Sunday morning arrives. This Sunday, however, is cheerful, filled with
awaiting happiness. Days have never held more importance for Snape than
placeholders in life before but today Bitters would return to the hustle
and bustle of school. Snape sits in his office anxiously waiting for the
one thing that could bring happiness to a lonely, dark heart. He reflects
on the last few days. Today Snape does not drift off to another world. His
mind, soul, heart, and body are all here at Hogwarts. As he sits and
reflects a smile grows larger and larger on his weathered face. The past
had not been kind to Snape and he tired out long before he should have. But
now he hopes life will give him a second chance to live, to feel truly
alive once more.
But before his thoughts can continue, there is a sharp rap on the door. Followed by another one and another one.
"Alright, alright. I'm coming." Snape jumps up and opens the door.
"Snape! I thought I told you to stay away from my private storage cupboards! Now I'm missing a whole bucket of lizards guts and I know who stole them!" Bitters stands outside the door looking extremely relaxed but angry.
"Well good. I'm glad you're getting yours from taking my spleens!" Snape yells back.
Bitters steps inside and shuts the door behind her. They both break out in genuine laughter.
"Welcome back Rebecca!" Snape indicates a chair.
"Thank you Severus." Bitters accepts and sits down as Snape brings her a cup of tea. This time with milk, sugar, and tea!
"You look very relaxed." He comments as he sits down on the sofa.
"Yes. I feel much better. How was your morning?"
"One of the nicest mornings I've had for years. For once I had something to look forward to." He gazes into Bitters' eyes, seeing a new glitter to them.
They sit and chat for a while mainly about past experiences with students. But of course they can not speak of teaching without bringing up Harry Potter.
"Severus, if I may ask, why do you dislike Harry more than others?" It is an innocent question but an awkward one for Snape. He stiffens and shifts slightly in his chair. He stares at the floor in silence for a few minutes before replying.
"It's rather personal."
"Oh, I don't wish to pry." Bitters sounds earnest but deep inside she is yearning to hear of Snape's secret. Of why he is like he is.
"No. I want to tell you." I've never confided in anyone before but perhaps I should. I've never met anyone like Rebecca before and I fell that I can tell her my deepest, darkest secrets and she'll understand. "It's something I've never spoken about. Would you really like to hear about it?"
"Yes. Please tell me." She gently answers, concern shining deeply in her jet-black eyes. "When I was a young boy studying here at Hogwarts I never really fit in. I didn't have many friends and people looked at me differently. I did well in my classes though. Mainly Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. I was, and always have been, fascinated by the Dark Arts. While I was there I met a young girl. She quite dazzled me. We got along very well and became good friends. Soon we were more than good friends. Hogwarts had previously been a living Hell for me. I hated everyday there but then she came along and brightened up my life. She gave me something to look forward to. We spent every free moment together. But then..." Snape quietly trials off remembering the awful turn of fate. "Then a new student arrived. Another boy and she was swept off her feet by him. After all the time we spent together, after all the joy we shared with each other, she ran off with him and left me to stand and stare after her." Snape stops her as his throat goes tight.
"But was he?" Bitters gently asks.
"I fell in love with a girl named Lily Evans but I was forgotten when James Potter came along. Harry's father." These last words are uttered with a strong emotion that Snape tries to hide but can't.
"That's horrible. What did you do?"
"I became lost. My world was black again. I had no friends, nothing to care about. I was lead astray by boys I hung around. I became a Death Eater after school. I felt at home for once. It was the only place I was accepted. Everyone else was like me. But things became awful. Voldemort abused his followers greatly. We were tortured and used beyond your imagination. I couldn't stand it any longer. Anything was better than that. Everyday I woke up not knowing what would befall me. I had to leave. I fled at great risk. I wondered around with no home and no job until Dumbledore gave me the only open position here. Since then I've stayed her teaching these students. But I can't stand them because they have no idea of what is out there. They're too wrapped up in their happy little lives. They don't appreciate what they have. My nights have been haunted by the past. My relationship and the horror of those days on the dark side have always drifted across my mind when there has been nothing else to occupy it. But now,¦well." Snape stops, trying to fight back the memories that are pushing forward in his mind's eye.
Bitters stands up and walks over to him. She sets her mug down on his desk and sits beside him on the couch.
"You know I think that's why we enjoy each other's company. We both have dark pasts and secrets." Snape lifts his head and looks at her, curious to hear her story. "I didn't have a happy childhood either. When my parents found out I was a witch they discarded me. They didn't want anything to do with me. I came to Beauxbatons glad to be away from them but I never fitted in either. My summers were awful. I had to stay with relatives. No one wanted me though and I was passed around from house to house. After school I was so happy to have my freedom. I could go anywhere I wanted and do whatever I felt like. I shared your passion for the Dark Arts. I traveled to Germany to study and get a first hand look. I watched Death Eaters in the northern part of Germany. The thins they did were horrendous. Over there I witnessed the worst things anyone could ever imagine. But, of course, you would know what I'm talking about. I'll never forget it." Shaking her head, her long hair waving about gently, she continues. "But then one day I was caught. I had foolishly allowed them to corner me. I tried to run, to dodge their curses, but I was too slow. One curse hit me right in my back. I wanted to fall, to give up and pass out, but I had to keep running. Thankfully I got out alive but now I have to deal with the curse. I can get very weak easily. I can't get over tired or stressed out or I just break down like I did last week. The potion I make helps reduce the symptoms but if I don't have it quick enough I, well, end up in bed, or...or worse." As she finishes Snape gently takes her hand and gazes into her eyes. She manages a weak smile.
"If you like, I'll make sure you get your potion on time and made right." He smiles at her, his eyes sparkling.
"Yes. Yes I'd like that very much."
For a while neither of them speak. They drink their tea quietly, enjoying each other's company.
But soon Snape ends the silence. He puts down his cup and turns to face Rebecca. Taking her hands in his he gazes lovingly into her eyes which are now dancing with joy.
"Rebecca, would you care to by my date at the end of year ball?"
"Oh Severus! It would be my pleasure." She gasps and hugs him tightly.
Snape, at first surprised and unsure, recovers from the shock of her warm body against his and runs his fingers through her silky hair. So this is what it feels like. This is how you feel when someone really cares about you, when you have someone to love again.
I knew there was a warm person underneath that stern exterior. Bitters thinks, her eyes closed. He's just like me. Just someone who needs someone to love.
"Severus?" Bitters lifts her head slowly.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry about your dark past. But don't think about it. Lets start anew."
"Yes, lets. Together we can get through it and forget it."
They sit silently for a long time, so glad to have someone in their lives again.
"Becky?"
"Mmm?"
"You wont leave will you?" Snape cautiously asks.
"No, never. I'd never leave you." She squeezes his hand.
For the first time in many years, Snape has a friend once more, someone to busy his troubled mind and help him feel special. Bitters too is overjoyed to have, for the first time, a partner, a friend, a lover.
As they sit in silence they realize that all they ever needed, all they ever wanted was someone to care, to show compassion. And in their dark, black pasts they found similarities within each other, a common ground where their love and friendship could form and grow from black memories into deep, bright happiness. Holding each other tightly in their arms, never wanting to let go, they have come to understand that their love is as red as black. ***************************************************
But before his thoughts can continue, there is a sharp rap on the door. Followed by another one and another one.
"Alright, alright. I'm coming." Snape jumps up and opens the door.
"Snape! I thought I told you to stay away from my private storage cupboards! Now I'm missing a whole bucket of lizards guts and I know who stole them!" Bitters stands outside the door looking extremely relaxed but angry.
"Well good. I'm glad you're getting yours from taking my spleens!" Snape yells back.
Bitters steps inside and shuts the door behind her. They both break out in genuine laughter.
"Welcome back Rebecca!" Snape indicates a chair.
"Thank you Severus." Bitters accepts and sits down as Snape brings her a cup of tea. This time with milk, sugar, and tea!
"You look very relaxed." He comments as he sits down on the sofa.
"Yes. I feel much better. How was your morning?"
"One of the nicest mornings I've had for years. For once I had something to look forward to." He gazes into Bitters' eyes, seeing a new glitter to them.
They sit and chat for a while mainly about past experiences with students. But of course they can not speak of teaching without bringing up Harry Potter.
"Severus, if I may ask, why do you dislike Harry more than others?" It is an innocent question but an awkward one for Snape. He stiffens and shifts slightly in his chair. He stares at the floor in silence for a few minutes before replying.
"It's rather personal."
"Oh, I don't wish to pry." Bitters sounds earnest but deep inside she is yearning to hear of Snape's secret. Of why he is like he is.
"No. I want to tell you." I've never confided in anyone before but perhaps I should. I've never met anyone like Rebecca before and I fell that I can tell her my deepest, darkest secrets and she'll understand. "It's something I've never spoken about. Would you really like to hear about it?"
"Yes. Please tell me." She gently answers, concern shining deeply in her jet-black eyes. "When I was a young boy studying here at Hogwarts I never really fit in. I didn't have many friends and people looked at me differently. I did well in my classes though. Mainly Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. I was, and always have been, fascinated by the Dark Arts. While I was there I met a young girl. She quite dazzled me. We got along very well and became good friends. Soon we were more than good friends. Hogwarts had previously been a living Hell for me. I hated everyday there but then she came along and brightened up my life. She gave me something to look forward to. We spent every free moment together. But then..." Snape quietly trials off remembering the awful turn of fate. "Then a new student arrived. Another boy and she was swept off her feet by him. After all the time we spent together, after all the joy we shared with each other, she ran off with him and left me to stand and stare after her." Snape stops her as his throat goes tight.
"But was he?" Bitters gently asks.
"I fell in love with a girl named Lily Evans but I was forgotten when James Potter came along. Harry's father." These last words are uttered with a strong emotion that Snape tries to hide but can't.
"That's horrible. What did you do?"
"I became lost. My world was black again. I had no friends, nothing to care about. I was lead astray by boys I hung around. I became a Death Eater after school. I felt at home for once. It was the only place I was accepted. Everyone else was like me. But things became awful. Voldemort abused his followers greatly. We were tortured and used beyond your imagination. I couldn't stand it any longer. Anything was better than that. Everyday I woke up not knowing what would befall me. I had to leave. I fled at great risk. I wondered around with no home and no job until Dumbledore gave me the only open position here. Since then I've stayed her teaching these students. But I can't stand them because they have no idea of what is out there. They're too wrapped up in their happy little lives. They don't appreciate what they have. My nights have been haunted by the past. My relationship and the horror of those days on the dark side have always drifted across my mind when there has been nothing else to occupy it. But now,¦well." Snape stops, trying to fight back the memories that are pushing forward in his mind's eye.
Bitters stands up and walks over to him. She sets her mug down on his desk and sits beside him on the couch.
"You know I think that's why we enjoy each other's company. We both have dark pasts and secrets." Snape lifts his head and looks at her, curious to hear her story. "I didn't have a happy childhood either. When my parents found out I was a witch they discarded me. They didn't want anything to do with me. I came to Beauxbatons glad to be away from them but I never fitted in either. My summers were awful. I had to stay with relatives. No one wanted me though and I was passed around from house to house. After school I was so happy to have my freedom. I could go anywhere I wanted and do whatever I felt like. I shared your passion for the Dark Arts. I traveled to Germany to study and get a first hand look. I watched Death Eaters in the northern part of Germany. The thins they did were horrendous. Over there I witnessed the worst things anyone could ever imagine. But, of course, you would know what I'm talking about. I'll never forget it." Shaking her head, her long hair waving about gently, she continues. "But then one day I was caught. I had foolishly allowed them to corner me. I tried to run, to dodge their curses, but I was too slow. One curse hit me right in my back. I wanted to fall, to give up and pass out, but I had to keep running. Thankfully I got out alive but now I have to deal with the curse. I can get very weak easily. I can't get over tired or stressed out or I just break down like I did last week. The potion I make helps reduce the symptoms but if I don't have it quick enough I, well, end up in bed, or...or worse." As she finishes Snape gently takes her hand and gazes into her eyes. She manages a weak smile.
"If you like, I'll make sure you get your potion on time and made right." He smiles at her, his eyes sparkling.
"Yes. Yes I'd like that very much."
For a while neither of them speak. They drink their tea quietly, enjoying each other's company.
But soon Snape ends the silence. He puts down his cup and turns to face Rebecca. Taking her hands in his he gazes lovingly into her eyes which are now dancing with joy.
"Rebecca, would you care to by my date at the end of year ball?"
"Oh Severus! It would be my pleasure." She gasps and hugs him tightly.
Snape, at first surprised and unsure, recovers from the shock of her warm body against his and runs his fingers through her silky hair. So this is what it feels like. This is how you feel when someone really cares about you, when you have someone to love again.
I knew there was a warm person underneath that stern exterior. Bitters thinks, her eyes closed. He's just like me. Just someone who needs someone to love.
"Severus?" Bitters lifts her head slowly.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry about your dark past. But don't think about it. Lets start anew."
"Yes, lets. Together we can get through it and forget it."
They sit silently for a long time, so glad to have someone in their lives again.
"Becky?"
"Mmm?"
"You wont leave will you?" Snape cautiously asks.
"No, never. I'd never leave you." She squeezes his hand.
For the first time in many years, Snape has a friend once more, someone to busy his troubled mind and help him feel special. Bitters too is overjoyed to have, for the first time, a partner, a friend, a lover.
As they sit in silence they realize that all they ever needed, all they ever wanted was someone to care, to show compassion. And in their dark, black pasts they found similarities within each other, a common ground where their love and friendship could form and grow from black memories into deep, bright happiness. Holding each other tightly in their arms, never wanting to let go, they have come to understand that their love is as red as black. ***************************************************