Rachel A. Prongs: Interesting? Is that good or bad? . . .Oh well, thanks for the review!
Danny's Girl: Yeah. . .I was kinda worrying about putting the Snape part in there. . .thought it might make everyone forget about the other parts of the chapter. . .oh well. . .read your story. I like it! 'Course you probably already know, 'cause I reviewed. . .yay! Another fanfic parody writer!
Angelic Demon16: Thanks! I do hope that it's better than the first chapter. I know that one was a bit rushed. . .
Rei: Lol, yeah. . .I heard that song and I instantly pictured Snape singing it. . .I had to fit it in somewhere. Besides, it leaves me some leeway for later on in the story. What do I mean, you ask? Oh, you'll find out. . .
Ears91:Smiles: Great! Another person who likes it! I was a bit worried that people would think it too out of character for Snape. . .I know JKR would never do it. . .but hey, it's my story! Thanks for agreeing!
Brainwashed: Thank you! And it's only just begun, too!
EriEka: Thanks! I'm sorry I wasn't there when you IM'd me, but I was a little busy working on this chapter. . .thanks anyway!
Hedowl5: Lol, okay, if I have time, I'll make Snape rap. . .that might be a bit scary, though. . .:Smiles: Should Harry be Headmaster? I thought it was a nice idea, but I'm not sure as of the moment. . .
Lady Reaper of the Shadows: Sorry, tell your sister I didn't mean it. . .And as for the tapes, they'll be on sale in a week for fifty bucks. . .lol, sorry. Sirius took 'em all. Maybe you can ask him for one.
Kim: Yeah. . .I'm kinda wondering what people liked better. Singing Snape or elf Snape? Women's intuition? Did I say that? I don't remember. . .oh well. . .thanks for the review!
Amy: Lol, thanks! Should he really? Well, I've already made up my mind about that, and, as you can probably tell my the title of this chapter, I've decided to share with you what's going on. . .
Istalksiriusonweekends: Have Harry sing. . .:Smiles and looks around nervously: Hehehe. . .maybe. . .if you're good. . .
Charlie: Yay! I love writing humor! I never think I'm too terribly good at it, though, SO glad you think so:Smiles: Groovy! I love that word! Well. . .you'll just have to read this chapter and find out, huh? Yay! Go ahead!
Ladee Sakura Evenstar Night: Well. . .perhaps this chapter won't be more humorous. . .but, yes, this story has many more laughs ahead. . .:Grins evilly: You have NO idea what I have planned. . . And what's wrong? You think the idea of Harry being Headmaster is stupid? Whoa, I'm confused. . .
Matakishi Hirata-san: Glad you liked it! And good news! You don't have to wait any longer! Here's more! Yay! Thanks for your patience!
Wanted: A Happy Ending
Ch3: The Verdict
Ssso let me get thisss ssstraight. They want you to take the mossst powerful job in the ssschool, and you don't want to do it?
"Well. . .kind of. . ."
What'sss the problem?
Harry sighed and rolled onto his back. A green garden snake slithered onto his stomach and stared at Harry.
I asssked you a quessstion, Harry
Harry rolled his eyes. He should have known better than to ask a snake. All they cared about was power and how to obtain it. It's not like he had anyone else to ask, though. Sirius kept telling him to do it, Remus and Tali said it was his decision, and there was no way he was about to ask his other friends, enough people knew as it was.
"I always manage to get myself squared out. . .I just want a normal life for once," Harry broke off and shook his head, "I suppose I should know better by now, though."
Perhapsss you were dessstined for greater thingsss. Maybe you ssshould accept thingsss asss they are and take the posssition
Harry sighed again. Yes, he was better off asking a wall what to do than a snake. He sat up and the snake fell into his lap, "That doesn't help me much."
It ssseemsss to me that you are only looking for the anssswer you want to hear
Harry stood up, "Just forget it."
The snake slithered up his leg, You can talk to my kind. You dessstroyed the evil one. You have the trussst of all your kind. You are dessstined for great thingsss. Why not just accept it?
"I just want to be normal—"
You can never be normal. Learn to live with it
Harry looked to his shoulder where the snake resided, "You're not being very helpful, you know?"
I am jussst giving you a sssnake'sss point of view. Take it or leave it
"Again, not very helpful," Harry said, running a hand through his hair.
The snake moved to Harry's other shoulder and slithered its tongue in Harry's ear. Harry swatted the snake's head away, "Stop it."
I can sssee that you care not of my opinion
"Oh, don't be like that," Harry rolled his eyes.
The snake slithered to the ground and a few feet away from Harry before turning around, You are an extraordinary human, Harry. I don't sssee why you try ssso hard to hide your giftsss. It would only be another year until you graduated anyway, not much of a difference if you asssk me
With that, the snake disappeared into the brush. Harry stared after it.
'I don't try to hide my gifts!' he thought indignantly. But even as he thought this, he knew it to be untrue. He had never liked the spotlight, and anything that would make him stand out more…
It didn't take himself long to ascertain himself that he did. . .and quite often, too. He groaned and shook his head. He mentally wrote a quick note and sent it to Sirius, telling him he had gone on a walk and not to worry. Harry quickly apparated to Godric's Hallow. He walked through the streets of the town, smiling politely to everyone who acknowledged him.
In minimal time, Harry had managed to reach his goal. A large house stood in the shade of many trees. A beautiful garden of all kinds of flowers decorated the front yard. In the front, much to Harry's dismay, were large statues of all the Potters.
He didn't mind gazing upon the faces of his parents, he never did, but it perturbed him to no end to have his face, at least five times larger than the original, staring back at him every time he came to visit his old house. He remembered all too well the first day he had seen it.
Flashback
"Where are we going?" Harry asked as he ran into yet another tree, "Ow! The least you could do was watch where you're leading me."
"Sorry, Harry. . .it's just a bit further," Lavender said, pulling him along.
Harry tripped on a large rock and fell into her, "Lavender, why doesn't someone else lead me for a while?"
He couldn't see her, due to a blindfold over his eyes, but he heard her huff off. Someone else took his hand and Harry instantly knew who it was, "When'd you get here, Sirius?"
"A few minutes ago," Sirius said as they started to move again.
"We're here!" Ron announced off to the side.
"Finally! It's about time!" Harry said as his hand was dropped, "Can I take off this stupid blindfold already?"
He imagined that they had looked at each other, for they all shouted to go ahead at the same time. Harry reached up and pulled the bandana off. The warm summer air felt marvelous against his eyes, though almost immediately wished the blindfold was still on.
"What the hell is that?" he exclaimed in horror.
A humongous statue of him was staring right back at him. It appeared to have been just recently constructed, for it was still shiny in the bright sunlight.
"It's you, Harry. I would have thought you could figure that out," Ron smiled, obviously just managing to hold back his laughter.
Harry looked at him, "I know it's me. But where the hell did it come from?"
Everyone laughed and Harry crossed his arms, "I don't know what's so funny. Where do people get off doing something like that without my permission?"
The laughter died down a bit and Harry looked between them, "What?"
"Er. . .Harry. . ." Hermione started, walking over to him, "You were, um, you were dead when they built it."
She whispered the word "dead" so quietly that it was almost inaudible, but Harry heard her quite clear. He sighed. People were still making such a big deal out of his death and rebirth, no matter the fact that it was over and done with.
Indeed, the first questions always thrust upon him when he was ambushed by reporters—or, for that matter, anyone who didn't personally know him—related, if not to his battle with Voldemort, than the miracle of his resurrection.
It seemed to Harry that he would never outrun having come back from the dead. Even an Healers from St. Mungo's were still constantly calling on him in hopes of discovering the key to reviving the dead. It didn't seem to matter to anyone that Harry assured them that the deed was an event not to be repeated at any point in the feasible future. Still not deterred, Harry had even gone as far as to give another in-depth interview with the Quibbler detailing his journey through the afterlife. Alas, all his efforts came up useless, and Harry had to rely on the stealth and cunning of both himself and his friends to keep away from inquiring minds.
Sighing, Harry turned to face the monstrosity and shook his head, "I'm not really that fat, am I?"
End Flashback
Harry smiled at the memory and walked past the statues. He had tried desperately to get the atrocity torn down, but, as it had been explained to him numerous times, a new one would just be constructed as soon as he did die in ninety or so years, so there really wasn't a point in destroying it. He had reluctantly agreed to let it stay. . .as long as statues of his parents were made as well. And so it had been done.
Taking several steps toward his parents, Harry blinked briefly. Opening his eyes again, a bed of lilies that looked as if it had been growing there for several seasons surrounded the two statues. Harry smiled at them a moment longer before continuing on to the purpose of his being there.
The house was still as clean as it had been when he first visited. It had been rebuilt and now served as a museum to the Potter family, much to Harry's dismay. Luckily, though it was a Sunday, so he didn't have to worry about being disturbed. The long, winding staircase was made of marble, and his footsteps echoed off the walls ten times louder than normal. He was fairly certain that they hadn't been made of marble originally, but it was something he had learned to deal with.
When he reached the top of the staircase, Harry stared out the large window. A flock of birds was flying away from him. He watched them until they vanished over the horizon. Breaking his gaze from the window, he turned down the right hall. Passing by the first room, he couldn't help himself but peek in.
He closed his eyes and attempted to keep his anger down. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes again and stared out across the darkly decorated walls.
All the year old news articles from the many newspapers of the world were pinned up against the walls. He watched the figures in the pictures move around dramatically. He broke his gaze from them. He didn't have to look at them. No, those memories were impressed upon his mind far too deeply for him to forget, and heaven knew how much he desperately wished he could forget.
"Damn you," he whispered quietly at a nearby clipping of his uncle, smashing the head of a younger version of him against the wall.
Eyes wandering off the walls, he looked around the rest of the room. In the corner, on a table, was a broken lamp covered in dry blood. Harry's eyes widened. That certainly hadn't been there last time he visited this room. He tried to break his gaze from it, but before he could do so, he felt a memory creeping to the front of his mind. . .
Harry glared at him, "Exactly what have you ever done that could be considered charitable? All you've ever done is kick when I'm down-"
He was tired of always taking his uncle's ranting and raving, especially when half the time everything he said was a lie. Besides, his uncle would have a full nine months to call down before Harry would have to face him again.
Vernon's eyes spit fire as he interrupted Harry, "THAT'S IT! EVERYTHING I'VE DONE IS CHARITABLE! YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRAT!"
With that Vernon grabbed a lamp off Harry's bedside table and whacked him over the head with it. Harry could feel blood begin to seep from his head, acting like glue between his scalp and his hair. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not but he could almost swear that he could feel a piece of the pottery sticking out of his head.
Harry unconsciously brought a hand to the back of his head. He had been lucky that it had healed back to normal. Shaking his head, he brought himself back into the present moment. He had NO clue how anyone had gotten a hold of that, he was certain that his aunt and uncle had thrown it out, but he couldn't help but feel a surge of anger that someone would feel it appropriate to put such an item up for public display.
He quickly waved his hand and the lamp pieces instantly rearranged themselves into a perfectly usable lamp. He shook his head again, astonished that people would actually want to look around at the abuse that a helpless boy had been forced to put up with for fifteen years.
Vernon dropped Harry's limp form to the ground and sneered, "You worthless piece of shit! You'll never amount to anything!"
Harry quickly knocked the memory out of his head. He looked around and a tidal wave of unpleasant memories rushed forward. Harry dodged out of the room as fast as he could and slammed the door behind him. He closed his eyes and slid down the door to the floor. He rested his head on his knees as he took several deep breaths. He thought he had gotten over all that. . .apparently not.
Still breathing heavily, he leaned back and let his head lean against the door. His eyes were still closed and the most infinitesimal amount of liquid reached his closed eyelids. He brushed them away with his shirt sleeve and opened his eyes. He was being a baby. Vernon and Petunia Dursley were dead, and there was no point in wallowing in the misery they had forced upon him in life.
Sighing heavily, he stood and wiped his eyes again. He began to wish he had never come here in the first place. To tell the truth, he didn't know why he had felt compelled to. He had been here before. He knew what was here. Merlin knew how hard he those close to him had fought to, at the very least, get rid of that one room. It was completely disrespectful, rude, and heartless to put a room on public display that housed images and symbols of him at his weakest moments.
Harry sighed irritably and cast his gaze to the side. Maybe now that Dumbledore was Minister of Magic he could put a stop to this…get it closed down for good. Maybe even sue then donate the money to Hermione's never-ending SPEW efforts. Harry snorted at his own thoughts. There really was no point.
From what he had been told, similar "museums" had been constructed in nearly all countries—a prospect that left him dazed and mortified to this date. He would never be able to close them all. No, he just had to live with the fact his triumph over Voldemort had pushed the wizarding world's fixation with him over the edge from a freaky, yet bearable interest to a sick, perverted obsession.
Casting one last glance at the door, Harry felt his eyes narrow. He quickly raised his arm and hit the door as hard as he could. A small dent formed where his hand had connected with it, and Harry felt a small surge of comfort. They had been wrong. He was worth more than they had ever been, and he had already amounted to more than they could have ever hoped to.
The snake's words echoed in the back of Harry's mind: You can never be normal. Learn to live with it
So he wasn't normal. . .perhaps he really was a "freak," as his aunt and uncle had called him so many times. He lowered his eyes for a moment before looking up at the door with a small smile. Yeah, he was a freak, but he was a freak with a boat load of friends and an ocean full of people who cared about him. Giving one last kick to the door in front of him, Harry apparated to Hogwarts.
A surprised shriek met him, "Potter!"
Harry looked to his side and smirked, "Getting ready for the first years?"
Peeves flipped in a circle and the bucket that had been hanging from the ceiling fell to the floor with a loud clatter, "What a year this one will be!"
"You better stay away from the Gryffindors, Peeves," Harry warned, waving his finger at him, very McGonagall-ish.
Peeves cackled, "I wouldn't dream of it, Potter."
Harry rolled his eyes, "Yeah, whatever you say, Peeves."
The poltergeist laughed and swiftly sped out of the Great Hall. Harry shook his head and started on his way to Dumbledore's office. Along the way, he encountered Snape who gave him a very nasty sneer, but otherwise ignored him.
When Harry reached the statue blocking the entrance to the Headmaster's office, he reached his hand out and touched it. It started moving and Harry slowly walked the rest of the way up the stairs. He knocked on the door and he was, very jovially, told to enter.
"Ah, Harry! What a nice surprise!" Dumbledore smiled.
"Hello, Pro. . .Dumbledore," Harry caught himself in mid-sentence. He didn't know if he would ever get used to calling him Dumbledore in front of him.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
Harry smiled, "I've decided what I want to do."
Dumbledore nodded and motioned Harry to take the seat in front of his desk, "And?"
Harry looked down and took a deep breath before looking up and smiling broadly, "I've decided to accept your offer."
"Wonderful!" Dumbledore exclaimed, though Harry couldn't help but get the feeling that he had already known the answer, "Might I inquire as to what changed your mind?"
"A couple of things. . .I had a rather interesting discussion with a snake out by the lake at Marauder Manor, then I visited to my parents' old house."
Dumbledore seemed to understand what Harry meant by visiting his parents' house, for he nodded and stood up, "I see, well, I suppose that this is now your seat."
Harry laughed and shook his head, "This is going to be one hell of a year, isn't it?"
"An interesting one, at the least," Dumbledore agreed, "School starts in a week. I will have my possessions cleared out by tomorrow afternoon; you should bring your belongings then."
Harry nodded, "Dumbledore, could you do me a favor?"
"Certainly, what is it?"
"Could you keep this between us for the moment? I don't want anymore attention any sooner than necessary."
Dumbledore laughed, but nodded nonetheless, "I shall need to inform the Board and the other professors, but other than that, it will be our little secret."
Harry breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Sir."
"Dumbledore, Harry," Dumbledore reminded him, "And before I forget, you aren't busy tomorrow are you?"
"No."
"Good, keep your schedule clear," Dumbledore said, sitting back down, "When you come to unpack tomorrow I will need to explain to you your duties as Headmaster."
Harry nodded, "Alright then. I better be going, though."
"Of course. Can't wait to share the news with Sirius, Tali, and Remus?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry shrugged before, "I guess. . ."
He shook his head and rolled his eyes, "But they'll kill me if I'm not back before dark."
Dumbledore laughed and bid Harry farewell, who promptly apparated back to Marauder Manor.
"Where have you been, Harry? It's already eight thirty!" Sirius jumped on him the moment he appeared in the living room.
Harry laughed nervously and took a few steps forward, "I'm not a little kid, Sirius. I can take care of myself. Besides, I wasn't about to get hurt where I was."
"Well where were you?" Tali asked, ten times more calm than her husband.
"Hogwarts," Harry said simply.
Instantly, the three froze, "Why?"
Harry smiled in a taunting fashion, "I had to tell Dumbledore what I decided to do, didn't I?"
"Well?" Sirius asked excitedly.
"Well what?" Harry asked, knowing perfectly well what they wanted to know.
"What did you decide?" Remus prompted.
Harry started walking towards the door, "Maybe you three should just wait and find out."
"Oh no you don't!" Sirius said, stepping in front of him, "Harry Potter, you'll tell me now or else!"
Harry couldn't help but laugh at the anxiety threatening to rip his godfather in two, "Are you really in that big of a rush to find out that I have the right to order you around?"
"Of course I'm—" Sirius stopped talking and his eyes widened, "Yes! I told you! I told you you'd do it!"
He started dancing around in little victory circles and Harry turned to the other two, who were actually sane.
"Congratulations, Harry," Remus smiled.
"Thanks!" Harry smiled brightly.
"This is one of the best line up of teachers Hogwarts has ever seen, huh?" Tali mused happily.
Harry was about to respond when he found himself lifted off the ground and spun around in circles, "We're gonna have so much fun this year! I can't wait to see Snape's face when he finds out! Yay!"
Harry's glasses bounced to edge of his nose and he had to fight to free an arm from his side to grab a hold of them before they fell off, "Sirius! Let me go!"
Sirius didn't seem to hear him, for he went on dancing. Harry's shirt was wrenched up to the base of his neck and muffled his protests. Tali and Remus were laughing too much for them to even try to help. It wasn't long, however, until Sirius tripped on the rug in the middle of the room.
The two fell to the floor roughly. Harry tumbled a few feet out of Sirius' arms and, as soon as he sat up, pulled his shirt off his nose, and put his glasses on his face.
"You're crazy, Padfoot," he commented, rubbing his back.
Sirius grinned madly from the floor, "Yay!"
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Super sorry for the delay! I was preoccupied with finals! Anywho, yay! Harry's Headmaster now! How many of you saw that coming? Since I was late in updating, I'll let you in on some happenings in the next chapter:
1-Fun, fun, and more fun for Harry, Sirius, Remus, and Tali at Hogwarts
2-An end of summer dinner for the new Marauders
3-And the last thing I'm gonna tell you: Harry gets to know someone a little better
That's all I'm gonna tell you! Though, don't think that's all that's gonna happen in the next chapter! Yay! Now that I was so nice, how about you write a review? Thanks!