Part 5
Daniel, don't die. Since the day we got together I knew that you were the one that I would be spending the rest of my life with. I expected to grow old together. You are too young to die.
"Colonel, go and get some food and have a shower, please, while I check on Daniel?" Janet said, trying to point me out of her infirmary.
"No, I can't leave him," I protest, glaring at her for even considering trying to get rid of me.
"Colonel that look doesn't work on me and you can't be in the room while I check on him anyway. So if you won't go and get some food at least wait outside," Janet firmly chastised me, pointing me towards the door.
I decide there is no point arguing with her so I go and stand outside his room, trying to see what was going on inside.
Why won't you wake up Danny? You've been in a coma for three weeks and each day of that time has been a living hell. If you die and leave me by myself, I don't think I can go on. When Charlie died you were the one that made life worth living again. If you're not there what's left to live for?
God, it's been nearly three hours since the Doc kicked me out. What's going on in there?
'Colonel, why don't you take a seat while I gather the rest of SG-1 and General Hammond to the infirmary?' Janet requests as she comes out of Daniel's room.
I hate it when people tell you that. It always means bad news, and this is no different, I can tell by the look on the Doc's face. Oh, God. Please don't let him die.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Half an hour later General Hammond and the rest of SG-1 were gathered in Janet's office waiting to hear the news on Daniel's current medical status.
Once everyone is seated Janet begins her explanation of Daniel's condition.
"Daniel's been through a very traumatic experience. His latest test results indicate that there is currently no brain activity. While technically Daniel is still alive, without the aid of the life support systems he is currently connected to, I'm afraid he would be dead."
"Doctor, is there anything that can be done for Doctor Jackson?" Hammond questions the doctor's diagnosis.
"I'm afraid not, Sir. Without the aid of the life support systems Daniel will die. The reason I'm telling you all this now is I thought it would give you the chance to say goodbye to him before the life support is turned off. If, after that is done, he continues to breathe on his own we will take it from there. Basically Sir, nothing short of a miracle is going to bring Daniel back to us," Janet informs us, trying to keep her tone and manner as professional as possible given the circumstances.
"Very well, Doctor, keep me apprised. I have some calls to make. Let me know if there is any change in his condition," General Hammond orders, rising from his chair and leaving the overcrowded office.
"Don't you need permission from his next of kin to turn off the life support?" Sam asks, trying to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling.
"Yes, I do. Colonel O'Neill is his next of kin," Janet answers her.
"Can we go in and see him?" Sam asks, losing the battle with her tears.
"Yes, you and Teal'c can go and see him now while I talk to the Colonel," she says and silently ushers Teal'c and Carter out of her office.
I can't believe this is happening. He really is going to die this time. There isn't going to be any miracle cure this time. What's worse is this time I have to give the word that will signal the end of my world. Without Daniel in my life, living won't mean a damn thing. If I tell Janet to flick that switch and turn that machine off how am I ever going to continue living? We were meant to be starting a life together, the two of us for the rest of our lives. To death do us part, and all that stuff. Now.now we will never get that. Never get the happily-ever-afters.
"Colonel, I need you to sign this form saying you give your permission to turn off the life support system," Janet interrupts me from my silent musings.
"How can you be so calm about this? Daniel is going to die and you expect me to sign a form to let you kill him?" I ask her in disbelief.
"Colonel.Jack, It needs to be done. Look, I don't want this anymore than you do but if it's not done he will be, for all intents and purposes, a vegetable for the rest of his life and in the meantime you are just causing yourself more grief by not letting him go. He is in no pain, Jack. He is clinically dead; the only thing keeping him breathing is that machine. By doing this you are only going to cause yourself more pain. Let him go Jack. Please!" Janet pleads with me, trying to convince me to turn the life support off.
"I can't live without him Janet! If I turn that machine off I'll die. I need him like I need air. I.I.just give me some time - let me think about it, please. It's a lot to ask of me," I reply, all the while fighting away the tears threatening to fall down my face, but failing as a single tear escapes it's prison to fall down my cheek.
"Of course. But Jack, don't take too long, for both your sakes," she says as I leave her office to return to my bedside vigil.
I enter the room Daniel is in, checking to see if there is anyone else in there. There isn't so I make my way across the room to sit on the edge of his bed, getting as close to him as I could. Eventually I curl up on the bed beside Daniel, falling into a deep restless sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Colonel, wake up," I hear the petite doctor beside me and she roughly jerks me awake.
"Yes," I say quickly before I have a chance to change my mind.
"Yes? Yes what?" she asks.
"Yes, you can turn the life support system off, on the condition that I.that I am the one that actually switches the machine off," I tell her, leaving no room for argument.
"Okay. I'll agree to that. You can, ah, you can do it whenever your ready, Sir."
"Okay. Can you make sure there are no visitors today?" I cautiously ask her. "I want to be by myself with him when I, you know, switch it off."
"I can do that. I'll make this room off limits to everyone today," Janet replies and grasps my shoulder, squeezing it firmly in a show of support.
"Thanks, Doc," I reply as Janet leaves the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~
God, Daniel. I love you so much. Please forgive me but Janet is right. I have to turn this machine off, even if doing so will kill me as well as you.
I quickly leaned over his body placing a firm but tender kiss onto his lips, before leaning across and switching off all the machines he was attached to. As soon as that was done I fell apart, crying while holding my beautiful lover to my body as I willed myself to die. Eventually I fell asleep holding him firmly against my chest, vowing never to let go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake suddenly at a huge commotion of noise coming from just outside the infirmary. I had barely nodded off when everyone came crashing into Daniel's room with Jacob Carter behind them.
If General Hammond was surprised to find me in bed with Daniel he didn't show it.
"Colonel O'Neill, how long ago did you turn off the life support?" Janet asks anxiously.
I think for a second. How long had I been asleep? "About half an hour ago, I think. Why? What's all this about? Janet you said you would keep this room off limits?" I half asked half accused her.
"Colonel, I ordered her to let us in. Selmac believes she can heal Doctor Jackson with the Goa'uld healing device," General Hammond responds quickly and indicates for Teal'c to remove me from Daniel's bed.
"Please, I want everyone to leave while this is done," Selmac orders as she places the Goa'uld healing device onto her hand.
"I'm not leaving," I reply just as quickly and break from Teal'c's grasp after he had forcibly removed me from the bed.
"Very well, but everyone else must leave."
After everyone else leaves the room, Selmac quickly gets to work repairing the damaged tissue and reactivating the dead brain tissue. After what seemed like several hours of using the healing device, Selmac had healed Daniel.
"Why isn't he awake?" I ask, quickly fearing the worst.
"It will take several more hours before he has enough strength to regain consciousness," Before he left the room Selmac lowered his head and allowed Jacob to speak, 'He'll be okay, Jack' Jacob said as he exited Daniel's room leaving Danny and me alone.
Oh, please live Daniel, please. You died on me again you sonofabitch. Please wake up so that I know you're all right. I whisper quietly to him words of love and encouragement, bringing his fingers to my lips to place feather light kisses on them.
"Jack.where am I? What happened?" I hear the groggy voice question me and its owner gently squeezing my hand.
"Daniel? Oh, God, you're alive! I thought I'd lost you for good this time. You got hit by a staff blast and you're in the infirmary," I tell him and let the tears of relief and happiness fall freely down my face.
Daniel look's up at me through half lidded eye's saying in a soft, dry, voice "Am I all right, Jack?" "Yes, Daniel, you're okay. Thanks to the very timely arrival of a certain snake friend of ours, and his toys." I reply adding in a hint of sarcasm to lighten the mood. "I wouldn't have left you alone, Jack" Daniel say's sincerely looking up at me through his blue eyes.
"I love you, Jack," Daniel tells me, reassuring me.
"I love you too, Danny," I reply, leaning in and giving him a thorough kiss as the door opens and everyone enters the room. There are sounds of joy and relief coming from the door when they see that Daniel is alive, and then an embarrassed silence and averted eyes when they see his current position. I ignore them.
"I love you Daniel. And never do that to me again!" I say, laughing lightly with relief as I watch him quickly drift off into a peaceful sleep.
If I knew it was our last time
I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly,
and pray the Lord your soul to keep.
If I knew it was our last time
I'd see you out the door,
We'd hug and kiss,
and I'd call you back for more.
If I knew it was our last time,
I'd hear your voice in praise,
I'd record each action and each word,
to play them back day by day.
If I knew it was our last time,
I'd spend a moment or two
to stop and say "I Love You",
not assuming you know that I do.
If I knew it was our last time,
I'd be there to share your day.....
presuming I'd have many more,
so I let this one slip away.
For surely there's tomorrow
to make up for the oversight,
we always get a second chance
to make everything right.
There will always be another day
to say our "I Love You's",
and surely there's another chance
to say "What can I do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say "I Love You ! ",
and hope we don't forget.
Tomorrow is not promised
to young and old alike,
today may be that last chance
I can hold that loved one tight.
If your waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you could regret the day,
you didn't take that extra time,
for a smile, a hug, a kiss,
and you were too busy
to grant their one last wish.
So, hold your loved one close today
and whisper in their ear,
tell them how you love them
that you'll always hold them dear.
Take time to say "I'm sorry",
"forgive me", "thank you",
"it's OK",
and if tomorrow never comes
there's no regret about today.
The End.
Authors Notes: Thank you all for reading this fic and I'm glad you got to the end. This is my first slash fic that I have done so I hope you all enjoy it. And I suck at endings so don't kill me. Well, that's all I have to say except I would really appreciate any feedback you could give me. Thanx, Aussie Mel.
Credits for Songs and poetry used All of these songs and poetry have been used without permission.
"He is More Than a Hero" by Sappho (translated by Mary Barnard)
"My Endless Love" by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross
"The Keeper Of The Stars" Tracy Byrd
"Love's Philosophy" by Percy Bysshe Shelley
"You Had Me From Hello" By Kenny Chesney
"If Tomorrow Never Comes" By Unknown Author
Daniel, don't die. Since the day we got together I knew that you were the one that I would be spending the rest of my life with. I expected to grow old together. You are too young to die.
"Colonel, go and get some food and have a shower, please, while I check on Daniel?" Janet said, trying to point me out of her infirmary.
"No, I can't leave him," I protest, glaring at her for even considering trying to get rid of me.
"Colonel that look doesn't work on me and you can't be in the room while I check on him anyway. So if you won't go and get some food at least wait outside," Janet firmly chastised me, pointing me towards the door.
I decide there is no point arguing with her so I go and stand outside his room, trying to see what was going on inside.
Why won't you wake up Danny? You've been in a coma for three weeks and each day of that time has been a living hell. If you die and leave me by myself, I don't think I can go on. When Charlie died you were the one that made life worth living again. If you're not there what's left to live for?
God, it's been nearly three hours since the Doc kicked me out. What's going on in there?
'Colonel, why don't you take a seat while I gather the rest of SG-1 and General Hammond to the infirmary?' Janet requests as she comes out of Daniel's room.
I hate it when people tell you that. It always means bad news, and this is no different, I can tell by the look on the Doc's face. Oh, God. Please don't let him die.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Half an hour later General Hammond and the rest of SG-1 were gathered in Janet's office waiting to hear the news on Daniel's current medical status.
Once everyone is seated Janet begins her explanation of Daniel's condition.
"Daniel's been through a very traumatic experience. His latest test results indicate that there is currently no brain activity. While technically Daniel is still alive, without the aid of the life support systems he is currently connected to, I'm afraid he would be dead."
"Doctor, is there anything that can be done for Doctor Jackson?" Hammond questions the doctor's diagnosis.
"I'm afraid not, Sir. Without the aid of the life support systems Daniel will die. The reason I'm telling you all this now is I thought it would give you the chance to say goodbye to him before the life support is turned off. If, after that is done, he continues to breathe on his own we will take it from there. Basically Sir, nothing short of a miracle is going to bring Daniel back to us," Janet informs us, trying to keep her tone and manner as professional as possible given the circumstances.
"Very well, Doctor, keep me apprised. I have some calls to make. Let me know if there is any change in his condition," General Hammond orders, rising from his chair and leaving the overcrowded office.
"Don't you need permission from his next of kin to turn off the life support?" Sam asks, trying to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling.
"Yes, I do. Colonel O'Neill is his next of kin," Janet answers her.
"Can we go in and see him?" Sam asks, losing the battle with her tears.
"Yes, you and Teal'c can go and see him now while I talk to the Colonel," she says and silently ushers Teal'c and Carter out of her office.
I can't believe this is happening. He really is going to die this time. There isn't going to be any miracle cure this time. What's worse is this time I have to give the word that will signal the end of my world. Without Daniel in my life, living won't mean a damn thing. If I tell Janet to flick that switch and turn that machine off how am I ever going to continue living? We were meant to be starting a life together, the two of us for the rest of our lives. To death do us part, and all that stuff. Now.now we will never get that. Never get the happily-ever-afters.
"Colonel, I need you to sign this form saying you give your permission to turn off the life support system," Janet interrupts me from my silent musings.
"How can you be so calm about this? Daniel is going to die and you expect me to sign a form to let you kill him?" I ask her in disbelief.
"Colonel.Jack, It needs to be done. Look, I don't want this anymore than you do but if it's not done he will be, for all intents and purposes, a vegetable for the rest of his life and in the meantime you are just causing yourself more grief by not letting him go. He is in no pain, Jack. He is clinically dead; the only thing keeping him breathing is that machine. By doing this you are only going to cause yourself more pain. Let him go Jack. Please!" Janet pleads with me, trying to convince me to turn the life support off.
"I can't live without him Janet! If I turn that machine off I'll die. I need him like I need air. I.I.just give me some time - let me think about it, please. It's a lot to ask of me," I reply, all the while fighting away the tears threatening to fall down my face, but failing as a single tear escapes it's prison to fall down my cheek.
"Of course. But Jack, don't take too long, for both your sakes," she says as I leave her office to return to my bedside vigil.
I enter the room Daniel is in, checking to see if there is anyone else in there. There isn't so I make my way across the room to sit on the edge of his bed, getting as close to him as I could. Eventually I curl up on the bed beside Daniel, falling into a deep restless sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Colonel, wake up," I hear the petite doctor beside me and she roughly jerks me awake.
"Yes," I say quickly before I have a chance to change my mind.
"Yes? Yes what?" she asks.
"Yes, you can turn the life support system off, on the condition that I.that I am the one that actually switches the machine off," I tell her, leaving no room for argument.
"Okay. I'll agree to that. You can, ah, you can do it whenever your ready, Sir."
"Okay. Can you make sure there are no visitors today?" I cautiously ask her. "I want to be by myself with him when I, you know, switch it off."
"I can do that. I'll make this room off limits to everyone today," Janet replies and grasps my shoulder, squeezing it firmly in a show of support.
"Thanks, Doc," I reply as Janet leaves the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~
God, Daniel. I love you so much. Please forgive me but Janet is right. I have to turn this machine off, even if doing so will kill me as well as you.
I quickly leaned over his body placing a firm but tender kiss onto his lips, before leaning across and switching off all the machines he was attached to. As soon as that was done I fell apart, crying while holding my beautiful lover to my body as I willed myself to die. Eventually I fell asleep holding him firmly against my chest, vowing never to let go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake suddenly at a huge commotion of noise coming from just outside the infirmary. I had barely nodded off when everyone came crashing into Daniel's room with Jacob Carter behind them.
If General Hammond was surprised to find me in bed with Daniel he didn't show it.
"Colonel O'Neill, how long ago did you turn off the life support?" Janet asks anxiously.
I think for a second. How long had I been asleep? "About half an hour ago, I think. Why? What's all this about? Janet you said you would keep this room off limits?" I half asked half accused her.
"Colonel, I ordered her to let us in. Selmac believes she can heal Doctor Jackson with the Goa'uld healing device," General Hammond responds quickly and indicates for Teal'c to remove me from Daniel's bed.
"Please, I want everyone to leave while this is done," Selmac orders as she places the Goa'uld healing device onto her hand.
"I'm not leaving," I reply just as quickly and break from Teal'c's grasp after he had forcibly removed me from the bed.
"Very well, but everyone else must leave."
After everyone else leaves the room, Selmac quickly gets to work repairing the damaged tissue and reactivating the dead brain tissue. After what seemed like several hours of using the healing device, Selmac had healed Daniel.
"Why isn't he awake?" I ask, quickly fearing the worst.
"It will take several more hours before he has enough strength to regain consciousness," Before he left the room Selmac lowered his head and allowed Jacob to speak, 'He'll be okay, Jack' Jacob said as he exited Daniel's room leaving Danny and me alone.
Oh, please live Daniel, please. You died on me again you sonofabitch. Please wake up so that I know you're all right. I whisper quietly to him words of love and encouragement, bringing his fingers to my lips to place feather light kisses on them.
"Jack.where am I? What happened?" I hear the groggy voice question me and its owner gently squeezing my hand.
"Daniel? Oh, God, you're alive! I thought I'd lost you for good this time. You got hit by a staff blast and you're in the infirmary," I tell him and let the tears of relief and happiness fall freely down my face.
Daniel look's up at me through half lidded eye's saying in a soft, dry, voice "Am I all right, Jack?" "Yes, Daniel, you're okay. Thanks to the very timely arrival of a certain snake friend of ours, and his toys." I reply adding in a hint of sarcasm to lighten the mood. "I wouldn't have left you alone, Jack" Daniel say's sincerely looking up at me through his blue eyes.
"I love you, Jack," Daniel tells me, reassuring me.
"I love you too, Danny," I reply, leaning in and giving him a thorough kiss as the door opens and everyone enters the room. There are sounds of joy and relief coming from the door when they see that Daniel is alive, and then an embarrassed silence and averted eyes when they see his current position. I ignore them.
"I love you Daniel. And never do that to me again!" I say, laughing lightly with relief as I watch him quickly drift off into a peaceful sleep.
If I knew it was our last time
I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly,
and pray the Lord your soul to keep.
If I knew it was our last time
I'd see you out the door,
We'd hug and kiss,
and I'd call you back for more.
If I knew it was our last time,
I'd hear your voice in praise,
I'd record each action and each word,
to play them back day by day.
If I knew it was our last time,
I'd spend a moment or two
to stop and say "I Love You",
not assuming you know that I do.
If I knew it was our last time,
I'd be there to share your day.....
presuming I'd have many more,
so I let this one slip away.
For surely there's tomorrow
to make up for the oversight,
we always get a second chance
to make everything right.
There will always be another day
to say our "I Love You's",
and surely there's another chance
to say "What can I do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say "I Love You ! ",
and hope we don't forget.
Tomorrow is not promised
to young and old alike,
today may be that last chance
I can hold that loved one tight.
If your waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you could regret the day,
you didn't take that extra time,
for a smile, a hug, a kiss,
and you were too busy
to grant their one last wish.
So, hold your loved one close today
and whisper in their ear,
tell them how you love them
that you'll always hold them dear.
Take time to say "I'm sorry",
"forgive me", "thank you",
"it's OK",
and if tomorrow never comes
there's no regret about today.
The End.
Authors Notes: Thank you all for reading this fic and I'm glad you got to the end. This is my first slash fic that I have done so I hope you all enjoy it. And I suck at endings so don't kill me. Well, that's all I have to say except I would really appreciate any feedback you could give me. Thanx, Aussie Mel.
Credits for Songs and poetry used All of these songs and poetry have been used without permission.
"He is More Than a Hero" by Sappho (translated by Mary Barnard)
"My Endless Love" by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross
"The Keeper Of The Stars" Tracy Byrd
"Love's Philosophy" by Percy Bysshe Shelley
"You Had Me From Hello" By Kenny Chesney
"If Tomorrow Never Comes" By Unknown Author