For all those fun disclaimers, please see the first part.

Thanks to Jen for the beta.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the lonely light of morning,

in the wound that would not heal,

it's the bitter taste of losing everything that I've held so dear

Fallen – Sarah McLachlan

I feel her hand brush lightly against my cheek and I smile. Slowly, I open my eyes to find her staring intently at me. "What?" I ask.

She shakes her head slightly. "It's nothing."

I draw her to me, molding her body to mine. I place a kiss on her forehead and run my fingers through her hair. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" I whisper against the skin of her neck.

She scoffs at my words and shifts slightly, breaking my hold. "How can you say that?"

I try to place my hand on her shoulder but she shrugs it off. There is less than an inch of space separating us, but right now it feels like miles. Sighing, I sit up, running my hand through my hair. "How can I say what?"

For a moment, she just looks at me, and then she gets up and walks toward the window. She stares out the window for a few minutes before she turns back to me. Her face is shadowed, but I can tell she's crying. "How can you say that you love me?"

I get up quickly, joining her by the window. "Syd, what's wrong? Why would you doubt that I love you?"

She leans against me and rests her head against my chest. She pulls my arms around her, holding them tight. "If you loved me, you wouldn't give up."

Instantly, I'm awake. I sit up and look around the room, surprised when I don't see the familiar furnishings of Sydney's apartment. And then I remember. I'm not at Sydney's. But I hear a voice, so soft, so familiar, that I can't help calling out to her. When the music begins, I look to my right and see the radio. It was just a voice on the radio.

I take a deep breath as I swing my legs over the side of the bed. I reach for the glass that sits on the nightstand, draining the contents in one gulp. The alcohol burns as it goes down, but I don't care.

I reach for the bottle and pour another before I get up and walk over to the window. I pull back the curtains and gaze outside. Normally, the sight of the Eiffel Tower calms me. And maybe if I were in Paris, it would. But I'm not in Paris.

I look past the famed landmark and the neon lights of the Las Vegas Strip glare back at me. I let the drapes fall back into place as I take another drink. I wander back to the bed and sit down thinking about the cab driver who brought me here. How ironic is it that when I told him to just take me to his favorite hotel, he would have to choose Paris?

I finish the contents of my glass and reach for the bottle again. What's left barely covers the bottom of the glass, so I set both back on the nightstand and get up, going over to the desk. As I slip my shoes on, I retrieve the card key and some cash and head downstairs.

********

I walk through the lobby on my way to the little liquor store I found when I first got here. This time I look around a bit, something I didn't do when I first arrived. Then again, after I'd checked in, all I'd cared about was getting a bottle and going to my room. Before that, all that had mattered was escaping L.A. I didn't even decide where I was going until I was standing in front of the departures board at the airport.

Once I reach my destination, I just stand outside thinking about the past twenty-four hours. I think about the messages Eric and Jack left on my voicemail. I think about the call I returned to Weiss, letting him know I was okay. I think about how hard he tried to reassure me that it wasn't Sydney's body we'd discovered in the warehouse. I think about Sydney. And then I don't want to think anymore.

I walk inside and go straight to the fifths. I grab a bottle and go to the counter. I see the same girl who was here the first time I came in. She looks at me curiously, but says nothing as she rings up my purchase. I hand her some money and wait as she counts back my change. And then I leave.

I go back to the bank of elevators and I wait. One finally arrives and I step inside. The doors are about to close when a hand grabs one of the doors. Automatically they open back up and a man steps aside, allowing his bride to enter first.

Five floors later, they exit and I feel more alone than I ever thought possible. When I finally reach my floor, I get out, and before the door to my room even has a chance to close, I've removed the cap and the bottle is at my lips. But as the first drop dances over my tongue, I pull it away, throwing it against the opposite wall. The bottle shatters and the amber liquid trails down the wall, my tears mimicing the action of the alcohol.

I slide to the floor, my head resting against the door as months of hopes and fears, months of wishes and dreams, months of nightmares and haunting reality smother me. And when I finally close my eyes it's with the knowledge that to me, she is finally and truly gone.

TBC…