A Friend From the Past
By: Alys
E-Mail: mazzei@isoc.net,
Rating: G-PG
Part: 5
"Why am I hiding from her?" he asked himself as he watched
her from a distance looking for him.
"Because you're confused."
"Because you know what you are about to do to her."
"Because you know if you see her now you will say what you
have to say sooner."
"Because if you see her now, you might not."
"Because if you want to protect your heart."
"Because you love her."
Voices. They were always there. They had been there every
time he decided something. He hated them. They always
knew, and said the truth. He always heard them. But now he
heard them and it hurt. Every one of them knew what he was
going to do. Every one of them hated him. Hated him with a
passion.
Floating down a hallway, he leaned against a doorframe and
thought about what he was going to say. Not knowing how
long he had been standing there, he heard footsteps coming
down the hall. Looking up, he saw Serena rush past him.
She stopped suddenly. She had sensed him. He knew it. She
always seemed to know when he was around. Turning, she
looked at him. Her eyes showed how much her heart hurt. He
could see that she was in pain, pain from her soul.
"Darien. I-I was looking for you. Where did you go
yesterday?" asked Serena in the barest of whispers. He
looked at her. He was going to crack. He knew it. If he
stared into her blue eyes any longer he knew he would
change his mind.
"Serena. This is the last time we will ever meet. It has
been fun, but this game must end, and I am ending it now.
It has gone to far, and I am must stop it. This was not
supposed to happen. It was all in fun. I never should have
even said hello.
Goodbye Serena. Shall we never meet again," and with that
he faded away, hating himself more then anyone could ever
hate him. At least he hoped that Serena did not hate him
more. She should. He knew it. He didn't know why he had
done what he did. Was he really trying to protect his
heart? He knew that he had never felt close to anyone
before. But she was so different. Her smile broke through
to him. It broke down walls that he had built over the
years to protect him from being alone.
Coming through a wall, He almost floated right through Jen
and her friends.
"Yeah, and then I ran right into Memory. I swear I have
never seen her cry the way she did. I told her the truth.
That no one would ever be her friend, and Darien was only
joking around with her. He just convinced her that he was
a friend, and then he ditched her. I knew that was going
to happen. And the look on her face proved it. She knew he
had left, left for good. Now maybe I get a hold of him."
"Jen," said Shana, "Don't you think it was a little much?
I mean that was a little harsh."
"Harsh or not it was the truth. The Darien never wanted to
be her friend, and he knew he would break her heart."
"You got to wonder though," said Kevin silently, "How many
more times he can handle heart break before she just gives
up. And you never know what one will do if they have given
up on the world."
He didn't wait to hear anymore. Turning around he headed
straight back to where he had left Serena. Upon reaching
the spot, he saw that she wasn't there. Looking around for
her, he noticed that the wall at the end of the hall had
been moved. He knew that there were many passages in the
house that no one knew about. Serena must have found one.
Heading to the end of the hall, he entered the passage,
and headed up the stairs. The door at the top was open,
and there he saw her. Looking over the edge of the small
railing the surrounded to roof. She was talking to
herself. Slowly coming up behind her, he could hear her
talking to herself.
"It's so peaceful. It's so perfect. Why can't my life be
like that? Why can't things stay good? Why am I cursed to
be alone? Every time I think I have found somewhere to fit
in, somewhere where I can trust things will be ok, some
one I can believe in, every time I do the fates see it,
and it ends. Why does my happiness always end? Why does
someone always see fit to end it for me? Always someone
must end the life I found," were words that escaped her
mouth before tears started to fall, as she looked over the
railing.
"I think this time," she whispered looking over the
railing again, "I think this time I will end my life for
me."
"End her life for herself?" the thought screamed inside
his head, as the world seemed to slow. Slowly Serena
pushed herself up and over the railing.
"Serena!" shouted Darien, "No! Don't I'm sorry! Please
don't!" he launched himself towards her.
Turning she saw him. But it was not soon enough, for her
hand slipped, and so did she.
Darien's body acted without even being told to. Reaching
down, he grabbed for the first thing he could reach. Her
hand.
"Serena! I got you!" he shouted as he tightened his grip
anymore. He looked down at her, into eyes of the bright
sky blue so usually filled with trust. They were filled
with hate.
Not stopping, Darien pulled her back up to the roof,
thanking the spirits that he had been able to become solid
in this time of need.
Once back on the roof, Darien looked at her in disbelief
over what she had just done.
"Serena! What in the hell were you thinking? What would
you have done if I hadn't been there? You would have
killed yourself! How could you be so careless?"
"Why do you care?" came a low voice. "Why do you care!? I
don't mean anything to you! Why do you care what I do? And
why did you stop me?" she was yelling now. He knew he
deserved it. He deserved everything she said to him. His
heart hurt from the pain he felt from abonding her. He
deserved a fate that could never be given to him.
"Why did I stop her?" suddenly sprang forth in his head.
"She wanted to jump?"
"Why did I stop you?" he yelled at her. "Did you want to
jump?"
"Yes! Yes!" she shouted as tears ran down her face. "Yes!
I wanted it to end. I wanted the pain to end! I hate it,
this pain in my heart. I want it to end. But you wouldn't
know what I am talking about would you? You're just a
stupid ghost. What would you know about pain like this?"
she said as tears ran down her face even faster, and a
hand covered her heart.
"Serena, you call me a ghost, one who does not know pain.
But, a ghost is a soul without a body and it is the soul
the hurts. Not the heart, and the pain I felt when I
thought that I was going to lose you did hurt. It hurt my
soul, and it hurt my heart. The heart you claim I do not
have."
If he could have cried he would have. Sinking down to his
knees, he wished tears would come. He wished with all his
heart, that tears would come and help ease his pain, and
his guilt. He had driven his one friend, his one and only
friend to almost taking her own life, all because he was
afraid, all because he was afraid of being hurt by her.
But instead he had hurt himself.
Feeling the warmth of someone close to him, he opened his
eyes to see the blue of the summer sky staring back at
him.
"Why?" whispered a soft voice. "Why did you push me away?"
"Because, because…" he wanted to answer her, but he was
afraid. He didn't want rejection. He didn't want to go
back to being along.
"Because I love you."
End Part 5
By: Alys
E-Mail: mazzei@isoc.net,
Rating: G-PG
Part: 5
"Why am I hiding from her?" he asked himself as he watched
her from a distance looking for him.
"Because you're confused."
"Because you know what you are about to do to her."
"Because you know if you see her now you will say what you
have to say sooner."
"Because if you see her now, you might not."
"Because if you want to protect your heart."
"Because you love her."
Voices. They were always there. They had been there every
time he decided something. He hated them. They always
knew, and said the truth. He always heard them. But now he
heard them and it hurt. Every one of them knew what he was
going to do. Every one of them hated him. Hated him with a
passion.
Floating down a hallway, he leaned against a doorframe and
thought about what he was going to say. Not knowing how
long he had been standing there, he heard footsteps coming
down the hall. Looking up, he saw Serena rush past him.
She stopped suddenly. She had sensed him. He knew it. She
always seemed to know when he was around. Turning, she
looked at him. Her eyes showed how much her heart hurt. He
could see that she was in pain, pain from her soul.
"Darien. I-I was looking for you. Where did you go
yesterday?" asked Serena in the barest of whispers. He
looked at her. He was going to crack. He knew it. If he
stared into her blue eyes any longer he knew he would
change his mind.
"Serena. This is the last time we will ever meet. It has
been fun, but this game must end, and I am ending it now.
It has gone to far, and I am must stop it. This was not
supposed to happen. It was all in fun. I never should have
even said hello.
Goodbye Serena. Shall we never meet again," and with that
he faded away, hating himself more then anyone could ever
hate him. At least he hoped that Serena did not hate him
more. She should. He knew it. He didn't know why he had
done what he did. Was he really trying to protect his
heart? He knew that he had never felt close to anyone
before. But she was so different. Her smile broke through
to him. It broke down walls that he had built over the
years to protect him from being alone.
Coming through a wall, He almost floated right through Jen
and her friends.
"Yeah, and then I ran right into Memory. I swear I have
never seen her cry the way she did. I told her the truth.
That no one would ever be her friend, and Darien was only
joking around with her. He just convinced her that he was
a friend, and then he ditched her. I knew that was going
to happen. And the look on her face proved it. She knew he
had left, left for good. Now maybe I get a hold of him."
"Jen," said Shana, "Don't you think it was a little much?
I mean that was a little harsh."
"Harsh or not it was the truth. The Darien never wanted to
be her friend, and he knew he would break her heart."
"You got to wonder though," said Kevin silently, "How many
more times he can handle heart break before she just gives
up. And you never know what one will do if they have given
up on the world."
He didn't wait to hear anymore. Turning around he headed
straight back to where he had left Serena. Upon reaching
the spot, he saw that she wasn't there. Looking around for
her, he noticed that the wall at the end of the hall had
been moved. He knew that there were many passages in the
house that no one knew about. Serena must have found one.
Heading to the end of the hall, he entered the passage,
and headed up the stairs. The door at the top was open,
and there he saw her. Looking over the edge of the small
railing the surrounded to roof. She was talking to
herself. Slowly coming up behind her, he could hear her
talking to herself.
"It's so peaceful. It's so perfect. Why can't my life be
like that? Why can't things stay good? Why am I cursed to
be alone? Every time I think I have found somewhere to fit
in, somewhere where I can trust things will be ok, some
one I can believe in, every time I do the fates see it,
and it ends. Why does my happiness always end? Why does
someone always see fit to end it for me? Always someone
must end the life I found," were words that escaped her
mouth before tears started to fall, as she looked over the
railing.
"I think this time," she whispered looking over the
railing again, "I think this time I will end my life for
me."
"End her life for herself?" the thought screamed inside
his head, as the world seemed to slow. Slowly Serena
pushed herself up and over the railing.
"Serena!" shouted Darien, "No! Don't I'm sorry! Please
don't!" he launched himself towards her.
Turning she saw him. But it was not soon enough, for her
hand slipped, and so did she.
Darien's body acted without even being told to. Reaching
down, he grabbed for the first thing he could reach. Her
hand.
"Serena! I got you!" he shouted as he tightened his grip
anymore. He looked down at her, into eyes of the bright
sky blue so usually filled with trust. They were filled
with hate.
Not stopping, Darien pulled her back up to the roof,
thanking the spirits that he had been able to become solid
in this time of need.
Once back on the roof, Darien looked at her in disbelief
over what she had just done.
"Serena! What in the hell were you thinking? What would
you have done if I hadn't been there? You would have
killed yourself! How could you be so careless?"
"Why do you care?" came a low voice. "Why do you care!? I
don't mean anything to you! Why do you care what I do? And
why did you stop me?" she was yelling now. He knew he
deserved it. He deserved everything she said to him. His
heart hurt from the pain he felt from abonding her. He
deserved a fate that could never be given to him.
"Why did I stop her?" suddenly sprang forth in his head.
"She wanted to jump?"
"Why did I stop you?" he yelled at her. "Did you want to
jump?"
"Yes! Yes!" she shouted as tears ran down her face. "Yes!
I wanted it to end. I wanted the pain to end! I hate it,
this pain in my heart. I want it to end. But you wouldn't
know what I am talking about would you? You're just a
stupid ghost. What would you know about pain like this?"
she said as tears ran down her face even faster, and a
hand covered her heart.
"Serena, you call me a ghost, one who does not know pain.
But, a ghost is a soul without a body and it is the soul
the hurts. Not the heart, and the pain I felt when I
thought that I was going to lose you did hurt. It hurt my
soul, and it hurt my heart. The heart you claim I do not
have."
If he could have cried he would have. Sinking down to his
knees, he wished tears would come. He wished with all his
heart, that tears would come and help ease his pain, and
his guilt. He had driven his one friend, his one and only
friend to almost taking her own life, all because he was
afraid, all because he was afraid of being hurt by her.
But instead he had hurt himself.
Feeling the warmth of someone close to him, he opened his
eyes to see the blue of the summer sky staring back at
him.
"Why?" whispered a soft voice. "Why did you push me away?"
"Because, because…" he wanted to answer her, but he was
afraid. He didn't want rejection. He didn't want to go
back to being along.
"Because I love you."
End Part 5