A/N: Here's a regular sized chapter, but not a lot of action, just a lot of talk. It probably wasn't too smart of Harry to leave, but he's feeling that combination of betrayal and anger (at Dumbledore), abandonment (by his friends), and of course, Harry's innate sense of self-sacrifice; remember, he was going to run away before when he thought he was possessed, and now Hermione reminded him that she almost died in the Ministry battle.
Just to warn you, I'm going to focus on Hermione for a while; I'll leave you in suspense about Harry for a bit.
Thanks for the reviews, and enjoy!
11. Repercussions
Hermione sat huddled on the balcony of the astronomy tower. Her mind could only focus on three thoughts: Harry was gone; Harry had left her; She couldn't stop him. Harry was gone; Harry had left her; She couldn't stop him. Hermione felt helpless, like her world had just crumbled; her best friend was gone, and it was her fault. If only she hadn't turned him away or knew what to say to keep him from leaving. Eventually, Hermione wiped her eyes and stood up, her mind finally coming to terms with what had happened. Hermione was not the type to sit around and feel sorry for herself. She focused on what to do now. She had to tell Dumbledore, he would know. Retrieving her wand from where Harry had tossed it aside, she ran from the astronomy tower to the stone gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office.
"Professor Dumbledore! Professor Dumbledore!" she cried, not caring who heard her. She banged her fists against the gargoyle as she tried to get Dumbledore's attention. Finally, her fists sore from striking stone, the gargoyle began to move. Hermione sprinted up the stairs and threw open the door to Dumbledore's office.
"Ms. Granger," Dumbledore asked with a concerned look on his face, "what wrong?"
"It's Harry, sir. He's left, he's gone!" she cried, and then collapsed into a chair as her tears began anew. "I tried to stop him, but I couldn't. He wouldn't listen to me. He just left me!" she wailed.
Dumbledore grew alarmed. He knelt next to the weeping girl and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Where did Mr. Potter go?"
"I don't know," she replied between sobs. "He had his broomstick and his trunk and he just flew away, over the Forbidden Forest."
Dumbledore nodded. "Please stay here Ms. Granger. I must alert the Order and find Mr. Potter." Hermione nodded as Dumbledore left his office; she didn't have the strength left to do anything, anyways.
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About twenty minutes later, Dumbledore returned with Professors McGonnagal and Snape in tow, looking rather concerned. "Ms. Granger," he started. "Unfortunately we have been unable to locate Mr. Potter. The only evidence we have is this letter we found in Mr. Potter's own handwriting," Dumbledore said, handing a piece of parchment to Hermione. She read it:
I'm leaving. Hogwarts provides neither the protection nor the training I require. Do not look for me.
- Harry
"As you can see, the letter does not provide any details," Dumbledore said. "In the hopes that we might find some clue, would you tell us everything that happened?"
Hermione nodded. She took a deep breath, and proceeded to explain the events of the night, leaving no detail out. Her voice caught several times, and twice she needed to pause to collect herself, but her story was told. Professor Snape looked incensed.
"That proves it! Mr. Potter is nothing but a self-centered little brat, concerned with only his own needs! I knew we should never have placed our hopes on him; he was bound to fail us," Snape said, practically spitting out the words. Before Hermione could react, Dumbledore spoke.
"No Severus," he said in a low tone. "It is not Harry who failed us. Rather, we have failed Harry; to be more specific, I have failed Harry. I have not endeared myself to the boy, he had no reason to trust me after last year," he said sadly. "We will continue to look for him though; we must bring him home safely."
Professors McGonnagal and Snape nodded (though Snape looked less then convinced), then left. Dumbledore turned his attention back to Hermione. "Unfortunately, finding Mr. Potter is one thing, convincing him to return is another. Can I count on you and Mr. Weasley to help us to convince him to come back?"
Hermione nodded. "Of course Professor!"
Dumbledore smiled, his first smile since Hermione first walked into his office that night. "Very good. Now, I suggest you get some sleep. With luck, we may need your assistance tomorrow."
Hermione gave a faint smile. "I hope so Professor. Good night," she said, then left Dumbledore's office. She made her way back to Gryffindor tower. No one was awake. She was too emotionally drained to re-live her experience with Ron, so Hermione went to her dorm room and went to sleep.
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Hermione awoke the next morning with a splitting headache. At first, as she lay in bed feeling sorry for herself, she had half-managed to convince herself that it was all just a horrible nightmare. When she noticed she still wore the clothes she wore last night, not her normal dressing gown, she knew it was real. She remembered Lavender trying to wake her up for breakfast, but she begged off, citing her headache. For the next thirty minutes Hermione simply lay in bed, not wishing to get up and face reality. But her grumbling stomach, so used to food by now, reminded her that she couldn't stay in bed all day. Reluctantly, Hermione changed her clothes and left for the Great Hall, her roommates and other Gryffindors already at breakfast. When Hermione entered the Great Hall, she noticed the festive mood that permeated the room. Then she remembered that yesterday was the last day of Fall Term, and today the Hogwarts Express would be taking everyone home for winter break. And unlike years' past, Harry wouldn't be staying at Hogwarts. As she made her way towards the Gryffindor table, Eddie intercepted her.
"Hermione, you look…well, you look horrible. What's wrong?" he said, concerned.
Hermione gave him a weak laugh. "Gee thanks Eddie, you don't look so good yourself," she joked feebly.
"I'm serious Hermione, what's the matter?" he persisted. However, Hermione brushed him off.
"It's nothing Eddie. I'll talk to you later, Ok?" she said. Without waiting for a reply, Hermione left Eddie standing with a look of hurt and confusion on his face as she sat next to Ron at the Gryffindor table.
"Are you OK, Hermione?" Ron asked, just as concerned as Eddie was.
"Ron," she said, looking very distraught. All of a sudden, she burst into tears and hugged Ron. "He's gone, Ron! We've failed him, and Harry's left Hogwarts!"
Ron was speechless. "Gone?" he said.
Hermione nodded, then broke the embrace. She quietly told Ron about the events of last night, skimming over only the parts that were too difficult to mention. Ron looked distraught after she finished.
"Don't worry Hermione," he said reassuringly. "I'm sure Dumbledore will find Harry soon, and he'll be back just in time for Winter Term to start."
"Do you really believe that?"
Ron nodded, but Hermione could see the doubt in his eyes.
"You have to eat something Hermione. The train leaves right after breakfast so you won't be able to eat again until you get home."
Hermione sighed, and then grabbed a piece of toast and a goblet of pumpkin juice.
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Winter break crawled along for Hermione; it was shaping up to be the longest three weeks of her life. Each day she waited hopefully for an owl from Dumbledore saying they had found Harry, but that owl never came. Eddie had written to her a few times, but her responses were short and vague; he stopped writing. Two days after Christmas, as Hermione was sitting in her room, staring at the open book before her, her mother knocked gently and entered her room.
"Hermione, honey?" Dr. Granger asked. Hermione looked up, startled out of her reverie. "Are you ok, sweetie?"
Hermione made a noncommittal noise, "I'm fine mum."
Dr. Granger walked into Hermione's room and sat quietly on the bed, looking at her daughter. After a moment, she spoke. "You're father and I know something's bothering you, honey. Do you remember our conversation after you came home last summer," she asked.
"I remember."
"Your father and I were so worried when you came home injured. We always knew there was some part of your life that you were keeping from us, but we never imagined that your life was in danger. Remember the deal we made, Honey? We wouldn't try to take you out of Hogwarts as long as you promised to talk to us. Please talk to us," Dr. Granger pleaded to her only child.
Hermione sat still for a moment. Then she turned to face her mother, her eyes wet from tears. She flung herself into her mother's arms and started weeping. Dr. Granger closed her eyes and embraced her daughter, content with holding her for now. After a while, Hermione pulled away and sat next to her mother on her bed, wiping her tears on her sleeve. She gave a small laugh.
"Sorry, Mum. I got your shirt all wet," she said sniffling, pointing to her mother's shoulder where her tears fell.
Dr. Granger chuckled. "It's ok Honey. Do you want to talk about it? Did that Voldemort do something again?"
"It's worse than that," Hermione said. "So much worse." She told her mother everything that happened at the end of last year. How mean she had been to Harry. How he had been kidnapped (but left out the torture), and then somehow escaped and saved the school again. And how he left. Through it all, Dr. Granger listened with compassion, and at the end they shared another tight embrace.
"I'm sure Harry will be alright Honey. From what you've told me about him, he's very resourceful."
"I know Mum," Hermione said. "But it's not just that. Don't you see? I've failed him! He's out there thinking that I don't care about him anymore!" she wailed, causing a fresh round of tears and another hug from her mother.
"Shhh, shhh. It'll be OK. You said yourself Dumbledore is the greatest wizard alive. He'll find Harry, and then you can sit his stubborn behind down and explain everything. It'll be OK."
Hermione nodded through her tears. She pulled away and looked at her mother. "Thanks for listening Mum. I feel a little better now," she said, a half-smile on her lips.
"You're welcome Honey; you're father and I will always be here for you. You just wait; Harry will probably be at school when you arrive looking embarrassed at his behavior." After Hermione nodded, Dr. Granger continued. "Now come on down for dinner. We still have leftovers from Christmas dinner to finish," she said with a smile.
"Ok. Give me a minute to freshen up." Dr. Granger nodded, then left. Hermione gave one last glance out her window, looking for the tell tale signs of an owl. Finding none, she sighed and wiped her eyes, then went downstairs to join her parents.