Greetings! I have returned. I do have another story for you! I do love reading your reviews. They be quite funny, especially the flames. I do love flames; however, I do love reviews even more. Remember, do R/R!!! Thanks to SteelBlade! My first flame! I do feel loved! Though for any future flamers, please do be a little more detailed. I do like to know what people do dislike about my stories. And thanks to everyone else who reviewed my story! White-wolf and Nynaeve Sedai, I really do like your stories. And I will try to kill Rand more often, since so many people do like him dying. He do be a woolhead.
And this do be for the picky people who be thinking of sueing me:
Disclaimer: Robert Jordan does own the characters in this story. And I did borrow the "Lewser" name for the Dragon from Wildkat. I do no own anything, no even myself. Really! I do be a damane in Seanchan. I do be property. Oh, woe do be me! Okay, this do be enough about me. On with the story!
Oh, and by the way, what do you think of my Illianer accent? I don't even know why I used an Illianer accent. I find Illianers annoying. Anyhoodles.....
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Chapter 2 - The Consequences of Angering a Spear Maiden
written by She Who Walks the Night (formerly Snow Fox)
*~*~*~*
Elayne studies Egwene like she had just dropped out of the sky and turned into a pink-spotted kangaroo. "No, really, Egwene, why did you dump Rand? He is, like, such a hottie!"
Egwene sighs. "You don't believe my story about it being the right thing to do, that I did it because you're my friend, so I'll tell you this: I did it because I love Gawyn."
Elayne's mouth drops open. "My brother Gawyn?!" she squeaks.
Egwene nods. "Yep."
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" the scream rips from Elayne's mouth. "My poor brother! NOOOOO!!!!!" She then trails off into incoherent wails.
"Gee, that's nice," Egwene mutters. "I thought we were supposed to be friends." She frowns at Elayne. "You know, you sound like Lews Therin."
Elayne blinks. "You mean Lewser? The dude that Rand claims lives in his head and acts crazy and screams about his dead wife a lot?"
"How dare you say my first-sister is like Lews Therin Telamon!" Aviendha screeches. She leaps for Egwene's throat, brandishing a knife.
"Help me, Elayne!" Egwene begs, trying to fend off the enraged Aielwoman.
Elayne watches Egwene and Aviendha struggle for a moment, then embraces saidar. "Sorry, Egwene, my sister means more to me than you. Little Mistress Priss the Amyrlin, always thinking you can get your own way just because you wear the stole for our exiled group." She uses Air to pull Aviendha off of Egwene.
Aviendha gives Elayne a glare that is an interesting mixture of anger and surprise. "Hey!" she yells. "What'd you do that for?"
"Thank you, Elayne!" Egwene says, giving Elayne a grateful, relieved expression.
"Not so fast..." Elayne throws a bar of balefire at Elayne.
"Are you stupid, Elayne?! NOOOO--" Egwene is abruptly cut off as the balefire hits her. She disappears, her thread burned from the Pattern.
Elayne turns to Aviendha. "Sorry, Aviendha, I didn't want to hit you with the balefire."
Aviendha nods. "That's okay, Elayne."
"By the way, where did you get that knife?" Elayne asks the Aiel.
"This?" Aviendha twirls the knife. "Min Farshaw gave it to me."
Elayne nods thoughtfully. "That's good. I think."
Aviendha nods. "It is."
"Okay," Elayne says cheerily. "Let's go find Min. She's somewhere on this continent."
"Okay," Aviendha agrees.
Talaan walks in. "Is Nynaeve here?" she inquirs, looking around the room.
Aviendha shakes her head. "Nope. She ran off with Ra--the Car'a'Carn, and she's probably off making out with Aan'allein somewhere."
"Okay, thanks." The Atha'an Miere woman gives Aviendha a bright smile, then leaves.
"Aviendha! That wasn't very polite!" Elayne scolds her "sister."
Aviendha shrugs. "Well, it is the truth."
Elayne nods reluctantly. "I guess it is. You know, I need to go and find Gawyn and tell him that Elaida blasted Egwene into oblivion. That way, he won't have to marry Egwene, and he'll hate Elaida!" She smiles brightly, pleased at how her plan succeeded.
"Ummm...... Elayne?" Aviendha says.
"Yes?"
"Since you killed Egwene, your group of Aes Sedai doesn't have an Amyrlin anymore," Aviendha informs her.
"Whoopsies!" Elayne said, rather blondly.
***
A/N: Is blondly even a word? *runs to look it up in the dictionary* Blondness and blondish are words, but blondly isn't. So, I just made up a new word. Yay for me! "Blond" is a really weird word if you look at it for too long. Um, okay, enough about blonds and blond-related words.
***
Aviendha rolls her eyes. "Why did I adopt you as a first-sister? You're annoying and stupid. I like Min Farshaw better."
"WHAT?!" Elayne screeches, not believing what she heard.
In answer, Aviendha pulls out a spear and jabs it through Elayne's ribs.
"I hate you," is the last thing Elayne says before she croaks.
"DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!!!!" Aviendha sings loudly. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Now Dyelin Taravin can be Queen of Andor instead of that snitty little goat. And Siuan Sanche can be Amyrlin again! I'm good!"
Aviendha dances happily for a moment, the kind of dance not involving spears or other weapons. "Hmm...." she mumbles. She pulls her spear out of Elayne's corpse, getting blood on her hands in the process. "Ewwies! Elayne blood!" she screams, wiping her hands frantically on her skirt. She then pulls out a poison-tipped knife out of her pocket and places it in the hole the spear left in Elayne.
"Nynaeve was so nice to put the poison on this knife. I just wish I had remembered it before I messed up my spear," she mutters. Finally, she drops Elayne's corpse out the window and brushes off her hands. "That takes care of that," she says briskly.
Min comes in. "Have you seen Elayne?" she asks.
"Nope, haven't seen her all day," Aviendha answers, her face an unreadable Aiel mask. "So, tell me, Min, what's the deal with the auras and stuff?" she asks casually.
"Well...." Min begins.
The two woman leave the room, Min attempting to explain the fine points of her viewings.
Meanwhile, back in the room, Moghedian steps out from behind a chair. "Damn it," she mutters. "I wanted to kill the al'Vere girl and the Trakand girl. Oh well, there's still Nynaeve al'Meara."
A disembodied voice whispers, "Oh, Mogie, it's time for my foot massage."
"Can't Cyndane do it this time?" Moghedian whines.
"No, I want you to. You give the best foot massages," the voice answers.
Moghedian shudders at the thought of having to rub someone's disgusting feet. "Okay, Moridin, I'll be there in just a second."
"I'm waiting," Moridin's voice seems to echo through the room."
Moghedian embraces saidar and weaves a gateway. She steps through it, and as it is closing, a scolding male voice is heard--Moridin's--and a whining female voice--Moghedian's--is heard answering.
"But, Moridin--" Moghedian tries to say.
"No buts, Mogie. I want you here on time for my foot massages! Now, go and get that one bottle of lotion, the one that smells like daisies," Moridin commands.
"Yes, Moridin," Moghedian says submissively, shuddering as he caressed her cour'souvra. Incoherent grumbling floats from Moghedian as she enters the pink storage room containing all of Moridin's lotions and oils and.... well, I don't think you want to know what else is in there....
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I like Moghedian. She's so much like me...... *blinks and becomes aware of readers* Oh, you're done with the story! Good! Now R/R, or I'll sic Aviendha on you. She's right there, and she looks bored. *points to a tall red-haired woman in the corner who is scrubbing blood off a spear* Or I'll sic Semirhage on you! (*A meow is heard.*) Shut up, Semirhage! Okay, um, R/R, 'kay? Or else...... um.... I won't post the next story! Now, R/R!!!!!
Oh, and SteelBlade, I like slapstick randomness, but I read your Tarmon Gai'don fic, and it's really good. And thank you, flame again. And Amaranth Sedai, your Zelda fic is funny, considering I know next to nothing about Zelda. I decided to tell you all this here 'cause I'm too lazy to review.
Thank you everybody for reviewing!
And this do be for the picky people who be thinking of sueing me:
Disclaimer: Robert Jordan does own the characters in this story. And I did borrow the "Lewser" name for the Dragon from Wildkat. I do no own anything, no even myself. Really! I do be a damane in Seanchan. I do be property. Oh, woe do be me! Okay, this do be enough about me. On with the story!
Oh, and by the way, what do you think of my Illianer accent? I don't even know why I used an Illianer accent. I find Illianers annoying. Anyhoodles.....
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Chapter 2 - The Consequences of Angering a Spear Maiden
written by She Who Walks the Night (formerly Snow Fox)
*~*~*~*
Elayne studies Egwene like she had just dropped out of the sky and turned into a pink-spotted kangaroo. "No, really, Egwene, why did you dump Rand? He is, like, such a hottie!"
Egwene sighs. "You don't believe my story about it being the right thing to do, that I did it because you're my friend, so I'll tell you this: I did it because I love Gawyn."
Elayne's mouth drops open. "My brother Gawyn?!" she squeaks.
Egwene nods. "Yep."
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" the scream rips from Elayne's mouth. "My poor brother! NOOOOO!!!!!" She then trails off into incoherent wails.
"Gee, that's nice," Egwene mutters. "I thought we were supposed to be friends." She frowns at Elayne. "You know, you sound like Lews Therin."
Elayne blinks. "You mean Lewser? The dude that Rand claims lives in his head and acts crazy and screams about his dead wife a lot?"
"How dare you say my first-sister is like Lews Therin Telamon!" Aviendha screeches. She leaps for Egwene's throat, brandishing a knife.
"Help me, Elayne!" Egwene begs, trying to fend off the enraged Aielwoman.
Elayne watches Egwene and Aviendha struggle for a moment, then embraces saidar. "Sorry, Egwene, my sister means more to me than you. Little Mistress Priss the Amyrlin, always thinking you can get your own way just because you wear the stole for our exiled group." She uses Air to pull Aviendha off of Egwene.
Aviendha gives Elayne a glare that is an interesting mixture of anger and surprise. "Hey!" she yells. "What'd you do that for?"
"Thank you, Elayne!" Egwene says, giving Elayne a grateful, relieved expression.
"Not so fast..." Elayne throws a bar of balefire at Elayne.
"Are you stupid, Elayne?! NOOOO--" Egwene is abruptly cut off as the balefire hits her. She disappears, her thread burned from the Pattern.
Elayne turns to Aviendha. "Sorry, Aviendha, I didn't want to hit you with the balefire."
Aviendha nods. "That's okay, Elayne."
"By the way, where did you get that knife?" Elayne asks the Aiel.
"This?" Aviendha twirls the knife. "Min Farshaw gave it to me."
Elayne nods thoughtfully. "That's good. I think."
Aviendha nods. "It is."
"Okay," Elayne says cheerily. "Let's go find Min. She's somewhere on this continent."
"Okay," Aviendha agrees.
Talaan walks in. "Is Nynaeve here?" she inquirs, looking around the room.
Aviendha shakes her head. "Nope. She ran off with Ra--the Car'a'Carn, and she's probably off making out with Aan'allein somewhere."
"Okay, thanks." The Atha'an Miere woman gives Aviendha a bright smile, then leaves.
"Aviendha! That wasn't very polite!" Elayne scolds her "sister."
Aviendha shrugs. "Well, it is the truth."
Elayne nods reluctantly. "I guess it is. You know, I need to go and find Gawyn and tell him that Elaida blasted Egwene into oblivion. That way, he won't have to marry Egwene, and he'll hate Elaida!" She smiles brightly, pleased at how her plan succeeded.
"Ummm...... Elayne?" Aviendha says.
"Yes?"
"Since you killed Egwene, your group of Aes Sedai doesn't have an Amyrlin anymore," Aviendha informs her.
"Whoopsies!" Elayne said, rather blondly.
***
A/N: Is blondly even a word? *runs to look it up in the dictionary* Blondness and blondish are words, but blondly isn't. So, I just made up a new word. Yay for me! "Blond" is a really weird word if you look at it for too long. Um, okay, enough about blonds and blond-related words.
***
Aviendha rolls her eyes. "Why did I adopt you as a first-sister? You're annoying and stupid. I like Min Farshaw better."
"WHAT?!" Elayne screeches, not believing what she heard.
In answer, Aviendha pulls out a spear and jabs it through Elayne's ribs.
"I hate you," is the last thing Elayne says before she croaks.
"DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!!!!" Aviendha sings loudly. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Now Dyelin Taravin can be Queen of Andor instead of that snitty little goat. And Siuan Sanche can be Amyrlin again! I'm good!"
Aviendha dances happily for a moment, the kind of dance not involving spears or other weapons. "Hmm...." she mumbles. She pulls her spear out of Elayne's corpse, getting blood on her hands in the process. "Ewwies! Elayne blood!" she screams, wiping her hands frantically on her skirt. She then pulls out a poison-tipped knife out of her pocket and places it in the hole the spear left in Elayne.
"Nynaeve was so nice to put the poison on this knife. I just wish I had remembered it before I messed up my spear," she mutters. Finally, she drops Elayne's corpse out the window and brushes off her hands. "That takes care of that," she says briskly.
Min comes in. "Have you seen Elayne?" she asks.
"Nope, haven't seen her all day," Aviendha answers, her face an unreadable Aiel mask. "So, tell me, Min, what's the deal with the auras and stuff?" she asks casually.
"Well...." Min begins.
The two woman leave the room, Min attempting to explain the fine points of her viewings.
Meanwhile, back in the room, Moghedian steps out from behind a chair. "Damn it," she mutters. "I wanted to kill the al'Vere girl and the Trakand girl. Oh well, there's still Nynaeve al'Meara."
A disembodied voice whispers, "Oh, Mogie, it's time for my foot massage."
"Can't Cyndane do it this time?" Moghedian whines.
"No, I want you to. You give the best foot massages," the voice answers.
Moghedian shudders at the thought of having to rub someone's disgusting feet. "Okay, Moridin, I'll be there in just a second."
"I'm waiting," Moridin's voice seems to echo through the room."
Moghedian embraces saidar and weaves a gateway. She steps through it, and as it is closing, a scolding male voice is heard--Moridin's--and a whining female voice--Moghedian's--is heard answering.
"But, Moridin--" Moghedian tries to say.
"No buts, Mogie. I want you here on time for my foot massages! Now, go and get that one bottle of lotion, the one that smells like daisies," Moridin commands.
"Yes, Moridin," Moghedian says submissively, shuddering as he caressed her cour'souvra. Incoherent grumbling floats from Moghedian as she enters the pink storage room containing all of Moridin's lotions and oils and.... well, I don't think you want to know what else is in there....
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I like Moghedian. She's so much like me...... *blinks and becomes aware of readers* Oh, you're done with the story! Good! Now R/R, or I'll sic Aviendha on you. She's right there, and she looks bored. *points to a tall red-haired woman in the corner who is scrubbing blood off a spear* Or I'll sic Semirhage on you! (*A meow is heard.*) Shut up, Semirhage! Okay, um, R/R, 'kay? Or else...... um.... I won't post the next story! Now, R/R!!!!!
Oh, and SteelBlade, I like slapstick randomness, but I read your Tarmon Gai'don fic, and it's really good. And thank you, flame again. And Amaranth Sedai, your Zelda fic is funny, considering I know next to nothing about Zelda. I decided to tell you all this here 'cause I'm too lazy to review.
Thank you everybody for reviewing!