A/N: Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming, it really helps my creative juices. I've probably added about three chapters worth of material based on them. Even the little things count. For example, onkel, leothelion3, and ksmcan brought up Hermione in their reviews, it got me thinking. I wanted to portray her feelings about Harry, but then I became worried that I might make her seem too dependent on him and not strong and confident enough. So, I basically added all of Chapter 13 and 14 because of that. That's two chapters based on a few comments on Hermione. Also, a bunch of people (Romm, Ash, and Belle) questioned Harry's decision to leave and wondered how he would train himself. I reread the chapters I wrote about Harry's adventures by himself and realized I could add a lot more about exactly those two things, so I threw in a paragraph here and a paragraph there.
Anyways, here's the latest. I hope you enjoy!
12. Life Continues
Hermione experienced a whirlwind of conflicting emotions as the Hogwarts Express approached Hogsmeade station. Fear battled with hope, while anticipation wrestled with dread. She desperately wanted to believe her mother's words: that Harry would be waiting for her in the common room, a sheepish look on his face as he apologized for running off. But another part of her feared he wouldn't be back; that he was still out there, thinking that she had abandoned him.
Ron and Ginny, who had been told of Harry's departure, sat across from Hermione, each lost in their own thoughts. Hermione knew that Ron felt just as guilty as she, and Ginny was probably feeling upset that she hadn't noticed any clues or had the opportunity to talk to Harry. As the Express entered Hogsmeade station and the students departed, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny silently made their way to the carriages. Once they reached Hogwarts, Eddie tried to catch Hermione's attention, but all she could manage was a small smile and weak embrace. They exchanged pleasantries and small talk before Hermione excused herself and ran to the common room, hoping to find Harry there. He wasn't.
At the Welcome Back Feast, Hermione was expecting another announcement about Harry by Dumbledore, but not came. With a heavy heart, Hermione returned to the common room for McGonnagal's start-of-term speech. Hermione found a seat next to Ron and Ginny as Professor McGonnagal gave out reminders and notices about Winter Term. By the time McGonnagal was winding down, the Gryffindors were restless.
"I have one final announcement to make," McGonnagal said. Her voice was tense and sad, and was such a change from her normal strict and businesslike tone that all the students immediately quieted down and sat up straighter. "It is with extreme regret that I have to announce that Harry Potter has withdrawn from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. No one on Hogwarts staff, myself included, knows how to contact him, so please do not ask us to pass along messages. We also don't know where he went or what he is doing. That is all." With a final look at her Gryffindors, McGonnagal exited the portrait hole. As soon as she left, the common room exploded with questions, all directed towards Ron and Hermione.
"Harry's gone?"
"Where did he go?"
"Why did he leave?"
"Did he say anything to you?"
"Do you know if he'll be back?"
"What are we going to do about a seeker?"
Ron and Hermione begged off, saying time and time again that they knew nothing, which was the truth. Their answers were met with a few skeptical looks, but after awhile it became clear that the two friends were just as upset as the rest of Gryffindor House. Eventually they were left to themselves, as the House tried to come to acceptance with the surprising news. Ron and Hermione sat by the fire in silence until it was time for bed.
By breakfast of the next day, the news had spread around Hogwarts. Everyone knew Harry Potter had left. Typically, the Slytherin's attempted to make Harry's disappearance as a result of cowardice, but their comments were met with a cold response by the rest of the school. A general feeling of confusion and curiosity filled the air, but underneath it all, Hermione also sensed a bit of fear. No one said anything specific, but she heard it nonetheless.
"What are we going to do now that Harry Potter's gone?"
"Don't worry, Dumbledore's still here. Voldemort won't try anything with Dumbledore in charge."
Hermione sleep-walked through her morning classes, her mind elsewhere; it was fortunate that she had already read her materials through Spring Term. During her final class of the day, she and Ron received a note from a nervous first year, asking them to report to Dumbledore's office after dinner. As requested, they climbed the stone steps to Dumbledore's office in the hopes of hearing some news about their missing best friend.
"Ah, Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley. Please sit down," Dumbledore greeted them. Ron and Hermione sat and looked at Dumbledore expectantly. "Unfortunately," Dumbledore said with a grave face, "we have found no information about Harry's whereabouts over winter break. However, we have all our Order members trying to find some news about him. It may be that, sometime soon, we may hear a lead or rumor about Harry's location. We could use your assistance should that time come. Would you be willing to drop everything, classes, homework," he said, looking at Hermione, "and even Quidditch practice," he said, looking at Ron, "and leave Hogwarts at a moment's notice to search for Harry?"
Ron and Hermione agreed without hesitation. Dumbledore looked pleased, and then dismissed the two students. When they reached Gryffindor tower, the two best friends tried to return to normalcy: Hermione pulled out her homework while Ron struck up a Quidditch-conversation with Dean. But neither could get the welfare of their missing friend completely out of the minds.
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The next day, the Daily Prophet carried the headlines: HARRY POTTER MISSING! Almost half of the edition was focused on Harry Potter and his disappearance, impressive considering his disappearance was revealed only yesterday. There were stories about his defeat and subsequent battles with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and a reprint of the article on his award of the Order of Merlin (3rd Class). His exploits at Hogwarts were covered, including Harry being the "youngest seeker in a century." There were quotes by "close, personal friends" who never talked to him before, as well as comments concerned Ministry officials who only last year called him delusional. One full page was dedicated to trying to figure out why Harry left Hogwarts (ranging from secret training to unrequited love), and another two pages on what Harry might be doing and might be right now. Somewhat surprising, given the Daily Prophets record on covering Harry Potter, there were no theories that Harry Potter turned to darkness (however, considering the political capital Cornelius Fudge invested in Harry, Hermione figured the Minster of Magic would have a say in Harry's coverage by the media).
Two weeks later, the general hustle and bustle at Hogwarts had returned. Ron, not without feeling a little guilty, succeeded Harry as Quidditch captain. Ron was the logical choice, being the oldest player, arguably the most Quidditch-crazy, and a prefect to boot. Much to her dismay, Ginny returned to the seeker position, and try-outs for another chaser were held. Ron quickly dove into his position as Captain with enthusiasm, dedicating the season to Harry and studying training methods and strategies with relish. Hermione even helped Ron "study" Quidditch and develop plays, feeling that it would be important to Harry that the team did well despite his absence.
Ron and Hermione's first chance to join a search for Harry arrived while both were in Care of Magical Creatures. A frantic looking second year ran up to Professor Grubbly-Planks (while still maintaining a safe distance from the fearsome-looking creature tethered behind her) and handed her a note. "Granger and Weasley," she called out, after reading the note. "Report to the headmaster's office immediately." Without a word, Ron and Hermione gathered their things and sprinted towards the castle. They found Professors Dumbledore and McGonnagal waiting. Without preamble, Dumbledore spoke, "an Order member believes he spotted Mr. Potter in Diagon Alley. I've connected my fireplace to the floo network, and we will floo over to the Leaky Cauldron immediately." Ron and Hermione nodded, and then grabbed some floo powder from the bag in McGonnagal's outstretched hand. After a spin through the floo network, the four travelers arrived in the Leaky Cauldron. "Time is of the essence," Dumbledore said. "We'll split up and meet back here in two hours." McGonnagal, Ron, and Hermione nodded, then the four left to look for Harry. Dumbledore headed towards Knockturn Alley, just in case Harry might have some use for the stores there. McGonnagal went to Gringott's, hoping to discover if Harry had accessed his vault; it was felt that the goblins, famous for the confidentiality and discretion, had the least chance of intimidating McGonnagal. Ron and Hermione split up, with Hermione covering Madam Malkin's to Quality Quidditch Supplies, and Ron searching from Ollivander's to Magical Menagerie.
Initially, Hermione had been excited and hopeful, half-expecting to find that trademark messy hair and piercing green eyes at every turn. Now, as she finished peeking through the window at Eeylops Owl Emporium, she felt despondent. It was getting late, and after one hour and forty-five minutes she had covered her area of Diagon Alley twice with no sign of Harry. Hermione approached Madam Malkin's to finish her circuit, when she noticed a man with dark, messy walking out of Flourish & Blott's. Excited, Hermione ran after the man; catching up to him, she grabbed him by the arm and spun him around, causing him to drop his shopping bag of books.
"Harry!" she exclaimed happily, only to have her hopes quickly dashed. The man was not Harry. Although he was of the same height and build, the man she had so hoped was Harry had blue eyes, wire-rim glasses, and dirty blond hair, which she had thought was black in the increasing shadows of Diagon Alley. And no scar. Embarrassed, Hermione muttered an apology and ran off, the stranger giving her an odd look as she departed.
Returning to the Leaky Cauldron she was not surprised to find that the others had found nothing as well. They agreed to eat dinner at the Leaky Cauldron, since dinner at Hogwart's had passed. Over a decidedly depressing atmosphere, the four discussed the latest, though scant, news about Harry, and the possible things he might have gotten himself into. After a quick floo, Ron and Hermione made their way to the common room, where they caught up on their missed classes.
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Hermione sat in the library, trying to focus on the text in front of her. Her mind, unfortunately, refused to cooperate as she thought about Harry, thinking on whether they had just missed him in Diagon Alley, wondering how close they had been to finding him. She spotted Eddie Carmichael enter the library and make his way towards her table. She felt slightly guilty; she hadn't talked much to him since winter break ended. In fact, she had practically ignored him, only exchanging pleasantries but avoiding his attempts to talk to her. And he did try his best to be there for Hermione, he was a good man who deserved better than a girlfriend who wasn't really there. She appreciated his efforts, but there so many things that she couldn't put into words, so many things she felt he just wouldn't understand.
"Hi Hermione," Eddie said, looking nervous. "Can we talk?" he asked, indicated that he wanted to talk outside the library.
"Sure," she said, getting up and following him. To her great dismay, he was heading towards the same classroom where she and Harry had their argument. She paused momentarily before following him in. "Eddie-," she began.
"No, please, let me start," Eddie said. He took a moment to compose himself, then started. "We've been together for a while now, and it's been great, at least for me. I think we could become something special, Hermione," Eddie said, taking her hands in his own. "I know you're going through a very rough time right now, and I want you to know I'm here for you if you want to talk about it."
Hermione looked up at Eddie. "I know Eddie, you've been wonderful to me, and so patient. But," she said, faltering slightly. "but, it just won't work out, between you and me. You deserve better than me."
Eddie looked at her, the hurt on his face evident. "What do you mean, Hermione? Why won't it work?"
"You're a wonderful man, Eddie. You're smart, kind, and attractive, and you deserve a girlfriend who puts you first, who loves you with all of her heart. I just can't give that to you right now. I can't be the kind of girl that you deserve," Hermione said, tears forming in her eyes.
Eddie gently brushed her tears away, then nodded. "I still think we'd have been great together," he said, and then pulled her into a hug. They broke apart, and Eddie gave her a small smile before walking out of the classroom. Hermione leaned against the wall and sank to the ground. She didn't regret was she'd done, but it didn't make her feel any better. That's two hearts she'd broken in a matter of months, Ron's and Eddie's. And if you include Harry, that's three. Hermione cried a bit, before drying her eyes on her sleeve and returning to the library.