Hello everybody! Just in case you were wondering, I do not own any of the Artemis Fowl characters. And because there will be none of my characters in this (what do you expect, it's a guide) everything will and does belong to Eoin Colfer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's a stupid idea to write a guide, while most people on fanfiction.net (in the Artemis Fowl section at least) know just about everything there is to know. But feel free to read and review to tell me if you like it, you don't like it, there's not enough stuff, there's too much stuff, there's something I forgot… etcetera.
And so the guide unfolds (dun-dun-dun).