September 22, 2003
Kiwi meets Scabbitt
Once upon a time, in public building number Seven of Nine, there was a pristine elevator that went from the ground, up to floor 99 ¾. Currently waiting for said elevator was a young person, happily bouncing around barefoot, to the imagined music in her head. This person was Kiwi: the evil, but still everyone's favorite, fruit. Most people just tended to call her Kiwi for short.
Deceptively heavy for her small frame, Kiwi stands at about Five foot Six and is usually clad in tight black jeans held up by a leather belt, and a blood red baby-tee that hugs her curves generously. Shoulder length black hair highlighted with platinum stripes frame her almond shaped face, and accentuate the cat like ears and tail that wiggle in delight as she dances about humming a vaguely recognizable tune.
She is completely oblivious to her surroundings.
Those who happen to see this are more than a little disturbed at the sight of the small woman prancing about like a deranged fairy, and the music being 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Faeries' Tetris style, was no doubt responsible for making it worse.
A slight 'ding' announced the arrival of the elevator to the 42nd floor, and with a scary giggling sound, Kiwi bounced into the compartment and pushed the button for the 69th floor, that being her favorite number but not her actual destination. Still bouncing happily as the 'Tetris Music' played in her head; Kiwi took stock of her surroundings, noticing instantly that it was very clean, shiny, and utterly too small to be completely safe.
"Elevator my tail! More like Death Trap!" Sapphire eyes looked emotionlessly at their own happily bouncing reflection, keenly aware that most people do not talk to themselves.
'But then again, how many people actually answer themselves back?' The sarcasm of the thought instantly caused Kiwi to frown even as she slowed down to more humane speeds.
"Oh there you go again Key-Wee! Always the pessimist! Why can't you just be happy for once?" Kiwi growled at her own reflection in a decidedly menacing way.
"And why are you always such the optimist? Aren't you EVER sad?" Key-Wee: Everyone's (except Kiwi's) favorite, flightless bird, growled back from within the reflection. "Ah stuff it you psycho!" Kiwi yelled and then resolutely closed her eyes and began to hum a 'Dance Dance Revolution' song as loud as she could while once again bouncing about like a deranged super ball.
Key-Wee growled but let it go, knowing that they would just keep arguing for hours and would end up accomplishing nothing but giving herself a rather large headache.
Elsewhere, on floor 69 of public building seven of nine, another figure waits for the elevator. This figure happens to be a cat, you know the small furry creatures that purr and scratch and hiss. Long cream-colored fur covers the small, sleek body as shining green eyes that seem filled with a deadly light stare resolutely ahead. She is Scabbitt the Cat, and is considered one of the most evil creatures on the planet, a born killer they say.
So, Scabbitt sat waiting patiently for the elevator to arrive, and was slightly gratified when a light 'ding' announced it's arrival on the floor. The noise that streamed forth from the open doors caused the cat to twitch violently, before the hideous torture caused an already fragile mind to snap. With a howl of pure rage Scabbitt leapt through the doors in hopes of destroying the source of her torment.
Kiwi, who had been happily singing 'Disney' song's at the top of her voice in an effort to drive Key-Wee to suicide, was quite startled when a light blur had suddenly jumped at her throat and tried to kill her. With a cry of alarm and some reflexive bouncing against the walls, she had managed to just dodge it, and whirled as a light thud told her that her attacker had hit the wall.
A 'Cat' had tried to just kill her! Staring at her 'attacker' Kiwi could only utter a single short phrase in surprise.
"This is new."
'Of course it is. It's not everyday you get attacked by some random. thing!' Key-Wee's sarcastic comment fluttered briefly in the back of her mind, even as she noticed that her adversary was gearing up for a second go.
"Ah, crap!" Another quick dodge and a roll situated Kiwi across from the still open elevator doors.
'Let's get the hell out of here!' Key-Wee shouted even as they lunged desperately for the opening, only to change directions midway to avoid being slaughtered by the deranged animal.
Jumping for her prey, Scabbitt let loose with a blood curdling howl of vengeance in anticipation of finally tasting the blood of this infidel. A loud thud echoed throughout the small compartment as the cat hit the now closed elevator doors face first.
Realizing that they were now stuck in the 'Elevator of Doom' with 'The Psycho Cat from Hell', Kiwi did the only thing she could think of that would adequately convey what she was feeling at that moment. She screamed, a loud and piercing cry that managed to shatter the eardrums of all within a 100-yard radius of her, including Scabbitt.
Despite being partially deaf, and more than a little woozy, Scabbitt slowly managed to stagger to her paws and once again ready herself to attack the creature that had dared to sing such vile songs. Howling with all her feline rage she leapt swiftly, aiming for the pulse point of her strange victim. The sound of tearing flesh and pain managed to dimly register in the cat's nearly useless ears as blood began to flow. She had not missed completely, blood began to run freely from the large gash on her victim's arm, where only seconds before had been clean unbroken skin.
This is where things turn ugly and the following scenes must be censored for our younger readers. Let us just say that much mayhem and bloodshed ensue between the two blood crazed combatants. Those who happened to pass the elevators would hear sounds of mayhem and destruction. Yowls of pain and screams of rage would issue forth randomly to scare any passerby's.
Several minutes of this pass before there is a lull in the death match. Blood soaks everything in the elevator, except the combatants themselves. Both are breathing heavily and growl menacingly at each other as they struggle to remain upright. Suddenly as if none of the past half hour had occurred Kiwi stands up straight and sighs in exasperation.
"What are we doing? This is pointless and insane!" she yells while pulling her hair.
'I whole heartedly agree.' Key-wee gasps quietly.
"Mew."
"Good! Then we're agreed! Let's get some ice cream!" Kiwi enthusiastically yelled even as the doors opened into the lobby entrance. Looking blankly at the blood soaked walls Scabbitt gave the feline version of a shrug and followed.
As the 'Trio' left public building Seven of Nine, the sounds of screaming elevator passengers could be heard for miles. All the fighting had left the structure weakened and had caused the next group of riders to fall to their deaths.
THE END
Kiwi meets Scabbitt
Once upon a time, in public building number Seven of Nine, there was a pristine elevator that went from the ground, up to floor 99 ¾. Currently waiting for said elevator was a young person, happily bouncing around barefoot, to the imagined music in her head. This person was Kiwi: the evil, but still everyone's favorite, fruit. Most people just tended to call her Kiwi for short.
Deceptively heavy for her small frame, Kiwi stands at about Five foot Six and is usually clad in tight black jeans held up by a leather belt, and a blood red baby-tee that hugs her curves generously. Shoulder length black hair highlighted with platinum stripes frame her almond shaped face, and accentuate the cat like ears and tail that wiggle in delight as she dances about humming a vaguely recognizable tune.
She is completely oblivious to her surroundings.
Those who happen to see this are more than a little disturbed at the sight of the small woman prancing about like a deranged fairy, and the music being 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Faeries' Tetris style, was no doubt responsible for making it worse.
A slight 'ding' announced the arrival of the elevator to the 42nd floor, and with a scary giggling sound, Kiwi bounced into the compartment and pushed the button for the 69th floor, that being her favorite number but not her actual destination. Still bouncing happily as the 'Tetris Music' played in her head; Kiwi took stock of her surroundings, noticing instantly that it was very clean, shiny, and utterly too small to be completely safe.
"Elevator my tail! More like Death Trap!" Sapphire eyes looked emotionlessly at their own happily bouncing reflection, keenly aware that most people do not talk to themselves.
'But then again, how many people actually answer themselves back?' The sarcasm of the thought instantly caused Kiwi to frown even as she slowed down to more humane speeds.
"Oh there you go again Key-Wee! Always the pessimist! Why can't you just be happy for once?" Kiwi growled at her own reflection in a decidedly menacing way.
"And why are you always such the optimist? Aren't you EVER sad?" Key-Wee: Everyone's (except Kiwi's) favorite, flightless bird, growled back from within the reflection. "Ah stuff it you psycho!" Kiwi yelled and then resolutely closed her eyes and began to hum a 'Dance Dance Revolution' song as loud as she could while once again bouncing about like a deranged super ball.
Key-Wee growled but let it go, knowing that they would just keep arguing for hours and would end up accomplishing nothing but giving herself a rather large headache.
Elsewhere, on floor 69 of public building seven of nine, another figure waits for the elevator. This figure happens to be a cat, you know the small furry creatures that purr and scratch and hiss. Long cream-colored fur covers the small, sleek body as shining green eyes that seem filled with a deadly light stare resolutely ahead. She is Scabbitt the Cat, and is considered one of the most evil creatures on the planet, a born killer they say.
So, Scabbitt sat waiting patiently for the elevator to arrive, and was slightly gratified when a light 'ding' announced it's arrival on the floor. The noise that streamed forth from the open doors caused the cat to twitch violently, before the hideous torture caused an already fragile mind to snap. With a howl of pure rage Scabbitt leapt through the doors in hopes of destroying the source of her torment.
Kiwi, who had been happily singing 'Disney' song's at the top of her voice in an effort to drive Key-Wee to suicide, was quite startled when a light blur had suddenly jumped at her throat and tried to kill her. With a cry of alarm and some reflexive bouncing against the walls, she had managed to just dodge it, and whirled as a light thud told her that her attacker had hit the wall.
A 'Cat' had tried to just kill her! Staring at her 'attacker' Kiwi could only utter a single short phrase in surprise.
"This is new."
'Of course it is. It's not everyday you get attacked by some random. thing!' Key-Wee's sarcastic comment fluttered briefly in the back of her mind, even as she noticed that her adversary was gearing up for a second go.
"Ah, crap!" Another quick dodge and a roll situated Kiwi across from the still open elevator doors.
'Let's get the hell out of here!' Key-Wee shouted even as they lunged desperately for the opening, only to change directions midway to avoid being slaughtered by the deranged animal.
Jumping for her prey, Scabbitt let loose with a blood curdling howl of vengeance in anticipation of finally tasting the blood of this infidel. A loud thud echoed throughout the small compartment as the cat hit the now closed elevator doors face first.
Realizing that they were now stuck in the 'Elevator of Doom' with 'The Psycho Cat from Hell', Kiwi did the only thing she could think of that would adequately convey what she was feeling at that moment. She screamed, a loud and piercing cry that managed to shatter the eardrums of all within a 100-yard radius of her, including Scabbitt.
Despite being partially deaf, and more than a little woozy, Scabbitt slowly managed to stagger to her paws and once again ready herself to attack the creature that had dared to sing such vile songs. Howling with all her feline rage she leapt swiftly, aiming for the pulse point of her strange victim. The sound of tearing flesh and pain managed to dimly register in the cat's nearly useless ears as blood began to flow. She had not missed completely, blood began to run freely from the large gash on her victim's arm, where only seconds before had been clean unbroken skin.
This is where things turn ugly and the following scenes must be censored for our younger readers. Let us just say that much mayhem and bloodshed ensue between the two blood crazed combatants. Those who happened to pass the elevators would hear sounds of mayhem and destruction. Yowls of pain and screams of rage would issue forth randomly to scare any passerby's.
Several minutes of this pass before there is a lull in the death match. Blood soaks everything in the elevator, except the combatants themselves. Both are breathing heavily and growl menacingly at each other as they struggle to remain upright. Suddenly as if none of the past half hour had occurred Kiwi stands up straight and sighs in exasperation.
"What are we doing? This is pointless and insane!" she yells while pulling her hair.
'I whole heartedly agree.' Key-wee gasps quietly.
"Mew."
"Good! Then we're agreed! Let's get some ice cream!" Kiwi enthusiastically yelled even as the doors opened into the lobby entrance. Looking blankly at the blood soaked walls Scabbitt gave the feline version of a shrug and followed.
As the 'Trio' left public building Seven of Nine, the sounds of screaming elevator passengers could be heard for miles. All the fighting had left the structure weakened and had caused the next group of riders to fall to their deaths.
THE END