Wanted: A Happy Ending
Ch2: Never Expected this...

"Ah, Harry. What can we help you with this fine afternoon?" Fred asked, elbowing his way past his twin who was helping another customer.

Harry smiled as Hedwig resettled on his shoulder. He met Fred half way through the store. Surprisingly, it hadn't been that difficult to make it through Diagon Alley. People seemed to finally be calming down, and he was once again able to wander about in semi-peace—providing that he kept well clear of reporters anyway.

"Just came to see if you two have come up with anything new," he said pointedly.

Fred grinned mischievously, "Of course. Oi, George! Get over here!"

George glanced over at the two and motioned to the customer he was helping. In response, Fred motioned to Harry with a straining stare. George's eyes widened and he quickly finished helping the customer before dashing over to the two.

"Perfect timing, Harry. Fred and I just finished it this morning," George clapped his hands together excitedly.

Leading him to the back room, Harry couldn't help but wonder what went on there during the store's off hours. Jars and bottles filled with everything from bat eyeballs to highly concentrated, aged urine from a Centaur's bladder lined the shelves so that nearly all the bright red walls from view. From more than one position in the room odd croaks and bubbling sounds echoed out from the jars with more undistinguishable contents.

"I just hope it doesn't blow up in my face like last time," Harry muttered.

"Don't worry. We knocked out all the bugs," George said, smiling as he picked up a rubber chicken, "Gotta love Muggles. Where do they come up with this stuff?"

Harry chose to ignore the question both obviously expected him to answer and, instead, nodding at the phoenix on his shoulder, "All the same, I brought Hedwig in case of any 'accidents.'"

"That hurts, Harry. That hurts deep down," Fred said, clamping his hand to his heart.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Let's see it then."

George cleared his throat before dramatically pulling a red cloth off a lump in the middle of the table, "Voila! Here, Harry, is the one thing that's going to put us on the map!"

"You're already on the map," Harry remarked offhandedly as he bent down to the table, "Everyone in England knows who you are."

"Yes, but now we're," Fred and George stroke a pose and spoke simultaneously, "Going global!"

Harry snorted at them as he picked up the small ball from the middle of the table, tossing it from one hand to the other, "So this is going to put you on the map, huh? It's smaller than the other one."

"Of course! It's easier to conceal this way." Fred caught the ball before Harry had the chance to catch it again, "I wouldn't do that, though, if I were you. You wouldn't want to set it off."

Nodding, he took back the seemingly ordinary black ball before proceeding to look it over, "Of course. . .what's this one do?"

"Same as the other one. . .only this one won't blow up," Fred said, taking it again, "Observe."

He threw the ball at Hedwig. It burst open right before it hit her. Thick, blackish-gray smoke filled the room. Hedwig's cried out rather loudly and Harry stumbled through the smoke trying to find her, but only succeeding in running into the table. He coughed as the smoke entered his lungs and his eyes stung terribly, only growing more frustrated when he was unable to banish it.

Fred and George could be heard stumbling around as well, arguing with each other about who messed up the ingredients. It wasn't for another five minutes until the smoke finally died down. When it did, Harry finally spotted Hedwig, stuck to the floor in what appeared to be a sticky pink paste. Harry walked over to her and tried to use his magic to release her, only to find that, once again, it didn't work.

He turned to Fred and George, "What the hell did you two use?"

The two, who had still been arguing, stopped and turned to him, "Oh, sorry about that, Harry. I guess it wasn't ready after all. . ."

"No, really?" Harry asked sarcastically.

George laughed nervously, "Guess we didn't work out all the bugs after all, huh?"

"Can you just release Hedwig before she gets even more angry?" Harry asked, poking at the pink paste only to find his finger stuck as well, "What the hell is this anyway?"

"It our patented Gooey Gunk," Fred said proudly.

"Gooey Gunk?" Harry asked, trying to pull away, but only succeeding in getting his arm stuck, "Get us out of this!"

The two looked at each other, "Er. . .right. Fred, what did you do with that solution?"

"Me?" Fred vigorously shook his head, "No way, George. You're the last one who had it."

"Did I?" George asked, "No, I do believe—"

Hedwig was apparently growing tired of waiting, however, and gave a shrill caw, batting her one free wing. Unfortunately, the only thing this succeeded in doing was knocking Harry face forward into the substance. He gave a muffled shout as his face disappeared into the pink.

Fred and George, far from being worried, broke out into laughter as they watched Harry fail his one arm around desperately.

"What's that, Harry?"

"What'd you say? Sorry, we couldn't catch that."

They moved closer and were almost near enough to flag him when the last thing they were expecting happened.

"STOP GOOFING OFF AND GET US OUT OF HERE! I CAN'T BREATHE!" Hedwig screeched at them in a voice oddly reminiscent of her raven-haired companion.

The twins jumped back, their freckles sticking out more against their slightly paled skin, "Harry?"

"YES, NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Harry's voiced boomed out of the phoenix's beak.

"Bloody hell, George," Fred whispered, "That stuff switched their bodies!"

"You know what this means, don't you?" George asked, breathless.

"We're going global!" they shouted in unison.

They broke out into laughter, dancing around each other in circles. "I told you putting the calluses from the giants in was a good idea!"

"As much as I hate to burst your bubble, you did no such thing. I'm channeling my voice through Hedwig seeing as how MY BLOODY FACE IS STUCK IN THIS GOO!"

"—Gunk, Harry—" George cautiously interjected.

"WHATEVER!" Hedwig shook her head irritably, "Just get us out of here!"

"Right."

And the two set about wandering the backroom in search of the solvent. Hedwig's eyes followed the two around unblinkingly until finally Fred walked over to a cabinet and dug around in it for a moment before pulling out a spray bottle, "Here we go."

Hedwig/Harry groaned, "Are you sure this stuff will work?"

"Have a little faith in us, Harry," Fred said, as he started to spray the solution on the Gooey Gunk.

The pink paste quickly started to fade away, but, apparently, the two substances shouldn't have been mixed, for as soon as they touched, an explosion occurred. Harry and Hedwig were thrown across the room into the wall.

Fred and George looked at each other nervously, "Er. . .perhaps we should work on that, too."

Now that she was released, Hedwig cried out angrily and zoomed over to the twins. She started pecking at them in a less than loving nature and scratching at them with her talons. Fred and George shouted and ran out of the room, Hedwig chasing after them.

"Ah! Killer phoenix on the loose! Run for your lives!"

Harry groaned and stood up, rubbing his back which was rather sore. He shook his head and took after the three. Back in the actual store area, several customers were staring towards the door with their mouths open. Putting two and two together, Harry rushed outside. Not but two steps outside the door, however, he bumped into someone.

The two fell to the ground and Harry shook his head again, "This is really starting to get old."

He looked over to the person he bumped into and smiled. A girl around his age with black hair and blue eyes was looking around, a bit dazed, her packages strewn about her all over the ground.

"Hello," he said, standing up and offering her his hand, "I don't remember seeing you around here before."

The girl stood up and brushed off her green skirt before straightening up and looking at Harry, "Just moved here."

"Where from?"

The girl bent down and started picking up her packages, "Ireland."

Harry laughed and helped her pick up her packages, "You don't sound Irish."

"Well, I suppose that would be because I'm actually from England, wouldn't it?" she caught his eyes for a moment and nodded, "We moved there when I was little."

"Well, it's nice to meet you. I'm Harry," Harry said, extending his hand.

The girl breathed a laugh, gave him a half-smirk, half-grin, and shook his hand, "Nyoka. Just Nyo, though, if you don't mind."

Harry nodded, "Are you going to be going to Hogwarts?"

She nodded as she took the last of her packages from Harry and stood up, "Seventh year."

"Really? Me too," Harry smiled.

Nyo smiled, "At least I'll know someone there."

Harry laughed, "If you get in Gryffindor you'll know loads of people. I wouldn't worry too much about it, though. Everyone's pretty nice...except the Slytherins that is."

"Really?" she asked, fumbling as a parcel nearly fell from her grasp, "That's where my parents want me to be."

"Slytherin?" Harry asked uncertainly, "They must not know very much about the House then."

"No. No, I suppose they wouldn't," she answered thoughtfully. "Oh, no. That's alright," she added as Harry moved to help her with her packages, "I've sidetracked you long enough."

Harry shrugged and took some packages anyway, "I'm not doing anything special. Besides, I remember what it was like back in First year. It's a lot of stuff. Good thing I had Hagrid with me, I'll tell you that."

"Hagrid? As in Rubeus?" she asked, reluctantly consenting as Harry grabbed her cauldron.

He grinned broadly, "You've heard of him?"

Nyo frowned, "Yes…isn't he a half-breed."

Harry's grin fell just as quickly as it had arrived, "His mum was a giantess if that's what you mean. You have a problem with that?"

Nyo shrugged, "It's why we moved to Ireland to begin with."

"You moved because Hagrid's half-giant?" Harry asked skeptically.

"No, not exactly anyway. …My dad was killed by a giant."

Harry's defensive fell, and he found his face heating up, "Oh. …Sorry. I shouldn't've—"

"Don't worry about it," Nyo cut him off, "I don't even remember him. I'm sorry if I offended you, though. I'm sure Mr. Hagrid is a great man."

Despite his better judgment, Harry laughed, causing Nyo to eye him, "What?"

Harry shook his head. "Nothing. No, really," he added after noting her cocked brow, "I've just never heard Hagrid called 'Mr.' before is all. And between you and me, I think it's best that way."

A slight tinge appeared on Nyo's cheeks, though Harry pretended not to notice. "So," he said, shifting the weight of his load, "where are we off to?"

"Flourish and Blotts. . .I'm supposed to meet my mum there," Nyo told him dryly.

"Alright, off to the Flourish and Blotts it is!" Harry said dramatically.

Nyo laughed but quickly stopped as she spotted something over his shoulder. She frowned and looked down.

"What?" Harry asked, turning to see a stingy looking couple hurrying over to them.

"Nyoka Rill! What have we told you about talking to strangers?" the man asked angrily.

"I'm sorry, father. We just bumped into each other, and Harry was—" Nyo started.

Harry looked at the man Nyo called "father" curiously. Hadn't she said her father had been killed? Before he could put any further thought into this, however, his attention was drawn to the couple who were goggling at him.

"Harry?" Nyo's father and the woman, whom Harry guessed was her mother, spun around and faltered when they saw him. He sighed inwardly.

'Great,' he thought sarcastically, 'Here comes another big scene.'

"Harry Potter!" the woman shouted before turning to her husband, her eyes brimming, "Quincy! It's him! I never thought I'd see this day!"

Nyo's eyes swarmed back to him, "You're Harry Potter?"

Harry shrugged, "That would be me. What about you, I thought you said your dad was dead."

She obviously didn't mean for him to notice, but he caught her cast Quincy a nasty look before responding with the utmost bitterness, "Stepfather."

Harry nodded in understanding, opened his mouth to say something, and was cut off by the topic of their conversation as he snatched the packages out of Harry's hands, "Come, Nyo. We're behind schedule."

"But—" she started.

"Don't question me, Nyo! I said come!"

Harry was strong reminded of Lucius Malfoy, but he shook the thought out of his head as he saw the young girl being dragged off by her parents.

"See you at Hogwarts!" he called after her. She turned and smiled at him before she disappeared behind a crowd of people.

Harry thought for a moment. However, before he could develop this thought any more, in came a distraction.

"Harry! Call off your killer bird!" Fred shouted as they dashed back towards their store.

Harry smiled as he saw the numerous holes poked in their clothes. He laughed, but nevertheless called his bird, "Hedwig, I think you've punished them enough for one day."

Hedwig looked at him and pecked at the pair of them once more before flying over and landing respectfully on Harry's shoulder. Fred and George cautiously walked over, being very mindful of Hedwig's piercing gaze.

"Thanks for that, Harry," George panted, exhausted from the run.

Harry laughed again and waved his hand, restoring his friends' robes, much to Hedwig's displeasure, "Serves you right for practicing your pranks on her."

"Alright, alright. We won't do it again. . ." George said before giving an over dramatic bow, "We owe you our scalps! Is there anything we can do for you?"

"Yeah, make sure next time you have it right," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

"Right-o!" Fred saluted him, "By the way, Harry…I don't suppose you might be willing to assist us with coming up with a product that—"

"I am not going to help you switch people's bodies." Harry said firmly.

Fred hastily shook his head, "Not people, Harry. It would only be one person. The idea of putting them into an animal is just too tempting. It'll—"

"Put you on the map, I know," Harry nodded, "But your mum would kill me. Sorry, guys. You're on your own this time."

Sighing in resignation, the twins nodded, and George pulled out a small box, "Understandable. Mum can be a bit of a handful sometimes. But as of now, Fred and I would like to present you with a little something."

"It's not going to explode, is it?" Harry asked, glancing at the two.

"No. . .not until you activate it anyway," Fred said.

Harry opened the box and saw a little black ball identical to the one from before, "Why are you giving me a deficient prank?"

"Because," George said, "You might be able to figure out what's wrong quicker than us."

Harry sighed and put the box in his robes carefully, "If I have any time this year."

"You'll have loads of time!" they chorused.

"Not if Snape has his way," Harry said with premature irritation, "I don't think he's quite gotten around me following him around Hogwarts all summer."

"No braver a lad could have done it, Harry. You're lucky to have survived," the twins agreed.

Harry felt something on his hip start to vibrate. He looked down and noticed that his wizard beeper Sirius had given him was going off.

"They need me back at the house," he said, reading off the beeper.

The twins nodded, "See you then, Harry...and remember. That ball is our little secret. No one can know about it until it's ready."

Harry promised that he wouldn't show it to anyone and bid the two farewell before apparating back to Marauder Manor, as their home was lovingly called. At first touch down on the grounds, Hedwig became noticeably excited. She took off of his shoulder and pulled him towards the house.

"What's up, Hedwig?" he asked, allowing himself to be pulled along.

Suddenly, Fawkes and Adish—the son of the two elder phoenixes—flew out of the house to greet them. Harry smiled as Hedwig left him to join her family. He would never forget the look on the Ministry's face when they found out that the population of phoenixes had gone up by one. Phoenixes might not ever die, but they were also incapable of reproduction, so the fact that Adish now existed was nothing short of a miracle.

Of course, they could only speculate as to how it happened. Personally, Harry thought it had something to do with the fact that Hedwig had, at one point, actually been an owl. Less than a year ago she had transformed before his very eyes in just enough time to save he and Sirius from a very unpleasant death. Hagrid, with whom he most heartily agreed, hypothesized that since she had once been an owl—a species that is quite capable of reproduction—the fact that she was now a phoenix should have nothing to do with it.

It shouldn't be hard to guess that the moment this hit the media Harry had been bombarded with requests for either him to turn family owls into phoenixes or allow Hedwig and Fawkes to reproduce again and to sell the offspring. Likewise, it should be quite obvious that Harry had immediately made one of his rare public statements, announcing that he would take no part whatsoever in creating more phoenixes. As far as he was concerned, there was a reason the species couldn't reproduce, and wasn't about to ignore it.

Breaking his sight from the three who disappeared into the blinding sun, Harry looked toward the manor. If Fawkes was here, that could mean only one thing…

"Dumbledore."

He smiled. He didn't know why his headmaster was visiting, but he intended to find out. Harry hurried into the house and heard voices in the parlor. He headed in that direction and the voices became louder.

"That's great! Now we can all work together!"

"I don't know. The board must be losing their minds if they're going to hire you, Padfoot."

"Hey! I'll be good at it! Flying and impressionable minds! Two of my favorite things!"

"Hello," Harry said as he came to a stop in the doorway.

Dumbledore and Remus were sitting in chairs near the fireplace, and Sirius and Tali were occupying the love seat across from them. Fawkes, Hedwig, and Adish were perched on the back of the couch. All humans rose when they saw Harry enter the room, and Hedwig flew over, landing on his shoulder.

"Good evening," they all greeted him.

"You certainly took your time getting back," Sirius commented, sitting back down.

"We had a little mishap at the Wheezes, Padfoot, give me a break," Harry said, referring to the twin's store as he rolled his eyes and sat on the couch with the birds.

"Well, Harry, since you're back, we have a bit of good news!" Tali smiled brightly.

"I know, you're all going to be working together," Harry nodded.

"Yes, but where?" Tali smiled wider.

Harry thought for a moment and shrugged, "I don't know."

Sirius, Tali, and Remus looked at each other and smiled broadly, "HOGWARTS!"

Harry's face lit up, "Really? That's great!"

"Isn't it just?" Remus laughed.

"What are you two teaching?" Harry asked Remus and Sirius.

"I'll be taking over Flying for Madame Hooch...she's retiring," Sirius explained.

"And I'll be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts again," Remus smiled.

Harry looked at him, "What's Tali going to do then?"

"Transfiguration," Tali said promptly.

"And before you ask," Dumbledore spoke up, "Minerva is being transferred over to the Ministry."

"Oh," Harry said before smiling again, "This is great!"

"Indeed, I've just gotten the go ahead from the Board," Dumbledore said.

"So that's why you're here," Harry said, understanding.

"Yes and no," Dumbledore said.

Harry looked at him, "What then?"

Dumbledore looked at the other three adults in the room who all nodded at him with straight faces, "Why don't you two talk for a little bit. We'll go start dinner."

Tali pulled Sirius and Remus out of the room, leaving the two in peace.

"Harry," Dumbledore started, "...Let us go for a walk."

Harry nodded and they both stood up. Hedwig and Fawkes started to follow them, but Dumbledore held up his hand and the two birds resettled on their perch. As he stepped out of the house, Harry was temporarily blinded by the setting sun. A couple blinks later, however, his vision had returned and he let Dumbledore lead the way.

They headed out past the barn, towards the pond. Once there, Dumbledore took a seat on a bench over looking the water. Harry sat next to him and the cool air from the blue liquid brushed against his face in welcoming breezes. It was most like being at the beach...only without the sand.

"How can I help you, Professor?" Harry asked after a long moment of silence.

"I have been offered the position as the new Minister of Magic—" Dumbledore started.

"That's great, Professor!" Harry exclaimed.

"Yes, it would be, but I cannot simply up and leave my position at Hogwarts without a suitable replacement, now can I?"

Harry wondered where this was going, "So you're not taking the job?"

He stood and scooped up a handful of pebbles from the water's edge before tossing them, individually, into the water.

Dumbledore looked ready to stand up and start walking again, but stopped himself and, instead, leaned against the back of the bench, "I didn't say that."

"So you've found a replacement?" Harry asked, turning to him.

"In a manner of speaking."

"Who is it?"

"That's just the thing, Harry. I haven't discussed it with him yet," Dumbledore said.

Harry thought for a moment before returning to tossing the pebbles, "Why are you telling me, Professor?"

"Albus will do, Harry."

"Er...I'm not sure I'd feel that comfortable—"

Dumbledore laughed and raised his hand to stop Harry from going any further, "How about Dumbledore then?"

Harry looked as though he still wasn't sure, but nodded none the less, "I suppose."

"Wonderful! Now, back to answering your question: I need your opinion."

"About what?" Harry asked curiously.

"Well, Harry. I have a bit of a favor to ask of you," Dumbledore said pensively, as though he was trying to figure out how best to word it.

Harry nodded him on and Dumbledore continued, "I have discussed it with the rest of the teachers and the Ministry Board...we all feel that you would do a fine job in replacing me."

The pebbles in his hand dropped to the ground and his eyes bugged out of his head. Had he heard him right?

"What?" he sputtered disbelievingly.

Dumbledore smiled, "We were wondering if you would like the position of Headmaster of Hogwarts."

"But. . .but Pro—er Dumbledore, I'm only seventeen! I haven't even graduated yet!" Harry declared, exasperated. Him? Headmaster? Of Hogwarts? It was absurd!

"Is that a problem, Harry?" Dumbledore asked, "You are the most powerful wizard to ever exist. Surely you don't expect that you'll learn anything if you were to return as a student?"

Harry had to admit, that was probably true, but still, Headmaster? The idea was even more absurd than allowing Sirius to be a Professor.

"But I don't know anything about being Headmaster. I'd probably just screw everything up."

Dumbledore smiled at him, "I believe you would do fine. You have the trust of every single person that will be in the school, staff and students. I'm certain that no one will object to you taking over. And if you have any questions, I would only be an owl away. Not to mention the assistance you would get from the staff."

'The staff...' Harry thought, "But what about Snape?"

"Yes, he was a bit upset when your name came up. I believe that is why he did not come to Remus' party. I believe he is trying to postpone the inevitable as long as possible."

"Funny," Harry remarked offhandedly, "I would have figured that had more to do with Padfoot being there."

Dumbledore smiled, "Indeed. Back to the point at hand, though: Harry, I believe Severus, too, thinks you would be an outstanding Headmaster."

"But..."

"I can see that you might need time to think it over. Why don't you send me an owl with your decision…and I hate rush you, but I'll need your response within the week."

Harry, still a bit overwhelmed, nodded dumbly. Dumbledore smiled and stood up, "Let us be getting back to the house. Unless I'm much mistaken, those three could use a bit of our help."

Harry, snapping out of his disbelief, laughed. Yes, meal preparation had always been a bit of hassle inside Marauder Manor. Little did he know just how much of a hassle it was that particular day…

"AHHH! TALI, REMUS! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!" Sirius screamed running around the kitchen, his robe sleeve on fire.

Remus and Tali were chasing frantically after him. Remus had a fire extinguisher in his hands and Tali had a metal spatula to "beat it out" as she explained loudly through the commotion—though this hardly seemed to calm Sirius in the least.

Beyond this, the counters were piled high in dirty dishes that were dripping their filth all over the place. A puddle of batter, from what Harry and Dumbledore could only guess, continued to grow as the tipped bowl persistently dripped more and more to the floor. Sirius slipped in this puddle and fell to the floor with a loud thud. Remus and Tali finally caught up to him.

"Hold him, still, Tali!" Remus said, fumbling with the extinguisher.

Tali obeyed and held Sirius firmly to the floor. Remus pushed the button and white, messy foam flew out of the nozzle, coating Sirius and Tali until they appeared to be sloppy constructed snowmen. It didn't stop there, though. It quickly became apparent that this was a wizard extinguisher, for it wrenched itself out of Remus' grasped floated into the air. It turned around slowly before squirting foam at everyone in the room.

The occupants of the room shouted in protest and rushed to find cover. However, it seemed that the extinguisher was always one step ahead. No matter where they tried to hide, whether it be under the table, behind a chair, in the pantry, wherever, it was seemed able to anticipate their next move.

"The guy said this was supposed to be a well-tempered extinguisher!" Remus' undistinguishable form shouted from behind a chair.

"Harry! Can't you do something?" Sirius asked.

"Not if I can't even see where the damn thing is!" Harry said, trying to squint through the foam that covered his glasses.

For another ten minutes the madness went on until, finally, the extinguisher ran out of foam. It fell with a thud to the floor and the five cautiously poked their heads out from the hiding places.

"Is it dead?" Harry asked, looking in the completely wrong direction.

"I think so..." Sirius said, poking it with his foot.

It gave a dry gasp but did nothing more. Harry wiped his glasses clean in time to see everyone come out from their hiding places. Not one of them distinguishable.

Dumbledore chuckled, "At least the fire's out."

"Hey, Harry, you still have some foam in your ear," Tali said, cleaning it out with her finger.

"Thanks," Harry said, sitting down at a vacant table in a Muggle restaurant, Big Al's Burger Barn.

After cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, which went by rather quickly due to Harry's magical abilities, and the rush for the showers, it had become decided unanimously that they would go out to eat. After bidding Dumbledore goodbye, the quartet had set about looking for a restaurant where they could remain unnoticed for the night.

Tali had requested that they find someplace that held live entertainment. They had ended up at Big Al's which held an open mic for karaoke every night. At the moment, a trio of rather large construction workers was singing the Muggle song, "War, what is it good for?" by some group that Harry didn't know. They weren't very good and he did his best to block them out.

"Maybe next time we should just use a Muggle extinguisher," he added as he took a bite out of his cheeseburger.

"Aw, what's the fun in those?" Sirius asked with a smile.

"Nothing...they're safer, though," Harry said pointedly.

"I don't care what Hermione says, first thing tomorrow, we're getting ourselves a couple of House elves," Remus said, shaking his head.

"About time, too. We have to be the last people in the wizarding world that don't already have them," Sirius said.

"So, Harry, you never told us about your talk with Dumbledore," Tali changed the subject.

"Oh," Harry said, putting down his burger, "that. He wants me to be the new Headmaster at Hogwarts."

"We know that! What did you say?" Sirius asked anxiously.

"I didn't."

"You didn't what?"

"I didn't tell him anything," Harry said and then added after getting blank looks, "I'm supposed to think about it and tell him by the end of the week."

"What's there to think about?" Sirius asked, astounded, "You get a chance to be the big cahoona!"

"The what?" all three of his companions chorused.

"The big cahoona. You know: the big cheese, the mighty ruler of all!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yeah, and miss the last year of Hogwarts," Harry said, "Besides, I don't know anything about running a school."

"We'll be there with you, Harry," Tali said supportively.

"I don't know."

Sirius hunched his shoulders, "Aw, come on, Harry! Think of the perks! You get to boss Snape around, no classes, you get to boss Snape around, no NEWTS, you get to boss Snape around, you can make sure that Gryffindor wins the House Cup—"

"Sirius!" the three shouted at their friend.

"What? You could!" he exclaimed

They all rolled their eyes and shook their heads in what appeared to be a planned procedure.

"Go on, Harry, at least think about it," Remus suggested.

"I was planning to," Harry said as the trio of construction workers finally finished their song.

All four at their table joined in the tremendous applause being given. Harry didn't know about anyone else, but he was clapping because they had finished.

A stout man walked up onto the stage, "Wasn't that—er—entertaining!"

The room gave an unenthusiastic mumbling of agreement and the construction workers bowed on their way back to their seats.

The man cleared his throat, "Yes, well. . .next on the mic is none other than our favorite returning talent. . .Serpentine!"

"Serpentine?" Remus asked as the man walked off stage and the lights began to dim.

"You had to have live entertainment, didn't you, Tals?" Sirius asked as the music started up.

Tali shrugged, "Oh shut it, Sirius. It's a catchy tune, anyway."

Sirius cast a gaze at Harry and Remus who shrugged and turned their attention back to the stage. A man with slick black hair was facing away from the audience. He was wearing faded blue jeans and a Muggle dress coat with a pink feather boa draped over his arms. He was waving his hips back and forth, very Diana Ross style, as he began to sing.

Tali turned to the three, "Does he sound familiar to you?"

"...A bit, doesn't he?" asked Remus.

At that moment, the man decided to turn around. The four fell back in their seats, well, three did. Sirius went as far as to fall out of his chair and down to the floor.

"Is that… ?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Snape?" Harry finished, eyes bugging out.

As they were to the side, no one seemed to notice their outburst of laughter over the music as Snape started the next verse:

"You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
You gotta trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes"

By now, Harry and Tali had joined Sirius on the floor, laughing hysterically. Remus, on the other hand, was staring, open mouthed at the man on the stage. Never, in all their years of acquaintance, had any of them ever hoped to be given something this good to hold over the Slytherin's head.

Sirius, on several times, very nearly rushed the stage to make Snape aware of his presence, but, in all cases, the other three had managed to detain him. It wasn't likely that they would ever get another chance to see Snape singing and dancing. . .and in such a manner at that.

Snape was up and dancing again. At one point in his show, he took off the coat he was wearing and tossed it into the crowd. To the complete bewilderment of the quartet sitting at the table, several girls of different ages fought over whom would keep it.

"What did you do to him this summer, Harry?" Remus asked, head tilting slightly in disgusted amusement.

Harry shook his head, "I don't know…but remind me to do it again next time he acting particularly foul."

Snape now stood in the center of the stage, his dancing toned down to a slight swaying of the hips and hand motions that complimented the song well. And Harry couldn't help but wonder just how often Snape did this:

"No, love, love don't come easy
But I keep on waiting, anticipating
For that soft voice to talk to me at night
For some tender arms to hold me tight"

"Ron'll never believe me," Harry laughed, "Where's Colin when you need him?"

When Snape finished the song, he bowed deeply. The applause was tremendous; it even threatened to knock the building down. However, it was nothing compared to the laughter that echoed out of one small corner of the room.

Sirius could no longer be held back, he cupped his hands to his mouth, "Hey, Snape! Great show!"

Snape, who had been signing autographs, froze stiff at the voice. He turned ever so slowly and paled dramatically—quite a feat for a man of his complexion—at the sight of them. He attempted to escape the building, but Sirius had already made it over to him, dragging the rest of his friends with him.

"What are you doing here?" the Slytherin professor asked venomously, casting a particularly nasty glare at Harry as if it was his fault for bringing everyone there.

Sirius smiled wickedly, "Better questions. Who's Serpentine, and what were you thinking?"

Snape glared at all of them in turn, "You will NOT mention this ever again!"

"And what exactly are you going to do to stop us?" Harry smiled, he couldn't imagine saving something this good for himself.

"I could give you detention until you're too old to—" Snape started.

Sirius cut him off, grabbing his shirt and shoving him against the wall, "Listen here, Snape! You so much as put one toe out of line this year with Harry or any of the other Gryffindors and I'll see to it that your ass is sent from here to Timbuktu!"

"Temper, temper, Black," Snape said, pushing Sirius away from him, "I will treat Mr. Potter no differently than any of my other students."

"Bullshit you won't! You..." Sirius got a look in his eyes and Harry instantly knew he was up to something, "...You won't have to worry about that anyway, Snape. Harry's not going to be a student this year."

"What?" Snape and Harry echoed each other.

"You know what I'm talking about, Snape. Harry's been chosen as the next Headmaster of Hogwarts...over you if I'm not mistaken."

Snape glared menacingly at Harry. Obviously he hadn't expected Harry to agree to do so. Harry, on the other hand, was staring at Sirius, open mouthed.

"Sirius," he whispered feverishly in his godfather's ear, "I never said I was going to—"

"Shh, Harry," Sirius cut him off and turned to Snape, "Don't just stand there, Snape. Show some manners, man."

"What?" Snape asked, still disbelieving.

"Congratulate Harry," Sirius spelled it out.

Snape's lip curled visibly, "I'll see you at Hogwarts...Headmaster..."

The disdain in his voice was undeniable. He quickly turned on his heel and stormed out of the restaurant, scowling potently. Once he was gone, Harry turned to Sirius, "What was that all about?"

"What?" Sirius asked innocently.

Harry looked at him, arms crossed, "I haven't decided yet if I'm going to do it or not."

Sirius shrugged and Tali hit him, "That was awfully insensitive, Sirius. Now, when Snape finds out you lied, he's going to have even more to hold against Harry."

"Oh, but you'll decide to do it," Sirius told Harry confidently.

"I don't know, Sirius. I've already told you. I don't know anything about being in charge...let alone of an entire school," Harry said, sighing heavily.

"I wouldn't say that, Harry," Remus said, "You were in charge of the entire school and then some last year when Voldemort attacked."

"That was different," Harry said and they looked at him, "I mean, I wasn't really thinking about it—"

"Then there you go! Just don't think about it!" Sirius exclaimed, quite pleased with himself for having solved the problem.

"Sirius..." Harry started.

"Why don't you just let him think about it, Sirius?" Remus asked, stepping in.

Harry cast Remus a thankful smile and Sirius reluctantly nodded before apologizing to Harry who brushed it off. The four returned to their table to find their food cold.

"Figures," Tali said, poking at her hamburger with a French fry.

"Come and get 'em! Fresh off the recorder! Tapes of tonight's performances!" said a man, walking around with a box of Muggle video tapes in his hands.

Sirius' face lit up, "I'll be right back."

Author's Note: Yay! Chapter two is up! Hopefully it's better than the first one! Lots of info to digest, I know, but before you start, why not take a break from reading and write me a nice little review? Thanks for reading! Oh yeah, before I forget, new members on my mailing list are always welcome! Just say so in your review!

Disclaimer: Wow! I put a disclaimer at the bottom of a story for once! Sorry, didn't want you to know I was going to use one. . .anywho, the song's called 'You Can't Hurry Love' by Diana Ross. . .it amused me anyway. . .picturing Snape singing it. . .