This is getting harder to write. It may be coming near an end. I've never actually finished anything before and I'm surprised I got this far with this. Will I write more Rent fic after this? Probably. It's been a blast. Keep those reviews coming. You know I love you guys. You made a tough week better for me and then it got even better after that so I'm a pretty happy person. I just want you all to know that I really do appreciate you.

Peace

-elodie

Wisp

Chapter 16

Winnie still hated churches. This was only her second time in a church this year. She shivered. The other time had been a funeral too…

Mark was crying, making it hard for him to speak. He stood up at the front, giving Roger's eulogy. He kept pausing to take off his glasses and wipe his eyes on his shirtsleeve.

"Roger was my best friend," He choked out. "He was with me through thick and thin. I came to this city knowing no one and he took me in and gave me a home." Mark took a deep breath. "Roger Davis was not a perfect person. He had his demons. He had his share of hardships. He could be a bit of a grouch sometimes, wasn't the most agreeable, and he snored," Mark added, a slight grin breaking through the tears. "But no one's perfect. Roger was a strong person. He was a good person. He cared about his friends, he cared about his music. Before he… Before he got sick, he'd take in strays and set them on their feet. That's what he did for me. Roger Davis kept me alive during some tough times and I'm forever grateful and indebted to him. He was my best friend, and I'm not… I'm not sure how I'm going to live without him."

Winnie stared straight at the floor in front of her, shivering like crazy. Maureen reached out to steady her, but Winnie shied away.

"Don't touch me," She hissed, turning to glare at Maureen.

Maureen recoiled, a bit startled by the reaction. "I was just trying to-"

"Just don't touch me. Please," Winnie whispered sharply, turning her gaze back to the floor in front of her.

Joanne squeezed Maureen's hand reassuringly. "Don't try to help. She'll only let Mark touch her," She whispered in Maureen's ear. "You'll only make it worse. Don't worry about it, she'll come around."

Maureen leaned into Joanne, cuddling against her. "Joanne, I miss Roger."

*          *          *

They sat on opposite sides of the room, knees drawn to chests, chins on knees. Neither were crying but the sadness and pain in the room was so thick that it could be cut with a knife.

"A fucking aneurysm," Mark muttered. "After all that, a fucking aneurysm."

"Mark, please don't talk about this now. I-I can't deal with it."

"Well, you're going to have to," Mark snapped. "I just can't get over it. After fighting so hard all those years, a fucking aneurysm does him in."

"Shut up!" Winnie hissed, covering her ears with her hands.

Mark shook his head in disgust. "Don't run from it. Roger is dead."

"Mark, just… Please," Winnie pleaded, starting to cry.

Mark turned away from her, trying to block out the sounds of her sobs. He couldn't believe she wouldn't even let him mention Roger. He was trying to deal with this, but she wouldn't let him. How dare she? He curled himself into a tighter ball.

He could feel himself breaking down. He was almost crying. Don't cry, don't cry, he told himself furiously. Mark glanced up at Winnie, starting to feel a bit sorry for her. She was crying so hard, lying against the wall, hugging her arms around her so tightly. Her shivering was obvious.

Slowly pushing himself up, he crossed the room and kneeled down before her. "Winnie," He said softly, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me," She hissed, sitting straight up, a wild scared look in her eyes.

Mark recoiled and backed away. "Winnie, I'm sorry. I just-"

"I just can't deal with this right now, Mark," She whispered, curling herself up into a tight ball. "I really can't."

"Fine," Mark spat, disgusted at her. "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

Winnie lifted her eyes to stare at his retreating back and began to sob harder. She wished she'd let him hug her, wrap her in his arms and kiss her tears away but she just couldn't. She couldn't explain it.

Leaning her head back against the wall, she sighed heavily. It was so cold. She couldn't stop shivering.

"Winnie?"

Winnie turned to look in the direction of the voice. Mark was standing in the doorway, his eyes wet and swollen. "Go away, Mark. I need to be alone."

"Do you want to come to bed Winnie? I promise I won't touch you. It's really cold out here and I have the heater working in there."

Winnie didn't answer, staring at her feet.

"Winnie?"

She slowly turned to look at him. His eyes were pleading. She shivered. It certainly was cold.

"Fine," She said softly, pushing herself up off the floor. "I'll come."

Mark smiled, relieved by this and held the door open for her. They collapsed on the bed, fully clothed. Winnie huddled on one side, Mark watching her from the other.

"Winnie, I love you. You know that right?"

"I know," Winnie murmured, shivering again.

*          *          *

Mark awoke the sound of a ringing phone. He ignored it. Winnie wasn't in bed any more, she'd get it.

But the phone kept ringing and ringing. The answering machine picked up and he heard a loud, "Speak!" and a shrill beep.

"C'mon, Mark. I know you're up there."

Mark groaned. It was Collins and he was downstairs. Now he had to get out of bed.

"Mark? C'mon you lazy ass. Get up. I know you're not sleeping."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Mark muttered, picking up the phone. "Hey Collins. Hang on a second and I'll throw the key down."

"It's about time!" Collins said jokingly.

Mark grunted and hung up the phone, throwing open the window and tossing the pouch down the waiting Collins below. A minute later Collins came through the door, a sobered look on his face.

"Hey Mark."

"Hey Collins."

"You want some coffee? You look like you need some."

Mark grinned thankfully and took the steaming cup from him. "Yeah, I didn't sleep so well last night. Winnie and I sort of had a fight."

Collins sat on the couch, grabbing the half-filled photo album from the floor in front and flipping through it. "About what? And what do you mean 'sort of'?"

Mark shrugged and gulped down the coffee, wincing when it burned his throat. "Well, about Roger… And it really couldn't technically be called a fight. We didn't argue. We just snapped and cried. She wouldn't let me touch her at all."

"Really?" Collins raised his eyebrows.

Mark nodded, running a grubby hand through his mussed blond hair. "She was shivering so bad and she was just crying so much. And I tried to hug her and she shied away. I finally got her to come to bed since I had the heat working, but when I told her that I loved her, she wouldn't say it back. It's worrying me."

"She's just upset, Mark," Collins said gently. "She'll come around. Besides, how are you dealing with everything?"

Mark shrugged and sat down next to Collins. "Well, as well as I ever have." Collins shot him a look. "Ok, I'm really upset. I started crying last night but I forced myself to stop. I hate crying."

"You know, I know that you were suicidal last year, Mark."

Mark's head snapped up. "What? Who told you that?"

"Maureen."

"I told her not to tell…"

"I just want to make sure that you're not going to… Well, hurt yourself. You've been doing so well ever since you met Winnie, but… This is hard. I mean, you lost your best friend."

Mark shook his head in disgust. "What, you think I'm going to fucking off myself and abandon her? Do you think I'm that selfish?"

"She isn't everything, Mark. Think of yourself for once. You've been so busy worrying about her for the past ten months that you haven't had any time for yourself."

"You're exaggerating."

"You treat her like a child. You coddle her. Everything revolves around her. I'm not saying that that's bad, but you still need to think about yourself. You always do this. You're too selfless Mark. You abandoned yourself to care for first Roger and now Winnie. You're not their parent, Mark."

"They don't have good parents. They needed someone to take care of them…" Mark said softly.

Collins shrugged and stood up. "Well, I just came by to see how you and Winnie were doing. Where is she anyway?"

"I don't know," Mark said, getting up to look for her. "I don't know if she's here. Winnie? Winnie, are you here?"

The bathroom door was open, she wasn't in there… Roger's bedroom? No. Her own bedroom? No. Mark's? No. Mark noticed a scrap of paper on the table next to the bed. It wasn't his and it was covered in handwriting that wasn't his.

Picking it up, he read, his heart dropping down to his feet.

M –

Had to go away. I may be back, I may not. I'll be in touch. Don't come looking for me.

-W

He was frozen. Everything stopped around him. He was vaguely aware of Collins' presence in the room and heard him say something but it all sounded distant.

"Mark? Mark, what does it say? Mark, are you OK? What's it say?"

"She's gone," Mark murmured.

"What?"

"She's gone."

First there were four little Indians, then three, then two. And then there was one.