Title: Inside Down, Upside Out

Author: Becka

Chapter 5: Love at First Sight

o

Xander cleared his throat, holding the letter that had arrived by owl that morning. Professor Dumbledore, the man Xander had read was the Headmaster of Hogwarts, had done just as Hagrid said he would. The invitation in his hands excited and worried him at the same time.

After his time in the mansion, he'd finally come up with a way to navigate around the house. It wasn't foolproof, and he still got lost every so often, but for the most part he could find the room he wanted in about five minutes.

The dark-haired man stood outside of the library and took a deep breath. He opened the doors.

Giles continued to read. Willow glanced up at him, and the redhead grinned, "Hey, Xan! Guess what!"

"What?" he asked, knowing full well the type of danger he was in when Willow smiled at him like that.

"Well," she took a deep breath and launched into full babble-mode, "We've found this great spell that might fix your eye, but it's going to take, like, a week to prepare, and the books are pretty clear that the recipient of the spell can't be _anywhere_ near the spell or the spell casters until the time of the ritual, so Giles and I were wondering if you'd mind staying at your mansion, I mean, the house that the Council provided for you, until we're ready to try the spell!"

It took Xander a few moments to fully process everything she'd said. Sometimes Willow-babble was too much, even for him. Not for the first time, he wondered if she was descended from some sort of demon that didn't need to breathe.

"So," he replied finally, "basically you want me out of the mansion for about a week."

"Yup!" she responded, clearly believing that he would be willing to do anything to get his eye back.

Giles' nose hadn't moved from the book throughout the conversation. Xander wondered if the older man even knew he was there. For people so hell bent on helping him, would it be too much if they tried to think about his feelings for once? What Willow was asking him, when it all boiled down, was to isolate himself from the only two people he really knew in all of England.

Hell, if Dumbledore hadn't invited him to Hogwarts, he'd be a recluse!

Sighing, he said, "Does it really matter where I stay, so long as it's not here?"

Looking puzzled, Willow responded, "Um... well... not really. Was there someplace you wanted to go?"

"Yeah," he said, turning to walk out the door. "I'm looking at a school here. I'll visit them."

"Oh, okay!" The redhead went back to her work cheerfully.

o

The first thing Xander noticed about Hogwarts was the building itself. It was _beautiful_. From a carpenter's point of view, he could appreciate the work and love that had gone into creating the building, and as Hagrid led him through the corridors, he paused and laid his hands against the ancient, stone wall.

"You're gorgeous," he whispered, ignoring Hagrid's impatience and the curious stares he got from passing students. "I mean it - you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Whoever made you, beauty, loved you very much. I can tell."

The wall shifted a little, and Xander stepped back, blinking. /Huh,/ he thought, as the wall moved marginally from side to side. The grating noise the floor made when the stones scraped against one another sounded suspiciously like... purring.

Delighted, he placed his hand on the wall again, whispering sweet nothings to it. He told the building how its architecture was pure poetry, its arches more lovely than those of any building he'd ever seen before. He said that the building's smooth marble and stone surface was full of life, that the delicate windows were like the work of the Master Artist, Da Vinci, the spiraling staircases were like the haunting tunes of Mozart. He laughed, his hands caressing the stone like one would touch a priceless piece of art, or perhaps a lover. He was reverent, respectful, and more than just a little charming.

Hagrid was getting very impatient, and he said, "Yeh done yet, Xander?"

"Don't mind him, beauty," Xander whispered conspiritorially. "I have to see Dumbledore, now, but when I'm done, I'll come and see you again." With that, he gently kissed the wall.

Every window in the place flew open and the sound of the breeze, reminiscent of a soft sigh, filled the classrooms.

After only ten minutes in Hogwarts, Xander Harris could boast of something that no one else had ever accomplished. After a mere ten minutes, the building was quite thoroughly and totally smitten.

o

Professor Albus Dumbledore blinked when the door to his office opened of its own accord. He had been expecting Xander Harris, but that particular door was under his own spell and should not open unless he ordered it to.

The room's most comfortable chair, Dumbledore's own, tilted from beneath him and dumped him on the floor. It slid up next to Xander and bumped him insistently in the leg until he finally sat down.

The young man rubbed his head and said, "Um. Sorry about your chair."

"No problem at all, Alexander." Dumbledore fetched the chair reserved for visitors and gingerly sat on it.

"I ain't never seen anythin' like it, Professor," Hagrid exclaimed, and he explained that instead of having to go to the stairway to get to the second floor, the stairway had come to _them_.

"Very interesting. You do seem to inspire loyalty, don't you," Albus said finally, smiling as he stroked a hand through his beard.

Xander flushed and looked at the floor.

"At any rate, Hagrid told me what happened with Lucius Malfoy's wand, and I thought it would be only right to invite you to Hogwarts for a visit. Perhaps you would even be interested in attending a set of our classes in your time here. Would you agree to visiting us for perhaps a week?" Dumbledore's smile showed he knew a lot more than Xander originally thought.

"I'd love to," the dark-haired man said with a smile.

"Excellent. Settle yourself in tonight, and tomorrow you can experience your first day of classes."

o

The next day was a long one for Xander. He was _way_ too old to be a student there, and it rather bothered him how everyone _stared_ at him. Just because he was old and had an eye-patch didn't mean he was some sort of freak. On the plus side though, he'd seen Snape around the castle and had continued throwing innuendoes at the man. Each time, Snape blushed bright red then made an excuse to leave.

He replayed one of the exchanges in his head with a grin.

/Snape stared at him after a particularly flirtatious comment and muttered, "You're asking for trouble, Alexander."

"Don't spank me too hard," Xander laughed, "I bruise easily."

The older man blushed, spluttered, and walked away. /

That had made Xander feel a little bit better.

Defense Against the Dark Arts had been his first class. It sounded simple enough, until of course the Professor, the man Xander had seen with Hagrid, had decided to test them with a boggart - a creature that supposedly turned itself into whatever a person feared most. They were supposed to wave their wands at it and mumble some sort of gibberish, but when it had been his turn and the boggart had transformed itself into a vampire wearing Xander's _own_ face, he'd just panicked and staked it.

_That_ had freaked the students out, and he'd gotten all sorts of nasty goo all over him. Then Moody had asked him what he'd do if confronted by other sorts of demons, and he'd responded honestly, "Stake it, cut its head off with an axe, burn it alive, and if it's still coming, make a strategic retreat until I can think of a better plan."

Moody had stared at him and asked, "Does that usually work?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

His second class hadn't gone much better. Hagrid taught Care of Magical Creatures and had tried to tell him that all of the creatures introduced to the class were perfectly harmless. Xander had asked if it was okay if he killed them. Stunned, Hagrid answered, "No."

"In that case," Xander responded, sounded slightly hysterical, "I will _not_ be going anywhere near those... _things_." And that had been that.

Transfiguration, his third class, had been a close call. First, the teacher, Professor McGonagall, had insisted he change one of the chairs into a hamster, and he'd adamantly refused, saying he would never do _anything_ to change anything that was a part of Hogwarts. The windows had blown open again, and one of the curtains had playfully reached over to caress his face.

Again, he'd managed to freak the class out.

Then the Professor suggested he try something more advanced and change his own body into that of an animal. That had prompted him to take a step away from her and shake his head fiercely from side-to-side. When she'd asked why he refused, he'd explained, "Look, lady, I've been possessed a couple of times and I don't feel like pressing my luck and taking on the physical form, too."

He'd been excluded from the rest of the class' activities.

By the time his fourth class had rolled around, Xander was walking a fine line. Divinations hadn't been all that bad, and the class had actually gotten a kick out of his questions: "What's the value of my Star Trek plate collection going to be in ten years? Oh! Will I win the lottery? Hey, what's for lunch next Tuesday?"

Madame Trelawney had given him the evil eye, told him he should take his inner eye more seriously - he'd laughed at that - and predicted his impending doom and something about "the grim."

There was a short break between classes, and surprisingly Xander ran into Snape. Before he knew it, the older man had grabbed him by the hand and dragged him to the nearest closet.

Severus waved a hand at the door, murmuring a few words that Xander actually recognized - a simple locking spell. The half-crazed look in the other man's eyes should have warned him, and before Xander knew what was happening, Snape was kissing him. He pulled back for a moment, panting.

"Damn your mouth," Severus said, tangling his fingers in Xander's hair, and he kissed him again.

"Damn my mouth," Xander agreed as he helped the other man slip out of his robe. Softly, teasing, he kissed a path down the older man's chest, his tongue darting out when he reached Severus' thigh.

"God," Snape muttered, his hands moving to guide the younger man. And then he didn't say anything, because he couldn't find the will to breathe.

o

Snape pulled his robe back on, and Xander watched him with a smile.

The smile was wiped cleanly off his face when the older man dropped a heavy pouch on the floor. It clinked when Xander picked it up, and he blinked stupidly. Somehow he _knew_ that if he took the time to count it, he'd find two hundred Galleons.

"So, that's it?" he asked bitterly.

"Not quite, Alexander. You still have one more class to attend."

"What's that?"

"Potions. Oh," he paused, "While in class, please, refer to me as Professor. I don't want you to set a bad example for the students."

Snape turned on his heel and left in a swirl of black robes, his wry smile etched in Xander's mind. The dark-haired man bit his lip, forcing the tears away. His eye narrowed abruptly.

/If that's the way Snape wants to play, that's just _fine_ by me./

o