Guess what! Psycho insane me is here with another story. And guess what else! I'm attempting to respond to a couple of requests for a story about Nynaeve or Nynaeve and Lan. I just hope you don't mind what I do to them. And just so you know, I didn't kill anyone in this story. I know, I know, you wanted another good massacre. Sorry, the voices in my head didn't like that idea today. Okay, I'm done rambling. Just read the story.
Disclaimer: This is the last disclaimer you'll see. I'm sick of telling you that I don't own WoT because it reminds me that I don't own it. I wish I owned Mat, though.... *sighs* Oh well.
Oh, and by the way, I am joined by some of my muses today: Lunara, goddess of the night, the moon, magic, and the occult arts; Serena Sedai of the Green Ajah; Moghedian, the Spider of the shadows; and Semirhage, the Mistress of Pain and Torture. They and I will be inserting our own comments about the story.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 4 - Whose Warder Is He?
written by She Who Walks the Night
*~*~*~*
Lan and Nynaeve walk through a forest--
***
Serena: What forest?
Luna: I don't know! It's just the universally-used forest. o.o'
Serena: Oh.
Luna: You should've been Brown Ajah with all the questions you ask.
Serena: Hey! You were the one who created me and made me Green Ajah!
Luna: :P
Serena: :P:P
Luna: :P:P:P:P:P
Serena: :P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P
Semmy: Enough! Or I'll torture you!
Luna & Serena: Okay, we're sorry.
***
--toward a clearing. And, at last, they reach their destination.
***
Lunara: Gee, who would've thunk it?
Luna: Thunk it?
Lunara: *shrugs* I've been in your head too long.
Luna: Okaaay, whatever...
***
Okay, so they're going to a clearing in the middle of some forest, and they finally get there.
"Why did Egwene want us to come back to the White Tower, Lannie-poo?" Nynaeve asks.
Lan sighs. "I don't know, Nyn. Just make the gateway, okay?"
Nynaeve shrugs, then uses the One Power to make a gateway for Skimming. First Lan, then Nynaeve steps through the gateway onto a platform decorated with herbs and yellow flowers.
***
Mogie: You're giving her a platform with yellow flowers and herbs?! I want to see some Nynny-bashing!
Luna: Patience, Moghedian, patience.
***
Suddenly, Lan sneezes.
Nynaeve gives Lan a concerned look. "What's wrong?"
Lan sneezes again. "I think I'm allergic to something here."
Nynaeve looks irritated. "Which one?"
Lan sneezes yet again. "How should I know?" He points at a random herb. "That one."
"Are you sure?" Nynaeve asks.
"No."
This earns him another irritated look from Nynaeve. She grumbles under her breath for a moment about men, then examines the herb Lan indicated. "Oh, wow, that's forkroot," she says, surprised.
"Shouldn't you do something about it?" Lan asks.
Nynaeve shakes her head. "No. The only way it can harm me is if I make a tea out of it and drink it."
This time, Nynaeve earns the irritated look. Lan sneezes, then says, "I mean, shouldn't you get rid of it? I'm getting tired of sneezing."
Nynaeve sweatdrops.
***
Serena: Sweatdrops? Isn't that an anime thing?
Luna: Yeah, so?
Serena: No reason. It's just that this is a WHEEL OF TIME fic... *mutters under her breath* ...or a sorry excuse for one.
Luna: Hey! I heard that!
Serena: ^_^
***
Anyhoodles...
Nynaeve uses threads of Fire to burn all the forkroot away. "Better?" she asks.
Lan breaths in, then sneezes again. "No," he answers, rubbing his nose.
Nynaeve looks extremely irritated. She uses Fire to burn away all the herbs on the platform. "How's that?"
Lan sneezes in answer.
Nynaeve looks outraged. "You're allergic to my flowers?!"
Lan shrugs. "I don't know. I guess so."
Nynaeve mutters something incoherent, but presumably profane, then uses Fire to burn all the flowers away. "There!" she exclaims. "They're gone!"
Lan takes a VERY deep breath. "That's better," he informs her.
Nynaeve grumbles some more.
The platform finally stops moving. Lan and Nynaeve step out of another gateway onto the White Tower grounds.
"Lannie-poo!" an Aes Sedai cries out, sounding delighted.
"Uh-oh," Lan says, eyes widening as he recognizes Myrelle.
Myrelle runs to Lan and hugs him.
"Hey! Quit that! He's mine!" Nynaeve yells.
"No! He's mine!" Myrelle yells in answer. She hugs Lan some more.
Our dear Yellow Aes Sedai--
***
Mogie: *makes a gagging sound*
Luna: *glares at Mogie*
Mogie: Heh...
***
--picks up a conveniently-placed stick and hits Myrelle with it. "Mine!" she screams.
Myrelle stops hugging Lan and picks up another conveniently-placed stick. She whacks Nynaeve with it. "Mine!" she shrieks back.
***
Mogie: Finally!
Luna: *rolls eyes* Uh-huh.
Mogie: Yay! Use that stick, Myrelle! Bash Nynny's head in!
Luna, Serena, & Semmy: 0.0'
Semmy: *under her breath* And I thought I was sadistic...
***
Lan clears his throat. "I wasn't aware I was property."
"You aren't. You're a Warder," Nynaeve informs him. She pauses for a moment, then says, "Oh, wait, that does make you property, or close to it. My bad."
For a lack of better words at the moment, Lan does a combination of -.-' and 0.0'.
Myrelle nods, then hits Nynaeve again because Nynaeve is right.
Nynaeve hits Myrelle because Myrelle agreed with her.
Lan does the 0.0' thing again. "Okaaaay. Will you two quit hitting each other with sticks?"
"No," Nynaeve answers.
"We could hit you with them," Myrelle offers.
"Um, no," Lan says.
"Okay, then," Myrelle says.
She and Nynaeve go back to hitting each other with sticks.
Lan tries to be logical.
***
Semmy: Old Stone-face trying to be logical?! *cackles*
Luna: *sighs*
***
"Why are you two hitting each other with sticks?" he asks.
"Because I can't balefire her," Nynaeve answers.
Lan does a -.-' face. "Okay. Um, Myrelle?"
"Because she thinks she owns you when I do," Myrelle replies.
"No! He's mine!" Nynaeve yells at her.
"He's still bonded to me!"
"Well, he's my husband!"
Lan tries to take away the sticks, but ends up getting thumped. "Owwies!" he yelps, rubbing his head.
"Ha!" Nynaeve laughs.
Lan makes another attempt at getting the sticks away from the two Aes Sedai, and this time he succeeds.
"Hey!" Nynaeve and Myrelle say indignantly, in unison. They glare at each other.
"Why don't you try to sort this out some other way?" Lan suggests.
"Hmm..." the two woman hmm.
***
Lunara: What?
Luna: Don't tell me you've never heard of people hmming!
Lunara: ...
Luna: Hahaha! And you call yourself a goddess!
Lunara: No, you call me a goddess.
Luna: ...
***
Nynaeve snaps her fingers. "I know! We can let Lan decide whose Warder he wants to be!"
"Yeah! Great idea!" Myrelle agrees.
Lan backs away from the two women. Then he brandishes the sticks. "Stay back! I have sticks, and I'm not afraid to use them!" he warns.
Nynaeve snorts, then knocks the sticks from his hands with a flow of Air.
"Eep," Lan eeps.
***
Lunara: Is that another one of your odd things? People eeping?
Luna: *nods*
Lunara: Okay, just checking.
***
Nynaeve and Myrelle walk toward him, predatory gleams in their eyes.
"Well, Lannie-poo?" Nynaeve says.
"Yes, my Lan-Lan?" Myrelle says.
"Umm...." Lan umms, trying to stall.
***
Lunara: Is that--
Luna: Yes!
Lunara: Okay.
***
Suddenly, a cool female voice says, "He's mine."
"WHAT?!" Nynaeve exclaims.
"Who said that?" Myrelle demands.
The voice speaks again. "I did."
The owner of the voice, a short Cairhienin woman with a blue stone dangling on her forehead, steps out of the shadows. "I've been listening to your little, ah... discussion. Very amusing."
"No! You're supposed to be dead!" Nynaeve screams in disbelief.
"It can't be!" Myrelle gasps.
"Oh, it is I," the Cairhienin woman says.
"Moiraine!" Lan sounds jubilant. He hides behind the short woman. "Save me!" he begs.
Moiraine smiles. "It's good to see you again, Lan."
"And it's good to see you again, too, Moiraine," Lan answers.
"Let's go, Lan," Moiraine says.
"Okay!" Lan sounds relieved.
"Not so fast!" Nynaeve cries.
Moiraine weaves a gateway.
"Bye, Nyn! Bye, Relley!" Lan calls to them.
***
Mogie: Relley?
Luna: *shrugs* It's a nickname for Myrelle that got in here somehow.
Mogie: Ooohhhh.
***
Lan leaps through the gateway.
Moiraine stands for a moment to gloat. "I win, Nynaeve.
"No!" Nynaeve stamps her foot like a spoiled child. "This isn't fair!"
"The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills," Moiraine informs her. "Goodbye, child."
Nynaeve screams angrily and pulls on her braid.
Moiraine gives a little wave, then steps through the gateway. It closes behind her.
A random gateway appears.
"Hi, I'm Cyndane. Is Lews Therin here? I'm going to kill him," the short woman who steps out says brightly.
Nynaeve shakes her head. "Nope, he's not here. The last time I saw him, he was using me to conduct an ocean of saidar so that he could cleanse saidin. No, wait, that was Rand." She shrugs. "Oh, same difference."
***
Lunara: Same difference? That doesn't make sense...
Luna: Yeah it does!
Lunara: Then what does it mean?
Luna: It means... um...
Lunara: Well?
Luna: I don't know.
Lunara: Ha!
Luna: -.-'
***
"Okay, bye!" Cyndane leaves through her gateway again.
"Who was that?" Myrelle asks.
Nynaeve shrugs. "I don't know. Another girlfriend of Rand's, I guess."
"Okay. I think," Myrelle says, a bit puzzled.
***
Semmy: *cough*Randsamanslut*cough*
Luna: *snickers*
***
"Stupid Lan," Nynaeve grumbles.
Myrelle nods.
Nynaeve has an idea. "Want to help me track down Moiraine and kill her?" she asks Myrelle.
"Okay," Myrelle agrees.
Another gateway appears and Semirhage steps out.
***
Semmy: Hey! Cool! I'm in this fic!
Luna: *nods* Yep.
Semmy: Neat-o!
Mogie: *pouts* I'm not in the fic.
Luna: That's because you stick to the shadows. Shadow people aren't put in fanfics.
Mogie: Oh.
Luna & Semmy: *nod*
***
"Hi!" Semirhage says cheerfully. "Is Cyndane here? She ran away again, so I get to torture her!" She looks extremely pleased.
Myrelle, for lack of better words, goes o.o'.
"Semmy!" Nynaeve exclaims. She hugs the Forsaken.
"Nyn!" Semirhage squeals. She hugs the Aes Sedai back.
This time, Myrelle goes 0.0'.
"So, what's up, Nyn?" Semirhage asks.
"Myrelle and I are hunting down Moiraine so that we can kill her," Nynaeve tells her.
"Do you plan on torturing her?" Semirhage asks.
Nynaeve thinks for a moment, then says, "Sure, why not?"
"Ooh! I wanna help!" Semirhage squeals excitedly.
Myrelle gulps. "Um, Nynaeve, isn't she a Forsaken?"
"Yeah, so?" Nynaeve says. "She's going to help us kill Moiraine."
Myrelle thinks for a moment. "Weeeeelllll... Okay."
One of them--
***
Serena: Don't you know who?
Luna: Yeah, but I'm not going to specify.
Serena: Oh, okay.
***
--weaves a gateway, and they leave to find Moiraine and Lan.
THE END of this story
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Lunara: Umm.... that was... odd.
Serena: Odd! That's the understatement of the Age!
Mogie: Nynny got whacked with a stick and got her Warder taken away. I'm happy!
Semmy: I'm happy, too! I was in the story and I get to torture someone!
Luna: You get to torture someone? Who?
Semmy: The readers that don't review, of course! ^_^
Luna: *to the readers* My dear readers, let that be a warning to you. Review unless you want to be tortured, okie dokes?
Disclaimer: This is the last disclaimer you'll see. I'm sick of telling you that I don't own WoT because it reminds me that I don't own it. I wish I owned Mat, though.... *sighs* Oh well.
Oh, and by the way, I am joined by some of my muses today: Lunara, goddess of the night, the moon, magic, and the occult arts; Serena Sedai of the Green Ajah; Moghedian, the Spider of the shadows; and Semirhage, the Mistress of Pain and Torture. They and I will be inserting our own comments about the story.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 4 - Whose Warder Is He?
written by She Who Walks the Night
*~*~*~*
Lan and Nynaeve walk through a forest--
***
Serena: What forest?
Luna: I don't know! It's just the universally-used forest. o.o'
Serena: Oh.
Luna: You should've been Brown Ajah with all the questions you ask.
Serena: Hey! You were the one who created me and made me Green Ajah!
Luna: :P
Serena: :P:P
Luna: :P:P:P:P:P
Serena: :P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P
Semmy: Enough! Or I'll torture you!
Luna & Serena: Okay, we're sorry.
***
--toward a clearing. And, at last, they reach their destination.
***
Lunara: Gee, who would've thunk it?
Luna: Thunk it?
Lunara: *shrugs* I've been in your head too long.
Luna: Okaaay, whatever...
***
Okay, so they're going to a clearing in the middle of some forest, and they finally get there.
"Why did Egwene want us to come back to the White Tower, Lannie-poo?" Nynaeve asks.
Lan sighs. "I don't know, Nyn. Just make the gateway, okay?"
Nynaeve shrugs, then uses the One Power to make a gateway for Skimming. First Lan, then Nynaeve steps through the gateway onto a platform decorated with herbs and yellow flowers.
***
Mogie: You're giving her a platform with yellow flowers and herbs?! I want to see some Nynny-bashing!
Luna: Patience, Moghedian, patience.
***
Suddenly, Lan sneezes.
Nynaeve gives Lan a concerned look. "What's wrong?"
Lan sneezes again. "I think I'm allergic to something here."
Nynaeve looks irritated. "Which one?"
Lan sneezes yet again. "How should I know?" He points at a random herb. "That one."
"Are you sure?" Nynaeve asks.
"No."
This earns him another irritated look from Nynaeve. She grumbles under her breath for a moment about men, then examines the herb Lan indicated. "Oh, wow, that's forkroot," she says, surprised.
"Shouldn't you do something about it?" Lan asks.
Nynaeve shakes her head. "No. The only way it can harm me is if I make a tea out of it and drink it."
This time, Nynaeve earns the irritated look. Lan sneezes, then says, "I mean, shouldn't you get rid of it? I'm getting tired of sneezing."
Nynaeve sweatdrops.
***
Serena: Sweatdrops? Isn't that an anime thing?
Luna: Yeah, so?
Serena: No reason. It's just that this is a WHEEL OF TIME fic... *mutters under her breath* ...or a sorry excuse for one.
Luna: Hey! I heard that!
Serena: ^_^
***
Anyhoodles...
Nynaeve uses threads of Fire to burn all the forkroot away. "Better?" she asks.
Lan breaths in, then sneezes again. "No," he answers, rubbing his nose.
Nynaeve looks extremely irritated. She uses Fire to burn away all the herbs on the platform. "How's that?"
Lan sneezes in answer.
Nynaeve looks outraged. "You're allergic to my flowers?!"
Lan shrugs. "I don't know. I guess so."
Nynaeve mutters something incoherent, but presumably profane, then uses Fire to burn all the flowers away. "There!" she exclaims. "They're gone!"
Lan takes a VERY deep breath. "That's better," he informs her.
Nynaeve grumbles some more.
The platform finally stops moving. Lan and Nynaeve step out of another gateway onto the White Tower grounds.
"Lannie-poo!" an Aes Sedai cries out, sounding delighted.
"Uh-oh," Lan says, eyes widening as he recognizes Myrelle.
Myrelle runs to Lan and hugs him.
"Hey! Quit that! He's mine!" Nynaeve yells.
"No! He's mine!" Myrelle yells in answer. She hugs Lan some more.
Our dear Yellow Aes Sedai--
***
Mogie: *makes a gagging sound*
Luna: *glares at Mogie*
Mogie: Heh...
***
--picks up a conveniently-placed stick and hits Myrelle with it. "Mine!" she screams.
Myrelle stops hugging Lan and picks up another conveniently-placed stick. She whacks Nynaeve with it. "Mine!" she shrieks back.
***
Mogie: Finally!
Luna: *rolls eyes* Uh-huh.
Mogie: Yay! Use that stick, Myrelle! Bash Nynny's head in!
Luna, Serena, & Semmy: 0.0'
Semmy: *under her breath* And I thought I was sadistic...
***
Lan clears his throat. "I wasn't aware I was property."
"You aren't. You're a Warder," Nynaeve informs him. She pauses for a moment, then says, "Oh, wait, that does make you property, or close to it. My bad."
For a lack of better words at the moment, Lan does a combination of -.-' and 0.0'.
Myrelle nods, then hits Nynaeve again because Nynaeve is right.
Nynaeve hits Myrelle because Myrelle agreed with her.
Lan does the 0.0' thing again. "Okaaaay. Will you two quit hitting each other with sticks?"
"No," Nynaeve answers.
"We could hit you with them," Myrelle offers.
"Um, no," Lan says.
"Okay, then," Myrelle says.
She and Nynaeve go back to hitting each other with sticks.
Lan tries to be logical.
***
Semmy: Old Stone-face trying to be logical?! *cackles*
Luna: *sighs*
***
"Why are you two hitting each other with sticks?" he asks.
"Because I can't balefire her," Nynaeve answers.
Lan does a -.-' face. "Okay. Um, Myrelle?"
"Because she thinks she owns you when I do," Myrelle replies.
"No! He's mine!" Nynaeve yells at her.
"He's still bonded to me!"
"Well, he's my husband!"
Lan tries to take away the sticks, but ends up getting thumped. "Owwies!" he yelps, rubbing his head.
"Ha!" Nynaeve laughs.
Lan makes another attempt at getting the sticks away from the two Aes Sedai, and this time he succeeds.
"Hey!" Nynaeve and Myrelle say indignantly, in unison. They glare at each other.
"Why don't you try to sort this out some other way?" Lan suggests.
"Hmm..." the two woman hmm.
***
Lunara: What?
Luna: Don't tell me you've never heard of people hmming!
Lunara: ...
Luna: Hahaha! And you call yourself a goddess!
Lunara: No, you call me a goddess.
Luna: ...
***
Nynaeve snaps her fingers. "I know! We can let Lan decide whose Warder he wants to be!"
"Yeah! Great idea!" Myrelle agrees.
Lan backs away from the two women. Then he brandishes the sticks. "Stay back! I have sticks, and I'm not afraid to use them!" he warns.
Nynaeve snorts, then knocks the sticks from his hands with a flow of Air.
"Eep," Lan eeps.
***
Lunara: Is that another one of your odd things? People eeping?
Luna: *nods*
Lunara: Okay, just checking.
***
Nynaeve and Myrelle walk toward him, predatory gleams in their eyes.
"Well, Lannie-poo?" Nynaeve says.
"Yes, my Lan-Lan?" Myrelle says.
"Umm...." Lan umms, trying to stall.
***
Lunara: Is that--
Luna: Yes!
Lunara: Okay.
***
Suddenly, a cool female voice says, "He's mine."
"WHAT?!" Nynaeve exclaims.
"Who said that?" Myrelle demands.
The voice speaks again. "I did."
The owner of the voice, a short Cairhienin woman with a blue stone dangling on her forehead, steps out of the shadows. "I've been listening to your little, ah... discussion. Very amusing."
"No! You're supposed to be dead!" Nynaeve screams in disbelief.
"It can't be!" Myrelle gasps.
"Oh, it is I," the Cairhienin woman says.
"Moiraine!" Lan sounds jubilant. He hides behind the short woman. "Save me!" he begs.
Moiraine smiles. "It's good to see you again, Lan."
"And it's good to see you again, too, Moiraine," Lan answers.
"Let's go, Lan," Moiraine says.
"Okay!" Lan sounds relieved.
"Not so fast!" Nynaeve cries.
Moiraine weaves a gateway.
"Bye, Nyn! Bye, Relley!" Lan calls to them.
***
Mogie: Relley?
Luna: *shrugs* It's a nickname for Myrelle that got in here somehow.
Mogie: Ooohhhh.
***
Lan leaps through the gateway.
Moiraine stands for a moment to gloat. "I win, Nynaeve.
"No!" Nynaeve stamps her foot like a spoiled child. "This isn't fair!"
"The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills," Moiraine informs her. "Goodbye, child."
Nynaeve screams angrily and pulls on her braid.
Moiraine gives a little wave, then steps through the gateway. It closes behind her.
A random gateway appears.
"Hi, I'm Cyndane. Is Lews Therin here? I'm going to kill him," the short woman who steps out says brightly.
Nynaeve shakes her head. "Nope, he's not here. The last time I saw him, he was using me to conduct an ocean of saidar so that he could cleanse saidin. No, wait, that was Rand." She shrugs. "Oh, same difference."
***
Lunara: Same difference? That doesn't make sense...
Luna: Yeah it does!
Lunara: Then what does it mean?
Luna: It means... um...
Lunara: Well?
Luna: I don't know.
Lunara: Ha!
Luna: -.-'
***
"Okay, bye!" Cyndane leaves through her gateway again.
"Who was that?" Myrelle asks.
Nynaeve shrugs. "I don't know. Another girlfriend of Rand's, I guess."
"Okay. I think," Myrelle says, a bit puzzled.
***
Semmy: *cough*Randsamanslut*cough*
Luna: *snickers*
***
"Stupid Lan," Nynaeve grumbles.
Myrelle nods.
Nynaeve has an idea. "Want to help me track down Moiraine and kill her?" she asks Myrelle.
"Okay," Myrelle agrees.
Another gateway appears and Semirhage steps out.
***
Semmy: Hey! Cool! I'm in this fic!
Luna: *nods* Yep.
Semmy: Neat-o!
Mogie: *pouts* I'm not in the fic.
Luna: That's because you stick to the shadows. Shadow people aren't put in fanfics.
Mogie: Oh.
Luna & Semmy: *nod*
***
"Hi!" Semirhage says cheerfully. "Is Cyndane here? She ran away again, so I get to torture her!" She looks extremely pleased.
Myrelle, for lack of better words, goes o.o'.
"Semmy!" Nynaeve exclaims. She hugs the Forsaken.
"Nyn!" Semirhage squeals. She hugs the Aes Sedai back.
This time, Myrelle goes 0.0'.
"So, what's up, Nyn?" Semirhage asks.
"Myrelle and I are hunting down Moiraine so that we can kill her," Nynaeve tells her.
"Do you plan on torturing her?" Semirhage asks.
Nynaeve thinks for a moment, then says, "Sure, why not?"
"Ooh! I wanna help!" Semirhage squeals excitedly.
Myrelle gulps. "Um, Nynaeve, isn't she a Forsaken?"
"Yeah, so?" Nynaeve says. "She's going to help us kill Moiraine."
Myrelle thinks for a moment. "Weeeeelllll... Okay."
One of them--
***
Serena: Don't you know who?
Luna: Yeah, but I'm not going to specify.
Serena: Oh, okay.
***
--weaves a gateway, and they leave to find Moiraine and Lan.
THE END of this story
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Lunara: Umm.... that was... odd.
Serena: Odd! That's the understatement of the Age!
Mogie: Nynny got whacked with a stick and got her Warder taken away. I'm happy!
Semmy: I'm happy, too! I was in the story and I get to torture someone!
Luna: You get to torture someone? Who?
Semmy: The readers that don't review, of course! ^_^
Luna: *to the readers* My dear readers, let that be a warning to you. Review unless you want to be tortured, okie dokes?