I have another story for you. It concerns everyone's favorite character. Guess who it is. *waits a few seconds* You don't know who it is? His name starts with an 'M'. *waits a few more seconds* Still not? His name ends with a 'T'. *waits a few more seconds* *rolls eyes* The middle letter in his name is an 'A'. *waits for a few seconds* I hope you aren't really this stupid. His name is spelled 'M-A-T'. *waits, praying the Light will shine some intelligence into someone* Mothers' milk in a cup! You really are stupid, aren't you? His name is Mat! It's Mat, you woolhead! Everyone loves Mat! Now, here's the story. Oh, and by the way, this is my idea of how he finds out, if Tylin hadn't run off, if Mat had stayed, if Teslyn hadn't been rescued, and if Tuon hadn't been kidnapped. Okay? Okay.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Wheel of Time series. If I did, I would be writing FANfics?
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Chapter 3 - Mat and the Daughter of the Nine Moons
written by She Who Walks the Night (formerly Snow Fox)
*~*~*~*
Mat sits miserably in his chambers, awaiting the inevitable. And what do you know! A serving woman enters, wearing a big smile. "The Queen has stabbed the bedpost," she informs him.
Mat whimpers. "Okay."
The serving woman snickers, casts him an amused look, then leaves the room.
Mat heaves a huge a sigh. "It's off to face the eagle again," he mutters. He shuffles down the hall to the Queen's rooms. Eyes widening, he leaps back a step. "Huh?!" he exclaims, oh so eloquently.
"Hello, Mat," a short, bald girl says from her perch on the Queen's bed.
"Tu.... High Lady, what are you doing here???" Mat demands, forgetting all respect except for the title.
Tuon giggles. "Oh, Mat, please call me Tuon," she says, batting her brown eyes.
Mat blinks. "Um, okay. Tuon."
Tuon just giggles again.
"Why are you here, and where is Tylin?" Mat demands, momentarily courageous.
"Tylin had... other things to do," Tuon answers mysteriously. "And I wanted to be here."
"Why?"
"Because I can."
"Why?"
"Just because."
"Why?"
Tuon gets mad. "Because I'm the Daughter of the Nine Moons, you flaming idiot! I can do whatever I bloody well want!" she shrieks at him.
"WHAT?!" Mat exclaims. He groans. "I have to marry you?!"
"Huh?" Tuon says, puzzled. "How did you know what Lydia foretold?"
"Who's Lydia?" Mat asks.
"One of my damane," Tuon explains. "She told me my future. How did you know?"
"I went into a doorframe ter'angreal, and some snake-looking things on the other side told me I have to marry the Daughter of the Nine Moons, and... WHY AM I TELLING YOU ALL THIS?!!!" Mat explains, though the last part is more of a horrified yell.
Tuon looks thoughtful.
***
A/N: Can you imagine a short, bald girl looking thoughtful? *snickers*
***
"Where is this ter'angreal?" she asks.
"It melted when Moiraine was fighting Lanfear," Mat replied.
Tuon looks and sounds EXTREMELY suspicious. "Who is Moiraine?"
"An Aes Sedai. She and Lanfear killed each other," Mat says.
Tuon looks happier. "Oh, okay," she says brightly. "We can marry tomorrow, and you can help me command the Return. Do you know the Dragon Reborn, by the way?"
"Yeah."
Tuon looks shocked and delighted. She starts talking a hundred miles a second. "Really?! Oh, goodie! Now I can take him back to Seanchan to kneel before my mother!"
"Huh?" Mat looks baffled.
"The Prophecies of the Dragon say that the Dragon Reborn must kneel before the Crystal Throne, or else Tarmon Gai'don will be lost," Tuon explains in the same hundred-miles-a-second voice.
"Oh, Light, Rand isn't going to like this," Mat says. The mention of Rand's name causes Mat to see the swirly colors. "Bloody swirly colors," he growls.
Tuon continues to chatter. "Did you know that I'm the descendant of Artur Paendrag Tanreall? Isn't that neat?"
Mat actually looks interested. "Really? He was a great general, and he did brilliantly when he fought the Seanchan at Falme."
Tuon's happy chatter stops as she takes what he says in. "WHAT?!!!" she explodes after a moment.
Mat's eyes widen as he realizes what he said. "Oops."
Her tone dangerous, Tuon asks, "What do you mean, 'he fought at Falme'?"
Mat sounds flustered and stumbles over his words. "I... um... uh... I sounded the Horn of Valere, and he came back along with Birgitte Silverbow and Rogosh Eagle-eye and a bunch of other heroes to fight off your people and shove them back into the ocean. Oh, blood and bloody ashes! Why do I keep telling you this stuff??" He looks extremely unhappy with himself.
Tuon gives him an awed look. "The Horn of Valere has been found, and you sounded it?" she asks in almost a whisper.
Mat nods reluctantly.
Tuon looks thoughtful again. "Then you're as important as the Dragon Reborn himself in the Last Battle. You'll need to kneel before my mother as well."
"I have to kneel before some woman I've never even heard of before?" Mat asks, sounding like he'd rather not.
"Not just a woman!" Tuon exclaims indignantly. "She's my mother, and the Empress of Seanchan, may she live forever!"
Mat gives her a blank look. "I hate women," he says tonelessly. Then he runs from the room screaming.
Tuon runs after him, calling out, "Mat! Matsie-poo, come back!"
Mat ignores her, running to Teslyn's kennel in the damane place. "Teslyn! Kill me, please!" he begs.
The once-proud Aes Sedai asks, "Who do Teslyn be? My name do be Tessi."
"Just channel and kill me, please!" Mat pleads.
Tessi looks shocked. "Oh, Tessi could no do that! Tessi would get in big trouble!"
Mat's voice takes on a whining tone. "I have to flaming marry Tuon, the Daughter of the bloody Nine Moons! Kill me, now!"
Tessi shakes her head, then says, "Tessi does hope you do treat the Daughter of the Nine Moons well."
Mat sits down in the middle of the floor and cries.
Tuon enters the room, smiling brightly when she finds Mat. "There you are! Why are you in here?"
"I was visiting the damane," Mat says spiritlessly. "Here," he continues, handing Tuon a gold mark. "Buy Tessi a treat. She's a good damane."
Tuon giggles. "You are so sweet! Now, come, you need to start learning Seanchan customs if I'm going to marry you."
Mat sighs and gets up. "Okay."
Tuon pats Tessi on the head, then leaves the kennel. Mat follows her, grumbling, "Sheep swallop and bloody buttered onions! What have I gotten myself into???" He trails off into incoherent mutters.
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What do you think? I like this one best so far. Am I the only one to think that something just isn't right about the swirly colors? It makes Mat, Perrin, and Rand sound like they're on LSD. Yeah. Anyhoodles.... We're going to play Truth or Dare. I dare you to review. I don't care if it's a flame; flames are funny, and besides, it's cold in here. I need something to use to light a fire. If you review, your prize is another story. If you don't review.... umm.... what should I sic on you today? Ah, yes! In honor of the Daughter of the Nine Moons, I will sic the Seekers and the Deathwatch Guards on you! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You read it, so review it, please! Or else the Seekers and Deathwatch Guards are going to play a game with you called 'Torture the Person Who Didn't Review'. Doesn't that sound fun? If it doesn't, review!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Wheel of Time series. If I did, I would be writing FANfics?
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 3 - Mat and the Daughter of the Nine Moons
written by She Who Walks the Night (formerly Snow Fox)
*~*~*~*
Mat sits miserably in his chambers, awaiting the inevitable. And what do you know! A serving woman enters, wearing a big smile. "The Queen has stabbed the bedpost," she informs him.
Mat whimpers. "Okay."
The serving woman snickers, casts him an amused look, then leaves the room.
Mat heaves a huge a sigh. "It's off to face the eagle again," he mutters. He shuffles down the hall to the Queen's rooms. Eyes widening, he leaps back a step. "Huh?!" he exclaims, oh so eloquently.
"Hello, Mat," a short, bald girl says from her perch on the Queen's bed.
"Tu.... High Lady, what are you doing here???" Mat demands, forgetting all respect except for the title.
Tuon giggles. "Oh, Mat, please call me Tuon," she says, batting her brown eyes.
Mat blinks. "Um, okay. Tuon."
Tuon just giggles again.
"Why are you here, and where is Tylin?" Mat demands, momentarily courageous.
"Tylin had... other things to do," Tuon answers mysteriously. "And I wanted to be here."
"Why?"
"Because I can."
"Why?"
"Just because."
"Why?"
Tuon gets mad. "Because I'm the Daughter of the Nine Moons, you flaming idiot! I can do whatever I bloody well want!" she shrieks at him.
"WHAT?!" Mat exclaims. He groans. "I have to marry you?!"
"Huh?" Tuon says, puzzled. "How did you know what Lydia foretold?"
"Who's Lydia?" Mat asks.
"One of my damane," Tuon explains. "She told me my future. How did you know?"
"I went into a doorframe ter'angreal, and some snake-looking things on the other side told me I have to marry the Daughter of the Nine Moons, and... WHY AM I TELLING YOU ALL THIS?!!!" Mat explains, though the last part is more of a horrified yell.
Tuon looks thoughtful.
***
A/N: Can you imagine a short, bald girl looking thoughtful? *snickers*
***
"Where is this ter'angreal?" she asks.
"It melted when Moiraine was fighting Lanfear," Mat replied.
Tuon looks and sounds EXTREMELY suspicious. "Who is Moiraine?"
"An Aes Sedai. She and Lanfear killed each other," Mat says.
Tuon looks happier. "Oh, okay," she says brightly. "We can marry tomorrow, and you can help me command the Return. Do you know the Dragon Reborn, by the way?"
"Yeah."
Tuon looks shocked and delighted. She starts talking a hundred miles a second. "Really?! Oh, goodie! Now I can take him back to Seanchan to kneel before my mother!"
"Huh?" Mat looks baffled.
"The Prophecies of the Dragon say that the Dragon Reborn must kneel before the Crystal Throne, or else Tarmon Gai'don will be lost," Tuon explains in the same hundred-miles-a-second voice.
"Oh, Light, Rand isn't going to like this," Mat says. The mention of Rand's name causes Mat to see the swirly colors. "Bloody swirly colors," he growls.
Tuon continues to chatter. "Did you know that I'm the descendant of Artur Paendrag Tanreall? Isn't that neat?"
Mat actually looks interested. "Really? He was a great general, and he did brilliantly when he fought the Seanchan at Falme."
Tuon's happy chatter stops as she takes what he says in. "WHAT?!!!" she explodes after a moment.
Mat's eyes widen as he realizes what he said. "Oops."
Her tone dangerous, Tuon asks, "What do you mean, 'he fought at Falme'?"
Mat sounds flustered and stumbles over his words. "I... um... uh... I sounded the Horn of Valere, and he came back along with Birgitte Silverbow and Rogosh Eagle-eye and a bunch of other heroes to fight off your people and shove them back into the ocean. Oh, blood and bloody ashes! Why do I keep telling you this stuff??" He looks extremely unhappy with himself.
Tuon gives him an awed look. "The Horn of Valere has been found, and you sounded it?" she asks in almost a whisper.
Mat nods reluctantly.
Tuon looks thoughtful again. "Then you're as important as the Dragon Reborn himself in the Last Battle. You'll need to kneel before my mother as well."
"I have to kneel before some woman I've never even heard of before?" Mat asks, sounding like he'd rather not.
"Not just a woman!" Tuon exclaims indignantly. "She's my mother, and the Empress of Seanchan, may she live forever!"
Mat gives her a blank look. "I hate women," he says tonelessly. Then he runs from the room screaming.
Tuon runs after him, calling out, "Mat! Matsie-poo, come back!"
Mat ignores her, running to Teslyn's kennel in the damane place. "Teslyn! Kill me, please!" he begs.
The once-proud Aes Sedai asks, "Who do Teslyn be? My name do be Tessi."
"Just channel and kill me, please!" Mat pleads.
Tessi looks shocked. "Oh, Tessi could no do that! Tessi would get in big trouble!"
Mat's voice takes on a whining tone. "I have to flaming marry Tuon, the Daughter of the bloody Nine Moons! Kill me, now!"
Tessi shakes her head, then says, "Tessi does hope you do treat the Daughter of the Nine Moons well."
Mat sits down in the middle of the floor and cries.
Tuon enters the room, smiling brightly when she finds Mat. "There you are! Why are you in here?"
"I was visiting the damane," Mat says spiritlessly. "Here," he continues, handing Tuon a gold mark. "Buy Tessi a treat. She's a good damane."
Tuon giggles. "You are so sweet! Now, come, you need to start learning Seanchan customs if I'm going to marry you."
Mat sighs and gets up. "Okay."
Tuon pats Tessi on the head, then leaves the kennel. Mat follows her, grumbling, "Sheep swallop and bloody buttered onions! What have I gotten myself into???" He trails off into incoherent mutters.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
What do you think? I like this one best so far. Am I the only one to think that something just isn't right about the swirly colors? It makes Mat, Perrin, and Rand sound like they're on LSD. Yeah. Anyhoodles.... We're going to play Truth or Dare. I dare you to review. I don't care if it's a flame; flames are funny, and besides, it's cold in here. I need something to use to light a fire. If you review, your prize is another story. If you don't review.... umm.... what should I sic on you today? Ah, yes! In honor of the Daughter of the Nine Moons, I will sic the Seekers and the Deathwatch Guards on you! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You read it, so review it, please! Or else the Seekers and Deathwatch Guards are going to play a game with you called 'Torture the Person Who Didn't Review'. Doesn't that sound fun? If it doesn't, review!!!