Faith & Hope in One Night
By: Vash-chan aka Makoto Almasy
~I wouldn't be surprised if I changed my pen name again ^^;;~
Rating: PG (some curse words pop up a few times)
Summary: SM x Angel one-shot. Faith is now out of jail and decides to quietly celebrate her freedom at a bar. While there, she meets another girl who just happens to share a similar past as her. ::Implied Faith and Lita (Makoto) friendship::.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns Faith. Naoko Takeuchi owns Makoto/Lita. The only thing that is mine is this fanfic itself.
AN: I am open to constructive criticism, primarily in reference to Faith herself. If she is OOC or the story is a little confusing then feel free to let me know. I put SM/Buffy in the summary rather than SM/Angel because not many are familiar with Angel as a show.
Timeline: There isn't any particular timeline for either series. Consider this AU.
****
Faith twirled the glass of beer between her fingers. Her dark yet hazy eyes watched the foamy liquid swirl from left to right in the transparent cup, almost close to spilling out and landing on the new sleeveless shirt she was wearing tonight. She was tempted to let the rest of her drink fall out…but what good would that do? It would only cause more eyes to stare in her direction. The minute she sat in front of the bartender Faith could sense the curiosity lurking from beneath this unknown dude's skin.
What was she to this person? Did she look like a tourist to him? Tempting as it sounded, Faith refused to go into a questioning approach with this guy and demand what the hell he found so freaky about her. She was in no mood to get anyone's attention or go patrolling for any vamps around LA. The angelic side of her mind insisted that she take things slowly for the rest of the night. After all it had been only six hours since she left THAT place she had recently called home.
Faith had lost track of time ever since she walked out a free woman. During the day she had been walking around Los Angeles to familiarise herself with the public scenery, as well as the delicious smell of hot dogs and fast food that were being sold in the middle of the street. Everything around her seemed happy and lively. Unlike in prison where life was difficult from the start of your sentence. All she ever received each day were curses and beatings by inmates (and sometimes security guards). Prison life for Faith wasn't very comforting. Every day she had been made to feel like shit inside and out whether she thought she deserved it or not.
So to be finally out after so many years was indeed a refreshing experience for Faith. She felt like a newborn baby coming out of her mother's womb as soon as she stepped out of her former prison home. The sunshine had beamed down on her, greeting the female with a powerful heat wave, making her eyes squint the moment she looked up at the sky and when her feet stepped onto the endless road that led to the central part of Los Angeles. Prior to her departure Faith had received unexpected praise from certain security guards. It seemed that some of them had the same kind of attitude as Angel did. They showed they believed in her. They knew she could pull through in the end and this was the result of such an achievement.
Faith wondered what Angel would say to her if he saw her. She wasn't able to get in touch with him the night before. But then again, Faith understood why he was rarely at home. He was a busy man, trying to be a champion and save the helpless that suffered in this city. Did Angel feel this good when he realised he could be a saviour? Was this the same feeling he had as Faith? The latter couldn't help feeling so brand new and free right now. And because of this, she wasn't sure what to do next. What could she do anyway? She didn't have to worry about being the chosen one because Buffy Summers had that duty. Faith on the other hand was second best.
"B, what would you say if you looked at me in the face right now?" She murmured, ignoring the bartender's suspicious stare. As if she cared what he was thinking about her. If he thought she was mad for talking to herself or the glass of beer then let him be. Funnily enough, Faith didn't seem to be drunk – and this was her second glass. Her head was still in control. Then again it was likely because she had chosen something weak. Even though her walk out of jail was meant to be something worth celebrating Faith honestly didn't want to get herself into trouble and end up in that place of hell once again due to clumsiness.
Her path of redemption wasn't exactly complete yet. But honestly, how would Buffy and the Scoobies react if they heard Faith was out of jail at last? The chances were that things would get rocky. Time was essential and Faith understood it if nobody wanted to talk to her in Sunnydale, particularly Buffy herself. Faith's fingers gripped the glass hard when she reminisced about her previous actions after waking up from her coma. She had to admit, B had every right to be angry with her after coming here. What the rogue Slayer did by sleeping with Riley after switching bodies with Buffy would never be forgiven in one second. Faith had paid the price numerously while getting the crap beaten out of her in jail and understood the pain her Slayer buddy had endured.
Sorry was the only thing she could ever give to B if they reunited in future. No matter how many times she would say it an apology was the best that Faith would offer as a friend. God I'm starting to feel worse than shit Faith released the tension from her fingers and took one large gulp of beer. The alcoholic liquid devoured the hard layers of guilt that had begun to rise within her throat. Sooner or later she became more satisfied and much more relaxed once using her solution to soothing the sudden surfacing of guilt and regret.
"You seem to have a lot on your mind."
Stunned by the unexpected arrival of another woman sitting next to her, Faith turned to her left hand side at the sound of the new voice. Hopefully it wasn't the alcohol that was making her alertness go all foggy here. She still had to watch her back for any weird demons or crazy perverts that crossed her path, as well as be careful on how she fought and make the same mistake as before in Sunnydale. The first thing that Faith's brown eyes noticed was the rose earring that sparkled on this person's right ear. Then a set of emerald irises met her surprised façade.
It was rare to find any person who had piercing eyes like that, especially if they were green. They were so bright that they could almost pass as fluorescent lights if their intensity increased. Who was this brunette? She oozed the term 'newbie in town.' Well then again Faith noticed that she herself had the appeal which screamed 'Hey just walked out of a jail so that means I've redeemed.'
"Hello?" The girl snapped Faith out of her unusual stare by waving her hand in front of the latter's face. "I said you seem to have a lot on your mind."
"Oh uh…yeah I guess I do." Faith's mind wasn't exactly back in its place since the moment of surprise was broken off by the girl's interruption. She couldn't really say more as the girl spoke on.
"Because you had a lot on your mind, you ended up going on a faraway journey inside here," The auburn haired female said and pointed a finger to one of her temples. Her green eyes scanned Faith's exterior for a moment. The rogue Slayer assumed she was observing her like a shop assistant who was checking whether a dress fitted on a customer. "You look like you just left a rough house."
"W-what?" Faith could only remark. She was suddenly dragged nearer when the girl started to whisper.
"Did you just leave a jailhouse?"
Faith found herself in even more shock and surprise. This first day of freedom was turning out to be quite strange. Who would have thought she would stumble across someone who easily sensed she had just left jail merely by looking at her? Did Faith really stick out that much and get attention without realising it? Sure she knew she got attention by the male ogling crowd for her curves and dancing each time she headed to a wild disco. But she was in a quiet bar, having small beverages and celebrating the success of her acquired redemption by herself. A pity that Angel wasn't at his place. Perhaps her little celebration would be more entertaining to share with a mentor like the soul-filled vampire himself.
"The name's Lita," The girl removed her hand from holding the glass and held it out to Faith, nodding briefly to apologise for her lateness in not telling the rogue Slayer who she was in the first place. Faith accepted the hand, shaking it firmly before introducing herself. Pulling off a gentle smile, Lita went back to gazing at her half-filled glass of beer. "Faith, huh? That's a good name for a person."
"Huh? Ya think so?" Faith hardly ever received praise for something as feeble as her own name.
"Of course I do. As a word, Faith can represent hope or goodness in my opinion."
Faith felt a pang of timidity strike her. Someone thought she had a good name. That was just unbelievable…and generous no doubt. "Okay, okay I wanna know something. How is it that you knew I came out of jail? I mean, you're not like some chick with psychic powers who can read people's minds or anything, are ya?"
"When I first saw you in here, I could see you had had a rough time in some place. First assumption was jail. Simple as that," Lita explained. "Oh and no, I'm a normal human being who doesn't possess psychic powers." Faith thought that what she had just said was certainly not simple. You don't get people who are so good at observing others. That was a rare breed.
"I still don't get you, girl," Faith admitted. "HOW is it that you knew? You haven't given me a reason." Lita grinned, albeit it seemed like it was meant for understanding and sympathy. To her, this Faith person wasn't smart. Well neither was she. But when it came to observing people's problems that was when she would really understand things and pick up some facts straightaway. Solitude was easy to talk about. Faith looked like someone who had been suffering as an outcast.
Lita narrowed her eyes before she spoke. "I was just like you."
"Just like me?" Faith saw Lita frown rather than smile. What a quick switch in emotion! She must have a serious story to how she was able to spot Faith's freedom from jail status. But then it clicked in Faith's thoughts. There was one obvious reason to what Lita was saying. "Oh man, don't tell me you just spent time in jail too."
"Spent five years in there. It would have been fifteen years but the court dropped the number of years. Must be the sympathy they started to have." Lita let out a mocking laugh.
Faith swallowed a gasp. So it was true then. The guess she had in mind was indeed correct. What didn't make sense was how such a plainly dressed chick like Lita was a former female inmate like her. Faith wondered whether this girl was a wild person in the past. "What were you in there for?" she asked.
"Murder," Lita answered, unafraid of stating a frightening word aloud. "Actually it was more of an accident – although the cops didn't believe me at first." Faith bit her lip hard. Lita had no idea how much her story was wigging her out. It sounded similar to hers. "What's your reason?" Lita's green eyes looked up at Faith's again.
The rogue Slayer laughed sarcastically and sipped a bit of her drink. "I too killed someone by accident. It makes me feel kinda pathetic when I think back to that night. Don't mind me, Lita I'm acting all weird on ya."
"Well don't be too embarrassed," Lita said. "The person I killed was one of my closest friends. Damn now how's that for pathetic?" Faith refrained herself from exclaiming 'Oh shit'. She didn't know what was worse. Killing the deputy mayor of Sunnydale or killing your own buddy. She never got close to murdering Buffy so the comparison was impossible to do. On the one hand, to murder a person felt the same - regardless of who the victim was. That man or woman was doomed to have their life taken away. "I had a reputation for being a fighting maniac at school. Honestly I don't like to pick fights. But on that night…I couldn't help myself. And really, if someone tried to slice your friend's throat out and steal her money at the same time, wouldn't you get seriously pissed and take the guy out?"
"Sure as hell would, 'specially if that guy wanted to get into her pants without any permission whatsoever," Faith replied.
"I was gonna punch the guy till he said sorry but out of nowhere Serena came in front of me and got the hit instead. The thing is…I never thought that the damage to her body would really hurt her bad." Lita's hand hardened as it formed into a fist. Were there tears in her eyes? Faith couldn't tell. All she could see were that her fists were shaking. It was either from anger or sadness from losing a life. Faith wasn't as brilliant when it came to reading people by herself. But if it was her who was in Lita's shoes, she'd be shaking her fists from making a huge mistake after murdering someone without thinking firsthand.
What would have happened if Buffy took in one of Faith's deadly punches and died from it instantly? That would obviously have meant the rogue Slayer would be in deep shit. Or more precisely, she would be suffering a lot of guilt from realising her error. Of course that kind of scenario couldn't possibly exist in Faith's life. Buffy was the Slayer in this generation. She was smarter and more experienced than Faith so the chances of beating her were slim.
"Sorry about your friend," Faith could only say with a hint of pity. "With me, I killed the deputy mayor back in Sunnydale." She didn't wait to hear a loud cry from Lita and casually went on explaining her reason for being in jail. "OK I thought he was a vamp…"
"A what?" Lita's eyes grew perplexed. Damn! Faith slapped her head. Duh, Lita wasn't a Slayer or some demon killer, Faith. Use your brain next time you have a chat. Like Lita said, she was a normal human being. What would she know about demons lurking around LA? Not many were aware of the demon bars that existed in this city.
"Uh I mean I thought the deputy mayor was someone I knew. An enemy I never got along with. Didn't pause to see what he looked like and killed him just like…that." Faith snapped her finger to show how quick her first murder was. "After what I did that night I didn't want to talk to anyone about it. Not even my friend Buffy. God…" She slouched in her seat and covered her face in her arms. "You have no idea how fucked up things have been for me. I can't believe I thought everything would be okay if I dealt with it on my own."
"My life has been fucked up as well, Faith," Lita admitted. "I too thought I could sort everything out on my own without anyone worrying about me…however the guilt just kept on growing. Pretty soon I had to come clean."
"Have you seen your friends these days?" Faith questioned as she watched Lita grimace even more.
"I've lost touch with them completely," Lita replied. "They're probably too angry or too afraid to go near me now. I can't blame them for being like that." For a long moment, she stared at the small amount of beer left behind in her glass and then swallowed it in one quick swig. There were exceptional times when alcohol was your best friend, despite how unhealthy it was to drink on a daily basis. Tonight was one obvious exception for people such as Lita and Faith. It was to get rid of the past guilt and mistakes they had made as individuals. "I take that your buddies aren't exactly on friendly terms with you." Lita assumed.
"Oh no way," Faith said, shaking her head. "Not yet anyway." How long it would be till her supposed amigos would be nice to her as before was unknown to Faith. Maybe it may not happen at all and they'd still be on opposite rivers.
"I guess our friends need time to recover from our craziness, right?" Lita smirked. "Wounds take time to heal so you gotta have faith in yourself, you know?" She winked at the rogue Slayer, hinting the obvious pun she had kindly created for this new friend. Faith couldn't help laughing at the generous usage of her name as a token of respect as well as the evident attempt to get some humour going on for the both of them. She saw Lita push her chair back and stand up normally.
"Are you going?" Faith asked. She didn't think Lita was that tall or that slim. The wavy haired brunette was at least two heads taller than her petite size. Faith looked at the clock and realised it was close to 7PM. They had been talking for quite a while, hadn't they?
"Faith, I would like to continue this conversation but I gotta get ready for work tomorrow morning," Lita said, wrapping her long leather coat around her body. "Why don't we meet up again tomorrow night? I think you and I have a lot more stories to share."
"Hey I'm so in," Faith agreed. Of course she was going to meet Lita again. It would make things a lot more fun for her, especially if she wasn't able to get a hold of Angel. He was better off spending most of his night saving the helpless. Their moments of celebration could wait, right?
"Let's meet here again at 6PM tomorrow night," Lita suggested. "Here's my phone number. If you change your mind on the time then let me know. Don't be late, Faith."
"I'll be on time, don't you worry," Faith insisted and exchanged another firm handshake with Lita. Once she scribbled her contact details, the latter briskly disappeared from the bar. Faith watched her friend's slender physique fade away once the door to the bar slammed shut after her.
****
Was this what she called an imaginary friend? Was Lita someone she made up? Surely she wasn't starting to lose her soberness from drinking last night. But the piece of paper that lay in her palm certainly felt real didn't it? Faith could read the word Lita and also the home number which had been scribbled at fast speed. Nope, she wasn't seeing things all right. The name and number was real. Lita was definitely a real person. Or maybe a real friend aside from Angel.
Faith hadn't felt this comfortable with talking to someone. The inmates were afraid of her reputation for being a tough chick who could take any bitch on and steered clear from her. Lita didn't seem to be hesitant with talking to Faith, which was a refreshing moment for the rogue Slayer. Since she left jail, she hadn't stumbled across anyone this nice. As a reward for learning about her errors in jail, she had an opportunity to speak to a person who showed respect and kindness as well as a sympathetic ear to someone like Faith.
Where is she? Faith wondered. She had arrived early, just like she promised. But according to the clock on the wall it was way past their rendezvous time. Lita was an hour late. How long could Faith keep her patience in check? The news on the small TV behind the bar tender was on at full blast and it seemed to keeping her awake slightly, although it wasn't helping her mood as much. Why didn't Lita kindly admit she wasn't punctual? It wouldn't hurt, right? After all they were both friends who understood how hard redemption was.
"Hey, you," Faith abruptly beckoned to the bartender. Regardless of how much of a freak he thought of her, she had to get some quick information. The bartender finished cleaning a wine glass before turning his glaring eyes into Faith's direction. She told herself to keep her cool and not demand what the hell he was staring at. "Did you see a brown-haired girl with rose earrings come in here?"
"You mean the girl you were talking to last night, right?" The bartender said.
"Yeah, her name's Lita. Have you seen her at all today?"
"Oh don't tell me you didn't know." As soon as the bartender said this, everyone in the bar turned to Faith. It looked like she must have missed an important piece of news. Why else were people staring at her as if they were offended? Hey she had a good excuse, she was spending time in the park, enjoying the sun. The day was nice and peaceful, wasn't it?
Despite the rudeness in the bartender's voice, Faith's eyebrows curled suspiciously. "Know what?" Before she could get an answer someone in the bar suddenly yelled, "Hey, Joey the news!" Automatically Faith and the bartender -who most likely to be one called Joey- turned to the TV sitting behind the bartender. Next to the female news reporter was the words 'instant death for girl at car crash.' OK so what if there was a car crash Faith said to herself. People get them all the time in big cities. Congestion in roads was a norm for the city people. However when more pictures came through in the background Faith found herself staring in horror at the bloodiness of the accident. It had been a while since Faith saw a lot of blood in front of her.
Indeed she could see why this car crash was serious. But that wasn't all. It was the main victim being wheeled away on a stretcher and into the local hospital doors that only worsened her reaction of terror. There was only one person she knew all too well who had dazzling red earrings like that. That piece of jewellery wasn't a common thing for girls. Lita was the only person who owned such earrings. Was that really her? Was that Lita bleeding like hell on the TV screen?
"Oh my God, it can't be," Faith stammered.
"The accident happened eight hours ago," The bartender confirmed. "Lita had died by the time she headed to the ER. We thought you heard about it already."
"B-but…w-we just…" She couldn't say anything. The words wouldn't come out of Faith's mouth. This was too much to take in. Eight hours ago. Faith was still asleep in her apartment when it happened. How careless could she be to not hear anything? And god she had the nerve to enjoy the sunny weather after having breakfast while Lita was in the ER, lifeless.
The shock that travelled into her body almost reminded Faith of her reaction after killing the Deputy Mayor of Sunnydale. How could a new friend just disappear like that? Why did something have to take her away through tragedy? "Lita, no…" She covered her face underneath the messy strands of her brown hair. No point in crying in public. It wasn't going to bring her back, was it? She was gone. Just like other people she knew or perhaps murdered. Life was so fucked up for Faith.
What the hell was she to do? She thought her life of freedom from finishing a jail sentence was going to start off well after meeting Lita last night (but it didn't of course because of this tragic accident that happened early today). Who would have expected someone to approach Faith and show she understood what the former had been through as a former murderer? This wasn't a vampire who was over two-hundred years old. Lita was a woman who was likely to be the same age as Faith herself. It meant that relating to someone like her was easier. Faith could tell Lita was someone who fought a lot like herself though acted on impulse occasionally. Boy, it would have been great to see who could beat each other in a fight. Would it be the rogue Slayer or the fighting maniac? However, that dream of sparring wasn't going to take place. Not now. Not ever.
A larger tinge of misery tugged at Faith's skin when she pictured the Scoobies in Sunnydale, increasing the level of depression of loss. As much as she wanted to see her friends again and helplessly apologise for making their lives hell, she knew they wouldn't forgive straightaway. Like she said to herself, they wouldn't be comfortable seeing an old face. Broken bonds needed time to mend before Faith could be accepted back as a comrade. No matter how long it would take, Faith had to truly believe in her inner soul. She couldn't give up this redemption duty now. Apart from Angel, Lita was another person to have inspired her on having continuous faith in herself.
"Lita…thanks," She whispered. Just like Lita said, faith could represent hope and goodness. And Faith knew this fact was true - even though Lita wasn't here.
END
Note: In regards to Makoto/Lita's communication loss with her friends in the past, this doesn't signify a betrayal storyline that is familiar in the Sailormoon crossovers section. What I am trying to say is that Makoto didn't want her friends to worry, thus decided to distance herself from them to sort out this problem on her own, just like how Faith acted in season 3 of Buffy. Lita/Makoto's character is based on a 'What if' assumption. What if she was someone whose fighting ability got out of hand? I suppose this 'what if' idea can also create a similarity between Faith and Makoto/Lita as impulsive characters.