Author's note: Sorry for the delay everyone, and thanks again for the
wonderful reviews. I've been extremely busy lately I apologize once again
for how long this chapter has taken. This chapter has been the most
difficult chapter I've ever written. It seemed no matter how many times I
revised it, I still wasn't pleased with it. Please be honest when you
review this one. I am aware that it's not top notch.
CHAPTER 10: THE PRISIONER'S ACCOUNT
"What's there to tell?" Obi-Wan asked, and promptly turned his attention to staring into space. "Melida/Daan was a bloody, war-torn planet; and it probably still is."
"Then why did you stay?" Queen Amidala asked with sincerity.
"It was all I had. I couldn't go back to the Jedi, not after what I did."
"Why not? From what I understand the Jedi are like family. They would have understood."
"Not quite, milady. They would have jumped at the chance to ostracize me. No one wanted me there, except maybe Qui-Gon. Tahl never even wanted me as her padawan. No matter what I did, there was no pleasing her. That's why she always left me behind, because she saw me as such a failure."
"Why would she think that? You're being ridiculous."
"Am I? Despite what you've come to understand, things aren't like that with the Jedi. They don't care for excuses and they don't forgive. They only demand perfection."
"That's much of our society today. Results are expected of us all, even the children. It just doesn't seem fair. I understand."
Obi-Wan believed she did understand. Being Queen at the age of fourteen must have involved a rather tumultuous childhood. After all at age fourteen she was practically still a child, herself. At that moment, Obi-Wan decided that this young girl understood him when no one had ever understood him before. Padme Amidala had done what she had set out to do: she won his confidence.
"So why are you really here?" Obi-Wan asked still unsatisfied with her previous answer.
"I told you, I'm curious." She answered with that endearingly adorable grin.
"About Melida/Daan?" He asked. The girl nodded. "Very well." He continued. "I bartered my way onto the planet. It wasn't easy considering no one wanted to go to a war-ridden planet. I knew my Master was in trouble from the minute I set foot on there. I could sense it. I set out to find her, I set out to be a hero, instead I became a prisoner of war."
"You were captured? By whom?"
"Nield and Cersi, otherwise known as the leaders of The Young."
"The Young? Oh, of course; the group of freedom-fighter children. I have to admit when I heard their stories I found them pretty inspirational."
"So did I." Obi-Wan confessed. "I thought Cersi and Neild were members of the Melida army. So I let them take me prisoner in order to discover the whereabouts of my Master. When I found out who they really were and they found out who I was, I suppose we empathized with one another. We made a pact to help one another as best we could."
"Sounds like quite the arrangement. You get their knowledge of the planet and they get a Jedi soldier."
"I suppose that was the idea. I think Cersi really felt bad for me and that's why she agreed to the arrangement and I always suspected that Nield only wanted to use me as leverage in his negotiations. Either way the very next day we coordinated an attack on the Melida's prison. We successfully freed my Master as we had anticipated, however we had not anticipated the Melida would fight back so much."
"There was a battle?"
"Yes, a terrible one. The Melida were willing to slaughter their own children in order to keep their Jedi prisoner for leverage. They hoped to bargain with the republic for her life. They would return Tahl in exchange for aide, including more weapons. This leverage which they killed so greatly for was soon lost. In my attempts to keep Nield and Cersi safe from blaster fire a stray blast hit Tahl. She was already dying, the blast merely finished the job."
"How awful.I'm sorry."
"I couldn't allow it. I couldn't allow their bloodlust to go unpunished. They were willing to kill innocents who had nothing to do with the war and even their own children, all so they could gain the power to destroy an enemy whom they couldn't even remember the reason they were fighting." Obi-Wan got that far off, distant look once more. He had never spoken openly about this to anyone before.
"You say you couldn't allow it. What did you do?" Padme earged him out of his shell again.
"What else, I fought back. I fought with out any regard for the ways of the Force. Yet I still felt a power surging through me, a different power, a power which made me sick to my stomach yet fueled my muscles with an intensity they'd never known before. It was that day that I discovered the darkside. That's why I couldn't go back. I know the Jedi masters would have sensed a change in me, I just couldn't face them. I couldn't face my failure."
"So you spread rumors that you had been killed so the Jedi investigative team would give up on their search for you."
"You're too smart for your own good, milady." Obi-Wan smiled.
"How did you become involved with the Sith?" The girl ignored the flattery and continued her questioning.
"When one is seduced by the darkside one tries to seek out others with it. I can't explain it better than: the darkside can make one lust for power and there is strength in numbers. I met a girl. Her name was Indira. She showed me a life that I felt had it all: the life of a Sith assassin."
"The life of a Sith assassin has it all?"
"You have to remember, I was a seventeen year old boy. A pretty girl could have asked me to eat duracrete and I would have done it."
"Indira was beautiful?"
"Her beauty pales in comparison to yours, milady." Padme blushed and smiled, this flattery she acknowledged. "Anyway, beside the fact that I had a pretty girl twisting my arm the life also seemed pretty amazing to a guy my age. I got to go on missions, pick fights, have adventures, it was like being a Jedi, but without the responsibility."
"Sounds great. Why did you leave?"
"We all have to grow up sometime." Obi-Wan said with a smile which quickly faded. "Honestly, I couldn't allow Maul to go through with it. Qui-Gon was always kind to me at the temple. I know it sounds lame but I felt a connection to him. In a way I felt like he was the only friend I had."
"That doesn't sound lame. I think it's sweet." Padme said with that charming smile.
"So milady, did you find out everything you wanted to know about me?"
"About your controversial past, perhaps, But I'd like to get to know a great deal more about you." Padme said with a smile that was seductive beyond her years.
She's fourteen! Obi-Wan kept reminding himself. Her maturity made it difficult to remember that fact. Each time she spoke, their age gap seemed to close.
"Perhaps you'll have that opportunity by and by." Obi-Wan said respectfully.
"So tell me," Padme said, changing subjects, "Why exactly are you in here?"
"Beats me." Obi-Wan scoffed. "You should have asked Xanatos when you were pumping him for information about me. I suppose It's because they deem me a threat."
"That's outrageous! You are a hero. If not for you, Master Jinn would no longer be with us. You've done no wrong. I'm going to arrange your release." Padme said rising to her feet, determination burning in her eyes.
"If you insist." Obi-Wan said with a chuckle. He guessed that having the planet's ruler on one's side must be advantageous.
"I will have you out in time to attend the victory celebration ball tonight."
"I beg your pardon? A ball? I don't think so. I'm not exactly very sociable-looking right now." Obi-Wan ran his fingers through his scraggly beard and looked at his dusty, ratty clothes.
"I'll provide clothing and a place to bathe. You are a hero of our planet and I insist you come. I'll even save a dance for you." She said with yet another smile.
"Do you think that would be appropriate?" Obi-Wan wondered.
"Oh." Padme said with realization in her voice. "Do you not care for women?" She said slowly as if trying to search for the best way to ask the question.
"What?! No. I mean yes, of course I like women. I thought that was obvious from my story about Indira. I meant, would it be inappropriate considering our ages?"
Padme had a look of puzzlement on her face. "It's just a dance. It's not like we're getting married." She said with a chuckle.
"Yeah." Obi-Wan scoffed, trying to hide the fact that he had actually thought how nice that would be.
"So after I arrange your release, you'll be there?" Padme asked with hope in her eyes.
Obi-Wan searched his mind for a way to put her down gently. He didn't want to go to some stuffy party, but he didn't want to seem ungrateful for his release nor did he want to disappoint the Queen.
"Please." Padme pleaded and then held his gaze with her beautiful brown eyes that seemed to tug at his heartstrings. How could he say no to a creature who was so beautiful both inside and out. "For me?" She said with that pleasing, endearing, tone she had and continued to hold his gaze with her puppy-dog eyes.
"I'd be honored." Obi-Wan said, caving in.
"Excellent!" Padme said with a huge grin. "Once I have secured your release, I'll send my handmaiden Sabe here to assist you with anything you require." The Queen headed to the door and knocked lightly. Quickly Panaka opened the door and burst into the cell.
"Everything okay?" He said boldly.
"Fine, Captain." She said and headed out the door. She stopped in the doorway and turned to face Obi-Wan. "See you tonight." She said, then turned and continued down the hall.
Panaka followed and closed the door behind him. Obi-Wan was left alone in his cell once more. He thought for a moment about the upcoming night and then he realized that several members of the Jedi council, who were on planet for Sypho-Dias' funeral, would probably be there.
The confrontation he had avoided all these years was now inevitable. He promised the Queen he'd attend tonight, not realizing he would have to face the demons of his past. Obi-Wan covered his eyes with his forearm, laid back on his sleep mat and said quietly to himself: "What the Hell have I done!?"
CHAPTER 10: THE PRISIONER'S ACCOUNT
"What's there to tell?" Obi-Wan asked, and promptly turned his attention to staring into space. "Melida/Daan was a bloody, war-torn planet; and it probably still is."
"Then why did you stay?" Queen Amidala asked with sincerity.
"It was all I had. I couldn't go back to the Jedi, not after what I did."
"Why not? From what I understand the Jedi are like family. They would have understood."
"Not quite, milady. They would have jumped at the chance to ostracize me. No one wanted me there, except maybe Qui-Gon. Tahl never even wanted me as her padawan. No matter what I did, there was no pleasing her. That's why she always left me behind, because she saw me as such a failure."
"Why would she think that? You're being ridiculous."
"Am I? Despite what you've come to understand, things aren't like that with the Jedi. They don't care for excuses and they don't forgive. They only demand perfection."
"That's much of our society today. Results are expected of us all, even the children. It just doesn't seem fair. I understand."
Obi-Wan believed she did understand. Being Queen at the age of fourteen must have involved a rather tumultuous childhood. After all at age fourteen she was practically still a child, herself. At that moment, Obi-Wan decided that this young girl understood him when no one had ever understood him before. Padme Amidala had done what she had set out to do: she won his confidence.
"So why are you really here?" Obi-Wan asked still unsatisfied with her previous answer.
"I told you, I'm curious." She answered with that endearingly adorable grin.
"About Melida/Daan?" He asked. The girl nodded. "Very well." He continued. "I bartered my way onto the planet. It wasn't easy considering no one wanted to go to a war-ridden planet. I knew my Master was in trouble from the minute I set foot on there. I could sense it. I set out to find her, I set out to be a hero, instead I became a prisoner of war."
"You were captured? By whom?"
"Nield and Cersi, otherwise known as the leaders of The Young."
"The Young? Oh, of course; the group of freedom-fighter children. I have to admit when I heard their stories I found them pretty inspirational."
"So did I." Obi-Wan confessed. "I thought Cersi and Neild were members of the Melida army. So I let them take me prisoner in order to discover the whereabouts of my Master. When I found out who they really were and they found out who I was, I suppose we empathized with one another. We made a pact to help one another as best we could."
"Sounds like quite the arrangement. You get their knowledge of the planet and they get a Jedi soldier."
"I suppose that was the idea. I think Cersi really felt bad for me and that's why she agreed to the arrangement and I always suspected that Nield only wanted to use me as leverage in his negotiations. Either way the very next day we coordinated an attack on the Melida's prison. We successfully freed my Master as we had anticipated, however we had not anticipated the Melida would fight back so much."
"There was a battle?"
"Yes, a terrible one. The Melida were willing to slaughter their own children in order to keep their Jedi prisoner for leverage. They hoped to bargain with the republic for her life. They would return Tahl in exchange for aide, including more weapons. This leverage which they killed so greatly for was soon lost. In my attempts to keep Nield and Cersi safe from blaster fire a stray blast hit Tahl. She was already dying, the blast merely finished the job."
"How awful.I'm sorry."
"I couldn't allow it. I couldn't allow their bloodlust to go unpunished. They were willing to kill innocents who had nothing to do with the war and even their own children, all so they could gain the power to destroy an enemy whom they couldn't even remember the reason they were fighting." Obi-Wan got that far off, distant look once more. He had never spoken openly about this to anyone before.
"You say you couldn't allow it. What did you do?" Padme earged him out of his shell again.
"What else, I fought back. I fought with out any regard for the ways of the Force. Yet I still felt a power surging through me, a different power, a power which made me sick to my stomach yet fueled my muscles with an intensity they'd never known before. It was that day that I discovered the darkside. That's why I couldn't go back. I know the Jedi masters would have sensed a change in me, I just couldn't face them. I couldn't face my failure."
"So you spread rumors that you had been killed so the Jedi investigative team would give up on their search for you."
"You're too smart for your own good, milady." Obi-Wan smiled.
"How did you become involved with the Sith?" The girl ignored the flattery and continued her questioning.
"When one is seduced by the darkside one tries to seek out others with it. I can't explain it better than: the darkside can make one lust for power and there is strength in numbers. I met a girl. Her name was Indira. She showed me a life that I felt had it all: the life of a Sith assassin."
"The life of a Sith assassin has it all?"
"You have to remember, I was a seventeen year old boy. A pretty girl could have asked me to eat duracrete and I would have done it."
"Indira was beautiful?"
"Her beauty pales in comparison to yours, milady." Padme blushed and smiled, this flattery she acknowledged. "Anyway, beside the fact that I had a pretty girl twisting my arm the life also seemed pretty amazing to a guy my age. I got to go on missions, pick fights, have adventures, it was like being a Jedi, but without the responsibility."
"Sounds great. Why did you leave?"
"We all have to grow up sometime." Obi-Wan said with a smile which quickly faded. "Honestly, I couldn't allow Maul to go through with it. Qui-Gon was always kind to me at the temple. I know it sounds lame but I felt a connection to him. In a way I felt like he was the only friend I had."
"That doesn't sound lame. I think it's sweet." Padme said with that charming smile.
"So milady, did you find out everything you wanted to know about me?"
"About your controversial past, perhaps, But I'd like to get to know a great deal more about you." Padme said with a smile that was seductive beyond her years.
She's fourteen! Obi-Wan kept reminding himself. Her maturity made it difficult to remember that fact. Each time she spoke, their age gap seemed to close.
"Perhaps you'll have that opportunity by and by." Obi-Wan said respectfully.
"So tell me," Padme said, changing subjects, "Why exactly are you in here?"
"Beats me." Obi-Wan scoffed. "You should have asked Xanatos when you were pumping him for information about me. I suppose It's because they deem me a threat."
"That's outrageous! You are a hero. If not for you, Master Jinn would no longer be with us. You've done no wrong. I'm going to arrange your release." Padme said rising to her feet, determination burning in her eyes.
"If you insist." Obi-Wan said with a chuckle. He guessed that having the planet's ruler on one's side must be advantageous.
"I will have you out in time to attend the victory celebration ball tonight."
"I beg your pardon? A ball? I don't think so. I'm not exactly very sociable-looking right now." Obi-Wan ran his fingers through his scraggly beard and looked at his dusty, ratty clothes.
"I'll provide clothing and a place to bathe. You are a hero of our planet and I insist you come. I'll even save a dance for you." She said with yet another smile.
"Do you think that would be appropriate?" Obi-Wan wondered.
"Oh." Padme said with realization in her voice. "Do you not care for women?" She said slowly as if trying to search for the best way to ask the question.
"What?! No. I mean yes, of course I like women. I thought that was obvious from my story about Indira. I meant, would it be inappropriate considering our ages?"
Padme had a look of puzzlement on her face. "It's just a dance. It's not like we're getting married." She said with a chuckle.
"Yeah." Obi-Wan scoffed, trying to hide the fact that he had actually thought how nice that would be.
"So after I arrange your release, you'll be there?" Padme asked with hope in her eyes.
Obi-Wan searched his mind for a way to put her down gently. He didn't want to go to some stuffy party, but he didn't want to seem ungrateful for his release nor did he want to disappoint the Queen.
"Please." Padme pleaded and then held his gaze with her beautiful brown eyes that seemed to tug at his heartstrings. How could he say no to a creature who was so beautiful both inside and out. "For me?" She said with that pleasing, endearing, tone she had and continued to hold his gaze with her puppy-dog eyes.
"I'd be honored." Obi-Wan said, caving in.
"Excellent!" Padme said with a huge grin. "Once I have secured your release, I'll send my handmaiden Sabe here to assist you with anything you require." The Queen headed to the door and knocked lightly. Quickly Panaka opened the door and burst into the cell.
"Everything okay?" He said boldly.
"Fine, Captain." She said and headed out the door. She stopped in the doorway and turned to face Obi-Wan. "See you tonight." She said, then turned and continued down the hall.
Panaka followed and closed the door behind him. Obi-Wan was left alone in his cell once more. He thought for a moment about the upcoming night and then he realized that several members of the Jedi council, who were on planet for Sypho-Dias' funeral, would probably be there.
The confrontation he had avoided all these years was now inevitable. He promised the Queen he'd attend tonight, not realizing he would have to face the demons of his past. Obi-Wan covered his eyes with his forearm, laid back on his sleep mat and said quietly to himself: "What the Hell have I done!?"