~ Chapter 28: The Old and The New ~
Finally in Hogwarts...
Harry had regained his consciousness. The first thing that caught his eyes the moment he woke up was Fenix looking very haggard, and a sympathetic Snape. They were just about to arrive to Hogwarts.
: Remus? : Fenix called out softly.
: I'm here, : Remus's mindvoice intertwined with hers.
: Please, do not hate me for what I did, : Fenix said desperately. Remus did not answer her as their carriages went into a halt and Snape helped Fenix and Hermione down the carriage. Sirius aided his godson down and signaled to Neville to look after Harry as he handled their luggage. Carrying their trunks, they went up the stairs and proceeded to the Great Hall where the Headmaster was waiting gravely for them. It took a while before all students and staff congregated in the Great Hall. Professor Dumbledore spoke up, his voice loud and clear.
"I am sure you are all very tired, so it would be unwise if we were to conduct the Sorting Ceremony now. Those feeling unwell, please see Madam Pomfrey. First years, in the meantime you will sleep here in the Great Hall. Mr. Black and company, please come with me. You too, Severus."
"But Professor," Ron spoke up diffidently, "we're supposed to give the password to the common room."
"Mr. Finnigan," the Headmaster called out and Seamus appeared instantly. "You have to take over Ron's and Hermione's duties in the meantime."
"What's the password?" Harry's roommate asked and Ron whispered Diangelos. "Right." Seamus quickly went off with the other Gryffindors.
"I don't think I'm supposed to be with you," Neville said skittishly. "Anyway, I'll go to the Common Room. So see you in the morning." The boy picked up his trunk and hurried over to Seamus and Dean Thomas.
The eight humans plus two wolves followed the Headmaster as he led them upwards, pausing often when the stairs started to groan and change direction. Harry was feeling a little lethargic and he wondered why they were going up to the top floor. Then he stared at a portrait whose figure kept running around away from the trolls. Wait! We're going to the Room of Requirement! The Headmaster paused at the door for a moment before turning the knob. They shuffled in tiredly and came into a very large bedroom. Professor Dumbledore left the room without another word, shutting the door quietly.
Dobby and other house-elves suddenly appeared. Some were bringing refreshments; some brought wash water, while some helped in storing their trunks away. The wolves gratefully thanked one of the house-elves and gulped the drinking water greedily. The wolves then curled up in one corner and immediately fell asleep. The humans washed and ate in silence, with Fenix not looking at any of them the whole time.
Should I go to sleep? Harry questioned himself but could not help feeling that the night was not over for them yet. I guess not… let's wait a while more. The remains of their supper vanished instantly with the table they had used. One by one, the candles went off, leaving one tall candle lit to illuminate the vast bedroom. Fenix stood up suddenly to crawl onto the colossal bed. She sat with her knees tucked in close to her chest with her head bowed. Remus and Sirius silently followed her, and Sirius watched his oathsister tenderly as Remus drew the Fire Master into a comforting embrace. Fenix fought down the grief and sadness but shuddered in defeat as she felt her emotional walls crumbled away. The five other humans crowded on the bed, watching the Fire Master solemnly.
: Fenix, : Remus called silently, : what's wrong? :
: You wouldn't understand, : she said sadly.
: Try us! : Sirius suddenly exploded and Ginny closed her eyes in pain as Sirius's mindvoice trumpeted out too loudly for her taste. : Fenix, say what's on your mind. No more evasions! We're all a goddamn extended family anyway! So why the hell are you keeping secrets? :
: Is Severus a part of our family then? : Fenix's mindvoice echoed softly in their minds and Harry and Ron stared at the Potions Master, who was gazing at the curled Fire Master with superb calmness.
: He is. : Harry answered, much to the surprise of his friends. : But it is up to him if he wants to be in it… or not to be. :
: No matter what, we're here for you. Why are you feeling so sad? And why should I or 'we' hate you for what you did back there? It was necessary, wasn't it? You gave them a second chance but they ignored it, so why are you feeling sad over it? : Remus pressed his cheek against her hair.
Fenix hid her face in Remus's chest but took Sirius's hand in silent assurance. Slowly, she spoke not in words, but with images, sensations and feelings to them all, starting with her fears and weakness closer to her heart. The death of her blood kin, Sirius, the people that had came suddenly into her life and loving them, the destruction of the elves, and her greatest fear. The fear of having nothing to love. Ron was blinking his eyes in surprise when she gave them a fraction of her joy when Snape began to unbend ever since he joined in the group. She loves Snape just as she loves Sirius. Dear God! All of us must be going mental now because Snape does feel like one of us. Poor Percy. This will be a shock to him when he finds out.
: I can tolerate loneliness. I have been lonely since the day I came into being. But it was the presence of Life around me that prevented me to will myself out of existence or to return to something I once was, : Fenix murmured, her mindvoice was shaded with a subtle green as she was filled with shame. She began to take them into one of her deeper memories and the intelligence behind those memories seemed to be totally alien.
: I was an alien… I guess… these memories I'm showing you now was from the memories of my original form, : Fenix explained, and showed them the original form of the Phoenix. It was beautiful and purely feminine. : Does this suit your taste more, Remus? : Remus shook his head as he chuckled a little. She was no longer weeping and had answered to Remus's body language by hugging him as he held her.
The human company carefully tried to assess the mental images and the sensations that went with them. : So full of pride, aren't you, sister? : Sirius said softly. Fenix nodded her head a little.
: I was proud and vain. The mortals feared and worshipped me. But it all changed when a war among the Gods began. Not really among the Gods, of course. The humans at that time were so full of conceit and pride just as I was. I don't really remember how I started changing; walking the earth as a human. Mingled and insinuated myself in the general population. The other intelligence faded into something much more complicated and distinct as I evolved into something like the humans. It was a morning when I was finally aware that there must be something important in Life. I went searching for the answer. I knew that there was something missing in me. Then He came. He taught me how to bow to love. : Fenix squirmed and maneuvered so that she faced them and pulled Remus's arms about her waist.
Her courage at telling her worst fears to the children seemed to open a door that had been kept hidden. Ginny began first, not so much telling Fenix what she felt about the current situation than showing her thoughts and fears to the others. This went on for most of the night, with then rest of the six humans taking turns to show and in the process acknowledged their fears. Ginny's, Hermione's, and Ron's fears were simple compared to Harry's. He showed them his fear closely similar to what Fenix felt and showed them.
: That is my fear. : Harry bowed his head down, fighting with the tension inside him. His injury still affected him, and he leaned against his best friend for support.
: That's just it, isn't it? They all seem prepared to lay down their lives for us but forbid us to do the same. That's just a little silly, right? : Fenix said lightly, and Harry had to smile at her shrewdness. Snape was the last to reveal his true self. Fenix looked at him mysteriously; she was not putting a pleading or an icy expression. It seemed like she was just waiting for something to drop. : Why didn't they leave, Severus? While they were offered a chance? When they have their own families to look after? : Fenix asked softly.
They could clearly see that the Potions Master was fighting with himself and Harry remembered the fleeting images that he had discovered when he was finally able to resist Snape's Legilimency with a Shield Charm. Will he reveal himself to us? Or will his pride win over his humanity? Harry breathed deeply. They were all still waiting for Snape to answer the Fire Master's questions. At last, he answered. His mindvoice sounded a little scratchy, and it sort of tickled their minds a little.
: Because of pride, I believe. Maybe, because of several things. One; they might consider you, a female, inferior, or two; they're a whole bunch of gits, : Snape answered easily, his expression remained bland as he said that and showed them his past, as a child. He was clearly a victim of child abuse, mainly by his father. He had a normal childhood until his mother contracted a disease that attacked the nervous system and died just as suddenly. His father had expected a lot from him and it grew as Snape received his letter from Hogwarts. Now, Harry and the rest got a chance to find out things from the Potions Master's point of view. Sirius and Remus blushed with shame as Snape showed them a memory of a younger Potions Master being scoffed mainly by Harry's father and godfather.
"You really out to be ashamed of yourself, Sirius," Hermione said reprovingly.
"I know. I know," Sirius said, his face flaming hotly. Something occurred to Harry's godfather.
: What kind of animal speech did you master? : Sirius asked Snape, as he suddenly realized that the latter had used mindspeech, and not the normal way of speaking.
: A bat, : Snape replied brusquely.
: My goodness. That's quite a complicated Tongue to master, : Fenix complimented him and Snape indulged her with a mocking bow. Snape continued retelling parts of his life and the reason why he had turned his back on Voldemort.
: Very risky business, Severus, : Remus said as he tried to gain his wits back, severely shocked that Snape was not as cold-hearted as he appeared to be.
: Was that why you were friendly with Mr. Malfoy? To gain information for Professor Dumbledore while you seemingly gave him information about us? : Harry hazarded. Snape nodded in satisfaction, though his eyes gleamed with hatred for a moment when Harry uttered Malfoy.
"I wonder why Dumbledore asked for a huge bed and not bunk beds," Ron muttered inconsequentially.
"Probably because he knows that we needed to be close," Ginny said casually, giving sidelong glances at Remus and her own brother.
"What's the time?" Fenix's voice croaked a little. Harry fumbled for his pocket watch in his pants.
"Three minutes to four."
"Better get some sleep then," Fenix said as she handed pillows to each of them and pushed Remus down on the bed and curled beside him.
"All of us on the bed?" Snape exclaimed.
"Welcome to the weird family of assorted magicians, Professor," Ron spoke up with amusement as he lay down at the edge of the bed and Hermione went to him instantly. Ginny and Harry looked at each other in embarrassment and Ginny muttered something under her breath and lied down beside Hermione. Harry, seeing no other choice, curled up beside Ginny. Sirius was already lying down next to Fenix leaving the Potions Master to pick his sleeping site.
Which one? Do I sleep beside Harry, the offspring of my childhood tormentor or do I sleep next to the childhood tormentor? Or do I go for the floor? Snape snarled to himself and took the pillow Sirius offered and placed it next to The Boy who Lived. Fenix sat up and placed the bolster to prevent Remus and Sirius's feet from accidentally kicking the Potions Master while they slept. It was fifteen minutes later but they were all still awake, staring at the beams in the ceiling.
"Someone blow off that blasted candle," Sirius moaned. Fenix chuckled and Krill volunteered. The room instantly plunged into darkness and they could faintly hear the roaring of thunder. Fenix took the opportunity of the darkness to give her lover one, long and passionate kiss.
: I wish that we were alone right now, : Remus's mindvoice held a sensation of regret as he said that.
: Might I remind you that you two are not alone? : Sirius said acidly.
: Spoilsport, : Remus replied.
"Night guys," Fenix said softly and was answered just as softly.
: Welcome to a real family, Professor, : Harry said privately to the Potions Master. Snape remained silent. It was not long before they fell into a dreamless sleep.
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"I bloody well don't believe this! My own kind, had fallen prey to love's sweetness!"
"I told you that this will happen when it's time, Salz," a sorceress in a splendid blue evening gown said patiently.
"Shut up, Wen," the man in green velvet growled.
"You should have listened to her," a man in armor nodded his head in agreement.
"Isn't it wonderful? Healing at last!" A motherly looking woman stared piercingly at the man in green. "Aren't you happy, Salz?"
"You're jumping to conclusions again, Helga. Of course I'm happy!" Salz said lazily. "Got knocked off in my own game. And keep your hands off the woman, Ric! Dear gods! After all this centuries, you still treat her the same!"
"Flirting again? You ought to be careful just in case she thinks you're an incubus. She's already killed Dementors… I don't want to know if she can kill ghosts," the sorceress in blue cautioned the knight.
"Why do you say I'm flirting, Wen?" the knight sounded injured. "You know my eyes only see you," he continued sweetly.
"My foot." Helga snorted and she made a face at the knight. "Let's leave them now. We'll drop in time and time again to give pointers if they need it. I think they're doing fine right now. Godric!" the ghost yelled at the ghostly knight, stopping him just in time from kissing the Fire Master. "She's already got a partner! Salz, take care of him," she instructed firmly.
"With pleasure, Helga darling," Salz drawled and changed into his armor. "Shall we have another go, Ric?"
"It'll pass the time. On guard!"
The ghosts vanished from the Room of Requirement. Fenix blinked her eyes and thought in confusion. Funny… I thought I heard someone saying 'On guard'… Her thought trailed off and she snuggled closer to Remus and drifted off to sleep.
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