturn.
After telling the very evil Lockturn of the location of the perfect couple doing to the perfect voodoo dance, the very evil Lockturn cackles very evilly. "What do you want to be repaid with, my very evil helper?"
The fairy, whose name was Kooa laughed. "My drug dealer stopped giving me drugs after he found out I was a fairy. Give me your druggie bag!"
The very evil Lockturn looks around nervously. "Druggie bag.Uh, I, uh, don't know what you are talking about very evilly.he..he.."
Kooa lunges very evilly at the very evil Lockturn. She grabs the bag from the very evil grip of the very evil Lockturn. Then next few days the very evil Lockturn came down hard. But then he found some very evil drugs. THEN he went on his very evil way to get the perfect couple.
When he very evilly found them, they were still dancing and singing very perfectly. So the very evil Lockturn packed them very evilly onto a very evil donkey's back and rode on his evil way back to the very evil castle of the very evil Lockturn.
The perfect couple shivered perfectly and pleaded perfectly with the very evil Lockturn. But the very evil Lockturn very evilly turned down everything they perfectly said.
As soon as the very evil Lockturn got to his very evil castle, he pushed the perfect couple very evilly into a very evil dungeon and locked himself into his very evil room. The perfect couple cried perfectly. The very evil Lockturn stuck a very evil needle into his very evil arm and very evilly OD'ed. So the perfect couple were stuck perfectly into the very evil dungeon of the former very evil Lockturn. But the magical mice heard that the perfect couple were in perfect trouble so they made a magical plan to help the perfect couple get out of the very evil dungeon of the former very evil Lockturn.
Finally the magical mice had a magical plan. They used a magical magic spell on the very evil door of the very evil dungeon of the former very evil Lockturn. Finally the very evil door of the very evil dungeon of the former very evil Lockturn opened very evilly. The perfect couple stepped out and thanked the magical mice perfectly.
The perfect couple ran out of the very evil castle of the former very evil Lockturn with meeting a single very evil helper of the former very evil Lockturn. Soon they found some perfect horses by a stream and jumped on the perfect horses. Princess Tapeworm knew how to ride perfectly of coarse!
Finally the perfect couple reached the perfect Princess Tapeworm's perfect kingdom [it was closer]. Then the perfect couple were perfectly told that they had always been made for each other, perfectly.
SO the perfect couple had a perfect wedding and lived perfectly forever and ever until people from the future were tired of the perfect couple.
Ella sat in a chair, smiling. She was as happy as she could get. There was something growing inside her. Not tapeworm. Not anymore.
It was a baby. And it didn't LOOK like a tapeworm either. Hopefully. Not with Char's gene's anyway. But maybe Char's grandfather looked like a tapeworm.
Anyway, it was FINALLY obvious she was going to have a baby. She hadn't had her period in three months. But if only she could have gotten those little things that tell you whether or not you're pregnant. It would have been so much easier. Might have even gotten her out of sewing. And dancing. And greeting.
And the sex. Not that it was BAD. It was just boring. Anyway, she was going to have a baby. FINALLY! This was the whole point anyway. Hopefully it was a girl. That would show those stupid pompous men that girls could rule the whole kingdom too. MUHAHA!
Now, what about names? Tapeworm? If the kid looked like most little kids when they're babies, then it sure would LOOK like a tapeworm. But how would Princess Tapeworm sound? Not very princessy. PERFECT!
Char suddenly came in. 'Ah ha!' Ella thought, 'Perfect timing!'
"CHAR! You know for the baby? I have the perfect name!" She closed her eyes to be dramatic. "Princess Tapeworm!"
Char was totally. Ella opened one eye to glance out to see how excited he was. How surprised she was when she saw he was staring at her in horror.
"What's wrong Char?" she asked.
"There's a bug on the wall!" he cried and covered his head.
Ella screamed and ran out of the room. After she called the medieval police and they got rid of the bug, she dragged Char into the room and started over. "Char! You know for the baby? I have the perfect name!" She closed her eyes to be dramatic. "Princess Tapeworm!"
"Wowzerz!" he gasped. "That is beautiful!" he began to sob and the royal handkerchief maidens had to come and bring him a towel.
Ella cackled evilly for a second and everyone turned to start at her strangely. "What?" she asked innocently. "I didn't cackle evilly for a second, so why are you staring?"
Everyone rolled their eyes and walked away, except for Char, who was still crying.
"Char, you can stop crying."
Char looked up. "Oh. Well, it was about time!"
"Yea. Let's go to the royal faerie station and order some fairies for the huge thing that I forgot the name of. You know, when the girl gets a spouse, and at first refuses to marry the guy, but then without knowing it's the same guy, falls in love with him anyway. OUR daughter isn't going to live a life like that, but we still need the fairies."
"Ok!" So Char and Ella walk out of the perfect room, perfect hand in perfect hand, and they each sigh a perfect sigh for a perfect to be perfect baby.
After Ella has the baby, she dies. Poor Princess Tapeworm! Since she was born perfect, she must be like every other perfect person in such stories, so Ella had to die. But later people began to say that Ella was alive, but they were all crazy Bahamas people, so no one believed them.
Anyway, after Princess Tapeworm's not so perfect, yet perfect for this story delivery, Char cries a little and then take her to that ceremony that Ella never found out the name of. Princess Tapeworm was unknowingly given to some other perfect baby to be married as soon as they could. Well, as soon as their perfect parents could, anyway.
So as Princess Tapeworm grew she was a perfect prefect purple princess. Except for the fact she was not purple. But Princess Tapeworm had ONE fault. GASP! She was allergic-it hurts to say this about such a perfect person as Princess Tapeworm, but she was-gasp- allergic to.. TAPEWORMS!
SO it's a good thing that she didn't like with her perfect mother's imperfect stepmother and her perfect mother's imperfect stepsisters. They loved to have swimming pools full of tapeworms because they said it was good luck to have one growing inside of you. Somehow.
So Princess Tapeworm was very happy in the perfect castle, being the perfect daughter..UNTIL!
Until one day she found out that she was going to be married to Prince Bob. He was perfect too, except for the fact that had an allergy to sponges. They were a perfect couple, but Princess Tapeworm, being a perfect defender of freedom, didn't want to be a perfect wife for the perfect prince, who would probably also be the perfect husband and the perfect king. So she ran away and somehow survived without ruining her perfect shoes and her perfect dress and her perfect hair.
There she met a man. He said his name was Bob. "Woa!" she gasped. "That's the name of the perfect man I'm supposed to perfectly marry! My name's Tapeworm!"
"WHOA! That is soooo denied. The perfect girl I'm supposed to marry is called Tapeworm! Whoa, that is so cool!"
"Wow! Since you are obviously perfect enough for me to fall in love with you, I'm going to kiss you."
"Ok, and you obvious perfect enough to be a perfect replacement for the perfect Princess Tapeworm. So you can give me the perfect kiss, but it has to be perfect!"
So Princess Tapeworm perfectly kisses the perfect Bob. Then they break away and do a voodoo dance. "UuuuHhhhhHhhKuuuh!"
Attracted by the perfect noise of the perfect couple, a fairy that was at the ceremony thing that Ella never found the name of saw them dancing. SO she was flying perfectly straight to the castle of the very evil Lockturn.
After telling the very evil Lockturn of the location of the perfect couple doing to the perfect voodoo dance, the very evil Lockturn cackles very evilly. "What do you want to be repaid with, my very evil helper?"
The fairy, whose name was Kooa laughed. "My drug dealer stopped giving me drugs after he found out I was a fairy. Give me your druggie bag!"
The very evil Lockturn looks around nervously. "Druggie bag.Uh, I, uh, don't know what you are talking about very evilly.he..he.."
Kooa lunges very evilly at the very evil Lockturn. She grabs the bag from the very evil grip of the very evil Lockturn. Then next few days the very evil Lockturn came down hard. But then he found some very evil drugs. THEN he went on his very evil way to get the perfect couple.
When he very evilly found them, they were still dancing and singing very perfectly. So the very evil Lockturn packed them very evilly onto a very evil donkey's back and rode on his evil way back to the very evil castle of the very evil Lockturn.
The perfect couple shivered perfectly and pleaded perfectly with the very evil Lockturn. But the very evil Lockturn very evilly turned down everything they perfectly said.
As soon as the very evil Lockturn got to his very evil castle, he pushed the perfect couple very evilly into a very evil dungeon and locked himself into his very evil room. The perfect couple cried perfectly. The very evil Lockturn stuck a very evil needle into his very evil arm and very evilly OD'ed. So the perfect couple were stuck perfectly into the very evil dungeon of the former very evil Lockturn. But the magical mice heard that the perfect couple were in perfect trouble so they made a magical plan to help the perfect couple get out of the very evil dungeon of the former very evil Lockturn.
Finally the magical mice had a magical plan. They used a magical magic spell on the very evil door of the very evil dungeon of the former very evil Lockturn. Finally the very evil door of the very evil dungeon of the former very evil Lockturn opened very evilly. The perfect couple stepped out and thanked the magical mice perfectly.
The perfect couple ran out of the very evil castle of the former very evil Lockturn with meeting a single very evil helper of the former very evil Lockturn. Soon they found some perfect horses by a stream and jumped on the perfect horses. Princess Tapeworm knew how to ride perfectly of coarse!
Finally the perfect couple reached the perfect Princess Tapeworm's perfect kingdom [it was closer]. Then the perfect couple were perfectly told that they had always been made for each other, perfectly.
SO the perfect couple had a perfect wedding and lived perfectly forever and ever until people from the future were tired of the perfect couple.